A Country of Our Own

by Karleen Bradford

  Kevin had already boiled up some sap in the lean-to they had out there when we arrived and we had a great time pouring the hot syrup into the snow to make maple taffy.

  Wednesday, March 27th, 1867

  Cook and I made maple-sugar pies today. Here is the recipe for one pie, but thanks to Jean-Louis we had such an abundance of sap that we made several.

  First we boiled a great quantity of sap down until it went past the syrup stage to make maple sugar. Then Cook made enough pastry for several pies. I was in charge of rolling it out and spreading it in the pie tins. Then we made the filling:

  1 cup and a quarter cup more of maple sugar

  A scant cup of freshly churned cream

  2 eggs, well beaten

  1 generous pat of butter

  Cook all the ingredients together until they get nice and thick.

  Cool them, then pour them into pastry-lined pie tins and bake.

  My job was to beat the eggs.

  We made pies for the household, then one for Jean-Louis as a thank you for the sap, and one for Briney so that he would not feel left out. They were the most delicious things I have ever tasted.

  I’m right glad I did not give up maple syrup for Lent.

  Friday, March 29th, 1867

  You will never imagine what that cow did today.

  The barrel of maple sap was on the back kitchen stoop. We kept it covered, but somehow or other, the lid fell off. Didn’t Daisy get out of her stall, discover it and drink a great quantity of it!

  The first we knew of it was later this afternoon when we heard a bellowing and lowing as if the cow were in distress, as she most certainly was. The sap had caused her stomach to distend hugely and she was in great pain. Mister Bradley called immediately for the veterinarian, but it was at least two hours more before he was able to come.

  “We must pierce her stomach to let the gas out,” he said. I could not believe it, but watched in horror as he pulled out a sharp dagger and thrust it through a thick piece of wood until only about four inches of the blade protruded. They tethered Daisy securely and Mister Bradley and James held her head while the veterinarian made ready to stab her.

  I couldn’t watch, but I couldn’t not watch.

  The veterinarian drew back his arm and stabbed at poor Daisy’s swollen side with all his might. The piece of wood stopped the blade from going in too far, and Daisy’s distended stomach deflated with a great whoosh and a horrible smell. I thought she would be in agony, but quite the opposite. Didn’t she just give a huge sigh of relief and immediately stop her bellowing.

  When James shut her up in the shed (now repaired from the fire) for the night, she seemed completely back to normal, although she is not being allowed anything to eat for a day or two.

  Through it all Sophie sat on the back stoop and watched with interest and not a little disdain for the stupidity of cows. Brutus was nowhere to be seen. I think he was in hiding, perhaps fearing he was next for the treatment.

  April 1867

  Tuesday, April 2nd, 1867

  When Mister O’Grady came by with the water barrels this morning Briney was not with him. Kevin was helping his da instead. When I asked him where Briney was he told me that their older brother, Thomas, who works at the mill, had had a terrible accident. He broke his leg very badly when a timber fell on him. He will be laid up for some time, so Briney has gone to work in his stead. They cannot take the chance that he will lose his position.

  I’m so worried about the foolish boy. The mill is a dangerous place. Mister O’Grady is worried too, I can tell, but he didn’t say anything. I know the family needs the income from that job. There is another younger brother and two little girls in the family as well, so money is scarce, even though the two older girls work. Kevin is only twelve, but I expect he has left school so as to help out.

  Wednesday, April 3rd, 1867

  I’m worried about Briney.

  Thursday, April 4th, 1867

  I’m so troubled about Briney I cannot think of anything else. Mister O’Grady is not due to come by with the water until next week, though, so I expect I won’t hear anything until then.

  Saturday, April 6th, 1867

  What a relief! Didn’t Briney come by this evening to let me know how things stand. He came straight from the mill and I have never seen him so dirty or so tired. He started apologizing for his appearance and was carrying on about it until I hushed him and told him to pay it no mind and to let me know how he was handling the work at the mill and how his brother was doing.

  First of all, I think he actually enjoys the work at the mill, the foolish boy. He sounded very proud of himself and the more he told me about it and the more worried I became about it, the prouder he got. Why are boys so daft?

  Unfortunately, Thomas is not doing well. His leg is not healing and the doctor who came to set it was not very encouraging about it. Briney says the leg is broken in two places and the doctor is afraid Thomas will never walk properly again.

  If Thomas cannot walk, he surely cannot work. I wonder what will happen? The family desperately needs his wages.

  Wednesday, April 10th, 1867

  The ice is off the river now and spring does seem to be coming. It has been such a long, hard winter.

  No more news from Briney. I’m so anxious about him.

  News today from London, though. On the 29th of March (the very day Daisy had to be stuck with a knife to relieve her bloating) Queen Victoria gave our bill her royal assent. Mister Bradley is elated.

  “We are well on our way to being our own country!” he said tonight.

  Saturday, April 13th, 1867

  Thanks be, Briney came around again today. He had the afternoon off and was going fishing and asked if I might go with him. Missus Bradley gave me leave for a couple of hours and off we went.

  I would have enjoyed the outing if Briney had not been so worried about Thomas. His leg is still not mending well. At least Briney caught a great many fish, and that made him happy. He said his mam would be glad of them to help out with their meals. I think they cannot afford meat or fish from the market too often.

  I even caught some fish! Briney showed me how to hold the rod and set the hook when I saw a fish take it. I would not put the worm on, though. I caught several perch and Briney said they were right good eating. I wouldn’t take them off the hook either, so Briney had to do that. I did not like them thrashing around and they were far too slimy and slithery to hold.

  We caught several buckets full of fish, including sunfish and rock bass as well as the perch. We saw a huge muskie swim by, but it ignored us regally.

  When we were done I offered to help carry the buckets home with Briney. At first he refused — I think he was embarrassed to have me see his home — but the buckets really were too cumbersome for him to manage by himself, so in the end he gave in.

  His house is little more than a shack down by the river in Lower Town. The street is really just a path, even muddier than ours. When we came up to the door, Briney’s two little sisters came running out. They are sweet girls and put me much in mind of Bridget. They were shy with me at first, but soon became easy and by the time I left they were hanging onto my skirts.

  Briney’s mam is lovely. She was so pleased with the fish. In spite of my protests, she wrapped up several of the perch for me to take back to the Bradleys.

  “There’s plenty for all,” she said, “and it’s a right feed we’ll have tonight.”

  She insisted, too, on giving me a slice of bread and butter — to keep my strength up in the cool of the evening. She offered me tea, as well, but I explained I had given it up for Lent. When I left she gave me a great hug and it was all I could do not to burst into tears, it made me miss my own mam so.

  Briney was right about Thomas, though. He was lying on a pallet by the kitchen fire and he does not seem well at all. He just lies with his face to the wall and will not talk. Briney says Thomas is desperate about the fact that he may not be able to work again.
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br />   Cook was pleased about the perch. She rolled them in flour and fried them up in butter and we had a glorious feed too.

  Sunday, April 14th, 1867

  Palm Sunday today. I said a special prayer for Thomas.

  Wednesday, April 17th, 1867

  I have had the most exciting news! Missus Bradley called me in to the parlour this morning and asked me if I would like to visit my family in Québec City! It seems Mister and Missus Forrester are travelling to the city after Easter, as Missus Forrester has a sister there and she wishes to visit her. They are taking Bessie and offered to take me as well. I will be away for two weeks and will have to make up for it with fewer days off when I get back, but it will be worth it.

  I am beside myself with joy.

  Thursday, April 18th, 1867

  Maundy Thursday today. The end of Lent. I can drink tea again but, truth be told, I am so excited about going home that I can’t even think about that.

  Friday, April 19th, 1867

  Good Friday. It was hard for me to keep a solemn face today at Mass. It would not have done for me to be smiling on such a sad day, but it was all I could do to keep the happiness covered up inside me.

  I’m going home!

  Saturday, April 20th, 1867

  Briney came by late this evening. He came straight from his work at the sawmill and I was shocked at his appearance. He has become so thin! I was glad to see him, though, and told him my good news.

  He said he would miss me. At that, didn’t I get right shy. I wanted to say I would miss him too, but the words wouldn’t come out. We spoke a bit longer, then he said he had to be getting off home. Things were a little strange between us. Not like they usually are. He seems older somehow.

  I will miss him, but I am so excited about the trip I cannot really think of anything else.

  Sunday, April 21st, 1867

  Easter Sunday. At last I can let my excitement out. I must admit that the joy for the glorious Resurrection of our Saviour is much mixed with my own private delight. I surely hope that is not a sin. I will ask the priest at my next confession.

  Next week! We leave next week on the train to Québec City!

  Tuesday, April 23rd, 1867

  We leave today. I have my bundle packed and ready. I did not sleep a wink last night.

  Friday, April 26th, 1867

  I am sitting curled up in my old corner of the children’s room. Bridget is snuffling and snoring softly on her pallet, as she always did. Paddy is fast asleep and Eileen is snuggled up close beside me. I cannot begin to describe how warm and happy I feel. I cannot write much now, but I will set down a few words about the trip here.

  Bessie and I sat together on the train and had a grand visit. That girl is never at a loss for words. She talked the whole way, except when we were sleeping. Even then she talked in her sleep a bit. Missus Forrester is a lovely lady. Cook had given me some bread and cheese, but Missus Forrester had a big hamper with all manner of delicious provisions. She shared it liberally with Bessie and me before she and Mister Forrester transferred to the sleeping car on the train from Montreal to Pointe Levi. I am still a little shy in Mister Forrester’s presence, but he buried himself behind a newspaper for most of the time when we were travelling together.

  My opinion of travelling on the rail cars has not changed. I opened the window to catch a breeze and promptly got a cinder in my eye. I did not need Missus Forrester’s admonition to shut it very quickly.

  How very noisy, dirty and uncomfortable it is to travel by train.

  But never mind. It does get you where you want to go. And here, back at home, is most definitely where I wanted to go.

  When the ferry docked in Québec City, there was my whole family waiting for me. I began to weep, and wept all the way home.

  Enough for now. I am going to curl up close to Eileen and just delight in the dear, familiar smell of her and of home.

  I will continue tomorrow.

  May 1867

  Sunday, May 5th, 1867

  I cannot believe I have not written a word in this journal in the whole two weeks that I have been home. And now it’s time to leave! Where has the time gone?

  In living and delighting to be back with my family, that is where. Again, I am tucked up in my bed, as I was in my last entry, but how different I’m feeling now. Sad, that’s what I am, that this visit is over. Still, I can’t be too sad, for it has been lovely. I will have the memories warm in my mind for months to come.

  First of all, baby Timothy. What a delight! He is round and fat and full of giggles and chortles. I have not been able to get enough of him. And Mam looks well and hearty. She has recovered from the birth, which she said was easy, although I have a hard time believing that. Birthing is never easy, it seems to me.

  And more good news — Mary Margaret is expecting a babe of her own now. She and Donny have been over to visit as much as they could and it is so good to be a little sister again instead of always trying to be old and competent. Indeed, I have been petted and made much of, to such an extent that I fear I am spoiled.

  Finally, I was able to have a good talk with Da about Confederation, and I was not surprised to hear that he is all for it. A country must go forward, he said, and we can only do that if we unite. When I asked him if he was worried about Canada East not joining in, he told me not to fret about that. He said some people were against it, but most, English and French, felt as he did. He even thought that being together within a larger independent country might bring the two peoples closer together.

  But it’s back on the train tomorrow. Mister and Missus Forrester will be by to pick me up. I have asked Mam and Da not to go to the ferry. I want to say goodbye here at home.

  The strangest thing has happened, though. I could not have loved being back at home more, but it’s different, and I have had a hard time puzzling it out. Da seems older, quieter. Eileen has become so grown up and responsible, Mam depends on her now so much. Bridget isn’t the baby she was when I left. She was fair bubbling over with stories about school and the best friend she has made there. Although she hugged me as tightly as ever, I could tell that she didn’t really need me as much as she used to. Mary Margaret is wed and will have her own family now. Even wee Paddy, after the first rush of welcoming me home, was off with his friends and little it was that I saw of him from then on.

  For a little while, in spite of the spoiling, I felt left out — as if I weren’t really part of the family any more. But of course I am, and just as well-loved as ever. But things have changed. They’ve all moved on without me just fine.

  That’s as it should be, I know. At least, that’s what I tell myself.

  Wednesday, May 8th, 1867

  Back in Ottawa. The smell of the sawmills hit me as soon as I stepped off the train. It is raining, muddier than ever, and the drains are blocked up again.

  It’s very late. I have not the heart to write more.

  Thursday, May 9th, 1867

  The Bradleys are very pleased. The cornerstone of their new church was laid today. It is to be called St. Alban’s.

  Sure enough, Sophie has had kittens. Now I must find homes for them when they are old enough. Bessie has asked permission from Missus Forrester and will take one, Cook says her sister will take two. To my surprise, Jean-Louis has said that he will take one. His mam has always had a cat and hers just died. He said it would be a great comfort to her. I am sure I will find homes for the rest as well. They are so wee and cunning, and Sophie is being a good mother to them. I could sit and watch them for hours, but of course Cook will have none of that.

  Friday, May 10th, 1867

  There has been a sawdust explosion and fire in the mill where Briney is working! Two men have been injured.

  No news of Briney. I am beset with worry!

  Saturday, May 11th, 1867

  Still no news of Briney. The two men who were injured have died.

  Sunday, May 12th, 1867

  Briney is all right!

  I can
breathe properly again. I was in such a state that I was totally useless helping Cook prepare dinner after Mass today. I kept dropping things and forgetting things. Finally Cook got so annoyed with me that she asked Missus Bradley if I could be let off to go and find out about Briney.

  Needless to say I was out of the house like a shot and ran the whole way to Briney’s. To my relief, it was Briney himself who answered my knock at the door. I am still embarrassed to say that I threw my arms around him in a great hug. He didn’t seem to mind, and hugged me back.

  I am distressed, though, because he is going back to work there tomorrow. He says that with Thomas still abed, the family needs the wages. He said that Thomas is not healing well and will probably never be able to work in the mill again, and he is planning on staying there permanently.

  I was horrified, but he said he felt it was his duty. I argued that his father needed him to help deliver the water, but he told me that Kevin has left school and will take his place there.

  Nothing I could say would change his mind and I’m sorry to say that we had a fair set-to and parted very coolly after the argument.

  Thomas was lying on his cot in the corner of the kitchen by the hearth during all this, but he kept his face to the wall and didn’t say a word. It’s only now that I think of it that I realize that of course he heard every word, and how terribly embarrassing it must have been for him.

  I wish I could take back some of the things I said, but of course I can’t.

  Monday, May 13th, 1867

  Mister Macdonald and Mister Cartier and the others who went with them are back from London. The town is all agog with excitement over Mister Macdonald’s new wife. Mister Bradley saw her and says she is a pleasant-enough looking woman. He added that he hoped she knew what she was in for. I have heard that Mister Macdonald can be a difficult man at times — I suppose that is what Mister Bradley meant, although he didn’t realize I was listening — and he added that Mister Macdonald sometimes has a problem with drink.

  Tuesday, May 14th, 1867