A Country of Our Own

by Karleen Bradford

  I am worried about Briney, but can do nothing about it.

  Friday, May 17th, 1867

  Still no news from Briney. I wonder how he is doing.

  Monday, May 20th, 1867

  Mister O’Grady and Kevin came by to deliver the water today. I rushed out to pepper them with questions about Briney, but Mister O’Grady stopped me in mid-rush.

  “Briney’s fine, Rosie,” he said. “He’s doing a good job at the mill. We’re all grateful to him for stepping in like the man that he is going to be.”

  Well, there was nothing I could say after that, was there, except to ask Mister O’Grady to send my good wishes to Briney. I couldn’t help adding that maybe, perhaps, Briney might find the time to come by and let me know how he was doing himself?

  At that, Mister O’Grady laughed and said he was sure Briney would be doing that as soon as he could.

  I must admit I blushed and then felt so foolish I had to hide myself back in the house while Kevin fetched in the water.

  Wednesday, May 22nd, 1867

  After dinner this evening, Mister Bradley called us all in, even Cook and James and Fanny, and told us a bit more about what is going to happen. He said that we should all know what momentous happenings are going on. I did particularly like that word momentous. It sounds so important. And, indeed, what is going on is important. Here is what he said. I paid strict attention and memorized his words as he said them.

  Mister Macdonald did bring back the British North America Act that gives us a constitution and makes us a country instead of a collection of British colonies. We will still owe allegiance to the Queen, of course. She has chosen her representative in British North America, Lord Monck, who was governor general of the Province of Canada, to be governor general of the new country. He has appointed Mister Macdonald to be the country’s first prime minister.

  With the birth of the Dominion of Canada (the governor general’s very words — the Dominion of Canada — I am writing them big and bold), the two parts of the Province of Canada, Canada East and Canada West, will become two separate provinces, known as Québec and Ontario. We will be in Ontario, Mam and Da will be in Québec. The Provinces of New Brunswick and Nova Scotia will be included in the new country, and Mister Bradley says it is only a matter of time before Prince Edward Island joins in. What a proud thing that will be!

  He is not so certain about Newfoundland, though, and as he said before, the colony of British Columbia is much too far away to be included.

  All this will come into being formally on July 1st, and there is to be a grand celebration on that day. Now that it is actually happening, and I have no more worries about losing my family, I can hardly wait!

  Thursday, May 23rd, 1867

  I planted Mary Margaret’s lobelia seedlings today beside the front doorway. Cook and I started planting the kitchen garden as well. The weather has been fine, with just enough rain to encourage everything to grow. If we can keep that clumsy dog from trampling the plants, of course.

  Saturday, May 25th, 1867

  Briney came round today and we walked down to the canal to watch the boats locking through. The first thing I did was apologize for being so hard on him for working at the mill. I told him I now understood better that he has to do it.

  He told me that Thomas is not doing well at all. His leg was crushed as well as broken, and the doctor does not hold out much hope that he will ever be able to walk properly again. That means that Briney definitely will be working at the mill permanently. I almost burst out with a protest to that, but managed to shut my mouth firmly and hold my tongue.

  We have to do what we have to do, and it’s not always to our liking.

  Mister Jim Fleming is the lockmaster at the canal, and he came over to talk to us when he saw us watching the boats. He and his family live in a very nice house up at Chaffey’s Lock and he makes the rounds checking the other locks every day. He talked to us for ages, telling us all about the history of the canal, until a boat horn sounded and he had to go and lock the boat through.

  I never knew that so many people died during the building of the canal. Conditions were even worse then than they are today — hard to imagine, but true. And, as well, there was an outbreak of a disease called malaria that killed hundreds of people. It must have been dreadful.

  Mister Fleming told us that the locks aren’t as busy as they used to be, because of all the new canals on the St. Lawrence River, but it still looked busy to me. While we were there we saw tugs towing two or three barges — one tug was even towing four barges. There were several sailing scows that Mister Fleming told us were carrying all sorts of goods and foodstuffs. They used to bring the big lumber rafts through here too, Mister Fleming said, although we did not see any today.

  What we did see was a huge passenger steamer which was as big as the steamer we took to Cacouna. It was coming up from Kingston to Ottawa. It had a lovely musical steam whistle that I’m sure could be heard for miles. The decks were crowded with people, all waving and laughing. I waved back, although Briney was too shy to do so. It was amazing to see it so close up there beside us. I could have reached out and touched the people on the deck as Mister Fleming let the water out of the lock and the boat went down.

  All in all, we spent the entire afternoon there. I have not enjoyed a day so much in a long time.

  Monday, May 27th, 1867

  Mister Bradley said something tonight that got me thinking about a matter that I’ve never thought of before. He was annoyed because the Indians are requesting compensation for the land that was taken from them and given to European settlers. Mister Bradley thinks they should be satisfied with the land they were given for a reserve at Maniwaki on the Gatineau River.

  Did they once really own all this land? Seems to me that if they did, a reserve would hardly make up for losing it. I asked if they were paid anything for it and Mister Bradley looked at me as if I were daft.

  “Of course not,” he said. “They didn’t really own the land. They just lived here.”

  Thursday, May 30th, 1867

  Missus Bradley went shopping today and took me along to carry her purchases, as usual. She wanted to buy a new hat, among other things.

  We went to a store where they sold hats and I wondered how Missus Bradley would ever be able to choose. There were hats of every description there, beribboned, festooned with silk flowers, some with wide brims, some with narrow brims, straw, felt … I could write pages of descriptions of them all.

  Missus Bradley tried on at least ten. She was having as lovely a time choosing as I was watching. Finally she made her decision, and I think she chose the most beautiful hat of all. It has a narrow, grey felt brim, and is piled high on top with a profusion of lilac flowers and soft green leaves, all made of silk. When she tried it on, it fair took my breath away, it did.

  Then she decided she must have a new scarf to go with it. Clouds, the ladies here call their scarves, and clouds they look like. She chose a silvery grey one made of the lightest possible wool. It just drifted around her shoulders and matched the hat wonderfully. I was laden down with packages by the time we started for home.

  Friday, May 31st, 1867

  The weather is so fine, Mister and Missus Bradley are planning a picnic up into the Chelsea Hills tomorrow. Fanny is not well, so I am to go to take care of baby Jonathan. Needless to say, I am happy about that, although sorry that Fanny is ill. She is right miserable. Not even Fanny deserves to feel that horrible.

  Cook is busy preparing a huge hamper of food and we shall not starve.

  June 1867

  Saturday, June 1st, 1867

  The picnic was delightful, but the day most certainly did not go as planned, and I have the bumps and bruises to show for it.

  Mister Bradley had arranged to meet up with Mister and Missus Forrester, and to my delight they brought Bessie with them to help out. They had their own horse and trap and followed along behind us.

  Missus Bradley wished to drive the horse an
d Mister Bradley sat up beside her, beaming. He is so proud of her driving ability.

  She looked grand with her new hat and her lovely cloud billowing around her shoulders in the wind. Bessie told me later that Mister Forrester thought it a bit of a scandal that Missus Bradley drove. He thought she drove too fast. I did not, but in light of what happened, I am sure he thinks he was right.

  I sat in the back of the trap with Jonathan in my arms. He’s a happy baby and so bright. He was looking at everything and I could tell he was taking it all in. All smiles he was too. I think he was as happy to be with me as I was with him.

  We drove up into the hills and found a spot to lay out the blankets where we could look down over the valley to the Ottawa River winding below. There was a bit of a breeze to help drive off those horrible little biting black flies, but we still kept baby Jonathan well covered. Cook had given us catmint oil to rub on our hands and necks. It helped a bit to repel the insects, but I must wash it off before I see Sophie and her kittens. It will drive them wild.

  The kittens are almost old enough to go to their new homes now. I have found homes for them all, but they are so sweet and such fun to have around, I shall miss them.

  The trees are all out in leaf now and there was a soft green bloom to the whole scene. I’ve never seen a lovelier sight. Cook had made a feast. Missus Bradley took Jonathan while I unpacked the hampers and laid it out.

  There were slices of cooked ham and fresh bread, still warm. Some roasted chicken and a poultry pie. As if that weren’t enough, Missus Forrester brought several packets of dainty sandwiches such as are usually served for tea. She also brought tarts for dessert and coconut patties — favourites of mine, but hard to come by because of the coconut. Missus Forrester had bought a packet of it when she was in Québec. Our Cook had made Victoria cakes and molasses cookies. (I like the Victoria cakes, and even helped make them, but I am not too fond of molasses. I would put the recipe down for the Victoria cakes, but I’m too tired to remember it. They are good, though, and I have one sitting here by my bed as I write.)

  Missus Forrester brought raspberry vinegar mixed with water to drink.

  Cook had also packed a small kerosene burner so that we could boil water for tea. Bessie and I were sent to find a spring to fill the kettle and it did not take us long to do so. The water poured out of a crack in the hillside and was so fresh and cold we drank our fill of it as well as filling the kettle.

  Bessie and I were allowed to choose what we wanted from the lovely assortment of good things to eat, then we took the baby and went over to sit under a tree out of the sun, to eat until it was time to clear up.

  It was all as grand as could be … but then we headed back home.

  All was going well until we got near the bottom of the hill. At that point a whole pack of dogs suddenly raced out of the bush and startled our horse. The horse panicked and bolted. Missus Bradley is a good driver, but even so she lost control for a moment. Before she could get the horse back under control, one wheel slipped off the path into the ditch. It was the wheel on the side where I was sitting holding baby Jonathan.

  The wheel broke. The whole trap tilted and before I knew what was happening, the babe and I were thrown out.

  All I could think of was to hold the babe tight and not let go of him, so I could not put out a hand to break my fall. I fell hard into the ditch, but fortunately on my side, and rolled onto my back, still holding tight to Jonathan. I came to rest facing up to the sky. For a moment I just lay there, staring at the clouds and wondering what had happened and where I was. I vaguely remember Missus Bradley screaming.

  The next thing I remember is Mister Bradley leaning over me and taking the babe from my arms. Jonathan was not even crying. So wrapped up he was, I don’t think he even felt a bump, and didn’t he just give me the biggest smile ever.

  Mister Bradley gave the babe to Missus Bradley, who leaped off the pony trap to see to him, then he helped me up. I was in a right state. The Forresters stopped behind us and Mister Forrester drove the dogs off with his horse whip. Missus Forrester and Bessie helped me into their cart and sat me down. Everyone made such a fuss over me, I was more embarrassed by all the attention than hurt. Mister Bradley stayed with our cart, while the Forresters drove Missus Bradley, baby Jonathan and me back home.

  I am being hailed as a hero again and made much of. Missus Bradley was in a flurry and full of apologies, as if the accident had been her fault, which it certainly was not. In any case, she insisted that I take to my bed as soon as we got home. She had Cook bring me hot soup and a few Victoria cakes, but I was still so upset that I could not face the thought of soup or any other food.

  I do not think I did anything heroic. I just hung on to Jonathan, but I do ache in just about every bone of my body.

  I might just manage one Victoria cake now, though.

  Monday, June 3rd, 1867

  Fanny is so ill that Missus Bradley has allowed her to go home to her mother. That means that I am nursemaid again. I’m delighted about that, as I love that wee baby so.

  Thursday, June 6th, 1867

  Something dreadful has happened.

  I was called into the parlour this morning to find both Mister and Missus Bradley there. They were looking very grim.

  “We have a problem, Rosie,” Mister Bradley said. “A very valuable bracelet of Missus Bradley’s has gone missing.”

  My heart sank down to my boots. Surely they were not accusing me of taking it!

  They weren’t, not in so many words, but I was sure that there was a certain amount of suspicion. I hotly denied knowing anything about it and, I’m embarrassed to say, I burst into tears. Missus Bradley was quick to comfort me, but there was a certain restraint to her words. She and Mister Bradley have been so kind to me. Now I’m afraid that this has cast a shadow over everything. They certainly didn’t seem the same as usual.

  They let me go, finally, and I escaped to the kitchen, only to find James and Cook sitting at the table. James was quick to look me up and down with a sneer.

  “You’d better come clean, my girl,” he said. “That was a costly bracelet. They’ll find you out if you took it, you can be sure of that.”

  I cried even harder, but didn’t Cook get up and put her arm around me.

  “Leave the girl alone,” she said. “If Rosie says she didn’t take it, then she didn’t. I know if a girl is a liar and a thief or not, and Rosie certainly is not.”

  James just lifted an eyebrow and sauntered out of the room.

  Monday, June 10th, 1867

  I have not been accused of the theft, but the bracelet has not been found.

  Wednesday, June 12th, 1867

  Nothing more is being said about the bracelet, but there is an uncomfortable feeling between Missus Bradley and myself that did not exist before.

  James cannot look at me without a knowing sneer on his face.

  I do not know how long I can stand this.

  Friday, June 14th, 1867

  There is talk of nothing now but the celebration on the 1st of July, when we will be officially proclaimed the Dominion of Canada. But I am so upset about the missing bracelet that I cannot bring myself to be much interested in it at all anymore.

  Saturday, June 15th, 1867

  News came today that poor Fanny has died from the influenza. Missus Bradley is so upset that the business of the bracelet seems to have been forgotten.

  It has not been forgotten by me, however. I feel there is a shadow hanging over me and I am sick about it. And it most certainly has not been forgotten by James. He takes every opportunity to make it clear that he, at least, believes me to be a thief.

  A nasty thought has crept into my head. What if Fanny stole the bracelet and now she is dead? No one will ever know the truth of it.

  Oh, I cannot bear this — I have to get away from here!

  I haven’t sent my wages home for this month yet …

  I’ve decided that I’m going to bundle my few possessions up righ
t now and slip out early tomorrow morning before anyone is up. I will buy a train ticket and be out of here and home within three days.

  There’s nothing else to be done.

  Sunday, June 16th, 1867

  I did not go.

  I was ready to go as soon as everyone else had left for church. I even got as far as the door. Then I stopped.

  I thought about Mam and Da’s faces when I walked in. What would they think of me, running away like that? What kind of an example would I set for the little ones? And what would Mary Margaret think? She would be disappointed to death with me.

  I stuffed my things back in the little chest in my room where I keep them, and sank back down onto my bed. I could not help weeping, but I did not go.

  Still, I am heartsick. To think that I must live in a house where I am suspected of being a thief!

  Monday, June 24th, 1867

  Life goes on. Da always used to say that, but I never knew the truth of it until now. I know I have done the right thing by staying and not running away. Somehow or other I have to get through this, but it is hard.

  Tuesday, June 25th, 1867

  I told Briney today about what happened. I didn’t mean to tell him about almost running away, but that came out too. I was astonished at how angry he got.

  First of all, he was furious that anyone suspected me of stealing.

  “How could anyone think that!” he cried. I think he would have charged into the parlour and taken the Bradleys to task that very moment if I hadn’t grabbed onto him.

  Then he was furious with me for even thinking of leaving.

  “What of me?” he demanded. “Did you not think of how I would feel if you had gone?”

  I was so stunned by that, I couldn’t answer. Would it really have mattered that much to him?

  Then I began to think about how I would have felt when I had come to my senses and realized what I had done — and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

  Wednesday, June 26th, 1867

  The dog has done something good. I took baby Jonathan out in his perambulator today for a walk. Went all the way to the canal and watched the boats for a while, then started back. The weather was lovely and warm and he was enjoying the fresh air. It’s a blessing to get away from the putrid air in this house and must be good for him. I could almost enjoy it too.