Forever Changed (The Mystic Wolves)

by Belinda Boring

  “What is it?” I’d seen that look before and it never meant anything good.

  “I just don’t want to give you false hope. Any of you. What’s happened is extremely serious and . . .” She stopped mid-sentence, as if readying us for the bombshell she was about to drop.

  “And?” Mason and Devlin asked, together.

  “If it doesn’t work, you’ll all need to prepare for the worst.”

  “Which is?” It was me, now, who became impatient.

  “If we can’t restore your magic, and your spirit doesn’t balance out, there’s a very good chance you’ll . . .”

  “For goodness sake, spit it out!” Mason exclaimed, unable to curb his frustration. He could see this was difficult for her, for everyone; but I’d already guessed what she didn’t want to admit.

  “I’ll die. Won’t I?”

  “Yes.”

  “Like hell!” Mason roared.

  “Not going to happen,” Devlin said at the same time.

  I tuned out everyone’s responses, my heart already knowing the truth.

  By killing Julian, I’d signed my own death warrant.

  Chapter 23

  I slept fitfully through the night, dreams plaguing me. My fear of dying wouldn’t release me long enough to relax. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the possibility that I could actually die, my heart busy with its own source of denial. I’d gone through so much, fighting to secure my future with Mason. It seemed too cruel that now, when we’d finally been mated, I was going to be ripped away from him. I was tired of having my hard earned security threatened; but it was difficult to keep the helpless feelings at bay.

  This was beyond my control. It was yet another moment where I had to trust that everything would work out the way it was meant to. I needed to believe that regardless of the outcome, Mason and I would still be together. The whole situation weighed heavily on my spirit. In hindsight, it made Julian seem like a small blip on the radar compared to this greater danger.

  Waking up in the morning, I found Mason’s side of the bed empty. There was a small note in his messy scribble saying he’d be back and Vivien would be over at noon. He said that there were a few things that he wanted to get, in hopes that it would make today’s event run more smoothly. I knew it must have killed him to leave my side; but it was good he had something else to focus on, other than the dark cloud of uncertainty hanging over us.

  By tonight, we’d know for sure. Suddenly, there didn’t seem to be enough time. A silent ticking in my head reminded me that precious seconds were passing by that I would never be able to reclaim. Groaning out aloud over my morbid thoughts, I attempted to sit up. I needed to use the restroom and I refused to spend what might be my last day in bed.

  “Let me help you.” A familiar voice broke through my weary concentration.

  “Vlad!” I smiled, happy to see him. “Or should I say cousin?”

  He didn’t bother to hide the roll of his eyes as he chuckled. “Tell me you were angry at our dear uncle when he told you his little secret.”

  “Mason punched him, and then fought him outside.” This surprising visit was just what I needed. Vlad always made me laugh with his antics and the things he said. I’d never met anyone so confused over their identity before and, sure enough, he’d adopted a new look. He was dressed in tight, black leather pants, with the same colored t-shirt. His hair was slicked back with product and sunglasses were propped on top of his head. He was a complete mess when it came to deciding who he was, but I loved him anyway. Even though it would have mortified him to know, I thought he was absolutely adorable. Clueless and harmless.

  “Damn, why wasn’t I called? I would’ve paid money to watch Devlin get his ass delivered to him, true?”

  “True?” It took everything I had not to snicker. Vlad had read the J.R. Ward book I’d left out for him in Devlin’s study when I’d gone to stay with them.

  “It’s the same as saying ‘yeah’, Darcy.” He chatted, clearly thinking I needed to be educated on all things Black Dagger Brotherhood related.

  “Ahhh, good to know.” I let out a sigh, knowing what I was going to say next might be embarrassing for both of us; but it couldn’t be avoided. “Umm, not to change the subject, but can you help me to the bathroom?” The minute I asked, my face blushed. His did, too.

  “Suuurre.” He drew his answer out. “Do I need to, umm, carry you or something?”

  “I’ll be fine to walk. I might need to lean on you, though. I still feel weak.” Sleep had given me a little energy, but I didn’t want to deplete it all with this small task. I was hoping once I was done, Vlad could assist me in gathering the others.

  Offering me his arm, it took a few minutes to get securely on my feet, and a few more to take short, steady steps to the bathroom. “I think I’ve got it from here. Thanks.” We both released a large sigh of relief when I closed the door, left alone to take care of my business.

  “Just holler if you need me,” Vlad called from the other room. I was already feeling tired, but I was adamant I could do this myself.

  Ten minutes later, I turned the handle and smiled. “Okay, all done.” A sudden wave of dizziness hit me, the ground seeming to dip below me.

  “Whoa, you overdid it!” Vlad rushed over and scooped me up into his arms. I was surprised and I shook my head, reminding myself that appearances were sometimes deceiving. He might not have the same build as Mason or Devlin, but he was still a vampire, which gave him beyond human strength. “I was given strict orders to make sure you were safe. I’m going to be pissed if you get me in trouble, feel me?”

  As he gently placed me back on my bed, dragging the covers over me, I burst into laughter; the sound lightening the weight that had settled over my heart. “I love you, Vlad. Thanks for coming to sit with me this morning.”

  His brows wrinkled, clearly unsure what had sparked my sudden outburst. “What did I do?”

  “You were just being you.”

  “And that was funny?” His confusion was merely masking a layer of hurt.

  “No. You make me smile and, today of all days, I desperately needed it. That’s all.”

  He broke out into a grin. “Then, good. But please, I was being serious. Devlin already threatened me with bodily harm if he came back and you were sicker.”

  “Don’t you worry about him. I’ll tell him you took good care of me.”

  “True?”

  “True.” I winked. “So tell me what you’ve been up to since I last saw you?”

  Excited to have someone to talk to, Vlad eagerly began chatting, sharing all the gossip he’d been gathering. There was no “doom and gloom” musings, no worrying about what could go wrong with Vivien’s spell, or fear about leaving those I loved. It was simply two friends catching up. Our uplifting mood greeted Mason when he returned an hour later.

  ****

  I didn’t know how I felt about being back in the garden after everything that had happened there. I tried not to look at the spot where Christina died trying to save me. Nor did I glance at where Julian had been destroyed. Vivien and the coven would be performing the spell because they were concerned that driving me to her house might undo the small progress I’d made in restoring my strength. I could see the common sense in the decision; but it didn’t mean I had to like the painful reminder of the battle.

  “It’s good to see you with a little color in your cheeks.” Vivien smiled, helping me as Mason let me down from his arms. He’d refused to let me walk, insisting it was no big deal for him to carry me. I think it helped ease his own worry, knowing he was helping; so I didn’t give him a hard time. I gave Vivien a brief hug and gratefully sat down in the chair Devlin had brought outside for me. I wasn’t fooling anyone. I was still weak and, depending on how extensive this ritual was, there was no need to pretend that I wasn’t already tired. I thanked Devlin, who helped seat me, making sure I wouldn’t topple over when he let go.

  “Hopefully after this, I’ll keep getting better.” There w
as a forced optimism in my voice. Fake it ‘til you make it. That attitude had worked wonders for me before; and now seemed like the perfect slogan to adopt. “So, just tell me where you need me and let’s get started.”

  I didn’t look at Mason, even though I could feel his eyes boring into me. His mind was tugging on mine through our connection, but I ignored that, too. If I so much as peeked at him, I knew I’d fall apart; and this wasn’t the time to have a meltdown. Bravery was what the situation called for. Courage in the face of the unknown. I needed to be strong for him, for my family, for myself, and the Pack.

  The coven came forward and surrounded the makeshift pentagram someone had designed out of tree branches. Candles were placed at each point, crystals of every color and size resting beside them. Nervousness buzzed through me along with a healthy dose of apprehension as I focused on the center of the diagram. It surprised me that after everything I’d faced, I couldn’t maintain the same determination to survive. My wolf nipped at my spirit, indicating she didn’t approve of my pessimism, either. She fully believed another way would be found if this attempt failed. Straightening my back and shrouding myself in gritty resolve, I willed myself to see this through. I would prove that I could face this challenge like I’d done with all the others. I looked over at Mason, finally, and smiled.

  I wasn’t ready to die. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

  “Darcy, there’s nothing you need to do, honey. I’ll recite the words and invoke the magic needed. When it’s over, you should begin to feel better.”

  “Okay.” I closed my eyes and steadied my breathing. I didn’t know what to expect, but my wolf was alert. If needed, she would take over, shifting to make sure I didn’t suffer.

  I could hear Vivien move about, getting into position. Someone coughed, maybe Devlin. A soft layer of love blanketed over me.

  You promised me forever, sweetheart. I’ll be holding you to that.

  I love you. This will work. I hoped he believed me.

  I love you, too. So much. You are my entire world, Darcy. I won’t let you go. His voice faded away as chanting filled the air. Magic rippled around me as the coven’s combined power joined with Vivien’s.

  Blessed Goddess, Mother to all,

  Here my plea, my petition, my call.

  With heavy heart and humble heart,

  Your love and glory I wish you’d impart.

  Before you comes your daughter dear,

  Her magic gone, mind filled with fear.

  Free her from pain, replace her power.

  Grant my favor this very hour.

  Restore her gifts, renew what was lost

  Remove the darkness, whatever the cost.

  With purest of intent, a witch once again,

  To practice her craft and bless without end.

  Take what you need; the price will be paid,

  The conditions for your mercy obeyed.

  Please, blessed Mother, in this I so ask

  By earth, air, fire, water, and spirit,

  So mote it be.

  So mote it be.

  The candle flames flared before extinguishing and the crystals emitted an eerie glow that slowly went out. Coven members sagged, as their magic was released by the spell; and still, I waited to feeling something—anything.

  Last time there had been pain. Last time my body had reacted, forcing my wolf to come forward. I expected to feel that familiar pulse of life and the excitement my powers had given me. I entertained the idea that maybe with my witch nature being restored rather than bound, it might feel different. Despite all my worrying, I had faith that Vivien would perform a miracle. In my mind’s eye, I should’ve been smiling by now, my body beginning to heal as it balanced out.

  But I wasn’t. Nothing had changed. There was still a hole in my spirit and I couldn’t stop the tears from spilling.

  “No?” Vivien asked, not really needing an answer. My crying said it all. Shaking my head, she looked crestfallen. “There has to be something.”

  Mason broke through the line of coven members, stepping over the branches to reach me. “Are you sure? Is it just because it’s so new and small that you don’t recognize it?” Testing for himself, I felt him enter my mind, fully searching for any hint of magic. I didn’t have the heart to tell him his exploring was pointless. I’d paid close attention while Vivien was reciting the incantation and there’d been no internal reaction.

  “I don’t accept this!” He thundered, holding me in his arms. “Fix this now. I order you to fix this!” His voice sounded strangled, as his own tears streamed down his cheeks. “I don’t care what you have to do, who you have to bring in. I refuse to believe this is the only answer.”

  I couldn’t speak. I didn’t trust myself to not fall apart, especially when Mason could barely keep himself together.

  “Vivien?” Devlin softly asked, his words sounding strained.

  “I don’t know. I don’t think so. I worried this might happen, so I called Helena. I talked to everyone I knew. I researched as best I could and found nothing.” I hated hearing how distraught she was. “I wish I knew what to do!”

  “Find Morgan,” Mason thundered. His order caused everyone to gasp, me included. If there was one thing Mason was known for, it was his sense of justice and belief in playing by the rules. She was the witch responsible for Amber using magic against us, selling her spells for money, not caring that her abilities hurt innocent people. By mentioning Morgan, it meant he was entertaining the idea of using black magic. It was further proof of how desperate he had become.

  “Mason, no. You don’t want that.”

  “Don’t tell me what I want! I don’t want my wife to die, but you’re telling me there’s no saving her. If you’re not able to, don’t you dare try and stop me from finding someone who can.”

  “I understand your fear, but this is not the way to do it. Black magic is called that for a reason. There are horrible consequences when you evoke that kind of darkness. Some prices are too high, Mason. Please, trust me on this.” Vivien knelt down beside us, her impassioned plead etched across her face. “Please.”

  “I can’t lose her. I can’t.” With those final two words, Mason broke down completely, sobs wracking his body as he held on to me for dear life.

  “There may be something. It’s just as dangerous and taboo. There are some steep consequences to consider with this, too, but it doesn’t involve bartering with your soul.” Devlin’s interruption stilled Mason, piquing my own interest.

  “If you’re trying to spare my feelings by feeding me false hope, I’d think very carefully right now, Devlin.”

  “What are you saying?” I asked, trying to smooth over the situation.

  “No, Devlin.” Vivien shook her head. “What you’re suggesting is forbidden.”

  “Not if Zane consents.”

  “Zane?” I was beginning to feel overwhelmed again with all these powerful names being thrown around.

  “Bear with me, okay? It’s just an idea and it might not even work. The problem with you is that you destroyed your witch nature when you fought Julian. Your inability to completely heal is because there’s an imbalance. Your body and spirit can’t right itself, because a part of you is missing.”

  “Yes.” So far he hadn’t said anything new.

  “We assumed we could just use magic to restore your nature; but I’m thinking it didn’t work because there’s nothing for it to latch onto, so to speak. Not only did your powers burn out, but also the force and your determination decimated anything magic related. It doesn’t matter how many spells Vivien, or even Morgan, perform, it has nothing to build upon so it won’t stick.”

  “And your point?” Mason growled, his patience slowly slipping out of his grasp.

  “Darcy was born with two natures. Until she’s restored to that state, she’ll keep growing weaker until, eventually, her body won’t be able to withstand the strain. She will die and we won’t be able to prevent it.”

  “Unless I recei
ve a second nature?”

  “Yes. I don’t see any other way to avoid the path you’re on.”

  “But, what do we replace it with. We’ve already ruled out being a witch.” The answer suddenly hit Mason, his eyes widened as he gaped at Devlin, then turned to look at me. “Surely you’re not saying . . .”

  My mind reeled. He was; and Vivien was right, it was totally forbidden.

  “Yes. To save Darcy, she needs to become a vampire.”

  Chapter 24

  We’d been locked in a heated argument for hours—ever since Devlin had suggested the solution to my dying was turning me into a vampire. If I understood the process, I would still be a werewolf; but with the added hunger, prowess, and strength of a bloodsucker. But, that wasn’t what upset everyone. It was the fact that by attempting the conversion, I could still die; or worse, be reduced to nothing more than insane animal.

  “There’s a reason why it’s forbidden, Mason. Two predator natures can’t reside within the same person, not without grave consequences,” Vivien argued. She was the most vocal out of the three, who seemed to go round and round in circles over the matter. Mason saw it as the way to save me, and Devlin flipped flopped back and forth. One moment he appeared to be all about trying it and then, a second later, he was opposed to it.

  No one had asked my opinion or whether I was open to the idea or not. Zane had been called and was on his way over and they’d carried me into the office, creating a makeshift bed on the couch. Snuggled under a thick blanket and propped up by soft pillows, I let them argue it out. There was no point joining the conversation until I knew how Zane ruled. Devlin had explained the decision rested totally with the Vampire King, as he was the only one permitted to attempt such a taboo procedure.

  “But, if anyone can conquer and master them both, it’s Darcy. She won’t be alone. She has us, and she’ll be fine. You’re worried for no reason!” Mason countered, dragging his fingers through his hair for the hundredth time.