Forever Changed (The Mystic Wolves)

by Belinda Boring

  “No reason? Do I need to remind you what happened before Zane outlawed this type of turning without special approval? You weren’t there to witness the madness and slaughter from fools who thought the extra power made them invincible. There was no one to govern over them, to keep them on a tight leash, and their savagery still haunts those who were young enough to remember.” From her vantage point at the desk, Vivien’s expression wasn’t without compassion, as she wrung her hands in front of her. “Please don’t think this doesn’t break my heart. It does. I just don’t think this is the answer.”

  “But you said it yourself, they didn’t have anyone to guide them, and I’ve heard those stories. Yes, some didn’t survive the conversion; but there were a few who did. They lived and overcame the challenges that came with the dueling natures. It only takes one percent for a miracle. Stop focusing on the ninety-nine. Tell me you believe it’ll work. Together we can help her.”

  Devlin rubbed his face in weary frustration. “Of course I want it to work, but I can’t ignore the risk. Are you ready to lose her if it fails?”

  “I’m going to lose her if we don’t do something.” My heart broke hearing his anguish. There was an underlying panic in his tone, something I wasn’t used to. Mason was normally so calm, even under pressure. This was testing his very limits—my death was unacceptable to him.

  “Are you willing to put her to death if she survives, only to become insane? Will you do the act yourself? Or will you force someone else who loves her to do it? This is hard on everyone, Mason. It’s not so simple.”

  “Why are you focusing on the negative? Stop giving me all the reasons why it won’t work and start providing answers. If this is so abhorrent, then summon Morgan and we’ll take the black magic route,” Mason fired back. When Vivien blanched, visibly flinching, he barked out a bitter laugh. “I thought so. It’s one or the other. Whether you like it or not.”

  “Mason . . .” I softly spoke, needing the heated temperature of the conversation diffused. Emotions were high and anxiety was riding everybody. The last thing I wanted was for words to be said that couldn’t be taken back. Anger wasn’t helping the situation and could only end up hurting it, it along with cherished friendships. But, it didn’t matter. He was beyond hearing, totally focused on convincing Devlin to agree with him. “Maybe we should wait until Zane gets here. Save your arguments for him.”

  “I’m here, young Darcy.” Even though he appeared like any regular man in his late twenties, Zane held himself like the regal king he was. His very presence demanded respect, his authority displayed in everything he did. Closing the door gently behind him, he was alone—his guards, no doubt, posted outside. Even though he was powerful and could handle any threat to his safety, security was always provided. As lead Enforcer and close friend, Devlin insisted on it at all times.

  Crossing the room, he knelt down beside me, ignoring everyone else for the moment as he took my hand. “It grieves me to hear you’re so unwell. When I received the call you needed to speak with me, it was my honor to come. Tell me, how can I help?” Custom usually dictated that any petitioners of the King were to come to his home; but, with me being so weak, there was concern about traveling.

  “How much did Devlin tell you?” I asked, putting my hand up to silence the others as they began to speak all at once.

  “He said that you faced Julian and, as a result, your magic was destroyed.”

  “Did he also add that because of that, I’m dying?” Acknowledging it out loud sounded foreign.

  Zane’s eyes briefly closed as he nodded. “He did. Is that why I’m here? To possibly help find a way to save you?” He finally glanced around at the solemn faces of everyone.

  “Tell him what you suggested.” Vivien prompted Devlin, waving her arm to show he had the floor.

  “The problem is Darcy is dual natured; and unless we can provide her that second one, she’ll continue to weaken until it’s too late.” Zane’s instant response indicated just how smart he was. His lips parted to speak, but Devlin kept going. “I mentioned the possibility of turning her into a vampire as a solution.”

  “Are you crazy?” Zane’s eyebrows shot up as he stared at his trusted advisor and friend with surprise. “You are the last person I thought would ever speak of the practice. I remember you adamantly opposing it when we had the last outbreak of ‘monsters.’ Yes, I believe that was the term you used.”

  “I know; and believe me, it’s not something that I broach lightly. I’m still not sure how I feel about it, either.”

  “How about you, Mason? I’m sure you’re aware of the risks involved.” Zane turned to face him, studying the way Mason’s composure was restrained by a fine thread of control.

  “I’ve heard them, but choose to focus on the positive.”

  “What you’re asking of me is highly controversial. You are asking me to grant permission, aren’t you? Since ruling against it, there have been very few, special cases where I’ve deemed the consequences worth ignoring.”

  “I know. And I’m sorry to put you in this position, Zane, but . . .” Mason’s voice broke, his ability to hold back the tide of his emotions crumbling. “I’m not asking you this as Alpha. This has nothing to do with loyalty, or leadership, or our friendship. I’m begging you, as a man who can barely breathe for fear of losing his beloved mate, please. She’s my whole world.” Tears fell down his stubbled cheeks and he made no attempt to wipe them away. “I can’t lose her. This is me, a man in love and on the verge of losing everything that means anything to me, asking you to have hope and say yes. Risks are worth taking when the results of not acting are too unbearable.”

  A large lump formed in my throat, my heart threatening to splinter into pieces.

  Zane didn’t speak for the longest time, the heavy burden of this decision weighing hard on his sense of responsibility. He rubbed his chin back and forth; one of his habits when debating something important and the air in the room took on an almost oppressive feel. There was so much riding on this one man’s verdict. I didn’t envy Zane because, even though I knew he always ruled with impartiality, he knew and loved me. Our friendship was inevitably factored into the situation. It was as if he’d been asked to sentence a family member to death.

  “And I assume you disagree, Vivien?” He finally spoke as he lifted up from beside me and walked around to sit behind Mason’s desk. Something told me his decision to move was another subconscious quirk—that a judgment of this significance deserved to be made in such a location. I’d seen Mason do the same thing as Alpha. It must be something about sensing an outward image should correspond with how they saw themselves ruling over their people, and that decisions seemed more official when made sitting at a desk.

  “I do. I love Darcy like she was my own daughter. I’ve watched her grow, helped to nurture her, guarding her from harm. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep her safe and healthy; but this . . . this breaches a line that I just don’t feel right about crossing. Yes, Mason’s right. The conversion could be successful and with our support, she might master herself. But what if she doesn’t? Someone has to be realistic here. What if she’s reduced to nothing but a violent, savage beast without conscience, morality, or her humanity? By trying to save her, we would simply be condemning her to something worse.”

  Zane released a sorrowful sigh. “The more I think on this matter, the more I see this as a choice between two things—ruling with the feelings of my heart, or listening to the logic my mind whispers. You both present valid and convincing arguments. This isn’t something to be taken lightly. The repercussions of either will have long lasting effects.” Leaning back in this chair, he rested his elbow on the armrest, tapping his finger against his lips. “I’m torn. I feel whichever way I rule, the margin for error is too high.”

  “I understand, my liege,” Devlin added, inclining his head with respect. “You can now see why I’m still on the fence about this. It pains me that after everything I’ve sacrificed to protect
my family and niece, this is how it could end. I didn’t foresee this as ever being a possibility. I would never wish this on her, or on you, Mason. Her happiness has always come first; but I swear to you now, I won’t be able to bring myself to kill her should this backfire. But for that one thing, I would agree to attempt it.”

  “So, that is the only concern you have?” Zane asked, curious.

  “Other things worry me, but that is the major one. It prevents me from making up my mind. I have faith that should you say yes, you would be able to see her safely through the conversion process. With royal blood, you could afford her an advantage others didn’t have. With your position comes clarity. It would definitely help.”

  “If I agree, I wouldn’t be the one performing the ritual.” Zane’s admission caused everyone to stare.

  “But, you would give her the best chance of surviving,” Devlin stammered, his leader’s answer rattling him.

  “I’m not the only one here with royal blood in their veins.”

  I felt like I’d missed something. If what Zane had admitted was true, Devlin wasn’t a mere vampire, but someone of significance. “What?”

  Ignoring me, Devlin shook his head. “No. That’s not how it works. The king must perform it.” There was a warning glance exchanged between them.

  “Devlin . . .” Zane whispered, his voice dipping low and full of kind rebuke. “As I said, if I agree, you will be the one entrusted with the task.”

  “Please, don’t.” Something had obviously happened. I’d never seen Devlin refuse a request before. Mason and Vivien also looked on, confused.

  “It’s what’s right, my friend.”

  “Honestly, I don’t care which of you does it, as long as Darcy lives,” Mason interrupted, causing the two vampires to turn.

  “So, that’s the deciding factor, Darcy. It hasn’t escaped my attention that she’s been quiet through all this. What do you want?” All heads swiveled away from Zane as I became the center of attention.

  I swallowed thickly, nervous because I wasn’t completely convinced, either. “Honestly? I’m not sure. Both options scare me. No offense, but I don’t know if I’ll make a good vampire, whether I can adjust to drinking blood. I know it’ll become a somewhat natural instinct and, eventually, I’ll be okay. It just . . .” I struggled to find the right words to explain.

  “Don’t think I haven’t observed the idea of feeding repulses you.” Zane smiled, showing he understood.

  “That would be my fault.” Devlin’s confession threw me.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I worried that if someone drank your blood, they’d taste the magic we’d worked so hard to conceal. If someone discovered how powerful you would become, I was afraid they’d take you and exploit your abilities. There was also a fear it would lead Julian to you, as well. I never knew whether he’d teamed up with anyone. In fact, for a moment, I believed Avery was working with him. So I compelled you to find blood sharing repellant. I guess I did too good of a job. I couldn’t even get you to use my blood to heal yourself during the Heart and Death.”

  “That was you?” I’d always wondered why I’d felt so strongly against it.

  “In my defense, I did it to protect you.”

  “Can you remove it?” Zane asked. When Devlin nodded, Zane returned his focus to me. “Does knowing that make it easier for you?”

  “Kind of.” I knew I was hedging, but there was one more thing that stopped me from willingly agreeing with Mason. It was actually because of him, and the whole concept terrified me.

  “It’s okay to speak up. I need to know how you feel. As much as we love you, it will be you who must deal with any consequences.”

  I glanced quickly at Mason, resting my hand on his lower back cautiously. “I’m scared that if I do become crazed, it will put an unbearable burden on whoever has to destroy me. I can’t put that burden on someone else. I’m sorry, Mason. I can’t ask you to bear that responsibility.”

  “But the thought of you not being here, of me losing you, I’ll do whatever’s needed.”

  “Really? You agree to kill your mate if the situation warrants it?” Vivien prodded.

  He snarled, baring his teeth before regaining control. “How many times do I have to say I refuse to live without her?”

  “Mason, what you’re doing is selfish. Even Darcy has reservations.” It was the worst thing she could’ve said.

  “Leave before I remove you myself. Out of respect for your relationship with my wife, I’ll forget you had the audacity to accuse me of that.”

  “Honey.” Moving so the blanket fell to the floor, I shifted my body so I could carefully sit up better. “I’m scared; but if you promise me we’ll get through this, I’ll do it.”

  “Darcy!” Vivien exclaimed. It was Devlin who motioned for her to be silent.

  “Zane is right. This is my decision; so give me the space to make it. I’m telling you all how I feel—about the thoughts that are bouncing back and forth. I don’t want to die; but I don’t want to lose my humanity, either. I want to live. Knowing my aversion to blood will go away helps; but I can’t be the cause of more heartache to the ones I love. I’m scared. I’m terrified I’ll make the wrong choice, but most of all, I am so damn angry. I’ve done everything that’s been asked of me, faced whatever challenges and obstacles were placed in my way, and overcome it all. I’m not perfect, and I’ve definitely had my moments, but I didn’t come this far just to have it end. I want to grow old with my husband, have babies, watch them terrorize Devlin, and have everyone wrapped around their little fingers. I want to watch my children grow into strong, beautiful adults and see my pack grow as a family. I don’t want those who’ve opposed us to win. I’m angry as hell; so if I was to answer you right now, yes . . . I want to become a vampire, and whatever happens, I’ll deal with it like I’ve dealt with everything else. I’m done with being afraid. I just want my happily-ever-after.”

  No one said a word and I struggled to catch my breath. My impromptu speech had caught me by surprise. The more I spoke, the more adamant and determined I became. Bad things were always going to happen. Sometimes the options before me would be between two outcomes that were equally as bleak. But it didn’t matter in the end. Just like Mason had said, the alternative was too unbearable.

  “Then, I grant you permission.” Tears filled my eyes as Zane’s words registered. Mason didn’t speak; instead, he lifted me into his arms and kissed the side of my head, his body shaking with relief. There was a soft click of the door closing and a quick glance told me Vivien had left.

  “If that’s your ruling, I better go prepare.” Devlin’s face revealed nothing—a neutral mask slipping over his features as he bowed first to Zane, and then to me. “It should take me a few hours to have everything ready. Spend the rest of the night together . . . and I’ll come for you in the morning.” The ‘just in case’ didn’t need to be voiced, the thought was already circling in my mind.

  “Thank you,” Mason whispered, unable to let go of me. “And you, too, Zane.”

  “May the gods watch over us.” Zane smiled, his eyes still containing the sadness he felt.

  It would be okay. Now there was a plan. It would be just like every other time danger had surfaced.

  We’d kick its butt and send it packing.

  Hopefully.

  Chapter 25

  Mason quietly kicked the door closed behind him, his eyes never leaving my face, as though if he blinked, I’d be gone. There was no arguing with him when he gathered me up into his arms, refusing to let me walk the short distance to our bedroom. It was where we wanted to spend the remainder of our time together, shutting out the distractions of the world so we could be with each other.

  He carefully laid me down on the bed. Without a word, he removed my clothes so I would be comfortable, pulling the warm blanket over me to keep any chill out. His tenderness tore at my heart because I knew what he was thinking. I didn’t need our connection for it—everythin
g was written plainly across his features. He didn’t want to weaken me any further, hoping to give me the best chance at success when Devlin eventually returned and summoned me for the conversion.

  We didn’t talk about that, either. We didn’t really speak about anything, a solemn almost reverent feeling settled between us. The last time I’d experienced this kind of silence from him was the morning after Jasmine’s death. The sensation that my beloved husband was in turmoil, battling his own doubts and hopes, but chose not to share them, was overwhelming. I’m sure if I pushed, he’d open up and let me know how I could help relieve the heaviness in his heart; but I didn’t want to waste the few precious hours we might have left.

  Yes, we’d both accepted Zane’s judgment with positivity; but now, when all the excitement was over and the act would become an actuality, reality settled in. Those risks Mason fought to ignore, declaring he was more interested in believing everything would work out, they were no doubt creeping into his mind taunting him.

  “Hey,” I whispered, a faint smile over my lips. “Why are you so far away?”

  After making sure I was situated, I’d hoped he would lie down beside me; but he’d chosen to sit away from me instead. Sagging in the chair with his elbow propping his head, Mason simply watched me. I didn’t know what he was expecting, but the distance between us was unacceptable.

  “You need to sleep, sweetheart. We don’t know how taxing the conversion will be. The more strength you have, the better.” His voice was gravelly, filled with exhaustion.

  “There’ll be plenty of time for sleep. This is not how I want to spend these next few hours, Mason. Please, come here.” I patted the space beside me, his side of the bed, and didn’t stop until he finally relented. I understood he meant well, but what I needed more than anything was the warm press of his body against mine, his arms around me. If ever I needed his grounding influence, it was now. “Make sure you’re comfortable, as well.”