Blood Rose

by Jacquelynn Gagne

  “Bloody... very, very bloody. Anymore than that I don’t really wanna say if it’s okay.” My body was still shaking but it was a faint steady tremor.

  Damien’s hands seemed flustered before one balled into a fist as he let out a deep sigh. “Every night? For how long?” His brow was still furrowed as I looked up at him.

  “For a very long time.” My shoulders came up and slumped down in a shrug to mask the bone-chilling shudder.

  “No wonder you shake so much. Do you realize how much blood-” his voice trailed off, “How much do you sleep?” and then softened.

  “It feels like never. But I guess maybe four hours a night at best. Not so much in the last couple of weeks. Two hours. A good night three. Sometimes I don’t sleep at all.”

  Damien sighed as he laid his head back in the chair and gazing up on my ceiling. Sliding his hands around my stomach, he grabbed a piece of my shirt into each hand as they clenched into fists. Another shiver shook my body as I curled in closer to him. “Alright get up. Go get some warm clothes on already.” He lifted me up, setting me on my feet on the floor in one fluid movement without giving me time to argue.

  He stood too and walked to my window. Damien was pinching the bridge of his nose. He appeared to be muttering something to himself. I didn’t ask and could only assume he wanted to leave. At least I wanted to leave.

  Quickly, I went to my closet. Grabbing a new pair of black yoga pants and a black tank top, I walked to my bathroom to change as quickly as possible. I left my clothes in a pile on the bathroom floor atop another bloody towel.

  Damien had found the light switch and had shut the apartment door. He’d returned to stand and look out the window. Did that mean he was staying? I hated to hope. “Oops. Sorry ‘bout the light. I guess I forgot to flip it on for you. I’m just used to the dark.”

  Damien shrugged. He still looked frustrated though I saw his lips curl up into a dark humored smirk. “I’m not exactly afraid of the dark, Anna.”

  The room was filled with a thick awkwardness now. Damien watched me quietly for a long moment before turning his gaze on the mural sized canvas done in chalk.

  Not sure what else to do, I stood frozen in the middle of the room for a near minute before I went and sat on the edge of my bed. “So, now you know the extent of my abnormality for the most part.” Making myself shrug as if it were no big deal. Although in reality it was quite obvious as to how big of a deal it was.

  His shoulders came up in a shrug. “The lights are a nice touch.” Subject change. “And the floor décor.” His lips twisted a bit. He didn’t look down to follow my gaze to the scattered papers and abandoned chalks.

  Ah hell, I can’t catch a break with you can I? Sighing heavily I shrugged. It was like I’d given him pictures of my dreams. He knew more than enough now.

  Oops. Oh well.

  All I could do was nod and look around at my icicle lights dangling down every wall from the ceiling. “Bright lights give me really bad headaches. So I don’t use the overheads very often. Usually I just keep all the lights off. But I love these. They’re soft.”

  “Yes. Very warm. I like them. The art’s amazing though. Seriously. Is this supposed to be the tree of life? It’s quite stunning.” With his head, he motioned to the largest picture in the room. The one he’d been looking at before.

  “Yes it is. Thank you. It’s my favorite piece yet,” my voice was low. Sadder then I meant it to be.

  A perfectly detailed, elegantly peaceful landscape lit by the most brilliantly vivid red sunrise, lighting the world in a nearly pink glow. A lone tree stood strong. Wild limbs covered in small white and pink delicate flowers bearing a single piece of fruit. Petals lay upon the ground, some danced in an invisible wind. Its roots sprawling over and through the earth while the river of time winds never-ending alongside.

  “Anna, would you like for me to leave?” My eyes narrowed as he stared at me with an unfathomable expression.

  “I would like a lot of things but your leaving would not be on the list.” My eyes averted his and looked back to the hanging he’d asked about. “How’d you know it was the tree of life?”

  “The single piece of fruit gave it away. The tree of life is said to bare only a single piece of fruit at a time.” Damien watched me closely from across the space between us. “Tell me the things you would like.”

  The fact that he knew the legend took me by surprise but I said nothing of it. I thought for a moment before answering, “Peace of mind... To know a lot more about you. A full night sleep. To wake up not covered in blood. To erase all but one part of the last two weeks plus some. I’d like to not feel quite as afraid as I have been.” I shook my head, having not meant to say that. He wasn’t bringing the best out of me tonight. “Control over my own mouth for the rest of this evening. Take your pick.” He didn’t seem to mind the bitterness in my tone.

  Nodding, he took a moment for consideration. “I’ll do my best to see what I can do about your list. Excluding the self-control.” He smirked for a millisecond before sobering again just as quickly. “What scares you, Anna?”

  I shook my head, no. Did I not want to say? Did I not know? No, not really. He watched me for a moment, letting me have a few minutes to decide if I could answer. I couldn’t. He nodded when I looked up to him. I shrugged helplessly and shook my head again.

  “So are you the artist?” He smiled lightly as I looked up with mild surprise from the question.

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  “That’s amazing. I can’t draw stick figures straight.” The smile remained. I tried to return it and was surprised that I was able to share a small one. He lied. Nevertheless, it was a lie to try and make me feel better. I’m not too harsh a judge of those that lie. After all, it’s how I survive in this world. “Did you take classes?” My mind whirled to catch back up. Oh, art.

  “Art history but nothing as far as professional training or anything like that.” Still perching on the edge of the bed, I wrapped my arms around myself tightly as I pulled my knees up to my chest.

  He nodded absently looking thoughtful as he walked around looking at each piece on the floor. Over my bed hung another of my favorite pieces. Noticing it, his eyes caught on it intensely.

  A woman lay in a bed with a demon, a ghost, a faceless nun and two other frightening faces with the angel of death hovering over her. Just beyond them all was a dark stone tunnel. At the bottom, “Night Intruders” was scribbled as the name. “You have a lot of talent.”

  “Thank you.” Enthusiasm lacked in my words but it was a thoughtful statement. I wouldn’t forget it. He raised a brow. “Really.” He smiled.

  “What’s your favorite medium?” His eyes had found a clay sculpture that stood to my waist in the corner of the room. A tree with barren limbs but the trunk was shaped like that of a tastefully done nude woman. Her arms were stretched up above her head, blending with her hair to create the limbs. “Did you make that too?”

  “Yes. It’s my rendering of Mother Nature. See her swollen belly? Pregnant with life. That was my pottery phase. It changes. Chalks right now. Before that was clay. And before that it was jewelry. I’ve painted a lot too. Watercolors and oils both. Why are you so interested? You one of those rich art junkies I hear so much about?” I couldn’t help but laugh at the idea if just a little. I wasn’t that good. If he was, he didn’t have the greatest taste.

  “Can’t I be interested in you?” Damn him and those good answers. My cheeks warmed, as my chin lay onto my knees. I shrugged. “Could I take you out sometime? I don’t mean break time at Riads.” His lips pursed into a familiar smirk.

  My chest thudded heavily. It took me a few moments to answer. “I have tomorrow off.”

  His lips twisted up in unpleasant hesitation. “Mmm. That’d be nice but I can’t then. Next week’s better.”

  “Then I have Wednesday and Thursday off next week.”

  “I believe I can make Wednesday work. Maybe Thursday too.” He smirked again. “I
’ll choose the place. While I am completely happy walking around some dirty old docks in the rain with you, I want to take you on a real date.” Happy? Really? Hm. Good to know. I fought back a smirk of my own. Fought and failed.

  He walked over to me slowly and with a long pause of hesitation, he turned and sat on the very edge of the bed next to me. “So you’re not nervous now?”

  “Should I be?” My brows lift as I let my eyes stare back into his, though I didn’t move.

  “I haven’t decided yet.” He leaned to his side, closer to me until his shoulder was pressed to my arm, which still wrapped around my knees.

  “Do you want to scare me just to get me rambling like an idiot?” I laughed a little. Until then, I hadn’t realized I was smiling so much. It was just involuntary around him, damn it.

  “Oh there’s other ways to make you nervous.” His lips curled into a slow devilish grin. His eyes became darker as he leaned closer still, shadowed by the dim lights. My lip caught in my teeth. His body twisted turning into mine. A hand rose to my cheek. Thumb gently pressing to my lip pulling it free of my bite and held there. My tongue swiftly licked the inside of my lip, sweeping the slight trace of blood away. His brow furrowed. “I have to leave.”

  Unsteadily, I pulled from him. My foot slipped off the edge of the bed making me nearly fall off. Damien’s hand pulled away from me as he straightened, sitting up away from me. Catching myself I sat straight now, my knees were now pressed tight together with my feet firmly planted on the floor. He’d thrown me for a complete loop. “Now?” Did I do something wrong?

  “Well, I meant more that I have to leave town. But yeah, that too.” He looked down at the floor before standing up slowly. “I’m going to Florida to visit my brother.” He shook his head, looking irritated by something. I didn’t think it was my business so I didn’t ask.

  My brow furrowed. My head was spinning and I could feel the pressure of another headache building as my head spun. “Oh, well- alright.” Silently, I wondered when he would be back.

  “I’ll just be a couple of days.” Outside the thunder cracked loudly, alerting me to the fact that the rain was pouring in great sheets. My hand rose and ran through my hair, pulling on the strands as if trying to rip out my stress and pain by the roots. “I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner.”

  “Hey, you don’t have to tell me anything. I mean not really.” I stood to my feet, just inches from him. Something was bothering him. His eyes seemed troubled. Was it something I said? No, that didn’t seem right. I wanted to ask but somehow the words didn’t reach my lips. Why did he have to leave now? Anxiously, I chewed my lip whilst looking to my feet then to the door. It seemed foreboding.

  His hand came up brushing my cheek. Once more, his thumb pulled my lip from my teeth. His skin was like ice. “You shouldn’t worry that lip so much.”

  “Yeah, why’s that?” My head tilted down into his hand that lingered. I rose my hand to place over his, pulling it down slowly but not letting go. Both of my hands wrapped around his, holding him close to my stomach.

  “Well I kind of like that lip. I’d hate to lose it.” Smiling again, I looked away from him. He stepped into me. His hand clinched around mine while his other slid around from my side to my back.

  A strange defiance sparked in me as I looked up right into his eyes. They were gleaming like dark emeralds staring right back to meet the challenge. His hand at my back tightened into a fist, holding my shirt in his hand and pulling me into him. “It’s not that I want to leave, you know.”

  “I’m not kicking you out.” He laughed, his nose pressed into my forehead as he leaned closer. Then he took a hold of my side firmly as my arms spread up to wrap around his neck.

  His fingers swept my hair away from my neck. Finding my neck, his lips slowly brushed down making my body tingle. Mumbling between the kisses, he groaned. “I don’t want to.” His lips drug to my shoulder. “But I have to.”

  My nails found the skin at the nape of his neck just beneath his hairline. Quite notably, he shivered. “That’s too bad.” Instantly I sucked my lip into my mouth. Every primal bone in my body wanted him to stay. Stay for the night and the following day. We could draw the curtains and pretend we didn’t know when night turned to day or back again.

  Pressing his lips firmly to my forehead, cool breath let out in a sigh over my eyelids. “Vorrei restare per sempre,” Damien whispered just before suddenly turning to walk straight to the door. Then I was alone.

  In case you’re wondering it was Italian for ‘I would stay forever.’

  IIX

  “FATE LINGERS”

  That night the dream finally changed. There wasn’t any violence. It was nothing that would classify as horrifying at all but that didn’t keep it from frightening me.

  Usually every person in the dream was always a blur to me with no distinguishing features at all. Until it was time for them to die that is. Except her, though I was her.

  This time the face that came clear to me was one I never expected. Damien.

  The man I had seen near a hundred times in my real life was sitting on a rock just outside of a small hut covered in ivy. Holding a knife in one hand as he carefully shaved his head and face from feel alone. A pile of long slightly curly, dark ashen brown colored hair lay on the sand at his feet. It matched the braid from the spell perfectly.

  The most over whelming feeling of love came over me as she saw him. She had bound herself to him. That was what the spell had been for. They were bound.

  The dreading knowledge found me in my sleep. He was hers and hers alone. When he was done, he turned to look up at me or her rather, with his unmistakable half grin. As he stood, he looked more like the Damien I knew now but all the way around clean-shaven and his skin was a deep bronze from too long in the sun. He came to her. Pulling her into his arms and leaning his lips to hers.

  The next second I woke up. Tears blurred my vision. My chest ached so horribly I wished I could rip my heart free. Who was she? How could she take him? Why would he be here if he had her? Is that why he had really left, to go be with her? Or was it not real? Dreams were never supposed to be real. Maybe this was my subconscious’ way of telling me we could never be together. The dreams aren’t real. I’m not crazy. “I’m not crazy.” Saying it aloud didn’t help.

  * * * * *

  “Hey, Rachel. I need a favor. I need to borrow your car.” I forced myself to wait until eight a.m. to call her, even though I had been up from three a.m. on. “Sure, yeah. I’ll meet you at work. - No problem. I’ll only be a couple hours. - Don’t worry ‘bout the gas. I’ll fill it up before I bring it back. - Thank you so so much, Rachel. You’re my life saver.”

  Why Rachel? She’s always willing to help. And best of all, she doesn’t ask questions. Though I barely knew her she’d always been really nice. What did I really know about the woman I worked with? Not much. She has a daughter who’s three who seems to have some health problems but I never really asked. Hm maybe I should. Not today though.

  The rest of the morning was a big stressful haze despite the gorgeous sunny day outside my window.

  I left an hour earlier than I needed to just because I couldn’t stand to sit at home a second longer.

  As a thank you, I stopped in at Denkies Donuts on the way to work and bought Rachel a coffee and two chocolate éclair’s. One for her and one for her little girl for the next morning. I had them wrap one in wax paper and plastic.

  Am I a bad person for forgetting the kid’s name? Well I bought her a donut at least.

  Rachel was there promptly. Dressed in her usual black pants and white tee shirt that hugged her well-rounded curves completely. Auburn curls sprung down her back to just past her shoulder blades. Her plump overly full face made her beauty stand out in a way that made her look like a baby doll. Tall and tan and perky from her petal pink toes to her petal pink fingers.

  She was over joyed by the sweet treats and happy to oblige the use of her car. “It’s totally
cool. I trust you, Anna. But I gotta ask why didn’t you just call Neesa? Isn’t she like your B.F.F. or whatever?” My eyes widened slightly at the term. It took a second for my brain to process it before I realized it meant “best friend forever” It was a term I hadn’t heard since way back in middle school. Very Rachel.

  “Um yeah but it’s sort of a surprise. So I didn’t want her to know. So if you don’t mind please don’t tell her okay?” All I could do was cross my fingers. It wasn’t vital that Neesa didn’t know really. I knew by the end of the day there was no doubt at all she would. After all it was her mother I was going to see.

  “Oh shiz, is it her birthday? I didn’t get her anything!” Rachel’s head tilted sort of like a confused dog as she sat there pondering details such as birthdays. She stopped cussing for her daughter but she forgets to edit when around adults. Now she sounded like a young teen being watched by mommy and daddy when she talked.

  I never had such simple days, nor would I. Looking at her hazy eyed expression I suddenly thought maybe it was a good thing.

  “No, no it’s not her birthday. Just a B.F.F. thing I guess.” Did I just say that? Hah! I did.

  “Oh that’s cool too. I totally get it. Alright, well just bring it back in one piece.” She handed me the keys as she went in to work.

  * * * * *

  Within thirty minutes’ drive I was pulling up in front of the Wildflower. None to my surprise, Adélia was standing out front with her cup of tea waiting for me next to the door open. Her flowing earthy dress adorning her as usual. At first glance, you would think she was some earth mother priestess Gypsy straight from a fantasy book. All that mattered to me was if she had any answers.

  “Hello, my dear. Please come in.” Her smile was small and timid as she ushered me inside, leading the way to the back through the busy store immediately just as last time. Today the store was full of people. The music was the same style but full of chanting and some kind of rattling instrument with a drum.