by Kerry Taylor
“Yes, like soldiers. He always wore cargo pants and a shirt like that, but they were always dirty and rumpled.” Matt handed me the water again and I took a sip, then handed it back with a grateful smile.
“He dragged me into a really small cabin. It was made of wood and was just one room with a fireplace and a cot in the corner. It was more like a shed really, and it was completely in the middle of nowhere. There was a hatch in the floor and he threw me down there. I didn’t know what it was when he first put me down there. It was basically a large open space with no windows. I later realised it was one of those bunkers, like for the end of the world. Anyway, he’d cleared everything out of there. It was damp and crumbling, but secure enough to hold me for a really long time.” The last word broke as it turned into a sob and I had to take deep breaths to stop any more following.
“We can stop now if you need to, Love. I have enough to get started.” Kade said as he looked over to me with concern.
“No. I’m ok. I just want to get this done.” My voice was weak and so croaky. My throat hurt from using it too.
“Please would you make me some tea Matt?. My voice is failing me.” I whispered.
“Of course Carina.” He ran a finger down my cheek, then smiled before he stood and hurried away.
“Do you want to take a breather?” Kyle asked, but I knew, if I stopped, I’d scare myself into never starting again. I needed to just get it out. I shook my head, then took a deep breath.
“The bunker, I called it ‘The Darkness’, because to me that’s what it was. It was always pitch dark, except for when he came down. He’d always bring a lantern with him. He liked to see the wounds he inflicted.” I hissed. “That’s why he took me. He was sick and twisted. He liked to know he had full control of me, hence the no noise thing. A-after the first day he took me, and beat me bloody f…..for crying for my Mom and Dad, I never uttered a word again. It took time…...to learn not make sounds when he hurt me, but over time I learned and those went too.
“He never spoke one word to me, ever. I never heard his voice. His breath always had the smell of alcohol though, and I know he lived in that tiny cabin above me. He only left once every seven days, same time every week without fail. He w-would be gone for around two hours each time. I counted the seconds each time to be sure, and I think I was pretty accurate.”
“You think he went for groceries and supplies?” Kade asked.
“He must have, though if he bought food, he never brought me anything that resembled real produce. He didn’t have clean running water. When h-he was feeling generous and brought me a one litre bottle, it was always murky and had all sorts of crap in it. I guessed he used a well or a stream for it.” Matt reappeared with a steaming mug, which he carefully handed to me.
“Green tea with honey and lemon. It should help your throat.” He said kindly.
“Thankyou.” I held the cup for a minute and let the heat from it and the men around me, remind me I was just telling the story, I wasn’t there.
“There was d-definitely something wrong with him. He acted crazy…...really crazy, and his moods were wild. Sometimes he’d be almost feral, throwing me around and attacking me like an animal. Other times he was more controlled, tying me down and playing with his knives. Those times were like…..” I swallowed hard, trying to get the words out. “.....like torture sessions, except there was nothing to tell him to make it end.” Tears were streaming and I was still shaking badly. Kyle squeezed my hand hard and I realised what I was saying was probably as hard for them to hear, as it was for me to tell.
“Then there were times when he’d be calm, and almost caring. He’d bring me antibiotics and ointments for the wounds he’d put there. Those times were the worst, because there was a motive behind his caring, and they always ended the same way.” The last words were a squeak and I knew I was close to freaking out.
“I’m sorry. I just…..I need a second.” I was already up from Coles lap and hurrying to the kitchen. I placed the tea on the counter and turned to the sliding doors. I pushed one open and slipped out closing it behind me.
I walked down to the lawn and took huge deep breaths as the wild wind blew through my escaped strands of hair. It was a dull day, the sky filled with clouds, but the cold was a welcome relief, a sign that I was outside and free. I walked up and down, the grass feeling bumpy and cold under my sock covered feet.
“You’re ok, you’re free. It’s all over.” I whispered to myself as I fought the images of him touching me trying to push their way in. I paced back and forth on the grass, taking in every sound and touch around me, assuring myself over and over again that I was safe and free.
It took a few minutes, but eventually I was able to centre myself and get a full breath in. I turned to the house and found all four of the guys watching me through the glass doors, their faces filled with worry.
I smiled, wanting to reassure them I was alright and when they all smiled back, it was overwhelming. They were just all so handsome and perfect. I knew I was very damned lucky to have them on my side.
One more deep breath and I headed inside. My teeth were chattering from the cold, but I felt stronger and able to get the rest out.
“Here crazy lady, you must be frozen.” Cole said with a smile as he approached and wrapped a fleece blanket tight around me.
“I like the cold.” I told him with a smile. He just shook his head in despair and handed me my tea. I took a sip and then looked to Kade.
“Can we just get this finished please?” I asked.
“Are you sure?” He looked from me to Kyle and when I followed his line of vision, I found Kyle looking red faced and angry. His hands hung at his sides, clenched into tight fists. Obviously what I had recounted had pissed him off, but he was trying hard to hide his anger for my sake.
“You guys don’t have to be in there if this is too much. I shouldn’t have made you listen.” I said guiltily.
“Fuck Liv!” Kyle growled. “You lived through it all. I think we can manage to be there for you while you recount it.”
I looked across to Matt and Cole, who both nodded that they agreed. Knowing it was too late to try and shelter them now, I simply nodded too, and took my tea back through to the lounge. The guys all followed close behind and Matt and Kade took the seats they had before, but when I looked to Cole, he nodded to Kyle behind me. I quickly realised he was telling me Kyle needed me close while he heard the rest, and seeing the stress on his taut face, I agreed.
Cole took the seat on the right that Kyle had before, leaving Kyle the middle seat. His ass was barely in the seat before I lowered down onto his lap without even asking him. Luckily he didn’t mind, just pulled me tight into his front and held me, one arm around my stomach and the other under my arms and across my chest.
“I will never let anyone hurt you ever again Princess.” He whispered into my ear, almost angrily and I knew he was struggling.
“I know.” I said back, needing him to know I trusted him, trusted all of them. I finished the tea and handed the mug to Matt when he reached for it.
“You ready, love?” Kade asked from where he sat. I nodded, then just started where I felt able to. I had said all I could say about The Shadow touching me. It was too much to go into. I wasn’t strong enough.
“He….he liked routine. Always left on the same day at the same time, always had set times that he c-came to me…...to hurt me. He would go to sleep at a set time and wake at a set time. He’s kind of OCD too, but not with personal hygiene. There was always a certain way he organised his knives, or whatever he brought down with him.
“Time passed clowly, the days always the same, week after week. If I got sick he would leave me pills and water, and stay away until I was better. It was like he was scared of illness or disease.
“There were a couple of times when I was really sick, probably with infections from the open wounds. I thought I’d die down there alone in the dark…..maybe even hoped I would a couple of times. But I d
idn’t.
“Years passed. I kept a count of the days, always knowing when one passed by the sounds of him above going to bed each night. It was 2928 days the last I remember, but there’s a blank in my memory. I remember laying down to sleep, the last night there, and the next thing is me being in the woods, covered in blood, just running. That’s when I was found.”
“Do you know how long you were running for before those cops found you?”
“Not really, but it was quite a long time. I’d say it was early morning, just after dawn when I was first in the woods. By the time I was on the road, with the cops, the sun was high, so definitely quite a few hours.” I reasoned.
“That’s good. I can use that to try and find this cabin.”
“Do you th-think you can find him Kade?” I asked, exhausted.
“I won’t stop until I do. He’s going to jail for what he put you through.”
“Do you think he’s looking for me, that he’d w…..want me back?” I had been afraid to ask, but I had to know.
“There’s a chance he will look for you, yes, but it doesn’t matter. You’re safe here, Love. We won’t let him take you again.”
“We’re all going to protect you Carina. You don’t need to worry.” Matt agreed.
“What…...what if you find the cabin and…..I killed him? There was blood on me, I could have. Something had to have happened to allow me to escape, but I just can’t…..I’ve tried, but I can’t remember anything.” It was a thought I had been fighting since the moment I realised I had gotten free and had no memory of how.
“After what he did to you, no one is going to question whatever you had to do to escape Liv. You do not stress yourself out with that crap. Whatever you did, you did because it was you or him.” Kyle said vehemently. I turned in his arms and buried my face in his shirt, needing a minute to recoup. I didn’t know how I felt about the possibility I had been forced to do something terrible to escape The Shadow. Of course I had been desperate to escape and I had planned ways to make that escape a hundred times or more, but I had never imagined I would actually have to kill my kidnapper. Maim him, yes, maybe I could do that, but was I really capable of taking a life, even the life of the man who had destroyed me? I wasn’t so sure.
I held onto Kyle’s shirt and curled up tight in his lap. He just held me close and let me be. His aftershave, mixed with a minty body wash, filled my senses, making me feel so grounded with him. It was just what I needed to calm my racing mind. There was nothing I could do until I remembered or Kade found that cabin. Adding stress to my already crazy head seemed foolish. Cole had been right earlier, I needed to learn to handle the things I could control first. I took a few minutes to just re-centre, then sat up and gave Kyle a shy smile, thanking him for giving me the time I needed.
“You’ve given me so much to go on there Olivia. I’m going to head into the office and start working on tracking this scumbag right away.” Kade explained once I was back in the room.
“Did you find the other guy, the killer?” I asked.
“No, not yet, but we have everything set up to grab him tomorrow at the time and place you gave us. We’ll get him, thanks to you.”
I nodded, not sure how to reply to that. It wasn’t like I had done anything heroic. I had just thought I was doing some benile puzzle.
“I need to go and pick Evie up from school. Are you going to be ok, Brains?” Cole asked as he stood.
“I’m fine.” I agreed. “Thank you all for being here with me and for being so patient. I…..I never thought I’d get through all of that, but it was so much easier with you all here.” I looked between the four of them, wanting them all to know how very much they had helped me through an almost impossible situation.
“We’re always here for you, Love, whatever you need.” Kade walked over as he spoke, and finished his words with a gentle kiss on my temple, just as he had the morning before. He was sweet and he smelt so damn good. My stomach did that weird fluttery thing and I inwardly slapped my head. Seriously, four crushes? This could not be normal. Was there something wrong with me? Did I come out of that hell hole messed up? Or maybe I had just been starved of human contact for so long, I was overcompensating and falling for every guy who was kind to me, except if that was true wouldn’t I also be crushing on Xander and Simon, maybe even Grant? I was so confused!
“What he said.” Cole whispered as he too approached and kissed my head. “I’ll be back soon.”
Kade and Cole walked out together, the front door slamming hard behind them and making me jump in Kyle’s arms.
“Easy Princess, you’re ok.” He whispered as he held me tighter.
“Sorry.” I whispered, embarrassed once again. “I’m going to stop doing that at some point soon.”
“Olivia, if I had been through what you have, I’d be rocking in a corner. It’s a miracle, and a real show of your strength that you are doing as well as you are.” Kyle told me.
“He’s right. You have been through so much more than any of us even realised. You’re amazing. I don’t know how you survived, but I’m so grateful you did, and that you came here to us.” Matt agreed.
“I’m really grateful to be here with you guys too. I would not be as ‘ok’ as I am now without you all supporting me and making me feel safe.” The words made me feel tearful, but this time the tears were happy, and hopeful for the future, as long as I had them at my side.
“We have about thirty minutes of peace before Evie descends on us with her tales of kindergarten. Do you want to take a rest for a while?” Kyle asked. I felt so warm and safe in his arms, I would have happily stayed there as long as possible, but I knew both guys were antsy, by the way they were fidgeting around. What I had told them had clearly gotten to them and I realised they needed time to re-centre too.
“If it’s ok, I’d really just like to head out to the garden for a while. I just want to get my thoughts straight after going through all of that.” It was my next best option if I couldn’t stay where I was.
“You want one of us to come with you?” Matt offered.
“No Thanks. No need. I’ll be fine. You guys do your thing for a while. I’ve been a pain in all your asses all day.” I half joked.
“You could never be a pain, Princess.” Kyle said as he leant in and kissed my temple gently. “But if you need some space that’s fine. Just stay in the yard and wrap up though, ok? It’s cold out there.”
“I will.” I agreed. Matt stood and helped me to my feet from Kyle’s lap, since when I was sitting there, my feet dangled over a foot from the floor.
As soon as I had my feet under me I launched forward and hugged Matt. He hadn’t been expecting the attack style embrace, but recovered quickly and hugged me back tight.
“Thank you.” I whispered, hoping he knew how very grateful I was for him being there for me.
“Always Carina.” He whispered back. I still hadn’t dared to ask him what the word meant that he used for me often, but the way he purred it with a beautiful accent behind it, gave me goosebumps every time. I loved it.
I released him before my hug became awkward, but I hated to let him go. I had never experienced anything in my life like the safety and warmth I felt in the arms of Cole, Kyle and Matt. I had a fleeting thought how it would feel and smell in Kade’s arms, then mentally slapped myself for going there. I had enough going on.
Kyle walked me to the entrance and as I pulled on my boots, he pulled a thick navy puffer coat from the row of hooks on the opposite wall.
“We need to take you shopping. You need more warm clothes.” He grumbled as he helped me on with what I guessed was his coat. It reached my knees and the sleeves completely covered my hands, but it was wonderfully thick and warm. Kyle fastened it up the front, then wrapped a scarf around my neck and pulled a black beanie over my head.
“Jees Kyle. I’m not sure it’s that cold outside.” I laughed as I fought to find my hands.
“Can’t be too careful. You’re still recov
ering. Can’t have you getting sick.” He straightened my hat as he spoke, then nodded as though he were satisfied I was wrapped up enough. Good job too, since there was no way any other outer clothing would fit anywhere on my body.
“Thank you.” I said with a smile. I had to admit, it was nice to know how much they all cared.
“I’ll just be in the kitchen if you need anything. I’ll be able to hear you if you yell, ok?” I opened my mouth to ask what he was doing in the kitchen, but then quickly realised he was likely just going in there so he could keep an eye on me. Out of all of the brothers, he seemed the most protective, and maybe if I was a normal girl, who had led a normal life, I’d have found him overbearing, but I wasn’t a normal girl. I was a girl who had been alone and terrorised for a really long time. His care was what I needed to feel secure once again and I appreciated it.
“Ok.” I agreed instead. I wriggled my hand free of the long sleeve and grabbed his hand, squeezing it just once to thank him again and reassure him I was doing ok for that moment. He smiled, understanding, then I let him go and headed to the kitchen and straight out of the sliding doors onto the large patio area that covered the first quarter of the yard.
Kyle had been right, it was cold, even colder than when I had been out before, but the air was crisp and the sky had cleared, allowing the sun to peek through large gaps in the clouds. It was mid November, so the trees around me were mainly bare, the dry crisp leaves that had fallen from them all, long since gone too.
I walked across the wide lawn, marvelling at the flower beds filled with bright flowers Keira had somehow managed to make grow in the bitter weather.
I took a walk around the big wooden gazebo in the centre of the garden and wondered how it would look in the summertime, the furniture all uncovered and Evie running around squealing as Grant chased her around. I wondered if the guys liked to be outside? I closed my eyes and smiled as I imagined it. I could see Kade sitting at one of the tables on the patio working away on a file, some case he couldn’t stop working on, even though it was his day off. Matt would be cooking, stood at the barbeque, grilling steaks, a beer in his hand and that lazy half smile on his face. I could hear Cole and Kyle yelling to each other as they horsed around with a football, while Kiera yelled at them for crushing her flowers. Xander and Simon would arrive late, having both been working. They’d come strutting in as they did, dressed casually for our lazy afternoon in the garden, but still impeccable, in pressed shirts and tailored shorts. I laughed as I thought of Simon in some ridiculous boat shoes or something like that. Then I surprised myself when I appeared there too, dressed in a pretty summer dress like the ones my Mom wore when I was young, sat out on a blanket in the grass, watching all of the guys around me, and laughing at Cole and Kyle’s antics. I looked so happy, so full of life.
