Between Now and Forever

by Barbara Freethy

  "Can you text me the address?" Ryan asked. "I know the police are on it, but that's only a few hours from here, and maybe the mother will give us more information, because we're not cops." He listened for another moment, then released Nicole's hand to text himself a note. "Thanks." He ended the call and said, "They got the birth certificate and the name of the biological mother. No father was listed."

  "What is the mother's name?" she asked, feeling both excited and fearful. Brandon's biological mother had always been a ghostly figure, a threat in the beginning, someone who might change her mind, and then as time went on, she'd just disappeared. Now the ghost was about to get a name.

  "Andrea Holt. Before you get too excited, they haven't been able to locate her."

  "Why not?"

  "I don't know, but they have found Andrea's parents."

  "Brandon's biological grandparents?"

  Ryan's jaw tightened. "Yes. Andrea's mother, Carole, told the police that she hasn't seen her daughter in three years and has no idea where she is. She said that her daughter has had substance abuse issues for a long time and could be homeless."

  "That doesn't sound good," she muttered.

  "Carole and her husband live in Beverly Hills. Both police departments have spoken to her on the phone, and Inspector DeCarlo is catching a plane out this afternoon to meet with her in person.

  "We're going to Beverly Hills," she said, not making it a question—because there was no question. They were only a few hours from L.A. They might even be able to beat Inspector DeCarlo to the house. But even if they didn't, it didn't matter. She had to meet Brandon's biological grandparents. She had to know what they knew.

  "What's going on?" Jessica interrupted, as she and Sean joined them.

  "The police got the birth certificate unsealed," Nicole said, repeating the information Ryan had given her. "Ryan and I want to drive down to L.A. and meet Carole Holt. Hopefully, she can help lead us to her daughter."

  "Should I come?" Jessica asked.

  "If you want to, sure."

  "I just told Marian Kelton that we'd be over to her house in a few minutes. Maybe we don't need her information anymore," Jessica said. "We already know that Paula ordered the quilts."

  "We should still talk to Marian," Ryan said. "She might be able to refute Paula's explanation or point us in another direction. We may have the biological grandmother, but we don't have the birth mother. Marian might have some clue that would help us. I think we should split up and follow both leads at the same time."

  "That makes sense," Jessica said. "You two should meet the biological grandmother. You have a longer history with Brandon than I have with Kyle, and you were the ones who arranged the adoption, so it's logical that you should speak to her. I can talk to Marian, and my mother-in-law again, if I have to."

  "I'll stay here with Jessica," Sean offered. "You two don't need me, and I don't want Jessica to have to deal with the monster-in-law on her own."

  Nicole nodded, pleased to have a plan worked out so quickly. She hadn't wanted to waste time deciding who should do what, but she really did want to be the one to speak to Carole Holt.

  They got back into Ryan's car and drove to Jessica's house. After Sean and Jessica left the car, Nicole looked over at Ryan. There was hope in his eyes, and she felt the same sense of optimism.

  "We have the grandmother," she said.

  "Yes, we do." He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. "And soon we're going to have our son."

  Chapter Sixteen

  "Thanks for staying," Jessica told Sean as they walked toward Sean's van. "I hope I made the right decision staying here instead of going with them."

  "You did."

  He put a hand on her arm, and she felt a tingle run down her spine. It was a weird, unexpected feeling. She'd been numb for almost a year, but suddenly she wasn't. She didn't know what to think about that. In fact, she didn’t really know what to think about Sean. He was a stranger in so many ways, and yet he also felt like a friend.

  "I know why you let them go on their own, Jess."

  "What do you mean, you know why?"

  "You didn't adopt Kyle at birth, and I think deep down you feel that because you haven't had Kyle as long, you're not as real a mother as Nicole is. But that isn't true, and you have to stop thinking that way."

  She was shocked at how well he'd read her. She didn't know what to say.

  Sean shrugged. "Or I could be wrong."

  "You're not wrong," she said after a minute. "I do feel a little like an imposter sometimes."

  "You have to remember that your husband chose you to be Kyle's mother. It's tragic that he died so young and left you and Kyle on your own. But if I were him, I'd be happy that the woman I loved was raising my kid. And from everything you've told me about Kyle and your lives over the past year, I think you're doing a good job."

  She blinked back a tear at the kind words. "Stop, you're going to make me cry."

  "I was trying to make you smile," he said dryly. "I never seem to get it right with women."

  "You got it right. Thanks." Sean had reminded her of something she'd forgotten—that Travis had chosen to marry her. And he had thought she was a good mother. Sure, he'd laughed at her a few times in the beginning when she'd fumbled things, because she hadn't really been around kids before Kyle. She'd been an only child, and she'd never done much babysitting, so meeting Kyle as a four-year-old and having to learn how to deal with him had been an eye-opener.

  But she and Kyle had forged a bond. And since Travis had died, they'd gotten really, really close. Kyle called her Mommy. And Kyle's opinion was really the only one that mattered.

  "So where are we going?" Sean asked, as they got into his van.

  "A few miles from here. Marian lives on the outside of town."

  "Tell me where to go."

  "I will. I appreciate your support, Sean. You don't judge, and I like that."

  "I've been judged a lot in my life. I try not to return that favor, if I can help it."

  "I guess all artists get judged."

  "I wasn't talking just about my music. My family has been fairly critical of my choices the last few years. The Callaways have a longstanding tradition of serving the community. It started like five generations ago. My father, grandfather, great-grandfather, great-great grandfather all served in the San Francisco Fire Department. My brothers, Burke and Colton are firefighters. Aiden was a smokejumper up until last year."

  "I take it you didn't want to be a firefighter."

  "No. Nor a helicopter pilot like my brother, Drew, or a doctor like Shayla or a teacher like Nicole. They're all doing important things with their lives. They help people. They serve the community. I serve myself."

  She had a feeling he was echoing someone else's words. "Your music isn't just for you. I'm sure you entertain people and make them feel better for a little while."

  "According to my father, entertainment is not service. I should be helping people, giving back to the world, making it a better place, and not thinking only of myself."

  "Maybe you should take your own advice and not let other people's opinions define your life," she said pointedly.

  He grinned. "Easier to give advice than to take it. My father is not completely wrong. I do live for myself. I don't have anyone else to worry about, and I like it that way. I go where I want when I want. No responsibilities, no commitment. What could be better?"

  She was a little disappointed in his words. Now he sounded like a lot of guys she'd met, especially the ones who ran through Vegas for a weekend of parties and fun. But despite Sean's candor, she didn't believe he was as selfish as he painted himself.

  "Sean?"

  He turned to look at her. "What?"

  "You're helping me, and I'm a total stranger. I don't think you've strayed as far away from the Callaway traditions as you think."

  He shrugged. "I didn't have anything else to do this weekend. Believe me when I tell you that I am nobody's hero. Anyone who tries
to make me into one will be very disappointed. I know my limitations. And everyone else finds out eventually."

  There was a dark edge to his tone. Sean might be easygoing on the surface, but he obviously had some secrets. But those secrets were none of her business. He'd be gone in a day or two. He was just a stranger passing through, and she'd had plenty of those in her life.

  "You know I'm going to keep driving straight until you tell me to turn," Sean said.

  "Sorry." She sat up straighter in her seat, realizing she'd lost track of what they were supposed to be doing. "Turn left at the next corner. Marian's house will be a few blocks down. Hopefully, she'll be home."

  * * *

  Ten minutes later, Jessica rang the bell at Marian Kelton's house. The older woman opened the door with a smile.

  Marian was a short, plump woman with red hair and freckles that mixed with the lines on her aging face. She had to be in her seventies, but she had a lively sparkle in her green eyes.

  "Come in. Come in. Can I get you something to eat or drink? Tea? Cookies?" Marian asked as they entered her house.

  "No thanks," Jessica said. "We just have a few questions if you don't mind."

  "Oh, of course not. I've been worried sick about that little boy of yours. And when Kara told me about the other child, I was flabbergasted. Who would have ever imagined that Kyle had a twin brother?" Marian motioned them toward the living room. "Let's sit down so we can chat."

  As they took a seat on the red sofa, Jessica glanced around the colorfully decorated room, taking note of the beautiful wall-hanging quilt and another smaller quilt tossed over the side of an armchair. Marian obviously spent a lot of time at the sewing machine.

  "So what else can I tell you?" Marian asked. "You already know that Paula was the one who ordered the quilts. I didn't realize that was a secret or important in any way until Kara called me."

  "It's important because Paula ordered two quilts when Travis was only adopting one baby," Jessica said. "My mother-in-law explained that she ordered two so she would have a backup. But to be honest, I'm not sure that's true. I was wondering what she told you, if you remember?"

  Marian nodded. "I remember everything. Paula did tell me she wanted a backup, but I did find it strange that she wanted one detail on the quilts to be different."

  "The birds. Kyle's quilt has one and Brandon's has two."

  "Exactly. I guess Paula thought that would be a subtle way to tell them apart. I didn't ask, because Paula doesn't like to explain herself. She's been that way since she was a little girl."

  "You've known her that long?" Sean asked.

  "Since kindergarten," Marian said with a nod. "And let me tell you, Paula was bossy when she was five. She used to rule our group of girls like she was the queen and we were her servants."

  Jessica didn't think that Paula had changed much since she was five. She still liked to be in charge, and everyone had to dance to her tune. "Since you knew Paula, you must have known Travis as well," she said.

  "Oh, sure, and Sharon, too." Marian's face softened. "But I won't talk about her if it's too painful for you."

  "It's not painful. I know Travis loved Sharon and that she died too young."

  "She did," Marian agreed. "It was so sad. She'd just gotten everything she ever wanted—a child, and she didn't get to see him grow up. It was heartbreaking. And Travis was grief-stricken for months after her death."

  Jessica frowned, Marian's words more painful than she'd expected. She turned the conversation back to the quilts. "Do you remember when Paula ordered the quilts, how long before Travis and Sharon got Kyle?"

  "I think it was about a month before Kyle was born." Marian replied. "I remember worrying that something might go wrong. Travis and Sharon had had another adoption fall through at the last minute. They were on the way to the hospital when they got a call from a social worker saying the adoption was off. That was about eight or nine months before they got Kyle. Everyone had their fingers crossed that the same thing wouldn't happen again."

  Travis had never told her anything about that baby, Jessica realized. He'd been open and up front about his love for Sharon and their desire to have children, but he hadn't gone into details about their adoption struggles, and she hadn't asked. That part of his life didn't belong to her, and she hadn't really wanted to think that much about his first love.

  "Was there any mention of Kyle's biological parents?" Sean interjected. "Did Paula share any details about who the mother was?"

  "No, she didn't say anything about the birth parents to me. Maybe you should try talking to Paula again. I know she can be difficult, but she loves Kyle, and I can't see why she would keep any secrets that might bring Kyle home."

  "I can't, either," Jessica said. "But I do think she's keeping a secret, and I need to figure out what it is."

  "Well, unless she's willing to tell you, I doubt you'll figure it out," Marian said. "When Paula wants to keep a secret, she keeps it. In fact, sometimes she holds that secret over you. She used to do that to me when we were in high school. I remember one time I had a mad crush on this boy named Eric. Paula told me he liked someone else, but she wouldn't say who it was. She used to drive me crazy. Finally, she told me it was our other friend, Carole. I shouldn't have been surprised, because Carole always got a lot of attention from boys, but I was annoyed that Paula chose not to tell me." Marian stopped. "Good grief, I'm rambling on. What else can I tell you?"

  Jessica frowned, the name Carole running around in her head. Wasn't that the same name as the biological grandmother that Ryan and Nicole had gone to see? "Where does Carole live now?" she asked.

  "In Los Angeles. She married a very wealthy man. We always knew she'd end up living the good life."

  Jessica's nerves tightened. "Did she have any children?"

  "One daughter. Why do you ask?"

  "We've been trying to find Kyle's biological parents. The police have the name of the birth mother, Andrea Holt. And her mother's name is Carole Holt. I'm wondering if they're the same person."

  Marian's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Carole married Raymond Holt and had a daughter named Andrea. Are you telling me that Kyle is Carole's grandson?"

  Jessica's stomach began to churn. "I think so," she murmured, turning to Sean. "We need to call Nicole and Ryan."

  He nodded.

  She glanced back to Marian. "Can I ask a favor?"

  "Of course, dear. What is it?"

  "Please don't tell Paula that we were here or that we've found a possible link between her friend, Carole, and Kyle." She didn't know how involved Paula was in anything, but if Carole was truly Kyle's grandmother, then Jessica couldn't believe that Paula didn't know about it.

  But why hadn't Paula said something when Kyle disappeared? And if not then, why hadn't she come forward when the news about Brandon came out? They might have had Kyle home by now, unless Paula was somehow involved?

  That thought made her sick. Had her mother-in-law harbored such hatred for Jessica as a mother that she'd had her own grandson kidnapped to get him away from her?

  No, that was ludicrous, she told herself. Paula wouldn't go that far. Would she?

  Chapter Seventeen

  It was a three-hour drive from Angel's Bay to Los Angeles, and after an hour in the car, Nicole was feeling impatient and frustrated. Judging by the speed at which Ryan was driving, he was as eager as she was to get to the end of their journey. She braced her hand on the side of the car as Ryan sped around a slow, lumbering truck.

  He shot her a quick look. "Sorry, that truck was making me crazy."

  "I completely understand." She was more than a little happy to have left the truck behind. "But we can't afford a speeding ticket or an accident right now."

  He eased his foot off the gas pedal. "I just want to get there already, and I'm used to flying. If there had been an airport in Angel's Bay, I would have gotten us a plane."

  "And I would have been happy to get on board. This drive seems endless."

/>   He gave her an understanding smile. "We're halfway there, so it won't be too much longer."

  She glanced out the window, watching the scenery fly by. So much had happened in the last few days, so many huge life changes, and probably the biggest change was her relationship with Ryan.

  A week ago she'd thought that they were done, that Ryan was out of her life forever, that their past love was a faded memory.

  But there was nothing faded about Ryan now. He'd come back to her in vibrant color, reminding her not only of the man he used to be but also the woman she used to be.

  They'd broken down the walls between them and realized that they'd gotten lost in the details of their life—the big picture completely forgotten. Now they could move past the blame and pull away the curtain of resentment. They could see each other again, the way they really were. And the truth was that they'd always been a good team when they worked together, when they balanced Ryan's logic with her passion, his realism with her optimism, his desire to fly and her desire to make sure they also had roots, a home, and family.

  And then there was the undeniable chemistry between them.

  She'd pushed Ryan away the past year, because making love with him always opened up her emotions and took her to an incredible level of need and desire. She felt vulnerable in his arms, and she couldn't feel vulnerable and deal with Brandon's illness. So Ryan had been the one to shove aside.

  It hadn't been fair to either of them. She'd punished herself as much as Ryan, because she'd missed their intimacy. Tears pricked at her eyes. Ryan was truly the love of her life. She'd known it when she was seventeen, and she knew it now. What she didn't know was how they could make it work.

  Right now they were alone; it was just the two of them again. But when Brandon came home, when they got their son back, all the old problems would return as well.

  Brandon wasn't going to be miraculously cured. He might even be worse.

  "Nicole?"

  "Yes?" she asked, not looking at him, not wanting him to see the moisture in her eyes.