Ela: Forever (Waking Forever)

by Heather McVea

Ela pulled back and took Rachel’s face in between her hands. Rachel turned her head toward Ela. “Stop.”

  Ela stumbled backward unable to comprehend what she was seeing. Rachel’s eyes glowed an iridescent green; her lips were curled back in a snarl showing two incisors that extended past her lower lip. Ela took several steps back. “Rachel what –” The words were trapped in Ela’s throat as Rachel pounced on her, knocking the breath from her. She pushed against Rachel’s chest, but it was like trying to move a brick wall.

  There was a series of loud snaps, and a grinding sound in Ela’s ears as Rachel crushed her to her chest. Ela felt the pain rip through her, then hot pokers where stabbed in her throat. “It’s burning!” Ela didn’t recognize her own voice. The blood had begun to pool in the torn remnants of her esophagus, causing her voice to be low and guttural as if she were talking under water. After the searing pain of her back and ribs breaking, and the torture of having hot pokers plunged and then ripped out of her neck, Ela was only vaguely aware of raised voices around her. The stabbing pain in her chest as she tried desperately to breathe was unrelenting.

  Ela began to cough and gag as a bitter cold liquid with the texture of syrup was being forced down her throat. Coleen’s voice pushed its way through the dark. “Drink slowly, Ela. Be patient.” Ela felt numbing cold creeping in from her hands and feet toward the center of her body. She gasped one final time, then died.

  ###

  Changing Forever

  Part Two

  “There are things that happen in a person's life that are so scorched in the memory, and burned into the heart, that there's no forgetting them.”

  - John Boyne

  Ela was momentarily forgotten. All of her actions had stopped as the strings and knots of her human life were drawn taut and then snapped. The energy from that snap compressed to a slow, deliberate vibration in the darkness. The displacement became more and more insistent, dislodging the dark until it began to break apart. As it shattered, weight, texture, and color returned to Ela’s body in a purposeful push of force.

  Ela felt her world expand into an infinite space, filled with shades, smells, and sounds her mind was struggling to process. She stumbled through that space, consumed by shards of silver, scarlet, and indigo that wound their way through her mind, her eyes, down her body, and out the tips of her fingers and toes. The forest murmured around her. The sounds stirred and moved inside her.

  The frayed fringes of Ela’s memories came into focus. She remembered life had broken her. She had loved Delia and Rachel, and her yearning for them had swallowed her. They had both betrayed her, Delia in death and Rachel with death. The misery inflicted by their betrayal took root at the center of the infinite space and boundless rage sprung forth.

  “I’m burning!” Ela gasped. The back of her throat felt raw as if scorched. The burning was rapidly spreading into her chest and down to her stomach, where it was morphing into cramping that felt like jagged knives ripping at her insides.

  Coleen pushed a wet cloth to Ela’s mouth. “That’s to be expected. The initial urgency of the hunger varies from vampire to vampire. Here, take this.” Ela hesitantly opened her mouth and allowed Coleen to push the cloth past her lips. Ela, still not certain what the wetness on the rag was, tentatively began to suck it. The wetness immediately diminished the burning and cramping. Ela began chewing and biting at the cloth. She gulped the liquid, sweet with hints of copper. Not only was it lessening the burning, but she felt energy surging from her chest out to her extremities. Coleen pulled the cloth out of Ela’s mouth.

  Ela snapped and bit at the air. “Give it back!”

  “That’s enough for now. There is more where that came from,” Coleen said casually.

  “What was it? It was –” Ela couldn’t find the words to describe the effect the liquid had on her. She felt alive in a way she never imagined. She had been jolted back from the void. Her skin was tingling. The moss, dirt, and wood smells of the forest were vivid and forming actual tastes in her mouth.

  Though blindfolded, Ela sensed Coleen’s nearness so intensely she could clearly see in her mind’s eye Coleen’s long, thick brown-auburn mane of hair and the iridescent blue of her eyes. “Don’t you know, Ela?” Coleen walked over and knelt next to Ela. “That was blood. Not even particularly fresh blood.” Coleen sighed. “It does the trick though at this point. Later, you will have to be more mindful not to consume dead blood.” Coleen hesitated and when she finally spoke her voice wavered with concern. “Are you so enamored with the blood you didn’t even hear what you’ve become?”

  Coleen gently stroked Ela’s hand. The touch sent a shiver through the entirety of Ela’s body that verged on what she could only compare to the beginnings of an orgasm. “What did you do to me?” Ela bit her lower lip trying to squelch the stirrings in her groin and was immediately aware of the two elongated incisors jutting past her upper lip.

  “You’re vampire, Ela. That means you will never age, you will never die, and you will never sleep. You don’t feel pain like you once did. The heat, the cold – they mean nothing to you now. You are forever Ela.” Coleen gently stroked Ela’s hand again.

  “Where’s Rachel?” Ela’s words seethed with the rage burning her insides.

  “Ivan, Rachel’s maker, has taken her away from here. She will live an eternity with what she did to you. I had warned her it was too soon to be around a human, but she is stubborn.” Coleen took Ela’s hand. “At that critical moment, I couldn’t see the point in your end. You had shown so much persistence and conviction when you were trying to find out what had become of Rachel. You were fearless, really.” Coleen bent closer to Ela and gently kissed her cheek.

  Ela gasped as Coleen’s lips made contact with her cheek, sending a shot of electricity through her. “Let me up, I can’t –” The frustration and powerlessness she had experienced throughout her life was building in her with an intensity it never had when she was human. Her arms and legs trembled with it.

  Coleen moved away. “Forgive me. It’s too soon for that. It has been a very long time since I was a maker. I have been grooming others to carry on the bloodlines. I forgot how intoxicating the process is.” Coleen sighed. “It’s not fair to you. Every sense is heightened and exaggerated right now. In the end – like your need for blood – this will lessen.”

  The mere mention of blood triggered the burning in Ela’s throat and stomach anew. As her blood began to burn, she pleaded with Coleen. “Can I have more, please?” She heard Coleen move, and though she no longer needed to breathe, Ela took a deep breath in through her nose. The blood’s minerally smell washed over her like warm water, and she pulled against her restraints, desperate to claim it.

  Coleen placed the rag to Ela’s lips. “Take it slower this time.” In spite of the warning, Ela lapped and bit at the rag with even more desperation. “You are eager.” Coleen moved away, leaving the blood soaked rag in Ela’s mouth.

  Within a minute, Ela had sucked and chewed every last drop of blood from the rag. The burning did lessen, but did not completely disappear. She turned her head and spit the remains of the torn cloth onto the ground. Her senses further sharpened, and she knew she was tied to a large tree. “How long are you going to keep me tied up?” Clenching her jaw, Ela practically spat the words at Coleen.

  “Until I am confident you won’t run amuck in the nearby villages,” Coleen said matter-of-factly. “Though, perhaps it’s a lesson you should learn early on. If you murder indiscriminately this soon, the memory will stay with you longer.”

  “Why would earlier matter?” Shards of tree bark splintered as Ela tugged at her restraints.

  “You’ve brought parts of your human self with you, along with your emotional memories. Some of those will fade, but others will linger. In some cases, your memories will intensify, but you won’t be bound by the same sense of right and wrong as when you were human.” Colleen’s tone was even and academic, as if she were speaking to a student. “At this point you can s
till remember the angst of guilt and remorse. So murdering innocent people will resonate with you and possibly curtail your future feeding.”

  Ela knew what Coleen said about memories was true. Recollections of events from her childhood seemed to have only happened yesterday, their impact intense, but she could feel the edges of the memories starting to blur. The hate she had for Rachel, though, that was a feeling she had not manifested until becoming a vampire. It fractured in her like jagged glass.

  Ela forced herself to be still before speaking. Appearing calm could only expedite her release. “Then you are condoning murder for the sake of a lesson?”

  Coleen laughed, the sound like a series of tinkling bells to Ela’s ears. “Well, when you put it like that, it sounds awful.” Coleen walked over to El, and removed the blindfold. “But regardless of how it sounds – yes, for the sake of a lesson.”

  Ela blinked several times, trying to bring her new world into focus. Roots and twigs littered the forest floor like veins branching out in infinite layers. The texture and grain of the tree she was tied to looked like deep valleys and mountains. The fine mist, seemingly perpetual in the forests of Poland, was small glass pebbles floating in the air. The wind crept in and around the canopy of branches sounding like a long, restless breath. Just beyond the tree tops, Ela could see thousands of stars moving as if she were looking through a kaleidoscope.

  “It’s beautiful,” Ela whispered in astonishment.

  Coleen stepped in front of Ela. “And so are you.” Coleen reached into her coat pocket and pulled a small mirror out. “See?”

  The woman looking back at Ela was vaguely familiar, but surely this wasn’t her own reflection. Her cornflower-colored eyes were now a lighter blue with intense accents of lavender. Her skin was flawless. Her blonde hair that had become dull from the many months of inadequate washes, poor nutrition, and little sun exposure in the labor camp was now lighter, fuller, and longer. The small scar she had over her left eyebrow from a carriage accident when she was nine was completely gone. Straining against the restraints, Ela pulled her shirt sleeve up and looked at the inside of her left forearm. The series of black numbers the Nazis had tattooed into her skin were gone. She was entirely new.

  Ela lifted her upper lip, and plucked at the elongated incisors with her index finger. “Are my teeth always like this?” She found the extended incisors both disconcerting and erotic at the same time.

  Coleen reached out and gently stroked Ela’s lower lip with her thumb. “No, just when you’re angry, excited – or aroused.” Ela took the tip of Coleen’s thumb in her mouth. Coleen tasted like hazelnut and cinnamon. After a few seconds, Coleen sighed and moved her hand away. “That will be better when we can take those chains off.”

  Ela was consumed with the need to be near Coleen. She looked down at her bound ankles and was surprised to see a thin strand of silver was all that held her. She flexed her legs and tried desperately to break the thin band. “What is this?” Her hands were tied behind her back, tethered to the tree, and she couldn’t pull free.

  “We aren’t without our weaknesses, none of which I would encourage you to advertise.” Pulling on the strand that bound Ela’s wrists to the tree, Coleen smiled. “Silver is a very effective restraint. Ropes –even steel – you would make short work of, but not silver.”

  Ela’s frustration and anger at being restrained coursed through her. She pulled against the silver restraints. “I want these off me!” Sliding down the tree into a crouching position, she walked her feet up the tree, and under her. Ela planted a foot on either side of the trunk so she was nearly parallel to the ground. She pushed herself into a standing position, extending her arms so far behind her that she thought her shoulders might dislocate. Just as she was about to push off the tree with her legs, Coleen shoved her back against the tree with her forearm pressed across Ela’s throat.

  “Relax. In time you will be free.” Coleen pushed the full length of her body into Ela’s. “Trust me, this is for your own good. Not to mention the good of any human within a twenty mile radius.”

  The burning was returning and fed Ela’s desperation to be free. Gathering all the strength she had, she pulled herself forward and strained against the wrist restraints. The silver bands around her wrists snapped away from the trunk of the tree. Ela found herself face down on top of Coleen.

  Coleen lifted both her and Ela off the ground in a single motion and pinned Ela under her. “Ela! Enough.” Coleen clamped her hands down on Ela’s shoulders, her teeth bared. “Control yourself.” In spite of Coleen’s superior strength, Ela thrashed about until Coleen grabbed the remnants of the silver cord from Ela’s wrists and wrap it around her throat. “If you don’t stop this, I’ll be forced to end you.”

  Ela felt the silver digging into her neck. She had no need to breathe, but the cord was cutting into her throat and causing her significant pain. Willing her body to go limp, she conceded the struggle to Coleen. Baring her teeth, Ela hissed, “Fine. Get off me!”

  Coleen cautiously got to her knees and, maintaining the tension on the cord around Ela’s throat, brought both of them to their feet. “That’s better.” She brushed dirt off her pant leg. “You’re tenacious, even for a young vampire.”

  Ela stood rigid while glaring at Coleen. “What’s the point?”

  Coleen’s eyebrow shot up inquisitively. “How do you mean?”

  Ela took a step toward Coleen. “Forever. What’s the point of forever – of not dying and having to meet my maker – if I’m still bound by some archaic sense of morality?”

  Coleen smiled. “It’s not about morality. It’s about natural resources. Unchecked, our kind could eat our way through the human race with ease in a relatively short period of time.” Coleen closed the space between her and Ela. “So, we pace ourselves.” She reached for Ela, placed her hand on the back of her neck, pulled Ela closer, and kissed her.

  Ela had not been particularly fond of Coleen while she and Rachel had been working in the camp, but the feeling of her lips sent shivers through Ela. She felt the pressure of Coleen’s lips against hers, and she tasted the most exquisite blend of cinnamon, brown sugar, and hazelnut. Remembering that Coleen had shown very little interest in her, but was very interested in Rachel, caused the excitement of the kiss to be quickly replaced. Now Ela tasted the bitterness of resentment at the back of her throat, knowing she was not even her maker’s favorite. In that moment Ela knew she would not squelch the bitterness, nor collapse under its weight. She would lean into it, find clarity in it. Ela pulled back from Coleen and turned her head slightly to the right to fully consider the older woman.

  Coleen furrowed her brow. “What?”

  Before Ela could respond, Ivan, the vampire who had made Rachel, suddenly appeared behind Coleen. He had made Ela nervous - when she was human. His voice had little inflection and was always too flat for Ela’s taste. There was no hint of what he was really feeling or thinking. He was tall, with sandy blond hair, his eyes a piercing blue. Ela could hardly stand to look at him. “Excuse me. My apologies for the interruption.”

  Coleen slowly stepped back from Ela, not taking her eyes from the woman as she addressed Ivan. “Has she been managed?”

  “Yes.” Ivan glanced at Ela and then back at Coleen. “We’re ready for the hunt as well.” Ivan stood motionless as he spoke.

  Coleen smiled at Ela. “The hunt. I think that is exactly what you need.” Coleen stroked Ela’s cheek. “After all, a vampire can’t live on blood soaked rags alone.”

  Ela took several steps back from Coleen, who had allowed slack to form in the silver cord. “Hunt? Humans?”

  Coleen laughed. “Of course not. You’re not ready, my dear. We have to work you up to that.” Coleen reached for Ela’s hand. “You’re like a child. You must walk before you run. You’ll cut your teeth on elk and wild boar.”

  Ela shook her head. “Don’t mock me.” She looked away in disgust. “You’re no better than those pigs at the camp. Telling me wha
t I could and couldn’t do.”

  Coleen smiled. “I’m not mocking you, and this isn’t a prison. It’s reality. Left unchecked with humans, you would tear through entire villages – leaving corpses and questions in your wake.” Coleen pulled gently on the silver cord. “This is for your own good.”

  Ela grabbed the cord and leveled her gaze on Coleen. “The world has, for the first time, opened up for me. Why are you set on repressing me?”

  Coleen considered Ela’s question for several seconds before responding. “You’ll stay tethered to me at all times. There’s nothing more to discuss; otherwise, you don’t hunt at all.” Coleen tugged on the silver cord, pulling Ela forward. “Do you understand?”

  Ela grabbed the cord and pulled back against Coleen. The two women glared at each other. Piercing blue eyes met with electric lavender ones. Ela knew she wasn’t stronger than Coleen and would have to bide her time. Defiantly she nodded and released the cord. “Fine.”

  Coleen turned to Ivan. “You’ll come along and keep an eye on her.” Ivan nodded and glanced at Ela. Coleen turned and began walking toward the edge of the forest, pulling Ela along by the silver cord. “Follow me.”

  Coleen picked up speed as she, Ivan, and Ela ran deeper into the forest. Ela followed closely, expecting to feel tightness in her lungs signaling her need to breathe, but the only discomfort she had was the burning in her throat and stomach. She increased her speed to keep up with Coleen by simply thinking of running faster. In the blink of an eye, Coleen changed directions and began a rapid climb up a densely wooded hill. Ela easily turned and kept pace with her, leaping over exposed tree roots and fallen trees.

  Coleen stopped at the peak of the hill and loosened the silver cord to allow more slack between her and Ela. The three vampires stood overlooking a small clearing. The remnants of high grass could be seen sprouting through the thinning, gray snow. Ela heard what sounded like rhythmic thunder in the distance. “Do you hear that, Ela? Now, take a deep breath. It will help,” Coleen instructed.