Two Evils

by Christina Moore

  He moved to lean against the fender with her. “I know the feeling.”

  “I’m sorry, John,” she said then.

  Looking at her, he said, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

  “But I do. I told you before that I’m too broken—I’m sure by now you’ve figured out what that means. And the truth is, I want to be able to move on. I want to be living my life again, not hiding away from pain. It doesn’t work anyway. Pain follows you. Or it waits for you. Either way, it reminds you that no matter where you go, it’s still there.”

  She sighed again. “You are a good man, John. I may not know you very well, but I am sure I can say that about you. A good man like you deserves a good woman, one who’s not going to end up breaking his heart.”

  Billie looked at him then, and the tears in her eyes caused his chest to constrict painfully. “I want to move on, but I’m not ready. I don’t feel like I’m ready to let him go. If I can’t say goodbye to Travis, then I’m clearly not relationship material. You deserve better than me.”

  The liquid in her eyes spilled over and she looked away with a sniffle. John reached up and took her chin in his hand gently, turning her face back to his. With his thumb he wiped away the tear from her left eye, with his other hand he dismissed the one on the right. And throwing all common sense to the wind, he bent his head and touched his lips to hers.

  Though the kiss was soft and tender, heat flooded his veins and ran straight to his groin. Jesus, he was hard for her already. But he wouldn’t push it. She had just told him she wasn’t ready to move on—so why the hell was he kissing her?

  It killed him to release those sweet lips, but John let her go. Billie’s eyes as she looked up at him were wide and full of questions. “I’m sorry,” he said huskily. “I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help myself.”

  He let out a ragged breath and stepped away from her, moving around to the side of the Explorer and pressing the remote button to unlock the doors. Looking back he said, “You should go back to your room, Billie. Get some sleep, if you can.”

  With that, he got in through the driver’s side rear door, shutting it behind him before reaching between the front seats to slip the key into the ignition and turn it far enough to power the radio. Selecting a rock and roll station, he moved back and laid himself uncomfortably across the middle seat, throwing his right arm over his face as he tried to let the music drown out his thoughts.

  His head snapped up when the door opened again. John sat up as Billie climbed into the car with him, and he watched as she shut the door then settled on her knees in front of him. “I can’t promise you forever—I can’t even promise you tomorrow. I don’t want to hurt you, John, but God help me I want you to make love to me again. I want to be happy again like you made me yesterday, even if it’s all an illusion.”

  For a moment he could only stare at her, gauging her seriousness. His brain told him this would be a mistake, a huge one, but his body didn’t want to listen. All he could hear was the urge to kiss her, deeply. To that voice he listened, reaching for her face and drawing her to him. John brought his mouth down on hers hard, forcing his tongue past her lips and twining it with hers. Billie moaned and held his shoulders tightly as he plundered her mouth, his hands moving to roam under her t-shirt. He found her breasts unencumbered by a bra, and took delight in squeezing and pinching her nipples into tight, hard peaks.

  But just touching them wasn’t enough. He had to taste them again, and broke the kiss only long enough to pull her shirt over her head. Then he kissed her again before trailing his lips and tongue down the side of her neck, across her collar bone, and then down the sweet-smelling spot between her breasts before turning his head to the side and capturing one pert pink bud in his mouth.

  Billie cried out softly and arched into him. He rewarded her enthusiasm by taking her nipple between his teeth and biting down softly. She cried out again and dug her fingernails into his shoulders. The mewling sounds she made as he bit and tongued her nipple again and again before switching to the other side had him hard as a rock, and it was all he could do to control the urge to fuck her hard and fast. Whatever time they had together, he wanted to enjoy it.

  At his urging, they switched positions, and she was now sitting on the seat. John reached for the waistband of the sweatpants she’d donned to sleep in and pulled them down, careful of the wound on her thigh. Much to his delight she had chosen not to wear panties either, and after maneuvering into as comfortable a position as he could in the confines of the vehicle, he nudged her legs apart and dipped his head down to the apex of her thighs, swiping his tongue up her slick folds and swirling it around her clitoris. Billie groaned and grabbed his head, holding him to her as he assaulted her most intimate skin.

  The taste of her was exquisite, like the finest of fine wines. John thought he’d never be able to get enough of licking her, of teasing that bundle of nerves just under her pubic curls, but as sweet as she was, the demands of his rigid shaft could no longer be ignored. Sitting up, he roughly pulled his shirt over his head and then unfastened his jeans, pushing them down far enough for his erection to spring free. Billie turned so she was laying down on the seat, and lifted her arms to welcome him as he positioned himself between her legs, leaned down to kiss her, and drove himself home.

  She cried out loudly into his mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck. He slipped his arms under her shoulders and held the end of the seat with one hand and her shoulder with the other as he moved, drawing out and slamming back in again. Dear God, it felt so good, so very good… He moved out again, the head of his cock barely touching her labia, and Billie whimpered in protest. John grinned down at her as he slid back inside her moist heat little by little, repeating the maneuver twice more and pulling out a third time, until finally she moved her hands from his neck in order to grab his ass.

  “Much better,” he whispered, and then he kissed her yet again. And he slid back in again, moving in and out slowly at first to build a comfortable rhythm. Then the lust-induced heat flooding his veins took control, and he moved faster, pounding her harder with each thrust. He could feel her tightening around him, knew by the bite of her nails into his flesh and the cries issuing from her throat that she was on the verge of climax. His own was just moments away, so close his balls were aching, but he wanted to get her there first.

  “Come with me, John,” Billie whispered in his ear.

  That was all it took—John’s hold on his control snapped and he groaned into her shoulder as he shot jet after jet of his seed into her womb. Billie’s cries were stifled through gritted teeth as she came, milking him with each flexing pull of her vaginal walls.

  It was a long time before they came down, before their labored breathing slowed to some semblance of normal. John lifted his head and looked down at her, fearing he would find regret but discovering nothing but a smile on her face. She lifted her head and kissed him softly.

  “So now what do we do?” he asked as he brushed her hair back from her face.

  Billie chuckled. “Now, Spy Boy, I think it best if we tidy ourselves up and get back to our rooms.”

  “To fight for ever-elusive sleep?” John countered with a laugh. “As little as I’ve had in the last few days, I’m beginning to wonder if I even know what sleep is anymore.”

  Her face fell. “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “Don’t be sorry,” he said, touching her lips with his. “Because I’m not sorry at all. Whatever happens in the future, Billie, I’ve had this time with you and I am grateful for it.”

  Her arms came around his neck again and she hugged him tightly to her. For a long moment they stayed that way, just holding each other, before reluctantly getting dressed again.

  FOURTEEN

  When morning rolled around a few hours later, John awoke to sunlight searing his eyelids. Although he’d mentioned a lack of regular sleep to Billie, after he’d returned to his and Gabe’s room and crawled back into his bed, he’d fa
llen asleep quickly. A glance at his watch told him that as happened the last time they’d been together, he’d gotten a solid three hours.

  It would have to do.

  Who knew sex could be a sedative? he mused as he rose, looking over to see Gabe doing the same. He seemed much better rested than John felt, and it occurred to him that the other man probably hadn’t slept very well himself since going on the run. Having a real bed to crash on had obviously been its own kind of sedative, as Gabe had fallen asleep seconds after his head had hit the pillow.

  They nodded good morning to each other and took turns getting a quick shower, and about half an hour after getting up they were walking out the door. John chuckled and shook his head, none too surprised to see Billie leaning on the Explorer’s fender as she had just hours before, this time with her duffel at her feet.

  “Jeez, I was beginning to wonder when you two would get up,” she said. “There’s a Waffle House down the road. Let’s get some breakfast before we make this last leg of the trip.”

  “I’m all for getting some chow,” Gabe said as he headed for the back of the car. John and Billie followed, and he was happy to see her looking…if not rested then better, at least, than she had yesterday. She seemed more herself, though he held no illusions that her struggles with her past were over.

  After all, they still had Hocking Hills, the place where she’d accepted Travis’ proposal, to face in an hour or so.

  Once they’d all deposited their bags in the cargo area, Billie claimed the front seat again and John took the driver’s seat, relegating Gabe to the back. It was just minutes down to the restaurant and just a few more before they were inside. Billie led them over to an unoccupied corner booth and slid in next to the window. For a split second he wasn’t sure whether he should sit next to her or give that privilege to Gabe, but the other man made his choice for him by slipping onto the opposite bench.

  “Well, are you gonna sit down or aren’t ‘cha?” Billie said sweetly.

  With a shake of his head, he dropped down next to her and studied the placemat menu on the table. His meal was chosen in seconds, and it wasn’t long before the others had decided and their order was placed. No one talked much, and John guessed that Gabe and Billie were just as occupied with thoughts of what was to come as he was. He knew it was going to be hard on Billie to return to a place where she’d felt so much joy, so much love. He wanted to comfort her, but he had no clue what, if anything, would help. Probably nothing more than he had already done, giving her the fantasy she had asked for.

  He only wished it could last. But John knew the chances of there being anything between them after this mess was over were slim to none. Billie had declared she was not ready—he had to accept it. He thought he had last night, thought he had accepted that providing her an escape from her inner turmoil was enough. That having her now, knowing it was all he would get, was enough.

  However, sitting there beside her and feeling the warmth of her body next to his—remembering how she had felt trembling beneath him after the climax he had brought her to—he was beginning to realize that ‘now’ just might not be enough after all.

  As they were finishing their food, Gabe surprised him by offering to pay. “You have money?” Billie asked, echoing his thoughts.

  Gabe nodded as he stood. “I took a stash out when I left Bolling—we all did. How do you think I fed myself those first four days? I’ve got just enough left to pay for breakfast.”

  “If you’re sure, man,” John said.

  “It’s no problem, G-Man. I’ve got this,” Gabe replied. “Besides, the waitress was giving me the eye—I might just be able to score her number. You two go on out to the car. I’ll be there in a few.”

  John looked at Billie, who only shrugged. He then slid out of the booth and stood aside so she could do the same. As they were getting into the Explorer a minute later, she glanced over her shoulder while putting her seatbelt on and laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked, clipping his own seatbelt into place.

  She continued to chuckle as she looked at him. “I can’t believe I’m just now thinking of this, but do you realize we had sex in a car with no rear window?”

  His eyes widened as he looked over his shoulder. He’d forgotten about the shattered hatchback window—hadn’t even given it a second thought when they’d loaded their duffels in at the motel. Looking back at Billie and seeing the amused expression on her face, he couldn’t help but laugh as well.

  “Thank goodness no one saw us,” he said.

  “It was pretty late, even for a motel. Chances of being seen are probably slim,” she said as she settled back into her seat. “Then again, if someone did happen to catch a glimpse, at least we gave them a great show.

  “That we certainly did,” he agreed with a grin.

  John’s cell phone rang as Gabe was walking out of the restaurant, the grin on his face telling. He must’ve gotten those digits after all, he mused as he swiped his finger across the screen to answer.

  “Hey, Rex—what’s up?”

  “You know how you wanted me to check into General Wainright’s trip to the hospital the other night?” Rex began. “Turns out his daughter actually went into labor late the evening before.”

  “That’s the night I flew down to St. Thomas,” John said with a frown.

  “Indeed. Also—and I had to agree to go on a blind date with my contact’s sister for this, so you really owe me—I got a copy of the security footage for the maternity floor at Georgetown. The general’s daughter had her son shortly before his arrival and he only stayed an hour.”

  “Not incriminating in and of itself, but definitely interesting,” John observed.

  “Oh, I have more,” Rex continued. “Because you believe your new girlfriend’s gut instinct, I took the liberty of running a passive scan of the general’s financial records. What I could access without authorization looked clean, so I checked banks and credit unions in the area for accounts with Wainright’s name or any variation thereof. Got nothing—he’s apparently only got one bank account, into which his pay is direct deposited—so I expanded the parameters, and got a hit on an offshore account in the Bahamas under the name Wain Sterling.”

  John felt his frown deepen. He was getting a bad feeling of his own about the general, but he knew he couldn’t jump to any conclusions given what little information they had. So, playing the devil’s advocate, he said, “Again, very interesting but not incriminating. A lot of people with the means have offshore accounts—he could just be hiding money from his wife for all we know.”

  “Would an account just being used to hide money from the missus be on an ICE watch list?” his friend countered. “The moment I tried to look closer at the Sterling account, an alert came on my screen denying further access by order of Immigration and Customs Enforcement.”

  “Oh-kay, that’s definitely more than interesting,” John said. Feeling two sets of eyes on him, he added, “Don’t be surprised if you get a visitor later, or a cease-and-desist order. I have to go—we’re about an hour outside our destination. Keep me posted if you can.”

  “Will do, John. You do the same.”

  Confirming that he would call when they had the missing soldiers, John hung up and slid the phone back into his pocket, then started the car and backed out of the parking space.

  “What’s going on? What did Rex have to say?” Billie demanded.

  After filling them in on Rex’s report, John added, “And you know as well as I do that if the Sterling account is on ICE’s watch list—”

  “—either the general is too, or ICE doesn’t know who the account actually belongs to,” she finished for him. “They only have the name Wain Sterling to go by.”

  Gabe sat forward from the middle seat. “If in fact this offshore account belongs to Wainright—and the appallingly unoriginal name association is highly suggestive of that being so—and ICE’s got it on some watch list, doesn’t that mean that the general is into some
thing more than a little shady?”

  John nodded. “It would seem so.”

  “Then what the hell do his illegal activities have to do with us?” Gabe wondered. “Why bother hiding Eddie’s death from his family if there’s no relation between us and him?”

  “But there is,” Billie said, turning in her seat to face him. “Think about it—not only did he keep Eddie’s death quiet, but the others as well. Did you hear anything about those two deaths on the news, John?”

  “Come to think of it, the first I’d heard of the incident was at my mission briefing,” he replied. “You’d think something like that would have made the news.”

  “I’m lost back here,” Gabe broke in. “You guys want to clarify so the dumb jarhead can comprehend your meaning?”

  John glanced at Billie. “What are you thinking, babe?”

  She raised her eyebrows at his use of the endearment but did not comment on it. “Think about this situation objectively,” she said. “General Wainright is doing something illegal, something he obviously doesn’t want anyone to find out about. He’s also spearheading a science project in which living human beings are being experimented on using an untested drug with unknown side effects. Failure of that experiment could mean that MARSOC or SecNav takes a closer look at him—if he screwed this up, what else has he screwed up? That sort of thing.”

  Gabe snorted derisively. “And we all know how spectacularly that experiment failed. Three people are dead and one was hospitalized. So what you’re saying is, if word got out about the experiment backfiring and the brass decided to take a closer look, then they would possibly sniff out the illegal shit.”

  She nodded. “Affirmative.”

  “There’s something you’re not considering,” John said then.

  “What’s that?” Billie asked.

  “Something you said a moment ago’s just got me thinking… You said the drug had unknown side effects, but what if they were known? What if Wainright knew from the beginning that IQ-56 had the potential to cause psychotic episodes?”