Land of My Dreams

by Norma Gail

  Kari set down her teacup, throwing up her hands in surrender. “I give up.”

  Bonny tried to describe her uncertainty and frustration. “I have a knack for choosing the wrong men. When I went to the grocery store yesterday, I ran into Christy. Adam quit church and is already dating again. He would have broken my heart. Janet says Kieran is expanding the farm and stays away from women. Maybe we’re all better off alone.”

  Shopping and church activities provided safe conversation as they finished their tea, avoiding upsetting topics. “Let’s head home before the traffic through the canyon gets bad, since it’s Friday.” Kari stood, picking up her purse. “Ready?”

  Bonny followed, sticking her finger in the last dollop of clotted cream on her saucer and licking it off. “I love Kieran, but I think it’s best if he comes to me.”

  They rode home in silence. She kept her face to the window, wiping her eyes and sniffling. She was no longer afraid of being alone. She refused to rush in where God didn’t lead her.

  Chapter Thirty-five: Right Perspective

  Dressed in old, grubby jeans and an old flannel shirt, Bonny was heading for the vegetable garden when the doorbell rang. She laid down her dirty gloves and opened the front door. Kieran stood there smiling, unshaven, with a stray curl hanging over his forehead. His eyes, the deep blue of the Scottish flag, crinkled at the sight of her. She felt the old, familiar tingle of excitement.

  “I’ve come to take you home, mo gràdh—to Scotland.” He spoke with a strong burr, his voice cracking with emotion, musical in its deep timbre. He reached for her hand as his lips broke into a wide smile.

  “Kieran, what …” Finding herself at a complete lack for words, she backed into the room in surprise, but also by way of inviting him in.

  “Janet said you refused Adam’s proposal. We belong together, Bonny.” The love in his voice, the hope in his eyes, and the power of his presence overwhelmed her.

  She freed her hand and continued to back further into the room. “You still want me?”

  He reached her side in one long stride, enfolding her in his arms.

  No logical words came to mind, and she gazed up at him, helpless. “Kieran, I …”

  He laid a finger on her lips. “Shhh.” Scenes from her dreams moved in slow motion as his face lowered toward her own. Without hesitation, her arms went around his neck, her face turned upward, and the earth turned upside-down.

  When he pulled away, she searched his eyes, feeling she was floating through a dream. “You’re certain?”

  “Aye, and how did you treat me worse than I did you?” His incredible eyes remained fixed on hers, drawing her into their bottomless depths, his love sweeping over her in an ocean wave. “Why did you refuse Adam?”

  “I’m a possession to him. What mattered to me meant nothing.” Dizzying electricity crackled through every nerve in her body as his lips touched hers again. Her fingers tangled his hair and caressed his cheek. She reveled in the reality of his presence, heightened by the scent of his aftershave—Eau de Quinine, she remembered.

  When he stopped, he cupped her face in one hand—those rough yet gentle hands. “Now, why can’t you marry him?”

  “I—I missed you, this …” She laid her finger to his lips, trembling.

  His mouth claimed hers again, soft and sweet. One hand rested around her shoulders, the other around her waist, lifting her from the floor. He whispered, “Why?”

  “I can’t live without you.” She was quivering.

  He moved his hands to her shoulders, holding her at arm’s length, and a flicker of a smile moved across his lips. “Why could you not live without me, Bonny?”

  “Because I love you.”

  “Ach lass, why didn’t you come to me?” She heard the burr of the Highlands strong in his beloved voice. He kissed her again, pressing her against him so tight their pounding hearts beat as one.

  “There have been too many mistakes.” She felt the warmth creeping up her neck and cheeks.

  His eyes glowed with a tender light. “Didn’t I tell you I would never love another woman? I have loved you every moment of every day. I never dared to imagine I would hear you say you loved me again.”

  “I never stopped.” Overwhelming emotions made it difficult to speak. He’s here, and he loves me.

  “Then promise me …” His voice was so soft the blood pounding in her ears threatened to drown it out.

  “Anything …” She laid her hand on his rough cheek.

  He moved one hand to the back of her head, his breath soft against her face, his voice tender and sweet. “Promise you’ll return to Scotland with me. We’ll start over, dating and talking about how we’ve changed. One day, you’ll be my wife.”

  “I promise …” Her words were lost in his kiss, communicating the love only complete commitment to another creates.

  Kieran and Bonny drove to Ribs, a nearby restaurant, for barbecue. “You only have a slight limp.” He offered his arm as they climbed the steps. “Will it improve with time?”

  “It’s much better than it was.” She held his arm for reassurance as much as for balance. “I still take walks, but not as far as I used to.”

  “When I think of what you survived—God has such purpose for your life.” His grip tightened.

  They chose to eat on the patio, enjoying the warm September evening. When the hostess led them to a table, they moved their chairs close together. “The purpose is becoming clearer by the moment.” She lifted his hand to her lips, feeling its strength, the skin roughened by work, and the thick golden hairs against her cheek. “I’ve seen the devastating effects of acting before seeking God’s will. It means so much for you to forgive me.”

  There was such love in his smile and light in his eyes. “I forgave you before I reached the airport. I prayed you would be blessed, whoever you chose.”

  “I told Adam you were as much a part of me as breathing.”

  “You did?” His eyes crinkled, his words ringing with laughter.

  “Yes, when I told him I couldn’t marry him.” She gauged the effect of her words by the surprise on his face. “I didn’t tell him I saw pictures of you flashing through my mind when he kissed me. I would see you in your kilt, standing on a misty hillside with your bagpipes, surrounded by sheep. I had to push him away because I realized where my heart truly lay.”

  He threw his head back and laughed until tears ran down his cheeks. “You saw me in your mind when Adam kissed you? Ach, lass, what a lovely answer to prayer. What goes through your mind when I kiss you?”

  “Nothing, except that you love me. I want to do it again and again for the rest of my life.” Her answer earned her another, without regard for the waitress bringing their meal.

  “I prayed for you to remember me.”

  The pulse pounded in Bonny’s ears as the undeniable truth overwhelmed her. “That would explain the nagging doubts, perhaps even the images of you with your kilt and bagpipes …” She stopped, hesitant to explain.

  The corners of his eyes crinkled as if he read her mind. “God did exactly what I asked.”

  Her cheeks grew warm. “You’ll gloat over it for the rest of your life won’t you?” She followed up with a playful poke in the ribs.

  “Aye, I will, but because God did it.” His lips curled in a broad smile. “Adam doesn’t understand what we have, does he? Poor chap.”

  “Not even close.” She shut her eyes, savoring his unique scent of soap, aftershave, and the outdoors. “I dreamed of you, felt your presence, and heard your voice. Seeds of doubt began to grow, and I couldn’t sleep. The more controlling Adam became, the more I remembered our easy-going relationship, your calming presence, how you protect me, and how happy and loved I feel when I’m with you.”

  “Bonny, when was our relationship ever easy-going?” He caressed her hand between his thumb and forefinger. “We had differences over my faith, my deception, and my depression.”

  “When we first fell in love, whether hiking in t
he mountains, talking until the wee hours of the morning, or riding horses at the farm, I knew I was safe and loved. I never felt safe with Adam, because he wasn’t honest with me. You were gentle and understanding. I knew you would believe someday.”

  He shook his head. “I’m still in shock. I prayed for you to remember me, but I never imagined such a powerful answer.”

  “God is amazing, and our story is only beginning.”

  Cuddled up on the glider, with her head resting on Kieran’s shoulder, Bonny relaxed into the warmth of his arms.

  “You had no reason to believe it at the time, but God changed me on that airplane. When you asked me to leave, my faith didn’t waver. I’ll serve Him, no matter what.”

  She tilted her head back to see his face. “I’ve prayed so hard for you.”

  “God was my one hope.” His voice grew quiet. “At first I thought you’d change your mind. I lay awake, longing to hold you. As time passed, I did my best to forget and turn my love for you into love for God. It was impossible to go back to the anger and emptiness I lived with before. I had lost you, but God would not leave me alone. I’ve tried to honor Him. I help Graeme lead a Bible study and I’m taking seminary classes.”

  “Really?” What a delight to see his laughing eyes, to inhale the woodsy scent she still connected with him, and to know he loved her.

  “After what God has done in my life, I will be only what it pleases him to make me.” His voice carried an undertone of passion, throbbing in the strong arm resting on her shoulder, and in his chest beneath her cheek. “It’s difficult for many of the farmers and crofters around Stonehaven to attend church. I’m building a chapel, just north of the single-track, near the bridge over the loch. It will be white with a steeple holding a cross so high it’s visible for miles. It has to stand out, not hide the way the farmhouse does. I’m calling it Hope Chapel, because God’s hope fills my heart in place of the anger and doubt. It’s an outreach of Faith Chapel. Graeme and I feel there’s a lot of potential.”

  “Kieran, that’s amazing. I wasted so much time.”

  He placed one finger under her chin, raising her face until her eyes were level with his. “Aye, but a sovereign God doesn’t make mistakes. He will bless us because we waited on His time.”

  “What an exciting life, to work alongside you on the farm, and also for the Lord.” She reached up to caress his cheek.

  His voice grew softer. “My precious, wee Bonny, we’ll explore those old hurts before I put my ring on your finger. You will see my faith in action. I’ve spoken to Graeme. He’ll guide us through the healing process.”

  “You discussed us with Graeme?”

  “He’s become a close friend and helped me put things in perspective. Our life won’t be easy, hen. Sheep farming is difficult. The wife of a pastor in a rural area won’t be easy either. Our people will be scattered far from the church, and at times, they’ll have no one else to ask for help.”

  “I’ll thrive on the work as long as we have the Lord and each other. You’ve still never said how you came to be here.” She brought the hand lying on her shoulder to her lips.

  “After Janet told me you had refused Adam, I tried to ring you up. I became worried when you never answered your phone, so I tried Dan. He said you wouldn’t come to me, but I knew my time had come.”

  “I changed my number to keep Adam from calling. I was determined to place my future in God’s hands, even if it meant I spent the rest of my life alone.”

  He laid his forehead against hers. “What did we pray for when you agreed to marry me before?”

  “God’s blessings.”

  His lips brushed her hair. “We didn’t pray for His will, His way, or His timing. They were our plans. We both knew we should wait. This time the Lord made it right.”

  “And my Scottish knight in shining armor came for me.”

  “The bridegroom came to claim his bride.” He wrapped both arms around her, exhaling a deep breath she interpreted as contentment.

  “What now?” This new Kieran would give her the right answers. His breath tickled her ear.

  “There’s an old Scottish saying, ‘The only cure for love is marriage.’”

  She snuggled closer, enjoying the well-remembered comfort of his embrace. “Old Scottish sayings are very wise.”

  “Aye, I’m a wise man. The moment I saw you, I knew you were the woman I had waited for. When can we leave? Do you still want the wedding in Scotland?” He caressed her cheek with his fingertip.

  “I can be ready in a week, two at the most. As for the wedding, Scotland, of course, where we first fell in love.” She shook her head, still overwhelmed. “I can’t believe we’re together again. For a Marine, Dan doesn’t follow orders very well. I told him I needed time.”

  He brought the hand she laid on his chest to his lips, kissing the finger which would one day wear his ring again. “Oh, aye, he does. I asked where you were and he told me. He picked me up at the airport and invited me to stay with them. Are you sorry?”

  “No, nothing felt right after I sent you away.”

  It grew dark. The crickets were chirping and cicadas singing. Before she drove him to Kari and Dan’s, they prayed together for the first time, thanking God and seeking His will for their future. “It’s hard to let you leave me again, even until morning.”

  “I’ll see you in the morning, mo chridhe. Dream of me.”

  “You’re my most precious dream. Tha gaol agam ort.” Her tongue had no trouble with the well-remembered words.

  “Tha gaol agam ort-fhèin.” He closed the car door, standing and watching as she drove away.

  Entering the house, she fell to her knees, thanking God for bringing them together at last.

  Chapter Thirty-six: God’s Perfect Time

  Bonny stared out the window, clutching Kieran’s hand as the plane set down in Inverness. Once he retrieved the Land Rover, they headed straight for the farm. With Eleanor and Angus as chaperones, Stonehaven offered the solitude they craved.

  He stopped at the exact spot where he had pointed out the farmhouse on her first visit. Resting her head against his arm, Bonny surveyed the dense forests, heathered hills, and the shining loch below with a sense of home. “The land of my dreams ...”

  He leaned closer. “What did you say, love?”

  “I call Scotland the land of my dreams. I came here longing for escape and peace. Then it looked as if I might never see it again. Now the land of my dreams will be my home with the man of my dreams.”

  The electricity in his eyes sent pins and needles spiraling through her.

  Six dogs tumbled out from behind the house in woofing, tussling excitement as they drove up. Angus and Eleanor came running to welcome them, the latter enveloping Bonny in a warm hug. Angus led them inside, where dinner for four was waiting.

  After dinner, Bonny and Kieran retreated to the library, where a fire roared in the fireplace to ward off the autumn chill. Snuggling on the couch felt so right. Yet, in another way, it seemed as if a lifetime had passed.

  When he left her at the door to her room, she inhaled the sweet scent of the rose bouquets he had Eleanor place there. “If only I hadn’t left.”

  “God used it all for good. You’ll see how much good, starting tomorrow.”

  At Graeme’s suggestion, Kieran and Bonny began dating again. They drove out to the east coast one weekend, where an old college friend of his lived, not far from Dunnottar Castle. Sitting on its massive rock, the magnificent Dun Fother connected to the mainland by a single narrow strip of land. They watched the sea waves crashing against the black volcanic rocks over 160 feet below, sending white spray high into the air as gulls circled above and below, their cries filling the air. Dunnottar possessed a wild beauty all its own.

  She shouted above the battering wind. “Defense-wise, the location would have been valuable, but what a difficult place to live. You would be in danger of blowing off into the ocean if you ventured too close to the edge. Each trip to t
he mainland for the barest necessities of life would have been an adventure.”

  He pulled her against him as an especially hard gust caught her off guard. “Isn’t that life? We’re always in danger of going over the edge unless we stay at the center of God’s will. Safety can be found nowhere else.”

  “I guess we both learned the tough way.” They spent the entire day roving over the castle grounds, delighting in the beauty of their surroundings and each other’s company.

  “You belong here, lass, on this wee bit o’ land.” They headed up the steep path to the car park. “The day you sent me home, you said something I’ve wondered about ever since.”

  “I felt so tired and confused back then. I don’t even know what I might have said.”

  He held tight to her arm as they climbed, then held her away, letting the sinking sun shine on her face. “You said I was a wild, adventurous, romantic dream. What did you mean?”

  The tweed of his jacket was soft against her face. She laughed at his baffled expression. “You are.”

  “What makes a forty-one-year-old sheep farmer adventurous and romantic?”

  “You’re Scottish, with a musical accent, an academic sheep farmer in an idyllic setting. You live in an ancient house filled with antiques and family history. You wear a kilt, play bagpipes, and compete in Highland Games. Kari agreed you were a hunk after she met you, by the way.” His face turned a delightful shade of red. “There you have it—masculine, foreign, wild, romantic. Life has been one gigantic adventure since the day we met.”

  With a deep belly laugh, he grasped her under the arms, holding her close and turning around in a circle. “You know I lead a quiet, boring life. Kari told me about your ‘Highland Games hunk’ comment. It’s flattering, and I’m glad my future wife is attracted to me, but I’m just a sheep farmer, Bonny.”

  “In my eyes, you’re a wild, adventurous, and romantic sheep farmer.”

  He winked. “It’s the kilt, aye? Women do go weak over a man in a kilt.”