Twisted Souls

by L. L. Collins

  “Did you have fun? You’re so tan. You look beautiful.” He walks to the trunk and starts taking my suitcases out like nothing has happened between us.

  “Ronan,” I begin, not in any mood for this. He needs to listen to me and then get out of here. All I want to do is go upstairs, take a shower, and curl into my bed. He senses my pending dismissal and furrows his brow at me.

  “I just want to talk,” he says, putting his hands up like he’s surrendering. I stare at him for a moment, knowing I’m not getting out of this. I either do it now or later. Better to get it over with, I guess.

  “Come in,” I say. “But I’m exhausted, so it’s going to be quick.”

  He nods, and I know he isn’t happy with the way I’m acting. I guess he thought that his letter would excuse everything that he did and I would run into his arms and act like nothing happened. Maybe the old Liane would’ve done that. But the new Liane knows what it’s like to be cherished by someone. I had left Kentucky a broken girl and come back whole again, and it wasn’t because of any letter that he had sent me.

  I stop in the den and settle myself on the couch, making it clear with my body language that I don’t want Ronan sitting right next to me. He sits at the other end, and I cross my legs so I can face him. “So you wanted to talk.”

  “Did you get my letter?”

  “Yes.”

  He sighs. “Liane, I’m sorry. Are you still mad?”

  Anger sparks inside me. “Mad? You mean destroyed? We dated for two years, Ronan. You broke up with me because you have no spine in regards to your family. But don’t forget it was right after you had sex with me in your truck, because that makes a lot of sense. And then you decide that you’re sorry and I should just what? Take you back because you write me a letter? Fall into your arms and be glad that you threw me a bone?”

  I can see the shock on his face. “Lia, I was a fool. I’m never going to love anyone like I love you. I told my parents that they were wrong, that I could still do everything while still having you be a part of my life, too. They get it. They’re not going to hassle me about it. And yes I know we are both going away to school, but we’ll make it work. I’m planning to come back for Christmas. And my mom got me a computer. I’ll get Internet. We can instant message, too. Make it cheaper than calling.”

  “You’re not understanding,” I answer. I probably shouldn’t be talking to him right now, because I’m in no mood to listen to this. But he insisted, so he’s going to get what I have to say. “I’m not getting back together with you, Ronan. It’s over. You wanted to be single to go away to school, and you’re getting your wish. I’m leaving for school next week and I have a lot to do. Right now, I’m tired. I’ve been traveling all day.”

  I stand, wanting him to follow me so I can let him out. But when I turn back to look, he’s still staring at me. “You’ve been crying,” he says finally. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie. “I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”

  “You forget that I know you, Lia,” he says, walking over to where I’m standing. “Tell me what has you so against our relationship now. We were together for two years. You’re just going to throw us away like that?”

  I laugh. “Really? You threw away our relationship, Ronan. I just realized over the last two weeks that you did me a favor, and I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

  He nods like I said something he finally gets. “I know what you aren’t saying.”

  I roll my eyes, my frustration building. All I want to do is go upstairs and think about the last two weeks, not the four days or two years prior to that. “What am I not saying, Ronan? Please enlighten me.”

  “You never act like this,” he says. “Someone has gotten to you, Lia. And since you spent the last two weeks in Florida, that only leaves me with one conclusion.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest. I wait, knowing what’s about to come out of his mouth. “It’s your so-called best friend, right? You went there crying about me breaking it off with you and he helped you dry your tears. Am I right? So now I’m not good enough for you because you’re what, going to be the girlfriend of the boy that’s loved you your entire life and finally got you at a weak moment? Oh, and don’t forget that he’s going to be an amazing mechanic and all.” He snorts, rolling his eyes. “He’ll never provide for you, Lia. He’s a nobody. I can give you the life you deserve.”

  “Get out,” I say between my teeth. I’m so angry I think I could hit him, and I’ve never hit anyone in my life. How dare he speak about Blake that way. I regret ever telling him anything about Blake, because all he’s doing is using it against him now.

  “You don’t have to tell me I’m right. I know by the look on your face that I hit the nail on the head. Did you sleep with him too, Lia? I’ll forgive you, you know. You were upset over me and he took advantage. I understand feeling weak, especially while being around him for the last two weeks. But you’ll see now that you’re home where you really belong. The fantasy of him is gone, and here I am. So when you get your head out of the clouds, call me. I’ll be waiting. You know we belong together. There’s no one better for you than me.” With that, he walks out of the den and seconds later I hear the door shut.

  I run for my room, slamming the door shut and falling onto the bed, my head in my hands. What in the heck just happened? I tell him that I don’t want to be with him anymore and somehow he turns it into a Blake bashing session where he says he will forgive me for sleeping with him and I’ll come to my senses? That did not go as I planned at all, and I think somehow Ronan still thinks I’m going to end up with him. But that’s not happening. Not today, tomorrow, or next year. God, I wish I could call Blake. He had said he would ask his parents if he could use their cell phone to call me while he was on the road, but he also probably knows he has to wait to make sure I’m home.

  I reach for the phone on my nightstand, knowing that if I don’t talk to Gretchen, I’m going to explode. I know she’s busy getting ready to move to California, but I need her.

  GRETCHEN SIPS HER coke, listening to me ramble on and on about what had just happened. “I told you I would come over when you got here, but noooo,” she responds, arching an eyebrow. “You had to do this on your own.”

  I shake my head. “I’m not sure that would’ve stopped him, Gretch. He was so… cocky. And condescending about Blake.”

  “You never confirmed anything he accused you of, right?”

  “No. I wasn’t giving him anything, so he was jumping to all the conclusions he could.”

  “The right conclusions,” she laughs. “With the exception of the one that Blake isn’t good enough for you and he would never take care of you. I might’ve never met the man, but from what I know, I think Ronan is wrong. But you’ve never wanted to see this side of Ronan, Lia.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He is cocky. He thinks that everything he does is gold. He would parade you around like you were his little trophy. Did he really ever put your needs first? Being your best friend, I have to say that all I saw from Ronan Collier was selfishness. And since when does him being an accountant like his dad and grandfather make him so much better than Blake? Has he ever met him?”

  “No. And I hope he never does. Unless I send him an invitation to our wedding.” That gets a laugh out of both of us. “I just don’t know how to handle this. I mean, Ronan acted like he was doing me a favor by ‘forgiving’ me, and he really didn’t listen to anything I said.”

  “You’re going to college in a few days,” Gretchen answers. “And so is he. He’s going to be in New York, for goodness sake. That seems to solve your problem right there. So just ignore him. If he calls you, don’t pick up. You have caller ID. If he comes over, have your mom tell him you aren’t home. And if you end up having to see him, tell him the same thing you told him today. Keep saying it until it sinks in. Ronan is used to getting what he wants, so it’s going to take some getting used to.”r />
  The phone rings just then, and I put my head on the table, groaning. What’s the likelihood this is Ronan? Turning the cordless phone over, I see a number I don’t recognize. “Not Ronan. Probably for my mom or dad.” It stops ringing, and seconds later I hear my mom calling me from upstairs.

  “Liane? Phone’s for you. Get it quickly.”

  Gretchen and I look at each other as I click the phone on and hear my mom hang up. “Hello?”

  “Baby,” Blake’s voice croons through the line. I put my hand over my mouth, hearing his voice just the balm I need to sooth my frayed nerves.

  “Blake,” I cry. Gretchen smiles, standing up and kissing me on the head.

  “See you tomorrow,” she whispers. I nod, mouthing thank you to her before she disappears out the front door.

  “I miss you so much,” he says. “I had to promise to wash the car inside and out in order to get to use the phone to call you,” he laughs. “You’re worth that and so much more. How was the flight?”

  The flight. Well, I really didn’t remember much about it since I spent it curled up in my mom’s lap like a toddler after a tantrum. “It was okay. I was really sad.”

  “Li,” he says. “I’ve thought of nothing else all day in this car. We still have at least four hours left to drive, and I wanted to call you every minute of the ride. But I knew I had to wait for you to get home.” He pauses, and I know he wants to ask me.

  “Ronan was here when I got here,” I just throw it out there, knowing it will make him feel better if I tell him first.

  “I knew it,” he says. “And?”

  “He thought I was just going to forgive and forget and move on.” Blake is quiet, and I know he wants me to tell him more. “I told him that we were done and I didn’t want to be with him anymore.”

  “He didn’t take that too well, did he?”

  “You could say that,” I laugh, though it’s not funny. “He somehow turned it around on me and then of course brought you into it.”

  “Brought me into it how?”

  “Started throwing out accusations about me sleeping with you and living in a fantasy land for the last two weeks, and that I would wake up and realize that he was the one for me.” Blake is silent, though I can hear him breathing. I refuse to hurt him by saying what else Ronan said about Blake. “It doesn’t change anything, Blake. The only thing he made me realize is that I’ve been blind to who he really is for a long time. Gretchen just came over and we talked through everything. She said that everyone else saw it, just not me. He’s selfish and wants his way. So he’s just going to have to get used to hearing me say no, because that’s all he’s getting.”

  “I’m so proud of you,” Blake says. “But you know he isn’t going to give up.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I tell him. “I’m leaving in less than a week. He’s leaving right after me. So no matter what he tries, he only has days to try it. And it’s not going to work, Blake. I love you.”

  He blows out a breath, and it makes me sad. He really was worried about what would happen when Ronan came over. “You really thought I would go back with him, didn’t you?”

  “Li, I don’t want you to think I didn’t believe you. I just knew he would try anything to get you back; he was a fool to let you go in the first place. And sometimes, two years is hard to walk away from.”

  “No it’s not,” I say quietly. “Not when you have your future so bright in front of you. You’re my future. Just you.”

  I hear his parents in the background. “I have to go, Li. I’ll call you tonight when I get home, okay? I need to hear your voice again.”

  “I’ll be waiting,” I hang up the phone and walk to my room. I need a nap after this crazy, whirlwind emotional day.

  “HE CAME OVER again?” I groan. “He’s seriously not going to give up, is he?” I lay back on my bed, frustration making me want to punch something. Time to go back to the gym. Why can’t he just take her answer for an answer? In the days since I’ve been home, we’ve talked at least three times a day. She’s packing for college, and I’m working and living for the moments I can talk to her. I’ve been looking up programs near her, but nothing has any availability at this late date, so it looks like I’m stuck here at least through first semester. I will keep taking classes here until I can transfer somewhere. And I will transfer, because nothing is keeping me from her.

  Ronan has been insistent since she got home. He’s been to see her every single day. The dude really needs to get a clue. “Well, today was different,” she says. “He said he wanted to be my friend, and that through that I would see how much he loved me and realize we belonged together. He said he wasn’t going to push me anymore, either. We’ll see about that.”

  “What did you say to that?” I know there’s no way in God’s green earth that Ronan wants to be her friend. But he must’ve gotten enough of a clue to know that whatever he’s doing isn’t working, so he’s switching tactics. I stand up, needing to pace the nervous energy out of me. I want to drive to Kentucky right now, for many reasons. Number one being to kiss her senseless, and two to give Ronan a little talking-to. I even have it mapped out. It would only take me about eight hours. Totally doable.

  “I told him that if he can respect that I’m not getting back together with him, I’d like to be friends. I made him promise to stop bringing you up. I’ve never confirmed anything about us, but he still insists that’s why I don’t want to be with him.”

  “Well, it is,” I laugh, stopping at the new pictures I’d gotten developed since I got home. It really looks like I have a shrine to her. It might disturb some people if they were to see it, but I love it. I pick up the picture of us taken by the stranger, our arms wrapped around each other and the sun setting behind us. I trace her face with my finger, wishing that I could see her standing in front of me now.

  “Well, yeah kind of,” she giggles, and I close my eyes.

  “God, I miss you,” I admit. “I’m looking at the pictures we took that night. I sent out your copies today. You should have them before you leave. You’re so beautiful, Li.” I look at the ones that I took of her, posing in front of the water. “You’re my dream come true.”

  She sighs. “Blake, I miss you so much it hurts. It’s only been four days since I saw you last, but it feels like four years.”

  “I agree.”

  “Oh, he also said he was going out of town for a few days and would be back right before I leave. I haven’t a clue where he’s going, but I don’t care. All I know is that for a few days I don’t have to worry about him showing up here.”

  “Well, thank goodness,” I say, glad that the punk is going to leave her alone.

  “So anyway,” she changes the subject. “Once I get settled at school, can we set up a meeting place? Have another special night like we did in Sanibel?”

  My eyes slide over to the pictures again and settle on the one I took of her wearing my USC shirt. In this picture, she’s wearing shorts, though. In my mind, she’s walking out onto the balcony with it barely covering her backside. “Absolutely. I just don’t want to take away from your school if you need to study or something.”

  “Blake,” she says in her warning tone. “Don’t make me race you,” she whispers, and I groan.

  “You can’t do that to me, Li,” I complain. “Not when there’s nothing I can do about it.”

  “There’s always the shower,” she teases, and laughs. She laughs!

  “Not nice.” I love that we can do this, though. “I actually am going to head to the gym to work out my frustration over not being able to beat Ronan’s head in.”

  She laughs harder. “Oh, baby,” she says, the pet name I usually use for her. “I would pay money to see you beat Ronan’s head in, but if it helps, then by all means go get those muscles all sexier for me. Oh, I wish I was running my fingers down your…”

  “Liane Kelly,” I scold, dissolving her into giggles again. “I have to go now. I love you and I’ll call you later. Beha
ve yourself.”

  We hang up, and I realize I have the biggest smile on my face. Even states apart, she makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world. I push away the feeling that I have about Ronan, reassuring myself that’s she’s mine. For good.

  I PULL INTO my driveway and turn off my truck, leaning my head back against the headrest. It was a really long day. I learned a lot today, but it was exhausting. I haven’t gotten to talk to Liane since yesterday afternoon; when I‘d called her last night, she had already been asleep and I’d gone to work before seven today. I needed to talk to her, and now. Hopefully she’ll be home, because the withdrawals are real.

  My parents aren’t home, and neither are my siblings. I look for a note on the counter but don’t see one. Okay, then. I get the house to myself for a while. I pop a soda and sit at the bar, picking up the phone and dialing her number. It rings five times before the answering machine picks up. “Li, it’s me. Call me when you get home, okay, baby? Talk to you later. Bye.”

  Just as I hang up, a knock sounds at the front door. God, I wish there was a possibility of it being her, surprising me. But I know that isn’t possible, since she’s leaving for college in just a few days. I swing the door open, seeing a guy about my age standing on the other side. He’s a nice looking guy, but I don’t recognize him. I look him up and down, wondering if he’s here for Brooke or Brianna. “Can I help you?”

  The guy crosses his arms in front of his chest and stares at me. “Now I get it,” he says in response.

  “What? Can I help you with something, man?” I size him up, figuring I can take him if he’s here for some shenanigans. I have at least thirty or forty pounds on him, and about three inches.

  “You’re Blake,” he says, and I want to say no shit but I don’t. This clown obviously knows me, but I don’t know him.