Breaking Free

by Alexis Noelle

  He smirks at me. “Trust me when I say you don’t look like a whore. If you wanna see what a whore looks like, come backstage at any of my concerts.”

  Well, that makes me feel just fucking great. What the heck are the two of us doing together? I’m broken, and he’s…well, he’s an asshole. Is it crazy that I want him to tell me exactly what we are? He’s so confusing. He asked me to be his girlfriend, but then afterward told me he really didn’t want one. He said he wants me to be his, but what does that entail? I’m about to ask him when his phone rings.

  “Yeah?” Is that really how he answers the phone? What a douche. “I don’t want to go to that shit…I don’t care how much they pay me…Where in the damn contract does it say that?...Fuck, whatever then. I need two tickets…No, Jules, you get me two tickets or I don’t fucking show up…Holly James.” Me? Why did he just say my name? “None of your business.” He hangs up the phone and puts it back in his pocket.

  “What was that all about?”

  “You’re coming to some stupid ass event with me next week.”

  Oh, I am? Where the hell does he get off? The waitress walks up to us before I can respond and places our plates in front of us. Even though I protested him ordering for me, I have to say it looks delicious. The waitress lingers by the table, I think for him to acknowledge her, but he doesn’t. When she walks away I can’t help but smirk.

  I take a bite of the food and stifle the moan that leaves my mouth. When Drew looks up, the heat of his gaze makes me squeeze my legs together in search of relief. He can get me excited with just looking at me. Then, I remember what I was pissed about before she came with the food. “What exactly are we?”

  His eyes grow big. “What do you mean? I thought we settled that already.”

  “No, like everything else with you, it was really vague.”

  “I want you, James. I can’t explain why, but I do. And in case you haven’t noticed, I get what I want.”

  I wait for more but he goes back to eating his food. That’s it? What the hell?! That kind of a response makes me want to smack him in the face and tell him he isn’t getting what he wants this time. I feel a hand run up my leg, and when I look over, Drew is in the chair next to me. His hand travels up farther and his fingers slip under one of the rips in my jeans. Drew makes little circles with his thumb and my whole body is on fire. Not the kind of fire that makes me wince, but the kind that makes me want to find a secluded part of this restaurant and blow his mind.

  He retracts his fingers but continues his journey up my leg until his hand cups me. He lowers his head to whisper in my ear. “I can see the fight in your eyes, but just remember what I can do to you. Only me, James.”

  He smoothly moves back into the seat across from me. How can he seem so calm when every part of my body is screaming? I look around to see if anyone noticed our exchange and it seems no one did.

  “You can look around all you want. I don’t care who is watching.” He goes back to eating his food as I try to seem as unaffected as possible. I know from the look on his face that I’m doing a horrible job.

  I try to finish my meal without seeming like I’m about to combust from sexual frustration, but I barely make it. Drew doesn’t even ask the waitress for the check; he just takes out an obscene amount of money, puts it on the table, and gets up. There is no way our meal cost that much. He starts to walk away, but turns back toward me and stares as if to ask me what I’m waiting for. I can’t help but shake my head. I honestly don’t get people like him who just throw their money around.

  I follow him out, but unlike when we showed up, there are photographers surrounding the entrance to the restaurant. Drew takes out his cell phone, “Yeah, I see them. Meet me by the back exit of the building.” He grabs my hand and we walk back toward the hostess stand. “I need to use your exit in the back of the building.”

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Walker, but I can’t let—”

  “Yes, you can.” He takes another bill out of his wallet, I think it’s a hundred, and slaps it onto the stand in front of her.

  She seems awestruck and within a minute snaps out of it. “Follow me.” She avoids eye contact with him and I sympathize with her. His eyes can make you melt and want to cower in a corner at the same time.

  We walk back through the dining room, into the kitchen, and stop at a steel door. The hostess doesn’t say anything; she just stares at him as if she is waiting for him to show her some gratitude. Think again, lady, Drew Walker wouldn’t say thank you if you threw water on him if he was on fire.

  He opens the door, and just as I expected, leaves without even glancing at the girl who noticeably pulled down her shirt as she walked us back. We climb into the car and have thankfully evaded any photographers that were waiting near the entrance. It’s really irritating how everyone bows down to him. I mean, sure he’s hot, and when he’s on stage you can’t take your eyes off him. He pulls you in with this energy and makes you want to make every wish of his come true. His touch is enough to… Ugh, I can’t even mentally hate him.

  We drive onto the city streets and I realize I have no idea where we’re going. Not that I have ever had any idea what was going on or what to expect in the short time I’ve known him. “Where are we going?”

  He looks over at me as if he’s contemplating answering me. He better give me a damn answer. I try to fight him and I try to stand up for myself, but every time I feel like I just end up looking like a child. “I have my second show tonight before we leave town; we’re going to the venue.”

  “I never said I would go to the show with you.”

  He laughs, and it’s the one where I know he’s going to say something that will make me want to punch him in the face. “I never asked if you wanted to.”

  Yep. I definitely want to punch him in the face.

  Before I can reply, he moves so that he’s now almost straddling me. The backseat is huge so it’s not like there is a lack of space. “I don’t think you really understand how this works, James.” Obviously not. “I don’t answer to anyone and I don’t ask anyone for permission. I do what I want when I want, and if I want something I take it. Don’t act like it doesn’t turn this sweet little body of yours on, either. I bet if I slipped my hand under your jeans you’d be soaked right now. I told you I didn’t want a girlfriend and I meant it. I also told you that I wasn’t done with you, and I really meant that.”

  How the hell do you respond to something like that?

  “I see the wheels in your head turning. You want to yell at me, you want to call me an asshole, and walk away without ever looking back. You won’t, though, you know why?”

  “Why?” It comes out more like a moan.

  “Because you want me as much as I fucking want you. We are amazing together, and as much as you don’t want to admit it, you aren’t gonna find that anywhere else.” His hand cups me and my whole body arches into him as his finger pushes against my clit through my jeans. He moves it in small circles. “Think about this every time the thought of walking away comes into your head. Think about what I do to you and all the things I haven’t even done yet.” He drags his teeth over my earlobe, and before I can react, he moves back to the seat where he had been sitting before.

  Is it possible for a woman to get blue balls? Because I swear to God that’s what I have.

  “Oh, and I usually don’t like leaving a mark, but it looks fucking sexy on you.” He winks at me.

  A mark? What in the hell is he…no. I pull out my phone and turn on the forward facing camera. My mouth instantly drops open. A fucking hickey?! What the hell! Are we in goddamn high school? This is just great; no wonder people have been looking at me all day. “How dare—”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know. How dare I…blah, blah, blah. We’re here.” Drew grabs the sweatshirt that seems to always be in his car and pulls it down over my head. The door opens and cameras are flashing all around. He pulls me out of the car and through the crowd. I hold my breath the entire time, afraid to look up.
We walk through a hallway and go into one of the rooms. It’s a pretty nice room, but nowhere near as nice as his hotel room.

  I spot a set of leather couches, sit down on one, and pull his sweatshirt off of me. As I do, I get a whiff of his scent and I just want to sit here and breathe it in. Then I remember the sign of teenage hormones on my neck and throw the sweatshirt at him. “Why the hell did you do this to me?”

  “Because you are so determined to prove that you’re your own person.”

  “So what?” I don’t know what the hell is wrong with that. Most men like women who are independent and don’t require them to do everything.

  “You are not your own person, you’re mine.” He walks over to me so fast and slams his mouth against mine. I want to fight him and tell him that he’s wrong about me, but I don’t think he is. Most people would think that a guy like Drew would scare me away after what I’ve been through, but he doesn’t. He gives me the ability to not have to think. I can just relax and not have to worry about how each decision I’m making might lead me down the wrong path. Not only that, but he makes me feel like a normal girl again instead of the scared pathetic creature I had become.

  On the other hand, I wanted him to understand that the last thing I need in my life is another overprotective jerk. His hands move roughly over my body, and I know without a doubt that there is no way I want him to stop. There is a way, though, that I can take back a little bit of control. I push him off of me, not surprised by the shock on his face. Before he can protest, I stand up and thread my fingers through his hair, tugging a little so that I can gauge his reaction. He groans and I smile in satisfaction. While keeping my grip on his hair, I turn us around and force him down onto the couch while simultaneously lowering myself on top of him.

  “What are you—”

  “Uh, uh, uh. My turn.”

  I drown his upcoming words with my kiss, and in less than a minute his hands are tightening around me. They move down my back until they reach my ass and his fingers dig in. I can feel him under me and I grind against him, forcing a moan from both of us. I kneel on the couch and lower my zipper while he watches my hands intently. I hook both of my fingers into the waistband of my jeans and slowly inch them down, painstakingly slow. His eyes are showing me the effect that I’m aiming for. Drew looks tortured, passionate, and pissed off all at the same time.

  I stand up, taking my time removing my jeans. Slowly crossing my arms over my torso, I grab the hem of my shirt and lift it over my head. Drew reaches out to touch me but I back away from his grasp and shake my head. He balls his fists at his side, grudgingly giving in to me. For now. I sink down to the floor in front of him and run my hands up his legs. I graze my fingers over him and he inhales sharply.

  I gaze up at Drew underneath my lashes. “I want to touch you, but I want you to touch me first. I want to feel your hands inside me and come apart all over you.”

  His eyes ignite and he wraps a hand around my neck, pulling me up to him. Our mouths join and his fingers immediately dip underneath my lace boy shorts. He groans, “You are always so wet for me. Fuck, you don’t understand how hot that is.”

  He pushes inside of me and I arch my back in pleasure. I’m kneeling over him and my legs are shaking from the intensity of the situation. After he’s brought me to the edge twice today, without any relief, I’m almost there already. He moves his mouth from mine and kisses a slow line across my jaw and down my neck.

  I pull back and look at him. “No marks.”

  He laughs but doesn’t answer me. He continues to kiss me, tracing the cleavage created by my bra. His fingers begin to move faster and I can feel my whole body tighten. “Now, I want it now.”

  I come apart yelling his name. I can hear his zipper coming undone and he lifts himself off the couch a little. Before I can open my eyes, he pulls me down hard on top of him. The instant feeling of fullness and my oversensitive flesh almost causes me to come again. I place my hands on his shoulders and take the initiative to try to maintain the small amount of control I’ve had. I slide up him and then let myself crash back down on him, each time sliding up more and coming down harder.

  “Fuck, yes. Now ride my cock and make my come, baby. Show me what you can do.” He says it like a challenge.

  Challenge accepted. I move frantically up and down, side to side, then rest my arms on his knees and arch my back while I ride him. This angle makes the feeling so much more intense and he feels like he’s going deeper into me. His hands grab my hips and he lifts me up and down on top of him while also driving into me. It feels amazing and I come once more.

  My body feels like jelly but he is still relentlessly fucking me. I feel his whole body tense beneath me before he groans and I feel his warm release fill me. I collapse against his chest, feeling like I might never regain the energy to move again. That’s when Drew acts like himself and ruins it. He lifts me off of him, depositing me on the couch, and stands up. “You did good.” He smacks my ass as he walks toward what I can only assume is the bathroom.

  Ugh! I tried to assert myself and take control for once, and somehow I feel like I never had it at all. I grab my clothes that are on the floor and pull them on. Am I an idiot for putting up with his shit? I would have certainly never taken anything like this from anyone else. So why is it okay when he does it? Because he can touch you. Because he makes you feel alive. Because you’re an idiot and you care about him. I know that all of that’s true and it really scares me. Thank God that his band is doing a fifty state tour because I need some space from him to figure out what the hell I want.

  He walks back out of the bathroom and smiles at me. “I can get used to that, James, although we will have to start locking the dressing room doors.”

  Get used to it? Isn’t he leaving town tonight? He must see my confused expression.

  “What I mean is, I’m always so wound up after my shows, that having you here and doing that will be fucking amazing.”

  “I thought you were leaving town tonight.”

  “I am.” He walks over to the rack of clothes in the corner and peels off his shirt in exchange for a fitted black t-shirt. He turns back around and seems baffled by my confusion. “You’re coming with me.”

  What?! “No, I’m not. You never even asked me to come! I barely know you!”

  “Remember the conversation when I told you I wanted to be able to have you whenever I wanted.” He walks closer to me. “Well, I meant that. I also meant it when I said I wasn’t done with you. I want you to come on the road with me; you’re mine and I’m not letting you go.”

  “I am NOT coming with you on tour!”

  His face darkens. “Why the hell not?!”

  “Because of the reasons that I just told you! We barely know each other but have already gotten into numerous fights! And you are constantly ordering me around and expecting me to follow your orders!”

  “So the fuck what?!” I can see the veins in his neck bulging. He’s really pissed off, but did he really think that I was just going to run away with him?

  It makes me so damn mad that he thinks I’m just going to drop everything and take off with him. If he wants to act like an asshole all the time, I can, too. “You know the number one reason that I won’t come with you?” I walk slowly and seductively over to him. I can tell he’s confused and turned on at the same time. When I reach him, I run my nose up his neck, inhaling his scent and driving him crazy at the same time.

  “Why?” Even his damn questions sound like orders.

  I run my fingers through his hair, kiss him once on the lips, then pull back an inch. “Because you’re a dickhead.”

  His mouth drops open and I take the opportunity to walk out of the room. I’m probably the only girl in the world who would walk out on Drew Walker.

  Chapter Five

  I walk into the hallway and head for the exit. When I hear footsteps behind me, I speed up. I open the door to the parking lot, panicking for a minute because I forgot about all of the phot
ographers. When I look around, though, no one’s there. As I’m trying to figure out where I am, I head for the street, figuring I need to catch a cab. When I hear a door slam, I look back to find Drew standing in the doorway, scanning the parking lot. Spotting me, he starts to come after me. It might seem crazy but I start to run. The thing is, I do not want to go away with him. Well, maybe I do. However, I’m definitely not ready to go away with him. I know, though, that if he catches me and tempts me the way he always does, I’ll give in. I can’t resist him and he knows it. I reach the gate and raise my hand to hail a taxi and one pulls right up.

  I reach for the door handle when a hand closes over mine. I look up to see the man that I hate, want, like, and can’t stand all at the same damn time. “Will you stop running from me?” He almost growled the words and I would be lying if I said it didn’t turn me on.

  It’s really pathetic that anything this man does turns me on. “I need to go, Drew. This isn’t something that I’m ready for and you’re not just going to force me into it.” I look around because people are staring at us. Drew must have grabbed a hat before he decided to come after me so I guess he thinks he’s incognito.

  “What are you not ready for? I told you I don’t want this big fucking commitment.” He runs his hands up my sides, causing goose bumps to break out all over my body. “I. Just. Fucking. Want. You.”

  With each word I’m coming closer and closer to giving into him. No, I’m not ready for this. “No.”

  He slams his hands against the car, making me jump. “Have it your way, James.”

  Drew turns his back on me and walks back toward the building. I want to go after him. I don’t want to lose him. I know I’ve only known him a friggin’ day, but I haven’t felt this alive in forever. As bad as he is for me, I think he does twice as much good. A tear escapes my eye and I quickly wipe it away. This is why I need to walk away. I’m already so attached and I haven’t known him that long. What happens after weeks or months?