Submit (Out of the Octagon, #1)

by Lexy Timms

  “You’re not giving up on this, are you?” He looked up at her with hooded eyes, sighing. There was a cut above his eye, a gash that made her wince every time she looked at it.

  “I want to know you’re going to be safe.” She ran her fingers over his hair, buzzed now that he’d cut it in anticipation of the match. “Is there a doctor or medic there to deal with it if you get hurt?”

  He shrugged. “There isn’t always medical staff on hand with the amateur matches. Sometimes there’s an EMT or someone, but not always.”

  She felt the blood drain from her face. “So if you get hurt, what happens? You just, what, lay there?”

  “Rosa, nothing’s going to happen except lots of cuts and bruises and I won’t need an EMT for those. Frank can handle that. I won’t even have a cutman. Can’t afford one.”

  “What’s a cutman?” Rosa had no idea. Why would he need someone to cut him?

  “It’s who takes care of cuts, nosebleeds...injuries that happen during the fight.” He was back at her breasts, kissing them softly, his hands moving down her stomach.

  She could feel his body against hers, his arousal so obvious as he pressed his hips against her leg. But her mind was miles away, thinking of all the possible ways Aedan could be hurt. “You said there were all kinds of possible ways for you to get hurt. Breaking bones, getting hit in the head, breaking your neck.”

  “Um-hum... Yeah. I did.” He was tracing a line of kisses down her stomach, his tongue flicking around the edge of her navel. He looked up at her, his hand moving lower, running over the tops of her thighs. “Can we talk about this later? The answers will still be the same, but I’ll be able to string words together to make sentences. Right now all I can think about how good you taste.” His hands were gently spreading her legs apart and as much she thought she wanted to resist, she gave in. He was right; the answers would be the same, now or later.

  His breath was warm on her legs, his lips playing over the tender skin of her inner thigh. There was a moment of breathless anticipation, a shiver running through her body and then he was there, his tongue and lips between her legs, his hands sliding beneath her, cradling her like a cup he couldn’t drink enough from.

  When she came, it was like a wash of liquid heat through her body, her legs falling further apart, her fingers curled against the sheets. Before she’d finished he moved up her body, sliding himself into her as she rode the last waves of her orgasm. His first thrust into her brought a fresh wave coursing through her, more powerful, and she bucked up against him. Aedan drove hard and fast several times and then he was crying out, his body tight, his hips pressing forward into her. She wrapped her arms around him as he shuddered, his face upturned, eyes tightly closed.

  He wrapped his arms around her after, holding her tight for a moment. They shifted in the bed together, still in each others arms, until they were face to face, Aedan still breathing hard. “I watch you sometimes and wonder what it’s like, whatever it is you do, however you just keep having one endless orgasm.” Aedan was stroking her face. “I can’t imagine what’s that’s like. I wish I could go there with you.”

  Rosa smiled at him, shaking her head. “Uh-uh...no. It’s not going to work.”

  Aedan grinned, raising an eyebrow. “You’re not falling for it then? Can’t derail you with talk about sex? You still want to talk about fighting?”

  She gave him a look that was answer enough.

  “Okay. We’ll talk about fighting.” He rolled onto his back, arms behind his head.

  Rosa propped herself on one elbow. “But aren’t you scared? Of being hurt?”

  “I’m not scared! Sure, I don’t like pain, if that’s what you mean. No one does. But it happens. I don’t think about it when I’m in a match or sparring. It happens too quickly. Your reach is off, you hit someone wrong and you break your hand, or you kick wrong and it’s your foot. It hurts, but the adrenaline is rushing through you, there’s a guy across from you trying to hit you...you just do what you’re trained to do. Duck and set up again, and hit and kick. You think about the pain later.”

  Rosa’s fingers traced the scar on his chest. “What’s the worst injury you’ve had?”

  He put his hand over hers. “Rosa, if you focus on that, that’s all you’ll think about. And it’s not something that you need to worry about.”

  “But I do...”

  “And I know that. And I appreciate the concern. Really. But just let it go for now, okay?” Aedan stroked hair back from Rosa’s face. “You can talk to Frank if you want. He’s seen more than me.” He rolled over, taking Rosa with him, pinning her to the bed, and grinned down at her. “But you can’t have that conversation with him in bed, okay?”

  Despite the assurances, and the distractions, Rosa’s anxiety continued to grow. Worry gnawed at her, and she’d started having trouble sleeping, even wrapped in Aedan’s arms. She spent every night at his tiny apartment, and all the time she could with him when he wasn’t training, but it wasn’t enough.

  When Aedan was at the gym, she went home. She’d taken to keeping a few necessary items at his tiny apartment, but there wasn’t room for her clothes, and those stayed in the closet at her parents. She also had to admit that she preferred the shower there, with the hot water that didn’t sometimes run out mid-attempt at bathing.

  She was back home to wash and change the next day when her mother caught her. Rosa paused halfway up the stairs at the sound of her name being called. Part of her was tempted to just pretend she hadn’t heard, but that had a distinct chance of backfiring if her mother came looking for her to insist on whatever conversation she wanted to have. Sighing, she backtracked, heading to her mother’s office at the far end of the hall.

  Her mother was seated behind her mahogany desk, impeccable in a tailored designer suit and her ever present strands of pearls. Rosa wondered idly which cost more; she’d almost place money on the suit. Her mother considered clothing to be the most important aspect in judging a woman’s worth; Rosa had told her once, only partly in jest, that she could just wear her check register and stock portfolio around her neck and save time by not having to shop. Her mother had told her there was more in life than material wealth. It had been everything Rosa could do not to laugh.

  “Where have you been, Rosa?” Her mother’s tone was sharp. “Sophie said you’ve not been home in over a week, maybe longer. And you look terrible. Bags under your eyes. And your hair.” She squinted at Rosa for a moment, then stood, circling around the edge of the desk. “Are you doing drugs? We can get you help if that’s what’s going on.”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Mom.” Rosa ran a hand through her hair, settling the wayward strands. “No. I’m not doing drugs.” She dropped into the wing chair in front of her mother’s desk. “I’ve been at Aedan’s on and off. And I’ve been home. You’re the one who’s never around here.”

  The shocked look on her mother’s face made Rosa realized she’d crossed a line, but then she realized she really didn’t care. She squared her shoulders and looked up at her mother. “I’ve been spending nights over at Aedan’s. Every one of them, in fact, for the past... Hmmm, let’s see... Nine days.”

  “Rosa! You’re not that kind of girl!” Her mother’s tone of affronted shock set something off inside her.

  “What ‘kind of girl’ Mom? The kind that sleeps around?” She stood, taking a step toward her mother. “That’s really rich coming from you. How many men have you been sleeping with while you tell Dad you’re working on charity projects?”

  The sting of her mother’s hand on her cheek was sharper than she could’ve imagined. Her hand flew to her cheek, her eyes to her mother’s. There was no apology there.

  Enough, Rosa decided, was enough.

  “Hit a nerve, did I?” She turned on her heel before her mother could answer, walking out the door.

  “You don’t ever speak to me—Come back here!” Her mother’s voice rose in volume and pitch, but Rosa kept walking. Sophie emerged from the k
itchen, her eyes wide, wiping her hands on a towel. The towel fell to the floor as she saw Rosa’s face.

  “Miss Rosa...”

  Rosa brushed past her, taking the stairs two at a time. She slammed the door to her room, thumbing the lock. As soon as she heard the click of it settling into place, she sank to the floor, her knees giving way. Her body was suddenly wracked with violent trembling and she hugged her knees to her chest.

  Her cell phone chirped, making her jump. Fishing it out of her purse, she saw Aedan’s number.

  “Aedan.” Her voice broke.

  “Rosa? Are you okay?” Aedan caught the fear. “What’s wrong?”

  “I—” Rosa dropped her forehead against her knees. “I had a fight with my mother. She slapped me.”

  “Come here.” Aedan’s voice was gentle, for all that she could hear the fury underneath the words. “Come back here now. You can stay here. I mean, bring enough clothes and stuff and just stay. I’m heading home from the gym. I’ll be there in half an hour.”

  Rosa nodded, then realized that wasn’t going to do any good as an answer. “Okay,” she whispered into the phone, suddenly achingly tired. She closed the phone, took a deep breath, and stood. Her room looked dusty and unused. Standing in the middle of it, she realized how formal it was. It could have belonged to anyone. Aside from the book on the night table, there was no sign that anyone even lived in it. She’d grown used to Aedan’s bare apartment—the saggy couch and the tiny bed, the mismatched chairs. And in that moment, it was exactly where she wanted to be.

  It took her all of ten minutes to pack, throwing jeans and shirts and clean under garments into a bag. The last things she grabbed was the book she’d been reading and a pillow from her bed.

  She was halfway down the stairs when her mother appeared.

  “Where do you think you’re going, Rosa? You need to apologize to me.” Her mother’s hand rested on the banister and as Rosa passed, her mother reached out, grabbing Rosa’s wrist. “I said—”

  “I heard what you said!” She twisted out of her mother’s grip.” And no, I don’t need to do anything. I’m not sorry for what I said, since it’s the truth. You’re hypocritical to comment on where I spend my nights, if you’re spending yours somewhere other than with your husband.” She glared at her mother. “At least I’m not cheating on anyone.”

  Her mother swiped to catch her again, but Rosa was already out of reach. She slammed the door behind her as she left the penthouse. She was in the elevator before her mother made it out into the hall. The last look she had as the doors slid shut was of her mother’s face, a combination of anger and shock playing across her features.

  The doorman called a car for her and Rosa paced the sidewalk, waiting for it to arrive. She wondered how long it would be before she was cut off from using the car service. That would be something her mother would do.

  Not quite yet, it seemed. A car pulled up to the curb and she slid inside, calling Aedan as she buckled her seat belt. “I’m on my way.”

  “I’m already home. I’ll be waiting.”

  Someone was going to be waiting for her. Someone who loved her. It occurred to her that it’d been a long time since she had that.

  She wondered if she ought to call her father and let him know what had happened. But she wasn’t quite ready to deal with the fall out. Her hands were trembling, she realized. Her mother had given her a swat or two, growing up, but she’d never hit her full across the face like that. She raised a hand to her still stinging cheek, gingerly brushing her fingertips over the reddened skin.

  As soon as she arrived at the apartment, Aedan was there, pulling open the car door and folding her against his chest. She sank into the warm security of his embrace, let him lead her upstairs and sit her down on the couch. The tears she’d been holding back slid down her cheeks as she told him the story.

  “So I think I’m not really welcome there at the moment,” she sniffled, wiping her face on her sleeve.

  “Your father, though. What will he say?”

  Rosa bit her lip. “I’ll call him tonight. Or...wait. I think he’s out of town. Maybe tomorrow, then. I’ll tell him what happened, let him know I’m okay. I’m sure my mother, and Sophie, will give their versions of what ‘really’ happened. He’ll be upset, for my sake, but he’s never been one to rock the boat with my mother. He usually just rolls over and does as she says, or lets her do as she pleases.”

  “But she slapped you.” Aedan’s voice was hard.

  “It’s the first time she’s hit me in the face.” Rosa shook her head. “She’s either so distant, or actually absent. Or like this. With a hair trigger.”

  “Well,” Aedan wrapped his arms around her, drawing her closer. “Like I said, you’re welcome to stay here. For as long as you need.”

  He went silent. Rosa waited for him to say something else. After a few minutes, she squeezed his hand. “Hey. You’re a million miles away. What’s on your mind?”

  “Just, well, in less than... What? Two months? I’ve gone from a single guy to apparently having a sort of live-in girlfriend.” He gave her a crooked grin. “I’m not quite sure how all that happened.” His fingers slid through her hair. “But I think I’m glad it has. It’s just a lot to take in.”

  He interrupted himself by kissing her quickly before pulling her to her feet. “Come on, you can put your stuff away. I cleaned out a drawer and moved things around in the bathroom.” He looked at the bag at her feet, the pillow resting on top.

  “Is that it? I somehow expected more. You being a rich girl and all.” He ducked as she swatted at him with the pillow.

  “I was in a hurry,” Rosa protested. “But no, I really don’t need that much.” She sighed, and held the pillow to her chest. It felt strange to know she couldn’t go home.

  Aedan nodded. “And the pillow?”

  Rosa laughed, cutting off the melancholy that had been building. “Well, you tend to hug things when you sleep, Aedan. You have to have a pillow under your head, and then hug something to your chest. And it’s either me, or my pillow. I don’t mind being hugged, but I’m tired of my pillow going missing in the middle of the night.”

  “I don—Dully noted,” Aedan chuckled. He picked up her bag, and her, carrying both of them to his room. He set her down and pointed to the drawer she could have and the shelf in the bathroom.

  Rosa hesitated. “I hope this is okay, Aedan. I really appreciate at it. I don’t want to impose.”

  “Woah. Hey.” Aedan crossed the room to her, wrapping her in his arms again and slipping two fingers under her chin to tip her head up so she had to meet his eyes. “You’re my girlfriend. And... I won’t say it’s not a little strange for me, knowing that you’ll be here all the time; I’ve never lived with a woman before. But imposing is the last thing you’re doing.”

  “And you’re comfortable with it?” Rosa’s eyes moved over his face, searching. “I know it’s all a little fast, and I could get a hotel, if you need me to. I—”

  He laid a finger over her lips, grinning down at her. “Hush, you. Stop trying to talk me out of coming home every day to a gorgeous girl in my life.”

  “Well, when you put it that way,” Rosa laughed.

  “Things have changed so much for me. And sure, it’s a lot of change all at once. I’m still adjusting. But it’s good change.” Aedan drew her closer. “You’re good for me.” He grinned. “Frank says my English has improved since I’ve met you. Apparently I don’t swear as much as I used to.”

  “Well thank goodness I’ve made some kind of positive impact.”

  Aedan pulled her down to the bed. “Now you’re just being rude,” he growled against the curve of her throat.

  “Better shut me up, then.”

  “Gladly.”

  Chapter 16

  Rosa met her father at a restaurant he had taken her to many times when she was young. It seemed ageless, in the way some old New York restaurants were, exactly the same as it had been when she was a child.
She was even certain the elderly waiter who took their order was the same man who had served them on their last trip there years before.

  “Your mother told me what happened,” he said when they were seated. “Her version of it, at least.” There was flat disapproval in his tone.

  Rosa had called him, the night it happened. She hadn’t wanted to take the chance her mother would get her side of the story in first. Either she hadn’t, or it didn’t matter, because the look on her father’s face was one she’d never seen there before. Irritation, frustration, yes. But the anger was something new. She wondered what decision he’d come to in the two days since they’d talked.

  “I know your mother very well, Rosa.” Her father took a sip of his bourbon, the ice clinking in the glass, and met her eyes. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m fine, Dad. Really.” Rosa toyed with her fork. “Aedan has...” She broke off, unsure how much she wanted to tell her father about Aedan. They hadn’t had any conversations about him after Aedan had been fired from the restaurant.

  “It’s all right, angel. You can talk about him. I know how important he is to you, even if I’m not so sure he’s the right man in your life at the moment. Let’s just say I’m trying to keep an open mind.”

  “I’m staying with Aedan. He invited me, after Mom...” Rosa sighed. “Anyway. He’s got a big fight coming up—I don’t think I told you that. I’m trying to be supportive, but it’s hard.”

  The waiter appeared with their order, and Rosa offered him a smile. She picked at her salad as he walked away.

  “What’s really bothering you, Rosa?” Her father’s voice was gentle. “Is it your mother, or something with Aedan?”

  Rosa laid down her fork and looked up at her father. “It’s the fight,” she admitted. “I worry. He says I worry too much, but I’m afraid he’s going to get hurt.”

  “I’m sure that’s a real possibility. Boxing is a dangerous sport.”