Submit (Out of the Octagon, #1)

by Lexy Timms

  Rosa shook her head. “It’s mixed martial arts. Which is worse. It’s like barely controlled chaos.” She tapped a fingertip nervously against the table. Then stopped. “There’s punching and hitting. And kicking. It’s just overwhelming to think he wants to do this professionally.”

  For a long moment, her father was silent. Rosa poked at the lettuce on her plate, took a bite. He cut a piece off his steak but didn’t eat it. “Angel,” he said slowly. “Do you think that Aedan is really the best choice for you? Or you for him?”

  Rosa’s stomach dropped. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

  “I think you know.” Her father’s gaze held hers. “Sweetie, I’m not demanding that you leave him, but think about it this way. The two of you are from very different worlds. I didn’t have what we have now, when I was growing up, but even I can’t claim to really have experienced the kind of life he’s lived. I’ve never been poor. And you have never known anything but wealth and comfort. I wanted it that way.” He toyed with the fork in his hand. “I never wanted you to have to worry about anything.” He hesitated and then leaned forward. “Aedan, though, has never had the advantages you do. And that’s always going to be a barrier between you. Add to that your concerns about the fighting—which he is obviously committed to—and I’m just not sure the relationship is one you should be pursuing.”

  “That’s not fair, dad.” Rosa set her napkin down. “It’s not Aedan’s fault he wasn’t born with money. It doesn’t make him less. He’s a good man.”

  “That’s not at all what I’m saying.” Her father sighed. “I’m saying, angel, that as much as you might try, you can never understand what he has lived through.” He set his bourbon glass aside. “You will never have to worry about where your next meal is coming from, or even about getting a job if you don’t want one. You choose to share whatever home he has, but you always have the option of leaving. That’s something he can’t do.” He watched her, his eyes sad. “Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

  Biting her lip, Rosa nodded.

  “You’ve told me that fighting is what he wants to do with his life. You’ve also told me it worries you. So you have to decide. Can you deal with the consequences of his ambitions? Because he’s not going to drop his dream for you.” His voice softened. “And it’s not fair to ask him to.”

  I never thought of it like that. The words lingered on the tip of Rosa’s tongue, but she didn’t say them, because of course her father knew, or he wouldn’t have brought up the subject in the first place. She thought over the questions he’d asked, and shook her head. “Honestly, Dad, I... I don’t know.”

  She wanted to support Aedan. But the thought of him injured, bleeding—the knowledge that he could suffer permanent damage, or worse—was impossible to push aside.

  “It’s something you should think about,” he said, lifting his bourbon glass to his lips again. “Both of you deserve that much.”

  Silence fell over them, then. Rosa thinking about Aedan and their future. What was going through her father’s mind she couldn’t have said. She picked up her fork and mechanically ate her salad. Her father finished his steak.

  Finally, she pushed her plate away. “Dad? Was that all you wanted to talk to me about? You think I’m making a mistake. Or do you not want me to make the same mistake you did?” She was pushing it, she knew it but couldn’t stop herself.

  “Aedan’s important to you. And your happiness is important to me.” Her father took a deep breath. “But no. That’s not all I wanted to speak to you about.” He lifted a hand to catch the attention of the waiter walking past, and ordered another bourbon. Then he turned back to Rosa.“I wanted to tell you that I’ve decided to divorce your mother.”

  Rosa blinked.

  It wasn’t that she was particularly shocked by the idea of someone wanting to cut ties with her mother; she understood the feeling intimately. But her father had never shown any interest in confronting his wife before. Rosa had given up on him ever realizing he might be better off without her.

  “What made you decide?” she asked finally.

  “This last incident.” Her father pushed his plate aside as well. “I’ve let her get away with far too much over the course of our marriage. But not this. This has pushed me over the edge. Or, it’s been a wakeup call to something I should’ve done a long time ago.”

  Rosa reached across the table, taking her father’s hand. “Dad, I’m so sorry. This must be hard for you.”

  “Actually, not as much as you’d think.” He flashed a smile that almost reached his eyes. “I do have you to thank though, at least in part.”

  Rosa frowned at her father. “Me? Why would you thank me?”

  “You reminded me what loving someone should be. And that I don’t have to sit and endure.” He took a sip of bourbon. “Your mother stopped loving me a long time ago. I see in you and Aedan what we were like when we were first together.” He squeezed her hand. “I know I’ve expressed some doubt about your relationship, but it’s plain to me how much you love him, against all the odds. It makes me realize staying with your mother isn’t what I should be doing. It’s a sham and both she and I are better than that. She’d found her outlet through...other activities. Other men. And I’ve let her get away with that in the context of our marriage far too long.”

  “What’re you going to do? Are you moving out?”

  Her father sat back, shaking his head. “No. I own the building and the apartment. Your mother’ll get enough through the divorce settlement to set herself up nicely, wherever she chooses. I wish her no ill, but I want her out of my—our—home.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “And by our, I mean your home too, Rosa. You are always welcome there. I know you’re an adult, with a life of your own, but you’ll always have a place to come home to.”

  Rosa brushed sudden tears from her eyes. “Thanks, Dad. That means more than you realize. Right now, though, I’m happy where I am. With Aedan.”

  “Is this a permanent move?”

  “I don’t know. I just...didn’t feel I could stay at home, and Aedan offered. It’s hard for him; it’s a big adjustment. But he’s so focused on his fight right now I don’t think he’s really thought about it.”

  “When’s the match?”

  “Tomorrow.” Rosa fidgeted with her fork. “I still haven’t told him if I’ll be there or not. I just can’t make myself say the words. It’s too hard. I’m too scared of what’ll happen if he gets hurt.”

  Her father reached across the table, placing his hand over hers. “Give it some thought, angel. I’m sure you’ll find the answer. And if you need me, for anything, I’m never more than a phone call away.”

  AEDAN WAS AT THE APARTMENT when she let herself in, sitting on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table.

  “Why aren’t you at the gym? Is something wrong?”

  Aedan shook his head. “No, Frank wanted me to get a good night’s sleep, so he sent me home. Where were you?”

  “I had lunch with my father.” Sighing, she sank down on the couch next to Aedan. “He’s divorcing my mother.”

  “Holy shit. Where did that come from?” He reached for her hand.

  “I guess he finally decided to stop letting her treat him so badly.”

  Aedan pulled Rosa to him and she rested her head in his lap. His hand settled warmly on her shoulder, thumb stroking over the curve of it. “I’m sorry, Rosa. It must be hard.”

  “Not so much,” Rosa admitted quietly. “I’m sad for my dad, but it’s something he should’ve done a long time ago.”

  They were quiet for a long time, Aedan’s fingers carding gently through Rosa’s hair. She took a breath and let it out again, her father’s words playing through her mind. Was she really supporting him? Could she give him what he needed while he chased his dream?

  “What time do you have to leave tomorrow?” She turned her head to look up at him, eyes moving over the curve of his jaw.

  “Frank wa
nts me at the gym early. He’ll take me to the bout.”

  She heard the unasked question in Aedan’s voice. She sighed and sat up. For a moment she was silent, wondering if she was making the right decision. There was no going back from this point. But his eyes were locked with hers, a silent plea behind the still acceptance in his expression. If she wanted him, she needed to be there for him. Really be there.

  “I’ll come.”

  Aedan stared at her. “You mean that?”

  Despite the nervous worry that still coiled in her stomach, Rosa smiled. “Yeah, I mean it.”

  His arms closed around her, drawing her in close, and Aedan laughed. “I didn’t think... I wasn’t sure... It means a shit-load. I mean, I won’t disappoint you.” He brushed kisses against her jaw, her cheek, her mouth.

  She could feel the relief thrumming through him. The joy. She hadn’t realized how much her indecision had weighed on him until she felt that weight lifted.

  “I told you I’d support you.” She smiled up at him. “And I meant that.”

  Aedan’s mouth found hers again, and this time she opened to the kiss, sinking into it. When it broke, both of them were breathing faster.

  “You sure you should be starting something?” She teased as his hands slid up her thighs. “After all, you’re supposed to be getting an early night.”

  “Then I guess we’ll just need to see how fast I can get you off.”

  Rosa was still laughing as he threw her over his shoulder and hauled her off to the bedroom.

  Chapter 17

  Rosa woke to Aedan untangling himself from the blankets. Fuzzy with sleep, she watched him pull on clothes. She should get up, but the bed was warm and the thought of dragging herself from it was daunting. Dressed, Aedan leaned down and brushed his lips against her forehead.

  “Go back to sleep, babe. I’ll see you there. I slept in a bit too.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s the afternoon fight. Big fights are in the evenings. I’ll be there one day.”

  She reached up, catching him before he could turn away, and drew him down for a real kiss.

  “See you there,” she agreed as he pulled back. “I love you, Aedan.”

  “I love you too.” He lingered to kiss her one more time, and then he was gone.

  WHEN SHE WOKE AGAIN, the afternoon sun was shining in through the window. She glanced at the clock, and sat abruptly upright. Lying beside it was a flier for the fight, with the location and the time. Rosa grabbed it, glancing down at the information. She was going to be late if she didn’t haul her ass out of bed and get moving. How could she have overslept on the most important day of Aedan’s career?

  She’d showered and dressed, and was doing her makeup when her phone rang. Probably Aedan, checking in on her. Rosa answered without glancing down at the screen.

  “Where are you?” Her mother’s voice demanded, steadily rising in pitch and volume as it went on. “You need to come home! Right now!”

  Great! She’s freakin’ out about the divorce. Her mother melting down was exactly the kind of thing she didn’t have the time or the inclination to deal with.

  “I’m not coming home, Mom.” Rosa leaned closer to the mirror, adding a bit of mascara, the phone caught between her ear and her shoulder.

  “You don’t understand!” She sounded like she was on the verge of tears, and Rosa felt a little twist of guilt for not being more sympathetic. Honestly, it hadn’t occurred to her that her mother would even be upset by the divorce. She’d been in everyone’s bed but her husband’s for years. Why should she care that he was finally making it official?

  “What don’t I understand?” Rosa sighed. She screwed the cap back on the mascara and straightened up, wandering into the living room to sit down on the couch.

  “Your father is divorcing me.” There was a sob in the words, and Rosa wasn’t entirely sure if it was genuine or for effect.

  “And?”

  “And maybe you should have a little sympathy for your mother!”

  Rosa let her head tip back against the couch, staring up at the dingy ceiling. “I’m not sure I get why it bothers you. You don’t love him.”

  Probably not the best choice of response, if she wanted to keep her mother calm, but Rosa couldn’t find it in herself to care. When the woman wasn’t absent, or ignoring her, she was treating Rosa like a misbehaving child. I’ve had enough of that. And enough of her.

  Her mother made a sound like a cat that had been stepped on. “He’s going to turn me out! At my age.”

  Rosa swallowed back a laugh. She’d never heard her mother admit to her age before. But laughing at her would be too unkind. As frustrated as she was with her mother, she wasn’t going to be that cruel. “He’s not dumping you on the street, Mom. You’ll be plenty taken care of, and free to go live your life however you want. With as many men as you please.”

  Okay, so maybe she wasn’t going to be as nice as she’d planned.

  “You never used to treat me so terribly,” her mother snapped. “Not until you met Aedan. What has gotten into you, Rosa? Is he doing something to you to make you so mean?”

  “Mean?” Rosa got up from the couch, giving her irritation some outlet through movement. “Acknowledging the truth isn’t mean. I’m standing up for myself and setting boundaries. Something I should have done years ago.”

  What time was it?

  “And for the record, Aedan has been nothing but good for me.” Rosa paced into the bedroom, glancing at the clock, and frowned. Time was running shorter than she’d thought. She needed to call a car. Her mother was still prattling on in the background, and Rosa dragged her attention back to the words.

  “—and I can’t believe you’d speak to me like this! Which you still haven’t apologized for, by the way.”

  “You’re not going to get an apology,” Rosa said, forcing herself to keep the words calm. “Not after you slapped me. And I’m not going to sit here and listen to this anymore. I need to go.”

  “Don’t you hang up on me, Rosalyn Thomas!”

  “Unless you have something worth actually saying to me, I don’t have time.”

  Her mother sniffled. “You never have time for me.”

  “Never have...” Rosa barked a laugh. “I can’t believe you actually just tried to pull that. Like I’m the one who spent most of my childhood absent. My nanny had more of a role in my life than you did!”

  “How can you say that?”

  “Because it’s true!” Rosa spun on her heel, one hand lifting to run through her hair. “And I’m not having this fight right now, Mom. If you want to actually talk to me, we can set up lunch one day. Or a time for a call. But now I’m going.”

  “You can’t just declare the conversation over! It isn’t done!”

  “I can. And it is. Goodbye, mother.”

  Rosa hung up the phone before her mother could start shouting again. She glanced once more at the clock, and her heart beat faster. It was cutting it closer than she wanted to, and she still had to call the car service. She dialed the number and ran downstairs to wait, anxiously pacing until the Lincoln pulled to the curb.

  “Can you make it to this the MMA Bronx arena on time?” She held the flier out to the driver. The fight venue was in some remote part of the Bronx, somewhere she’d certainly never been.

  “I can try, ma’am. But no promises.” The car slid away from the curb as Rosa sat back, knee bouncing impatiently.

  The sounds of honking horns did nothing to lessen her anxiety. The last thing she wanted—the last thing Aedan needed—was for her to be late. But it was looking like she was going to be.

  She tried his cell phone, but it still went straight to voicemail. “Aedan,” she swallowed, “I’m in the car. Stuck in traffic.” Please pick up. “I’m on my way.”

  Rosa clicked the phone shut, drumming her fingers on the leather seat. The car was hardly moving. She leaned forward. “Any idea what’s going on?”

  The driver shook his head. “
No, ma’am. Just normal congestion, nothing unusual.” His impassive face in the rearview mirror made her shake her head.

  I should’ve hung up on her the first time I told her I had to go.

  What would Aedan think if she didn’t show up? If he thought she broke her promise?

  Let him be okay. Just let him be okay. She repeated the words over and over, looking out the window of the Lincoln. She tried to remember everything Aedan had told her about the match, anything she could grasp that would ease her anxiety, playing back every conversation they’d had in the previous weeks. It did no good. All she could think of was that he wanted her there and she wasn’t going to make it. And how devastated he would be.

  AEDAN WAS TRYING HARD not to be intimidated by the venue, but he’d never been any place with so many people. At least, he’d never been any place where so many people were going to be watching him. He took a deep breath, following Frank to the locker room.

  “Okay, Aedan. Get ready for the weigh in. I’ll be right there with you.”

  Aedan stripped off his shirt. Frank was back a minute later, to lead him through a maze of halls to the weigh-in area. He toed off his shoes, pulled off his sweats and stood on the scale in his briefs.

  “One fifty-five and a half!” Frank slapped him on the back and he stepped off the scale. “Okay. Get your trunks on and start warming up. I’ll be back shortly. You’ve a one-man team today. I got a lot I gotta get sorted.”

  He left, and Aedan was alone.

  Aedan went through his warm-up, shadow boxing in a corner, working through the rest of his pre-fight routine. Rosa crossed his mind, the way she did so often, and he found himself smiling. He’d been afraid she’d turn him down, that she’d keep telling him she couldn’t make up her mind. That he’d have to go forward without her just when he’d learned to let himself need someone.

  “Ready?”

  He turned to find Frank there again, and nodded. He felt high on the anticipation of it, and the knowledge that Rosa would be waiting for him. They went back out through the mess of hallways, to the big arena with the cage in its center.