1- The Glass Room 2- The Spirit Stone -3-bear Hugs-4- Believe

by Beverly Machado

  “I knew I would enjoy it here,” Anna said.

  “Me too, this is fun.”

  As they traveled back home to Picayune, Mississippi, Anna had been doing a lot of thinking and wanted to share it with Lilly.

  “First I want to thank you for this enjoyable and needed trip. We had fun didn’t we?” She looked over at her best friend who was knotting her head to the affirmative. “Well, I decided to go back to work. Joe would want me to go on and live my life, not sit around and mope. So it’s what I have to do for him and me. I need to be with those kids at school and help heal their scraps and cuts. That will keep my mind busy which I need. What do you think?”

  “I totally agree with you. Besides we all need you there.” Just as she said that, she turned off the interstate at the Gulfport, Ms. exit and pulled into an ice cream parlor.

  “What are you doing?”

  “We are going to get us a double hot fudge sundae to celebrate our trip and tomorrow we start back on our ridget diet and exercise program; a good ending to a week of fun, right? Besides we are pretty good looking sixty-one year old broads with good figures from our work-outs. We can make up for it when we get back to our exercise schedule.”

  “Yes,” Anna said while smiling at the one person that could always read her mind.

  Chapter Two

  It helped her to be back in a place she felt needed; and also a place with all her friends. Lilly taught tenth grade math and it helped her to have her best friend working there with her. They even went to the high school football games and sat with the Quarterback Club members. Part of her, she felt was missing, but if she didn’t continue with her life, then all of her would be missing. She tried not to look at the new coach pacing the sidelines like Joe use to do. Coach Al Penton was chosen to take her husband’s place and he was as good at controlling his team as Joe was.

  It was March 9th with only two months left to the end of school year. She could work the summer months if she chose to. That would fill her time. It was then when she was trying to decide what to do after the two months ended when her telephone rang.

  “Hello.”

  “I would like to speak to Anna.”

  “This is Anna.”

  “Hello, this is Jimmy. I don’t know if you remember me, but we met at Roseland Personal Care Center. Well, my wife died about ten months ago. You had offered to listen to me about how I felt and what I was going thru. I was wondering if you are alone and free if I could take you up on that offer.”

  “Yes, Jimmy, I remember you, and yes, I am alone and willing to listen to whatever you need to talk about. I could meet you at the coffee house on the boulevard in about an hour. Can you make it then?”

  “Yes. I will be there. Incase you don’t remember what I look like, I will be wearing a royal blue shirt. My hair is gray and as much as I hate it, it is receding. I’ll get us a table close to the window. See you then, and thanks.”

  Anna was wondering if she was doing the right thing. She never even thought about other men or dating. She just wasn’t ready for that. If his wife died ten months ago, he probably isn’t ready for that either. He just needs someone to listen to him. She remembered what he said, how people would hurry and change the subject if he mentioned his wife. Well, she thought, I will listen. I know what it is like.

  She spotted him as soon as she entered the coffee shop. She wasn’t one to judge men or to admire them, but Jimmy was even, at his age which was probably mid sixties, a handsome man. I must be lonelier than I realize.

  Careful, girl, she thought. She walked up to his table and he immediately stood up and pulled out the chair for her.

  “Thank you for coming. I hope I didn’t intrude on anything important in your evening?”

  “No, you didn’t. It was perfect timing. I really needed to get out of the house for a while.”

  “I am so glad that I called then. What is your favorite kind of coffee or would you rather a soft drink?”

  “I would like an iced mocha.”

  “That sounds good. I like mocha, but I never tried it iced. I’ll join you with that.”

  When their drinks arrived and he tasted it, he said, “Hey, this is good. Look what I’ve been missing all this time.” He started turning the straw while staring at it, and she knew he was deep in thought. Then with a little hesitation, he started talking. “It’s hard to get through the days; but the nights are worst. My days are filled with my job. That helps. And I shouldn’t complain because I don’t live alone. Never have I lived alone in all my life. I lived at home until I went to college, but even then I shared a room with my classmate. Then when I graduated, I married Emily, my girlfriend from college. After a few years, the children came along. I shouldn’t say this, but once you have children, you never seem to get rid of them. How many children do you have, Anna?”

  “Joe and I were never blessed with children. The school children took their place in our lives.”

  “I’m sorry. Why did the school children take their place?”

  “Joe and I worked for the Picayune High School. I still do. I am the school nurse. Joe was the High School Football Coach. Did you ever go to any of our games?”

  “Only one and I went alone. My boys never were interested in sports, and my wife never liked them either. When I watched football on television that was her cue to go shopping. It was the one thing I indulged myself in without her. We had a good marriage. A long lasting marriage, but not long enough. I didn’t think she would leave this world and leave me here without her. It is so hard. Every place I look, I see her. She is suppose to be sitting on the passenger seat when I drive. I look over and hope I am dreaming and she is there, but it’s not a dream. It never ends. She’s everywhere with me, but not really anywhere. Do you know what I mean?”

  Anna just knotted her head, yes.

  “She was so young; just sixty two. That’s too young to leave this world. But I am fortunate that I don’t live alone. When our youngest son married, he and his bride moved in our house with us. Actually she just moved in because he already lived with us. I have a large house which can be divided in two; so having them there, they still have their privacy, and we did too. Do you know the section they call Garden Lane?” Anna nodded her head, yes. “Well that’s where I live. I am very fortunate that I have my son and my daughter-in-law living in that big house with me. At least I’m not alone. I don’t know how to cook. Emily never wanted me in the kitchen while she cooked so I never learned, but I am so lucky because Gail, my daughter-in-law, cooks for me. She has always been the daughter I never had. When we sit at the dinner table and look at the empty chair, this feeling like I am only half a person comes over me. At first I couldn’t eat. I would just get my ice tea and go and sit on the swing on the back porch. But that made it worse because that was her favorite place to sit. It is maddening. My thoughts are on her constantly. Oh, Anna, I’m sorry; I must be bringing back bad memories to you. How long has it been for you?”

  “Last November made a year. I promised I would listen to you, remember? I’m okay. Do you have friends to help you thru this? I remember you said no one wants to listen to you, but do you have friends to pass the time with?”

  “Yes, I play a little golf at one of the resorts right off of highway 11. It does help to be with other people even if I am not very good at this golf game yet. It’s new to me; so I am a learner. You must live here in Picayune since you work here.”

  “Yes, I have a small house on South Curran Street. Sometimes on pretty days, I walk to work. It’s a long walk, but that is what I like to do. Do you like to walk?”

  “I know I should walk, but I don’t. Even playing golf, I ride around in the golf cart. But that is something else that makes me feel bad. The times I watched football on TV, I should have spent that time with Emily. Why didn’t I realize that? It’s not just the loneliness, b
ut the guilt that is overbearing at times. I try not to think about it, but it keeps popping up in my head. Things that I should have done for her and didn’t; things that I said, and shouldn’t have; things that I should have said like “I love you” and didn’t say it enough. Why do we have to lose someone we love before we realize what we did was wrong. Why didn’t I realize the times I just passed by her like she was part of the house when I should have held her in my arms.” He had been looking down while talking to her, but when he looked up at her, he saw the tears running down her face. “I’m sorry. Forgive me. You are going thru the same thing I am going thru. I’m talking too much.”

  “Yes, I think I should take you up on this walking thing. Where do you walk?”

  Wiping away the tears, she said, “I walk the Goodyear Boulevard walking trail. That’s what we call it. It is measured off so we can judge how far we walked that day. It is only 3/4 of a mile one way, but we walk there and back so we are walking 1.5 miles each day. I only walk three days a week. I meet my friends there. Would you like to walk with us? We are going this Saturday. Wanna come?”

  “Yes, that sounds good. I’ve got to get something going in my life that is different. I’m really not good at golf. I’ll meet you there. What time do you start?”

  “About seven pm. That’s when the traffic slacks down.”

  “I’ll be there. I owe you a lot; first for listening to me and for teaching me the best way to drink Mocha; and for inviting me to walk with you and your friends. I’ll see you Saturday.” He walked her to her car and thanked her again. He realized how much better he felt, that now he had someone that understands how he feels, and is going thru the same thing.

  Chapter Three

  Saturday came and he was getting excited about meeting new people. Besides he needed to get some exercise and walking was always a pleasure to him. The weather was perfect. The temperature was hovering about sixty-eight degrees with a southeast breeze blowing which meant rain was on the way. Azaleas were in bloom all around the city. As many times as he drove down this boulevard and saw people out walking, he never thought about joining them before. He parked his car by the city library that faced the so called “walking trail”. It’s then he saw Anna and quickly waved to her. She motioned for him to come join them. They just slowed their walking pace, but never stopped.

  “Hi, Jimmy, come meet my friends, Lilly and Jake, and Fred and Inez.” She went down the line of all introductions not expecting him to remember all of them; while he picked up the pace to be in step with the others. She had talked with her friends earlier. “Let’s not walk as fast until he gets use to keeping up with us. He said he hadn’t walked in a while.” They all agreed with her.

  He fell in step with the crowd and was glad he came. He was also glad he chose to wear his khaki shorts. Everyone was wearing short pants even Anna, he thought; even Anna, wait a minute, I never noticed her as a woman before, but only as a person I could talk to. He gave her a second look. She was wearing blue jean shorts and a sleeveless white blouse. No wonder she is so shapely with this walking routine she does; and pretty to boot. I was so absorbed with my own problems that I never took notice of what a good-looking woman she is, he thought. For some reason, she made him feel better having to face his life without his beloved wife. He closed his eyes momentarily. He was not going to let his loss over-power him now as it usually does.

  No one talked much while they walked. This was their time to stay in step with each other. He did well for his first time hiking in quite a while.

  “Hey Jimmy, sometimes we make two trips around this trail. That gives us three miles, but since this is your first hiking trip with us, you might want to just walk the 3/4 mile one way and one time. What do you think?”

  “I’m not one to give in. I’ll walk around it twice as you all do.”

  “Okay, just warning you,” Lilly said laughing.

  When they had completed their scheduled miles, some of them returned to their cars, but Anna’s closest friends were including him in their conversation.

  “Hey everyone; I heard they opened the snowball stand on Hwy 11. Who wants a nice cold snowball?” Lilly asked.

  “That does sound good,” replied Anna. “How about you, Jimmy, you need to cool down?”

  “I’m right with all of you.”

  Several of them piled into Jake’s van and where it was quiet while they walked, they were making up for it now. Everyone was talking at the same time. The snowball stand and the train station was near each other, leaving a park like area in-between. There was cement benches placed under the large Live Oak Tree. Opened umbrella like branches of the tree extended over several cement benches for customers to enjoy their treat. After hurrying to get in line for their snowballs they headed to the cement benches. Lilly and Anna sat on one and Jake and Jimmy on one that was the closest to them.

  “They seem to be hitting it off,” Lilly said. “Men’s talk. You know, Anna, he would be a good catch.”

  “I’m not ready for that yet, and I’m sure with his wife dying just ten months ago, he is not either.”

  “You’re sure of that?” Lilly said while giving her a sligh look.

  “Yes, Lilly, I’m sure of that. I know what that look you gave me means. Sometimes I think I can read your mind.”

  “And I know what that look means when he looks at you, when you don’t notice. Really. Well, we’ll see as time passes. Don’t get mad at me, but I am going to invite him to go to the Saturday matinee with us next Saturday, okay?”

  “Go ahead. Play your little game,” Anna said, “but leave me out of it.”

  “Hey, Jimmy, would you like to join us for the movie matinee next Saturday?”

  “Sure, that sounds great. Want me to meet y’all there?”

  “No, we will pick you up; just give Jake instructions to your home.”

  “Now see. That was easy. Work with me, Anna. We can’t let that lonely man suffer.”

  “No, Lilly, listen to me. I’m not ready to have a man in my life. Okay?”

  Lilly didn’t say a word, while giving her that same smirk look. Anna just shook her head.

  Anna remembered him saying he lived in the area northeast of Picayune which is where the elite people in this city live. She had only been in this section a few times in her life. What fascinated her the most in this rich section were the fences; mostly because that was the people’s way of having their privacy, so many of the homes could not be seen. The seven foot brick fence had black wrought iron gates that remained closed. It covered about ten acres of land shaded with Live Oak Trees and several Long Leaf Pines. The house or any building within could not be seen. On the west side of the red brick wall were vines growing so thick that it was hard to see the area beneath. Then there was the white lattice fence surrounding a two story mansion that had such a clean elegant look that it captivated her. Just a few blocks away was a white picket fence with a charming house and buildings that it, too, caught her eye. But her favorite fence was the decorative black wrought iron fence partially hiding the two story white house with black shutters. Pink flowers were blooming in the window boxes while wine colored Azaleas were in full bloom and adding its color. It was so charming it reminded her of a cottage in a fairy tale she read as a child.

  Even the names of the streets was interesting to her; like Rose Lane, Daisy Lane, Gardenia Lane, Orchid Lane, but when they turned onto Magnolia Lane, Jake pulled in the drive way and up to the house. Anna had her mouth opened. This is the house that she most admired. It was the one that reminded her of a fairy tale with the decorative wrought iron fence. Jimmy was waiting outside for his new friends. He still fascinated her with his good looks. Lilly looked over at Anna. She was watching how her friend was looking Jimmy over. All she said was, “ah-huh.” Anna heard her, but wouldn’t look her in the eye.

  The two women sat in the back
, leaving the front for the men. The movie theater was on the north side of town. Where Jake sat on the end seat, Lilly next to him, Anna next to Lilly, that left Jimmy to sit next to Anna. They got two large containers of popcorn for them to share. They were all so captivated by the movie that both Jimmy and Anna reached for the popcorn at the same time; their hands touching, sending a tingling feeling thru her. She could tell Jimmy felt it, too.

  “I’m sorry, ladies first,” he said while smiling at her.

  As they drove Jimmy home, Anna asked him, “Are you going to walk with us this evening?”

  “Yes, I am looking forward to it. See you all there.”

  Chapter Four

  Jimmy’s son, Bill, was watching as the van pulled out of the driveway. He watched as his father walked to the house. Something was different about him. What is it, he questioned himself; his walk, there was more of a bounce to his step, his posture, his shoulders weren’t drooping as they did since Mother died, his eyes seemed smiling. I have to talk to him. He is so vunable now since Mother died.

  “Hi Bill, how are you today?”

  “Dad, who are those people you were with?”

  “They are my new friends. I walk with them down the Goodyear Boulevard. I am getting the exercise I have needed. We just went to the matinee, and about seven this evening I’m going to meet them for our walk.”

  “Our walk! What does that mean, our? Where did you meet your new friends? Don’t you think it is too soon after Mama died to be meeting new people?”

  “You can wipe those worry lines off your forehead; you have nothing to be worried about. I would like you and Gail to meet them. Well not all of them that walk together, but some of them.”

  “Dad, I asked you where did you meet these people?”

  “When I was at Roseland with your mother, the people there were friendly with everyone; the ones sitting with their loved ones and some of the ones that were still aware of what was going on. We all exchanged names, but out of all of them, I remembered the name of one of the ladies that was sitting with her husband. He also had Alzheimers’. A couple of weeks ago, I telephoned her. I told her I needed someone to talk to or rather someone to listen to me. Depression was setting in on me. I had to do something to get hold of myself. ”