1- The Glass Room 2- The Spirit Stone -3-bear Hugs-4- Believe

by Beverly Machado

  “You have given me what I have been starving for. I needed you as much as you needed me. Stay here with me holding me in your arms. Even that is what I have been starving for. Not just the sex, but the love and the nearness of you. Yes, I do love you passionately.”

  “Is it possible for a person to have two solemates? It must be.”

  “Yes, it has to be, for you are my new solemate.”

  “It has been so long that I did without sex. Not just since this year that Emily died, but the ten years that she didn’t even know who I was.”

  “Yes, it has been that long for me, also. That is why I needed you so. Not just for sexual fulfillment, but the love I feel for you that you are returning to me.”

  Their passionate kisses aroused their needs again. He whispered, “Now this time we will take it slower and relish each move we make, together.” And they did. Their needs finally satisfied; their love overflowing as they held each other close.

  When her breathing returned to normal she asked him, “I wonder if you are hungry, my love?”

  “Oh, I did say I was going to take you to the fish house to eat. I will try to regain some strength and shower and dress. I don’t want to deny you of anything, ever. Are you hungry?”

  “I am too filled with ecstasy to feel the need for food. I don’t want this feeling to end yet as I baste in our after-glow; so I will say, I am not hungry for food. Your love filled me up. Let’s lie here a little longer than we will decide. Okay?”

  “Yes, let me feel your nearness a little longer. Now that I let my feelings for you known, how am I going to leave you to return to my home, alone?”

  “My love for you will be with you where ever you go. Always remember that.”

  They finally recovered from their love-making that she said to him. “Let’s go in the kitchen and see what we have to eat. I don’t have anything cooked, but I do not want to go out to eat. How do you feel about just grilled cheese sandwiches? Do you like that?”

  “That sounds good. That is one of my favorites,” he said as he finally got out of the bed. Let me take a quick shower and I will help you make them. I am hungry, but would rather stay here alone with you.”

  “Feel like celebrating our love? I have a bottle of champagne that Lilly gave me that was left over from her daughter’s wedding. I have been having it for a year now. Are you up for that?”

  “Perfect. Grilled cheese sandwiches and champagne, a perfect celebration meal.”

  It was such a closeness that enveloped them as they glowed from their sharing of love; but now the time came for Jimmy to leave. He didn’t want to leave her, but he knew Bill and Gail were up waiting for him to come home. He didn’t want to worry them. He especially didn’t want to make his son angry again. When he pulled into the drive and parked his car in the garage, he noticed the upstairs light was on and then as he was about to enter the house, the light went off. He knew his son and daughter-in-law was waiting up for him.

  The next morning at breakfast Jimmy tried to make pleasant conversation to ease the tension that prevailed in this house. “How’s everything at your job? The auditor is finished?”

  “Yes, the one thing about finance companies is people will let other bills go, but they always pay the premiums on their loans. They know that if they keep a good credit rating with us, whenever they are in need of cash we will help them.”

  “That’s good. So even in these hard economy times you feel security with your job?” Bill just knotted yes. “Well I was wondering if you both wanted to go with me and Anna to the Arts and Craft Fair on West Canal next weekend. A quick ‘no’ came from his son. “We are not planning on going. It is too hot.”

  “Well, I thought it would be a good time to meet my friend, Anna.”

  “Look, Dad. We are not interested in meeting your new friend.”

  “Bill, it’s been a year already since your mother passed away. Don’t you think it is time for me to start dating?”

  Bill hurriedly got up from his chair, while shouting, “No, I don’t!” He gave his wife a quick kiss, grabbed his briefcase and was out the door heading to work. Gail just lowered her head looking at the floor.

  “Anna, my retirement party is two weeks from now. I was hoping you and Lilly and Jake would join me and the people I work with. It will be held at a reception hall here in the city. You will come won’t you?”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I want to be at your side for any occasion you are involved in.”

  “Wonderful, I was hoping you would say that.”

  Since he retired and Anna was not working this summer, they had lots of time to share together. They did go to the Street Fair and to the park to listen to the band. They visited the Arboretum and walked the trails with the tour guide. They picnicked at the park and since a softball game was being played, they stayed and watched it. They ate many times at the fish houses in Picayune and enjoyed going to the movies. There was so much to do in her city.

  When she went to his Retirement Celebration she bought a powder blue suit to wear. With her shoulder length black hair, blue was her most becoming color. Jimmy looked so proud of her that it made her feel pretty. They were inseparable enjoying their new life together. They overflowed with love. When the Picayune High School Football games started they were at each game, howling and cheering on their team together. Watching the football games on TV was a time for them to nestle together on the sofa cheering for their favorite team. Christmas would soon be upon them and they visited the Christmas Tree Farm and picked out the fullest tree they saw. Decorating the tree was an enjoyable togetherness they both shared. When they had the tree decorated to their satisfaction, they turned the colorful lights on and enjoyed the eggnog and Christmas cookies Anna made. The emptiness they felt when they both lost their spouses were filled with the love for each other.

  One night after eating out at a Chinese Restaurant and the movies, they returned to Anna’s house. After their love-making, they laid in bed holding on to each other. Anna whispered to Jimmy. “Spend the night with me. I don’t want to be alone and missing the feel of you. Your family knows where you are if they need you.”

  “I don’t want to leave you. I’ve got to quit worrying about them and put you first in my life. Yes, I will love to stay and hold you all night. It will be nice to wake in the morning and still be with you. My love, it’s what I have been wanting all the time.” He hugged her a little closer. “Oh, it feels so good to hold you.”

  It was so peaceful here. The tension at his home was over-bearing to him. His son would never accept his father replacing his mother with another woman. The more his son rebelled in his own way, the more Jimmy stayed away from his home and with Anna.

  It was on Christmas day after they shared their special dinner to celebrate the birth of Christ that Jimmy got down on one knee and asked Anna to marry him. He gave her a beautiful diamond engagement ring. She was elated. It’s what she was hoping for. To be his wife was the answer to her dream. “Yes”, she said. “Yes, I would love to marry my best friend and I must add ‘my lover’.” For them to spend the rest of their lives together, to grow old together, it was what they both hoped for.

  Now he had to break the news to his family.

  Chapter Six

  Ever since he started spending the nights at Anna’s, the tension grew much worse. But he couldn’t let his son’s feelings stop him from the happiness he was sharing with his new love. It started out with one night when Anna asked him to spend the night with her that he gladly stayed, holding her in his arms until they both fell to sleep. That was just the start of his sleeping over. That one night turned to a weekend which then turned into a week. He brought a suitcase of his clothes. He gradually moved in. He asked her first if it would cause her problems with her neighbors to have a man staying with her, but when she explained that her neighbors were
rentals that changed often, he understood. So he stayed; happily stayed; excitably stayed. He should have been worried about what his son thought, but he was too much in love with Anna to let it bother him.

  The time came for him to tell his family what his plans were; to tell them that he and Anna were going to get married. First, he decided it was best to tell Gail to get her opinion before he told anyone else. She was happy for him, but knew trouble was on the way.

  “Dad, you have been away from your own home and family for so long that you are not aware of what is going on. This is not a good time to say anything about you planning on getting married.”

  “Why not? What is going on? “

  “Well at this very moment, JD is flying in to Gulfport/ Biloxi Airport. He is coming home to talk to you. He didn’t want to discuss his situation on the phone. Bill and I are going to pick him up. His plane will arrive in three hours.”

  “Is he sick? Is that what’s wrong? Can you tell me or do I have to wait to hear it from him?”

  “I don’t know if I should tell you. Maybe it would be best to hear it from me first. I don’t know.”

  “I say it is best. Tell me, please. If you want, then I will pretend to not know. Okay?”

  Silence, thinking, wondering, then she started stumbling over her words as she started to tell him. “This started happening more than a year ago. You know the problems with the economy is hitting everyone in all walks of life. Well, first Susan lost her part-time job at the beauty parlor. Soon after that JD lost his job when the real-estate company he worked for went out of business. Houses weren’t being sold. People were being foreclosed on their mortgages so the banks went under. With no income except his and Susan’s unemployment, they moved in with her mother. But that didn’t work out. Her grandmother moved in because of her illness. She wasn’t able to care for herself anymore. With JD and his family there it was too crowded. The kids couldn’t adjust. They became rowdy; to put it mildly. The old lady couldn’t handle the noise so Susan’s parents had to put JD and his family out. That was a year ago all of that was going on. Now they have no income. Their unemployment ran out. They have no place to live, no money to rent. Their three cars, their boat, their son’s motorcycle, everything they owned was repossessed. They are destitute. They maxed out on their three charge cards. You are their only hope for a place to stay.”

  “Well if that is what they need, they can stay here downstairs in my part of this house.”

  “No, that is not what they want to do. Susan does not want to live down south. She is from the north in Fayetville, Minnesota and won’t leave her large family. If he moves here, he will have to do it without his wife and kids. Now do you see the problem? They don’t even have a car anymore and they were use to each having their own transportation. Their nerves are shot. They are at a lost of what to do. That is why JD had to come and talk to you in person; not on a phone. Oh, I hope I did the right thing in telling you.”

  “You did. I’d rather hear it first from you then from my oldest son.”

  The more Jimmy thought about it, the angrier he became. Why am I being saddled down in my life now when I am at my happiest with the woman I am going to marry? What does he want from me? I’ll give him money and then I will be rid of him and get back to my life. Gail and Bill left to pick up JD. He had time to think of what was ahead of him, but he had no idea how drastic this was going to change his life.

  They all came in. Bill’s face with a resentment look; JD with a dishearten look; Gail with an anguish look, and there was Jimmy with an apprehension look. They all headed to the living room with Jimmy following behind them. He was so glad Gail informed him of what to expect. A pause, then JD was trying how to word his problem to his dad.

  “Well Dad, I guess you are wondering why I felt the need to fly down here to talk to you. To make a long story short, I am flat broke, and homeless. I lost my job. The real estate I worked for shut down. We weren’t selling houses. The mortgage companies were foreclosing and with people losing their jobs all over town no one could buy houses. Oh, there are minimum wage jobs, but that won’t help us out of this situation we are in. I don’t even have a car to go hunt for another job, neither does Susan.”

  “How did you get yourself in this situation? You were making a big salary. Why didn’t you double up on your mortgage payments so it would be paid off in half the time? Infact, you and Susan have lived in that house for at least 18 years. It could have been paid off. Why did you think you had to have the most expensive cars and motorcycle, and the boat? Why did you need the boat? If you couldn’t pay cash for it, then do without until you save the money. Don’t you have any savings?”

  A meek voice replied “no.”

  “No savings! What did you do with all your money? How did you have the money to pay for the plane ticket?”

  “I borrowed it from a friend.”

  “Borrowed?”

  “Well, I couldn’t put it on any of my credit cards. We maxed out on all of them.”

  “What in the hell are you doing with credit cards in the first place? And what were you charging that you couldn’t pay cash for?”

  “Susan likes the best of everything; so most of the charges are hers.”

  Jimmy was getting madder by the minute. He sat there with his fist rolled up ready to punch a wall or something. A feeling he never had in his life. He had to relax. He felt his blood pressure rising. “Gail, would you get me another cup of coffee, please?” She hurried in the kitchen and returned with his coffee already sweetened.

  “What exactly do you own? You don’t own any one of your cars in the clear? What about furniture, own any of that?”

  “No, everything was charged and repossessed.”

  “Okay. Now that we got that out the way, what do you need from me?”

  “To put it mildly, everything.”

  “Don’t you realize this recession is hurting everyone that didn’t plan for it? I have my money invested in stocks and the stock market is heading down and I am losing a lot. I own my home and land and you are welcome to live here.”

  “Especially since you don’t, huh Dad?” said Bill.

  Another rolled up fist. He reached over and took a big swallow of his coffee.

  “Well, I’ll repeat, what exactly do you want from me?”

  “There is a double-wide trailer we could rent where all of us could live. It is in a trailer park just thirty miles from where our house was. I was hoping you would come and live with us and pay the rent and utilities.”

  “And food and clothes, and everything else your family through their money away on? Is that it?” This was just too much for Jimmy to comprehend. He got up and went outside. He needed fresh air and he needed to walk. All his life he and his wife paid cash for things they wanted. They never owned a credit card; didn’t want one. If they wanted something they couldn’t pay for, they saved until they could pay cash. What is wrong with these people today? Didn’t I teach my sons anything about handling their money?

  After a while of walking he entered the house again and went straight into the living room. “The way I see it, because your wife doesn’t want to move down south then I have to move up north. Is that right?”

  “Well, Dad, it is either that or I move here and lose my wife and kids.”

  “How is that going to help you to move here without your family. You are obligated to keep a roof over your children’s heads, food on their table, and clothes on their backs where ever you live. You are also responsible to support your wife. Even if you move you will have to pay her alimony. Don’t you see that you moving here and living in my house won’t help you?”

  “I have to get out of here! Spend the night! Let me think about this! We will talk tomorrow!” He left and headed straight to Anna.

  As soon as he entered her house and saw him with his head
lowered, she knew something was wrong.

  “My darling, what has happened to make you so sad?”

  He put his arms around her and held her close while he cried. Tears flowed so hard that he couldn’t stop. Anna was so worried. What could have made him so sad? He left here so happy. He wanted to tell his children our plans to marry. So what if they didn’t approve. He doesn’t need their approval. She led him to the sofa so he could relax. He was shivering. Something bad has happened; but what?

  “Anna, do we have any beer left for when we watch the football games on television? I could sure use one now.”

  “Yes, we do have several. I’ll get you one, but first, have you eaten?”

  “I forgot all about food. No, I haven’t eaten.”

  “Let me get you the beer you asked for, then I am going to fix you something to eat. I have meatballs and spaghetti cooked along with a salad. Would you want that? Or I could fix you something else.”

  “No, don’t fix something else. That sounds good.”

  Anna got his beer and handed it to him then went to the kitchen and heated his dinner. She did not want him drinking on an empty stomach. “It’s ready, Jimmy. Come eat, please. Bring your beer. I’ll even join you with one.”