Deny: A Dark, Erotic Motorcycle Club Romance

by Jade Chandler

  “Thinking about all the ways I fucked up.”

  He nodded. “I would be too, but it’s about time to think about how to kick ass.”

  I sat there and let my mind replay the highlight reel of my failures. All the times I’d fucked shit up—it was an impressive list.

  My phone rang, I swiped on the speaker. “What you got, Bear?”

  “I finally ran the little fucker to ground. He says he don’t know who Ren has working for him, but it’s two ex-cons he met in Dallas. And that he has no brothers or ex-members with him. Says Ren kicked them all to the curb when they fucked up the vote.”

  “How’s that help?” I was beyond frustrated.

  “It’s something to know he’s only got two with him. I told Rebel, and he’s working his Dallas connections.” The phone went dead.

  Dare picked up a walkie and relayed the information to the guys in the field.

  I scrubbed my face. “This nightmare won’t end.”

  About an hour later the club door swung open and Bear strode in full of bad attitude.

  He kicked out a chair and sat. “Fucking night won’t end.” He glanced down at his watch. “Still three hours until go time. Ollie’s getting some bulletproof vests from a guy we know. Ren’s style is to shoot you in the goddamn back.”

  They didn’t spout meaningless promises, or say one comforting word, but having my brothers there with me made a difference. We sat holding the vigil. I hoped shit changed but had no reason to think we’d get a Hail Mary play at the last minute.

  As the sun started to rise in the east, I heard a bike on the drive, or maybe more than one. Viper and Rock walked in together. With a nod they sat down, not saying a fucking word. Brothers surrounded me, giving me strength whether I deserved it or not.

  Another biker drove up and parked. Rebel rushed through the door. “Got news but my fucking phone is dead.”

  I stood. “Spill it.”

  “Got the address for the place where I think they’re keeping her. Out past Highway 7 on Janson Road there’s an old farmhouse there. One of the guys I persuaded said these two tough guys Lloyd and Daryl were bragging about the job a month or so ago. Anyway, he partied up there, and remembered 7 and I pieced together the rest. It’s maybe 85 percent positive—chance of error.” He looked to me.

  “Update the guys.” I pointed to Dare. “We’ll ride in fifteen. Ren is mine if he’s there.” I stared around the table to smiles and nods. My brothers were ready for war, just like me. “Hey—” I tapped Viper “—will you drive my truck? She may need care faster than we can get an ambulance there.”

  “Hell yeah.” He gave me a nod.

  We stood in a circle. “Plan’s simple. Get my old lady and remove anyone standing in our way.”

  I broke the circle and led the group out to our bikes. “Prez.” Dare called after me.

  “Take this.” He shoved a gun in my hands.

  I stuffed it in my waist and started my bike. Marr was hurt and we needed to get there before they tried to move her or worse decided they didn’t need her after all. I sped down the highway, doubling the legal limit in my hurry to find her. I slowed and turned down the country road, not wanting to announce my presence. I pulled my bike to the side of the road and leaned it down on the incline that met the side of the road.

  “Dare and Bear, with me. The rest of you give us five minutes and come ahead,” I told the guys.

  They followed me at a jog down the road. We scouted the yard but nothing moved at six in the morning. I gestured Dare around back while Bear and I covered the front door. On my sign, Bear kicked down the front door and we rushed inside, surprising the two sleeping thugs who were sprawled on the living room floor. Bear pointed his gun at them and they froze. Dare came in from the back, backing up Bear. I checked the last door, a bathroom, before running up the stairs. I refrained from calling out to Marr in case Ren was up here. The first door was unlocked and I opened it, ducking down—an empty room. The next closed door banged open and Ren sat upright on the bed.

  “Don’t move, fucker.” I aimed the gun straight at him.

  His dead eyes scanned the room.

  “Move a muscle and I blow you away here and now.” Not that he’d leave here alive.

  “Got your back,” Dare called from the hallway.

  “Shoot him if he moves, but I want him bad.” I backed away, needing to find Marr. I kicked open the third door, a bathroom. I hoped Marr was behind the final door. I twisted the handle, locked. Stepping back I kicked open the door. Marr. Tied up, bloody and bruised but alive. Relief poured through me and rage twisted my gut.

  I heard the rush of footsteps below—the other guys had arrived. I backtracked to the staircase. “Up here,” I yelled. Boots sounded in loud thuds running up the stairs as I returned to Marr.

  “Hey, baby.” I leaned down and kissed the unbruised side of her face. Viper ran into the room, took one look at her before he cursed. However, he dropped to her feet and carefully unwound the rope from around her feet and broken leg.

  I took out my knife and sliced the ropes on her hands before handing it to Viper to finish her legs. “You look like shit, goddess. We’ll get you to the hospital soon.”

  Her eyes closed then blinked open. “He took a bat to my leg after I escaped.”

  The fucker was dead, no one could hurt him enough to repay him for the pain he’d caused my woman. Rock and Bear joined us in the small room. “Let’s grab the cover and carry her down to the truck, one at each corner.” I glanced down to my woman. “Might hurt as we take you down the steps.”

  “Give me a second.” She sucked in a breath and nodded.

  We all lifted. By the time we’d secured Marr into the backseat it was nearing nine.

  “Take her to the hospital,” I told Viper. “I’ll follow as soon as I can.”

  I tried hard not to think about the pain Marr would suffer in the backseat of my king cab. We’d made a rope barrier to keep her in place, but every bump would be murder.

  “You guys don’t need to stay, I’m going to kill that bastard with my bare hands.” I met the gaze of my brothers—Rebel, Rock and Bear. “Did you let the others know we found her?”

  “They’re heading home.”

  A bike drove up and I turned, gun at my side. Thorn parked and joined us. “What’s the play?”

  “Rip him apart with my fucking bare hands.”

  “I’d like a few hits.” Rock stepped up. “He fucked up my woman’s life, too.”

  “You can soften him up.” I slapped my brother’s back. “You and Dare disarm him and bring him out back.”

  “What about the other two?”

  “Tied up and unconscious,” Rebel said. “Are we putting them down too?”

  “Nah, take a bat to their knees and drop them away from here.” I walked to the back of the house, rage pumping through my body. Her fucking leg had been three times its normal size. I’d done this to her, and she had no reason to forgive me. None.

  Dare pushed open the back door and kicked Renegade down the back steps. He landed in the hard dirt.

  “You fucking bastard.” I spit on him. “Rock.” I turned away and walked toward the barn. The sound of fist to flesh didn’t make me feel one damn bit better. I’d failed MJ, Layla and now Marr. And what had all three of those failures had in common—Renegade. I turned back to my brothers ready to finish this once and for all.

  As I approached where Dare, Rebel, Thorn and Bear watched Rock, I noted Rebel still held the bat. I needed that bat. It was the weapon that had first set me free and it would free me one more time.

  I jerked the bat from Rebel’s hand. “Rock.”

  The big man turned to me sweat on his brow. He stepped back.

  Ren lay bloody on the dirt. “You going to stand for this?�
�

  Blood ran down his face from his nose and a cut on his chin. “Let’s go, boy.” He stood and spat blood.

  I swung the bat into his middle and he crumpled to the ground, but I crashed the bat down on his head, blow after blow, breaking every fucking bone he had. For Marr. For Layla. For me.

  “Jericho.” Bear’s voice penetrated my haze. “He’s dead. Now you’re just making cleanup harder.”

  Something about the practical words made me laugh. I threw the bat to the ground next to him. “You boys clean up this mess, yeah.”

  “Got it, Prez.” Thorn’s hand fell on my shoulder. “Better clean up before you go to your woman.”

  Fuck. I needed to get to Marr. I raced up the stairs and inside to clean up. I rinsed off my face. Bear’s reflection met me in the mirror. “Take this shirt, yours has brains on it.”

  I peeled it off and threw it to Bear. We wouldn’t be leaving anything behind that connected us to this place.

  “Ren said he blackmailed Romeo to his side, he’s been skimming profits on the business.” Bear rubbed the back of his neck.

  I hung my head. “No one is who I think they are.” But that wasn’t true. “At least now I know who I can trust, and they’re all here with me.” I tugged on my shirt and turned to face him. “Thanks for having my back.” I drew him in for a hug. “Now I gotta go fix shit with my woman.”

  “Good luck,” he called behind me.

  We both knew I’d need it. Marr had every reason to hate me and no reason to forgive me.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Marr

  Pain clawed at me, waking me from sleep. I blinked my eyes closed from the harsh overhead lights. Where was I and what happened? My body ached, my face on fire, and my leg hurt so bad I wish someone had cut it off.

  “Marr, goddess, you awake?” Jericho called to me.

  I fought through the hazy muddle of my mind up through the pain. It hurt so damn bad. I barely opened my eyes this time and the brightness hurt but not so bad. “Jericho.” Was that raspy voice mine?

  “I’m glad you’re awake.” He leaned over me and his wild hair hung inches from my face. “I was worried. You have been out an entire day since your surgery.” His hand squeezed mine.

  “Surgery?”

  “For your leg, they had to put a metal pin in to stabilize your bone.”

  No wonder I couldn’t move my legs. “Drink.”

  A straw was at my lips in seconds. I swallowed down cold water. It tasted wonderful. I sipped some more. “What happened?”

  He frowned. “I’m so fucking sorry. Ren kidnapped you, do you remember?”

  It came flooding back. Capturing me, my escape, the sickening pain when he cracked the bat against my leg. Jericho saving me. Tears ran down my cheek. “You saved me.”

  “I was the one that got you kidnapped.” He backed away, still holding my hand.

  I drifted back to sleep.

  When I woke again it was dark in my room. “Jericho.”

  “I’m here.” A lamp flicked on then he was above me again. “How do you feel?”

  “Tired,” I admitted. My eyes were so heavy.

  “You need to rest and heal. The doc says sleep is the best thing for you and they’re giving you all the good drugs to help you sleep.”

  “Renegade?” I asked.

  “Gone.”

  “Gone where?” But I fell back to sleep before I got an answer.

  * * *

  Three days of hospital life was too much, but the doctor said at least one more day before he’d release me. My leg had been badly broken and he’d wanted me to stay immobile to avoid clots or other complications. He said if I worked the crutches today, I’d be able to go home tomorrow. Home. I wasn’t sure where that was. Jericho was eaten up with guilt but that didn’t change the way we’d parted before Renegade grabbed me. He insisted I stay with him, but I’d called Dogg and Janie to see if I could stay there, not willing to burden Jericho.

  Today was the first day I got to eat real food, if dry baked chicken and bland mashed potatoes counted as real food, but it was better than broth, soup and Jell-O. The door opened and the nurse came in. She checked the machines, took my blood pressure and carried out the tray of food when she left.

  It’d been a quiet day, the first I’d woken up without Jericho. I missed him but was happy he wasn’t here. He took up all the air in the room, leaving me anxious and out of sorts half of the time.

  I’m a terrible patient. Grumpy. Impatient. Prone to snap at everyone.

  The door to the room swung wide and Avery barreled through with a huge bunch of flowers. Lila walked in right after her.

  “You look better today.” She placed the flowers on the table across the room from me.

  “You were here before?” I didn’t remember visitors.

  “Yup, but you were out of it, totally zonked.” She made snoring noises. “Your face looks better, a lot less swelling and a truly horrific shade of green.”

  “Thanks.” I rolled my eyes and that hurt. My left eye was sore.

  “What I want to know is what you did to piss off Jericho?”

  I frowned. “I didn’t.”

  “He was yelling a lot this morning and your name came up a bunch, but we weren’t brave enough to get close.”

  Shit. I bet Dogg called him. “I asked Dogg to stay with him.”

  “You did what?” Lila frowned down at me.

  I told her about our fight and how I wasn’t about to be his invalid when he could barely stand me before.

  “Yeah, that’s what made him yell, I’m thinking.” Avery scrunched up her nose. “You know that you could’ve talked to him first.”

  “He’d just deny it because he feels guilty,” I snapped. “He made his true feelings more than clear before.”

  “Do you think you’ll get your way?” Lila laughed. “The man is a force of nature. I’m not seeing him cave.”

  I huffed. “It lets him off the hook.”

  The door slammed open and Jericho whipped in ready for battle by the look on his face. He scowled at Avery and Lila.

  “Our cue to go.” Lila grinned at me.

  Avery mouthed, “You’re in trouble.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at the idiot who’d stormed into my room.

  “Why the hell you call Dogg?” he boomed with his big voice.

  “Because I didn’t want to bother you! I’m not forgetful. I remember you have more important shit to do than cater to me.”

  “You’re coming home with me. I’m taking care of you. End of discussion.” He growled.

  “No. Dogg said he’d come no matter what you said. I’m done with pretend and you made your feelings all too clear.”

  He dropped his head and his fists clenched and unclenched. If I was smart, I’d be scared, but Jericho would never hurt me. Make me go deaf, maybe, but never hurt me.

  “Stop the caveman routine and drop the guilt. Shit got real, you set it right. It doesn’t change anything else.”

  “You’re funny.” He shook his head and looked away. “I fucking don’t care what you want. I can’t sleep unless I know you’re by me. Safe by me.”

  “I can be safe anywhere, but I won’t be used and discarded again,” I shot back. “You said he’s gone. I took it to mean unable to come back.”

  He gave a slight nod. “Doesn’t mean I’m letting you out of my sight, woman. And I never discarded you. I wanted you safe.”

  I barked out a laugh. “That didn’t happen.”

  “Exactly. So you can get that stubborn look off your pretty face, girl. I’m not arguing with you. You will come home where you belong.”

  Home. Those words tugged at my heart and reminded me why I couldn’t ret
urn. Fuck it. I was done hiding and this was the way I knew he’d let me go. He’d be too fucking busy running away to chase after me.

  “I can’t go to the clubhouse with you.” I spoke slowly.

  “Why?” He raised that one imperious eyebrow.

  “Because I love you, you jackass.”

  A slow smile transformed him from handsome to sexy. That wasn’t the reaction I expected. He wasn’t running, not even backing up.

  “I love you too.” He bent low and kissed the unbruised side of my face.

  What the hell just happened? Did he say he loved me? My heart must’ve heard him right because sparks of joy shot through my chest, creating a warm glow in the middle of me. That ball of joy grew and grew until I couldn’t contain it inside me.

  I caressed his cheek and met his wild eyes. “You what?” I could barely breathe for the adrenaline and joy bursting inside me.

  “I love you, Maurine O’Leary, so you’re stuck with me.” He kissed my forehead before peppering kisses down my neck.

  He stood upright and stared down at me. His eyes full of the same happiness I felt.

  * * *

  “Not so fast, when did you decide you love me? This isn’t guilt-love?” I was afraid he’d change on me again.

  “What the fuck is guilt-love? I loved you, I’m not sure when but definitely when you had the whip ready for me after the vote... I loved you then and I love you now.”

  My lips parted and I was freaking speechless. He’d loved me that long. Why had he gone all crazy on me then? It made no sense.

  “I don’t believe you. You all but kicked me out of your life the next fucking week.”

  “I was in denial.” He gave me his cocky grin.

  “No way, you fucked with my head. You want me with you, I want to know why, what happened and what changed.”

  “Dammit, woman. My love should be enough.”

  It would be if I trusted it. “I’m in denial,” I quipped.

  He laughed his real laugh and the tickle of butterflies dancing in my stomach warmed me.