Deny: A Dark, Erotic Motorcycle Club Romance

by Jade Chandler

  Exhausted, I prepared for bed, but when I climbed into his big bed alone, my mind wouldn’t stop churning. Had I done something wrong? Or did he get what he needed from me? Maybe this Jericho was the real one, and he’d played me before that. I had a crap track record with men.

  A muffled curse woke me the next morning. I propped myself on my elbows and watched him try and find keys. The ass was really trying to escape me again.

  “Whatchya doing?” I called out.

  He startled and turned to me. “Where the fuck are my keys? And boots?” A storm brewed in the lines of his forehead.

  “I have them. We need to talk.” I stretched and got out of bed.

  His eyes went to his T-shirt I’d worn to bed last night. Heat flared and then died before he looked away.

  “I got no time for talking, got shit to do.”

  “Too bad.” I fisted hands on hips. “Did I do something or are you naturally a douche?”

  He bristled and turned to me. “What the fuck?”

  “You. One day I can’t get two feet from you before you are hauling my ass back to you, and now you can’t be bothered to tell me where you are?”

  “I thought you’d be a fucking grown-up about this shit. I have a club to rebuild, shit to do and no time to coddle you, woman.” He slammed the kitchen cabinet he’d just searched. “Give me my fucking keys.”

  His harsh tone pissed me off. I stalked to him. “So you used me to solidify shit and now have no use for me?”

  He grinned. “I have a use for you but as sweet as your cunt is, it’s not my only concern.”

  Those words sliced deep and I bit back the tears that pricked my eyes. Why did all men treat me like this? Want me one minute and discard me the next. This was the second time the damned son of a bitch had played with my head. I was beyond done with that. He could go fuck himself. I was out of here.

  I stormed to my bag and dug out the keys, and threw them. The keys hit the opposite wall with a satisfying bang. I discarded his shirt and found clothes. I didn’t need to be around the bastard, and I had no idea how he could have played me so completely. I’d never learn when it came to men, none of them were worth a goddamn.

  I hurried into clothes and zipped my bag closed, stopping to slip on flip-flops before I headed to the door.

  “Where the fuck are my boots?” he called after me.

  I slammed the door shut and booked it to my Mini. The bastard had some nerve talking to me like I was some hysterical bitch.

  You’ll never learn, bitch.

  I wiped at the tear trying to escape. He didn’t deserve tears nor did he deserve me. I drove on autopilot as I replayed the past few days trying to find the spot where I should’ve seen through his act, but he’d been convincing. I had no idea what sign I’d missed that none of this was real, or maybe I’d just been out played by a master manipulator. I don’t suppose it mattered where things had gone wrong because I wouldn’t have changed a thing I’d done, even now. He sucked as a man but he wasn’t a bad president and his rule was good for the club.

  I was thankful for one thing, I hadn’t told him how I felt. I could have loved him, maybe I’d started to love the wild man who fucked like he fought, but it died a harsh death under his demeaning stare.

  I pulled into the club ready to burn off some steam. I bypassed the main level and headed straight to my rooms. I scheduled time with my apprentices for tonight and caught up on correspondence before I headed home for a shower and nap before my evening sessions. I needed to find some fucking perspective about Jericho and the club. I almost hit Avery’s number but hesitated. Pride. I didn’t want to admit the whole sad situation to anyone let alone a woman with a man who adored her. I’d never signed on for that, but I did expect respect, decency and monogamy—a far cry from love.

  My feelings were my problem, but the disrespect was his problem. One he’d have to resolve before he tasted me again. But after I misread him so badly, I feared that he’d just go back to the bimbos who’d filled his bed before. Not like there was anything I could do about it, and if I tried, I’d only look desperate. No, I had no choice but to stay away. He’d have to come for me, not that I held much hope for that.

  I locked my dungeon and snuck out the back without encountering Viper or any of the other Masters. I wasn’t in the mood for questions or clever quips. Short of beating the shit out of someone, I needed a hot bath and some chocolate, then maybe I’d feel a little calmer. I drove the five miles to my house while I obsessed about Jericho. No matter how many times I swore not to think about him again, my mind always returned to his sneering words and total dismissal. I’d been such an idiot.

  I parked in my driveway and hit the trunk release before I got out. I grabbed the strap of my bag when I heard footsteps. I looked to the side and saw Vex, I hefted the bag to swing it at him but it caught on the trunk.

  “Not this time, bitch.” Renegade’s cold words registered a second before pain cracked through my head and everything went dark.

  I woke up in a strange bed, my head pounded and my arms were secured above me. I bent my head back to see my arms. Waves of pain threatened my new consciousness, but I bit my cheek and waited for the sensation to pass. Someone had screwed up when they’d tied me up, thankfully. I wiggled my hands, trying to loosen the wrapping, millimeter by millimeter the ropes loosened and I could wiggle my hands a bit more. After what felt like hours of work, I freed my left hand, popping my dislocated thumb back into place with my right hand. I made quick work of freeing my remaining hand. I snuck over to the window and looked down, less than a ten-foot drop, a jumpable distance. I opened the window and pushed out the screen, catching it before it fell to the ground below. When I couldn’t wrestle it inside the room, I carefully let it fall. I listened for a long moment but heard no reaction.

  I scooted feet first through the window, wiggling my hips free of the sides and landed on the grass. I stayed still a second before I dashed into the woods at the side of the house. I ran away from the house through the woods and suddenly I ran straight into a gravel road. Fuck.

  The sound of a bike had me running for the cover of trees, but it was too late, I’d been seen. The bike slid in the gravel. Behind me I heard a crash and feet running behind me. Then arms grabbed me and jerked me down, tackling me to the ground. With a knee to my throat I looked up into Renegade’s cold eyes. This couldn’t be much worse. He pulled out his phone and called back up.

  “Stupid bitch. I’ll make sure you can’t run again.” His maniac smile creeped me out and for the first time I was afraid.

  This time Renegade tied up both my hands and feet, not making the same mistake with my hands. Two guys threw me into the back of a truck and I bumped up the drive to the old peeling white farmhouse. Nothing else was close by. The two thugs, I didn’t know, carried me upstairs. I heard Ren’s steps behind us and worried what he’d do this time. They threw me on the bed and hurried out of the room.

  He had a baseball bat in hand. Fuck.

  “I hope you like pain.” His eyes shone with excitement. He raised the bat over his head and cracked on my left leg, pain swamped me and spots colored my vision as I held back the bile threatening to come up. The bat came down again and I heard the crack of breaking bones as I screamed unable to hold back the sound.

  “Try to run now, bitch.” He grinned down at me. “You aren’t ruining my plan.” Slap. “You surprised me once.” Slap. “But never again.”

  “Fuck off.” I spat up at him, swallowing down the pain and bile that wanted to rise up.

  His fist smashed into my eye and the world went dark.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Jericho

  Why did I feel like shit when I’d achieved my goal? Marr was gone. I’d sent her away with my attitude and hateful words, just as I’d planned. Now I relived those words, saw t
he hurt flash on her face and the disgust when she fled. I’d deserved it all after I’d treated her like one of my casual fucks, sending her packing with my signature dismissal.

  All afternoon I’d sat here first listing all the reasons it was best she was gone. She was safer and I kept my oath. Not many reasons to stack up against my recriminations. She’d gone all-in helping me keep the presidency and I’d lied to her, treated her with disrespect, and sent her away.

  Nope, not a lot to be proud of today.

  Having the club and my rooms to myself was a hollow victory and now I missed her. But I didn’t follow my gut and go to her in Ardmore. We had to find separate lives, and an emotional distance so I didn’t fall in love with her, if it wasn’t already too late for that shit. But the least I could do was keep her safe from me.

  My phone rang and I swiped it to pick up Viper’s call. “Talk to me.”

  “Did Marr go back to the clubhouse?”

  Cold dread ran down my spine. “No, she isn’t there?”

  “Not here. She’s twenty minutes late for a session and not answering her phone.” Viper cursed. “I’ll go check her place, but she’s never late. Man I got a bad feeling about this.”

  “She’s just running late,” I said more to reassure myself. “Go see and call me back.”

  I hung up but couldn’t sit still. I paced the club room, wondering where the hell she went. I dialed Jo-Jo, the brother who’d been keeping an eye on Renegade. “Where is he?” I barked into the phone.

  “Fuck, boss, I lost him two hours ago, out in the country. I’m in front of his place in Ardmore waiting to pick him up again.”

  “Son of a bitch!” I threw a chair across the room. “Marr didn’t show at Bound and now Ren is gone. This is bad.”

  “I’m heading to—”

  “Viper’s calling.” I hit end and answered his call.

  “Marr’s not here, her trunk is open, car door open but house locked. I’d say someone snatched her.”

  “Fuck me. She was supposed to be safe there. Get back here. I need a war council.” I barked orders but deep down I was afraid it was too late.

  Renegade had taken her to teach me the lesson I never learned—never care about anyone. I hurt everyone I cared about, let alone loved. I was so damn clever sending her packing right into Ren’s waiting arms.

  I dialed up the rest of the Council, giving them the sparse details I had. Within a half hour everyone was here, including Jo-Jo and Whiskey—they’d been on Ren patrol the past two months.

  “Have you heard from Ren?” Bear pulled out a chair.

  “Why would I?” We’d just find her cut to shreds.

  Bear rolled his eyes. “He wants this club, not her blood.”

  Once everyone arrived we sat down and I had no idea what to say. “Marr’s gone, snatched from her place, looks like she never made it inside. That’s all I know.” Rage boiled my blood and I wanted to kill someone. “It’s Renegade. No one else would be that stupid.” I eyed each of my brothers. “He is a dead man walking. Anyone has a problem with that, there’s the fucking door.”

  No one moved. “What can you tell us?”

  “He’s spent most of his time at home, hours and hours at home, but like I told you without any eyes or ears inside we don’t know he didn’t sneak out the back and go who knows where. He only met with Vex a few times, the rest of it alone in that fucking house.” Jo-Jo cracked his knuckles.

  “He was too careful, he knew he was being watched whether he saw us or not,” Whiskey added. “But he’s not there now, I did the recon on his place before I came here. Not much of anything inside.”

  Worse news. I flexed my fists, wanting to hit something.

  “Why wasn’t she here?” Dare leaned forward.

  “She and I fought. She went home.” I hated to admit it. I’d sent her straight into Ren’s arms. Another woman I’d let down.

  “You went all asshole didn’t you?” Bear shook his head. “Good move.”

  What was there to say to that?

  “We know he has to have some place to take her so let’s get eyes and ears out riding the county and beyond, looking for signs of him. We need that bastard Vex or Romeo. Someone knows something.” I smacked the table.

  “I’ll hunt down Vex.” Bear stood. “The fucker worked for me a lot of the time, I got his haunts down.”

  “Rock and I will organize the ride, gather brothers, divide the county up, but that shit won’t be easy—be more luck than anything.” Dare stood and motioned Rock to join him. “I’ll set up in Marked Man for that shit.”

  “We’ll search Vex’s, Lefty’s and Fox’s rooms, and reach out to Romeo, but whatever the fuck he was about with that vote, he doesn’t hurt women.” Jo-Jo stared me down.

  “I’m with Jo-Jo.” Thorn grunted.

  “If you say so, thought I knew him, now I don’t.” It was the best I could say and a lot worse came to mind.

  “I’m on the criminal angle, maybe he hired his help again, like with Pixie’s shop.” Rebel stared at the other two ex-soldiers.

  “Good point. You need help with that?” I needed something to do.

  “No way, boss, you’re too fucking pissed. You’ll scare them away before I can convince them to talk.” He stood up. “I’m out. I’ll call you when I have a lead.”

  Viper stared at me and I stared at him. “What?”

  “Someone needs to keep you sane, and that’s me, seeing how your boys high-tailed it away, I figure it’s going to suck.” He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. “You wanna tell me what you fought about?”

  “She was too close.” I blew out a breath. “I thought it’d be safer away from me.”

  His cold laugh didn’t help shit. “How’s that working out?”

  My phone buzzed, a text from Marr. A picture of her with The Oklahoman thrown on top of her. She was bound to a bed, face swollen, leg bloody. Under the picture the text read, you for her. My phone rang. I swiped the screen. Marr’s phone number. “Boy, you pissed me off,” Renegade greeted me. I put the call on speaker for Viper.

  “And you pissed me off,” I returned.

  “You in exchange for this bitch. If I can’t have that fucking club neither can you.” He spit out the words. “Tomorrow nine in the morning at the Ridgeland Church on Ridgeland Road. You and one other, better bring a truck since that bitch won’t be fit for a bike.”

  “You fucking bastard. Hurting women gets you off, we’ll see what happens tomorrow,” I threatened.

  He laughed at me. “Nothing gonna happen or I’ll put a bullet in your old lady. Or you gonna let a second one die?”

  “See you tomorrow,” I ground out.

  The phone went dead.

  “He won’t let her live.” Viper said what I was thinking.

  “Then we’ll need to scope out the place and come up with a new idea,” I told him. “You drive my truck. I’ve got calls to make.”

  On the way out to Ridgeland I touched base with all the groups but no one had anything new to report. Rock said he’d reconfigure routes so they radiated out from the church. But even if we passed the hideout how the fuck would anyone know? We weren’t the police, and we couldn’t go door to door demanding to search each fucking house. No, I had a feeling we’d end up at the church in a showdown. I just had to outmaneuver him there. But the fucker had outmaneuvered me at every goddamn place except the roll call and that was because of inside knowledge. I needed some of that shit now.

  The church was the worst place ever for an ambush, flat land all around, the crops were high and maybe we could work with that, but no way to ambush from the road. Hell I could see more than a mile away.

  “Advantages are all his.” Viper stood in the parking lot. “Let me see that picture again.”

  I pu
lled out my phone and handed it to him. He zoomed in and stared at something.

  “I think her leg is broken, it’s swollen as fuck.” He handed back my phone. “So she’s not going to be mobile.”

  I’d already noticed that and the bruising on her left side, she wouldn’t be able to see out of that eye if she was even conscious. I didn’t think she was in that picture. On the way back, I called Jo-Jo, he hadn’t found Romeo. He said Vex’s place was empty as were the others. Still nothing to give us the upper hand.

  I asked him to get three to four guys in position by three this morning. I stopped at the shop but no one had seen a single thing from all the miles they had ridden. I told Dare to pack it in. Renegade wasn’t stupid enough to make it obvious and there was no way Marr could escape in her condition.

  I left Viper at Marked Man and returned to the clubhouse with nothing else to do. I walked to the bar and stared at the liquor lining the shelves. I couldn’t touch it because I’d need every advantage possible. With nothing to quiet the accusations in my mind, I’d be insane by morning.

  I sat in the dark and relived every way I could have made this different, better. It all came back to one choice—the choice to push her away. If I were a man, not some fucking child trapped in my own fear of the past, I’d have told her I loved her. Claimed her. Been the kind of man she deserved.

  What was I? Less than nothing. In denying my love for her, I’d put her in real danger. Even if I lived past the morning, I didn’t deserve a second chance, but I’d take it. Tell her I loved her and beg her forgiveness. Life was too fucking short. I swore if I got another chance I’d do it differently.

  The door opened and brought me out of my thoughts. Dare strode in, a bag with him. “Jo-Jo’s boys are set in the fields. There’s weapons and comm in the bag. The watchers won’t talk back but they can hear us.” He sat down and gave the bar a longing look. “How you doing?”