Living a Lie

by Cox, Josephine

  Thrilled at Kitty’s change of mood, Mildred laughed.

  “You should know what she’s like by now. I expect she’s playing her usual little tricks…wanting to keep you waiting and then surprise you at the last minute.”

  Kitty agreed.

  “You’re right. That’s exactly what she would do.” But now she would see her! Georgie was coming to the wedding after all!

  Oh, she couldn’t wait to talk with her, to catch up on everything, to see for herself that Georgie had come to no harm.

  There were tears of joy in her eyes as she told Mildred, “I was so worried about her. After she moved from Weymouth to Liverpool, she kept shifting about, going from one address to another. Honest to God, I was at my wit’s end.”

  “Well, you can stop worrying now.” Taking off her spectacles, Mildred gathered the replies and took them to the bureau.

  “We’ll have to check the seating plan,” she said thoughtfully, tapping a pen against her teeth.

  “And don’t forget you’ve got another fitting for your dress.”

  She would have gone on, but Kitty lured her into the kitchen with the promise of a slice of fruit cake and a mug of tea.

  For the next half-hour they sat round the kitchen table, talking mainly about Kitty’s new home.

  “Do you think you’ll be happy there?”

  Mildred wanted to know.

  “It’s fairly spacious,” Kitty replied.

  “With two bedrooms…useful in case Georgie comes to stay. It overlooks the embankment and it’s closer to work. On a nice day I can walk to the boatyard, or even in winter if the buses aren’t running.”

  Mildred recognised the ploy.

  “I already know all that,” she chided.

  “What I asked was, will you be happy there?”

  “I don’t see why not.” But she did see why not. She saw she would be alone again. She saw Harry would be miles away, with Susan and their child. As for Georgie, well, even at the best of times Kitty had little idea of where that will o’ the wisp might be. Would she be happy? Mildred had asked. Well, all she could do was try, and try she would. Even though her move from this house seemed to be a step back.

  A step back to another time, when she saw little reason for getting up in the morning.

  For the rest of the evening they chatted and laughed, and Kitty suppressed the ache inside. She was glad for Mildred, glad that she had found a man to love, a man who loved her too. And Georgie was coming to the wedding! Georgie! The idea that she and her friend would soon be together again was like a ray of sunshine reaching into a dark place.

  For the next few days life was hectic. Jack gave Kitty time off to help her aunt, and Mildred left work two days earlier than planned.

  There were numerous trips to the dressmaker’s, and even more to the many shoe shops in Bedford and Cambridge, where Mildred and Kitty searched far and wide for a pair of shoes that would slide painlessly over Mildred’s bunion.

  “If I have to stand in that register office for any length of time, and then stomp about afterwards at the reception, I don’t want to be in agony,” She moaned.

  “I expect I’ll have to dance as well, and there’s nothing worse than aching feet when you’re being swung round the floor.”

  That tickled Kitty.

  “You’re expecting a lot if you expect Eddie to ‘swing’ you round the floor!” she remarked cheekily.

  “There’s nothing wrong with a girl living in hope!” Mildred retorted with a wink. When she bent down to fasten her bootlace, the button on her skirt popped off and went spinning across the room.

  “Too many cakes!” Mildred said indignantly, and the pair of them creased up laughing.

  The list of things to do seemed endless. There were flowers to arrange, clothes to be got ready, the honeymoon details to be gone over, and so much more that Mildred was afraid they would never be ready on time. On top of that, there were numerous visits to the solicitor who was dealing with the house sale.

  “The buyers seem to think they can move in on the day we get married!” Mildred complained. “When they know very well the completion date is for the Monday after. I can’t have them moving their stuff in here when you’re trying to move yours out. Besides, you’ll need to spend the Sunday here, so you can get the flat properly organised before you move in.”

  After a particularly harrowing visit to the baker, who had mistakenly sold her cake but promised to have another ready on time, she threw herself into a chair and seemed close to tears.

  “Calm down,” Kitty told her. “If he says he’ll have your cake ready, I’m sure he will. Mr. Jackson has his reputation to think of, and you know how highly he values that. Everything will come out right in the end, you’ll see.”

  Mildred wasn’t so sure, but Kitty was right. Come Friday evening, all was in order. Kitty took her out for a drink in the local pub, and they chatted until they were thrown out at closing time.

  “I feel a bit merry,” Mildred giggled on the way home.

  “Shame on you,” Kitty said.

  “I don’t reckon Eddie knows what he’s letting himself in for!”

  The rain started when they were halfway home, falling out of the skies as if God was emptying his bath. By the time they ran up the drive, they were like a pair of drowned rats.

  “Where’s the key?” Kitty hunched her shoulders while the rain pelted from the guttering and ran down her neck.

  “I thought you had it!” Mildred giggled. She fell up the steps and lay flat on her back.

  “I’m pissed as a post!” she said, struggling to get up.

  Feeling light-headed and happy from the wine, Kitty fumbled in Mildred’s pockets. When that didn’t produce the key, she searched her own. The key was nowhere to be found.

  “It’s no good,” she decided in a fit of giggles, “I’ll have to get a ladder from the shed and try the bedroom window.”

  “That’s no good,” Mildred told her.

  “The shed’s locked and the key’s inside the house.”

  “I reckon I’ll have to go to the police station then,” Kitty suggested. Sitting on the step beside her drunken aunt, who was still flat out on her back, she couldn’t help but giggle.

  “Do you reckon we should ring the fire brigade?”

  “Do what you like, as long as you don’t ask that cow next-door for help!” Mildred chuckled.

  “She’d be like a dog with two balls if she knew we were locked out.”

  Kitty stared at her.

  “TAILS!” she corrected.

  “A dog with two tails…not a dog with two balls.”

  Mildred wasn’t altogether convinced.

  “He’d still have two balls though, wouldn’t he?” she declared indignantly.

  “I mean…he wouldn’t be a dog if he didn’t have two balls, would he?”

  “You’re out of your mind,” Kitty said, stemming the tide of laughter rising up inside her.

  “Get up from there. Come on.” Sliding her arms under Mildred’s prostrate body, she tried unsuccessfully to sit her up.

  “Get up, or you’ll catch your death of cold!” she demanded.

  When Mildred appeared to be trying to help herself, Kitty gave an extra hard tug. Mildred jerked backwards, Kitty fell on top of her, and they both tumbled sideways. Something gave way beneath them and Kitty couldn’t believe her eyes.

  “It’s open!” she cried.

  “The front door’s open!”

  “Well, I’m buggered!” Mildred shrieked, grabbing hold of Kitty. Soaked to the skin and balancing on her knees, Kitty couldn’t hold her weight. The pair of them fell in a heap on the mat, and laughed until they cried.

  “We’re supposed to be ladies!” Kitty announced between bouts of laughter.

  “I can hear Jack now…” Mimicking his voice she said, “Really, Kitty! This is no way for a lady to behave!”

  The next-door neighbour didn’t think so either. Woken by the noise she was peeking out fr
om behind her net curtains, horrified to see two grown women rolling about, engulfed in fits of laughter. Flinging open the bedroom window, she yelled into the driving rain, “SHOWING YOUR KNICKERS! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!”

  Kitty was mortified. Somehow she managed to get her aunt inside and close the door. Even harder was the effort to get her up the stairs, stripped off, dried down, put into her nightgown, and then into bed.

  “I never knew you had it in you,” she chuckled as she tucked her in. Mildred, though, was sleeping like a light gone out.

  The next morning was agony.

  “Look at me!” Mildred wailed, staring in the kitchen mirror and putting out her mottled tongue.

  “How can I get married looking like this?”

  Taking her by the shoulders, Kitty led her back to the table.

  “Drink this,” she said, fetching a glass of liver salts.

  “And you’ll feel like fighting the world.”

  Sip by sip, Mildred gingerly downed the entire contents. Taking a moment to recover, she regarded Kitty with some degree of envy.

  “You look disgustingly healthy.”

  “I don’t feel it,” Kitty confessed. In fact she felt as if she’d been put through the mincer.

  After several cups of tea, they began to come alive.

  “I’m going for a shower,” Kitty said.

  “Then we’d best get you looking something like a bride.”

  Upstairs she sat by the window, gathering her thoughts.

  “A wedding for Mildred…a baby for Harry.” She smiled wistfully.

  “Congratulations, Harry,” she murmured, “I hope you get the son you want.”

  Just for the briefest moment her brown eyes grew bright with the threat of tears.

  “Come on. Kitty!” she chided.

  “This is not a day for tears.” Then she collected her toiletries and hurried to the bathroom.

  This was Mildred’s day, and nothing must be allowed to spoil it.

  Downstairs, Mildred collected the post. There were three congratulations cards, from people she had forgotten to ask; a red electricity bill which had already been paid; two circulars; and a long grubby brown envelope with what looked like tea stains on the top left hand corner. The postmark showed that it had been posted in Liverpool.

  “It’s from Georgie!”

  Impatiently tapping her fingers on the kitchen table, Mildred debated as to whether she should show the letter to Kitty.

  “I wouldn’t be at all surprised if that little minx isn’t coming after all,” she muttered.

  “And Kitty will be so disappointed.”

  Getting up from her chair she paced the room, occasionally glancing at the grubby brown envelope and tut ting with disgust.

  “It would be just like her to change her mind at the last minute! That one doesn’t give a damn about Kitty, or she wouldn’t keep turning her life upside down.” With every word her own guilt lay heavy on her mind.

  “Well, you can wait until after the wedding!” she decided, dropping the letter into the dresser drawer.

  “I won’t let you spoil Kitty’s day, or mine!”

  That done she threw the red bill and circulars into the pedal-bin, and took the congratulations cards to the lounge where she propped them up on the mantelpiece. Coming back to the kitchen, she paused to glance into the hall mirror.

  “Buck up, Mildred,” she told her dishevelled image.

  “It’s your wedding day.”

  The next few hours were frantic. When at last they saw the car arrive, it was one last look in the mirror and an undignified rush down the path.

  “I’m already late,” Mildred complained.

  “Bride’s privilege,” Kitty said. The bemused driver smiled at her in the mirror, thinking if he was thirty years younger she wouldn’t get out of this car without promising him a date.

  The wedding went smoothly. Mildred looked wonderful in her pink two-piece and little feathered hat. Her feet were comfortable too, in a pair of easy-fitting beige shoes with a neat little heel and fancy braiding round the edge.

  Kitty looked stunning in a calf-length cream dress with sweetheart neckline and long tapered sleeves. Her dark hair was swept up and tied with a pink ribbon to match Mildred’s suit and she carried a smaller version of the bride’s bouquet a simple triangle of rose buds with a whisper of green fern.

  The reception was held at a nearby conference centre, and everyone had an enjoyable time.

  “I still haven’t seen Georgie,” Kitty told Mildred, taking her aside.

  “Don’t worry,” her aunt urged.

  “If she’s coming by train, it’s possible they’re running late, and if she’s travelling by car, she could well have got caught up in traffic. She’ll be here.” Relieved when she saw Jack coming towards them, she gently chided, “He’s looking for you. Have you been neglecting him again?”

  As Kitty turned. Jack planted a kiss on her mouth.

  “You look wonderful, darling,” he cooed.

  “Star of the show.”

  “Mildred’s the star of the show,” she reminded him. Jack had the most amazing talent for saying the wrong thing.

  “Point taken,” he acknowledged, walking with her to the buffet table.

  “Have you been trying to avoid me?”

  “What makes you think that?” In fact she hadn’t.

  “Because every time I turn round you’re gone,” he answered peevishly.

  “I suppose you’re looking for himT Kitty swung round.

  “Looking for who?” Her brown eyes flashed angrily.

  She knew very well to whom he was referring.

  “What’s his name? Harry Jenkins? Your old sweetheart?” While he spoke his fists were clenched and there was a look of rage on his face.

  “You’re wrong,” she answered soberly. “I wasn’t looking for Harry. I thought I told you? His wife’s expecting a baby and not feeling too good. Otherwise they would have been here.”

  She had tried so hard not to think about Harry, and now Jack had raised the issue, tainting it with jealousy.

  “You don’t like him, do you?” she asked pointedly. “I sensed that from the first.”

  Jack’s quick smile covered his real feelings.

  “If you like him, then so do I,” he lied. In fact he had seen the chemistry between those two and ever since had been eaten with envy. If he got the chance he would gladly cut out the heart of Harry Jenkins.

  Kitty told him how she was concerned because Georgie had written to say she would be here.

  “And there’s no sign of her.”

  “Oh, I’m sure she’ll turn up,” Jack casually assured her.

  “Like a bad penny.” } Time fled by and still Georgie didn’t show. Now it was the hour for Mildred and her new husband to leave, and everyone was gathered outside in the thin spring sunshine, waving and laughing as the happy couple climbed into Eddie’s newly acquired Ford Capri.

  “Good luck!” Kitty yelled as they pulled away.

  “Have a wonderful honeymoon.”

  “I mean to!” Mildred called back. Then she threw her bouquet out of the window, straight into Kitty’s arms.

  “I think she’s trying to tell us something,” Jack whispered, sliding his arm round her. And Kitty had the most awful feeling he could be right.

  As he drove her back to the house, Jack had an idea.

  “Why don’t we call at the flat? I’ve got time on my hands, and I can see to those little jobs you wanted done. What was it now? Curtain poles to be fitted, and that new work top in the kitchen? It shouldn’t take more than an hour.”

  “It might be a good idea,” Kitty agreed.

  “If I wasn’t wearing this lovely dress, and you weren’t wearing a suit that must have cost the earth.” His suit was a new one, grey silk with straight-cut trousers and a narrow jacket. As always, he cut a dashing figure.

  Keeping his eyes glued to the road, he reached behind him to retrieve a pile of clothes from
the seat.

  “Two sets of overalls,” he said with a little grin.

  “One your size, one mine.”

  Kitty laughed at his cheek.

  “Sorry. It’s a good idea, Jack, but the key to the flat is back at the house.”

  “You underestimate me.” Dipping into his top pocket, he produced the key.

  “Mildred gave it to me. She’s worried you won’t get the flat finished in time for when the furniture removers arrive at the house.”

  Leaning back in the plush leather seat, Kitty shook her head.

  “You’re a pair of conspirators,” she said, smiling in defeat.

  The flat was in a delightful spot. Overlooking Bedford river, it had a panoramic view of the whole embankment. But it was a cold unwelcoming place, with two poky bedrooms, a bathroom you could hardly turn round in, and a lounge so small that Kitty wondered if she would get two chairs in, never mind a settee as well. The kitchen was long and narrow, and smelled of damp.

  “You don’t have to live here,” Jack reminded her.

  “All you have to do is say the word and we’ll redecorate my house exactly as you want it.”

  Kitty was astonished to find herself actually thinking about the prospect.

  “Thank you all the same,” she decided.

  “But I’ll manage.”

  The disgruntled expression on his face made her smile.

  She opened the door of the flat and the rank odour rose to greet them.

  “How can you live here with that awful damp air creeping everywhere?”

  Jack had no intention of giving up.

  “Don’t worry about it.” Throwing her overalls into the bedroom, Kitty wagged a finger at him.

  “You can change in the sitting room.”

  “I mean it. Kitty. Why don’t you take time to look for a better place?”

  “Where do I stay in the meantime?”

  “With me of course.”

  “I thought so.” Shaking her head, she told him, “Anyway, there aren’t all that many flats for rent in Bedford. I searched far and wide for this one, and well you know it.” When it seemed he might try again, she gave him her sweetest look.

  “Will you stop worrying? By the time I’ve finished with this place, it’ll be a cosy little home.”

  In her heart she knew it never could be. However hard you tried, there were some places you could never turn into a home. This miserable flat was one of those. But it was all Kitty could afford, so she was determined to do the best she could.