Keep Forever

by Alexa Kingaard

  “No, I promise. Tomorrow, just let me rest for today.”

  “Nope, we’re getting in the car, driving to the Village.” With that, she helped Paul from his chair. She knew he would accompany her, at least today.

  “One more thing before we go. I have to get my cane and duffel bag. It has all my stuff in it.”

  Elizabeth had given up that fight months earlier, knowing he would need his security bag wherever they went, even if it was a block away. “Fine, no problem. I’ll wait for you in the car.”

  Emerging thirty minutes later, Paul shuffled outside and joined Elizabeth, motioning to her that he was ready at last. “Maybe we’ll catch the sunset,” Paul said as he poured himself into the passenger seat. “That would be nice.”

  The short walk across the street from the parking lot was a strain for Paul. Elizabeth almost wished she hadn’t attempted what must seem to him a most impossible outing. But as soon as they reached a bench, overlooking the panoramic view, she was glad that she had insisted. The waves lapped the shore, and the melodic sound they made as they washed over the sand and rocks was mesmerizing.

  Holding hands and knowing they had made it as far as they could, they sat and felt the sinking sun wrap its warmth around them. They talked in quiet tones as the sky transformed—from bright blue, to yellow, to pink. They watched in awe and felt another day melt away into another perfect sunset. Elizabeth laid her head on Paul’s shoulder. He stroked her hand. “Thank you, my beautiful Elizabeth. This was a good thing. We’ll do it again.”

  Chapter 37

  It had been two years, and Paul and Elizabeth maintained a regular exercise program, even if on some days it wasn’t more than a walk around the block. While she knew it didn’t mean a cure, it was nonetheless a positive step. Their newly active life was peppered with get-togethers with old friends, occasional summer concerts in the park, and movies whenever possible. Rex and Julia, along with Lily and Michael, joined them for dinner almost every weekend at Elizabeth’s apartment.

  After settling themselves on the porch and looking forward to dessert, Rex asked for everyone’s attention. Attempting subtlety, and trying not to give anything away, Rex began, “Mom, Dad, I have something for you.” He dashed back to the car and returned with a large package wrapped in plain brown paper and set it down on the coffee table.

  “Here, for you guys,” as he motioned to the gift. “Go for it. I think you’ll love it.”

  Elizabeth was shocked and curious. It was unusual for either of the children to bring gifts unless it was her birthday, Mother’s Day, or Christmas. She approached the box with caution. “Please tell me there’s nothing alive in there.”

  “Maybe, well not quite yet, sort of. Go on, open it.” Rex was nervously tapping his feet and Julia was beaming, certain that a hint was emanating from her expression. Elizabeth thought she might know what was waiting for her and the rest of the family as she tore off the wrapping, exposing two stuffed bears. One was pink, the other blue, and each wore a T-shirt that read, We love Grandma and Grandpa.

  Elizabeth drew her hands to her mouth and stifled a squeal, her heart melting as she realized that she and Paul would be welcoming their first grandchild . . . or perhaps grandchildren. She wasn’t sure she understood the reason for two bears unless there were two babies, but she chose not to ruin the moment by asking such a silly question. She hugged Julia. “This is so unbelievable! Is this for real? When? I don’t know what to say.”

  Paul observed the scene and spoke up at last. “Well, all right.” Always a man of few words, he smiled and stood up tall to embrace his son and daughter-in-law, with Lily and Michael waiting off to the side to do the same.

  Lily feigned surprise, even though Julia had already broken her silence with her sister-in-law. Pretending to be totally shocked, she was acting like it was Christmas morning when she was five and could barely contain her delight. “When are you due? Should we expect twins?” Elizabeth silently thanked Lily for asking the question that she was too timid to ask.

  Julia smiled, “Late December, the twenty-fifth to be exact, but who knows—first babies are always late, right?”

  She took the bears and cradled one in each arm. Glancing from one to the other she sighed, “No twins. Pink if it’s a girl, blue if it’s a boy. We’ll have to wait and see.” The announcement brought an unexpected celebration that lasted through the evening. Exhausted by sunset, Paul and Elizabeth ushered their children out the door. Elizabeth couldn’t help but wonder how this event would change their lives as she cleared the table, and hoped tonight Paul would stay with her a bit longer. It was their time to relish together, and he appeared to be uplifted and energized with the news.

  By the time Elizabeth finished the dishes, she was worn out. A welcome surprise, yes, but she still worked forty hours a week, often with overtime hours. Plus she managed Paul’s constantly changing health issues and concerns. She worried that she might not have enough time to spend with the baby, and would miss out on the joy of being a grandparent.

  Paul had already settled into the couch, TV clicker in hand. “I know what you’re thinking. You think you’ll be left out of all the fun after the baby is born. I want you to have those moments, you’ll be a wonderful grandmother. I promise I’ll clean the house by myself, cook my own meals, make sure I have clean clothes every day. I’m tired of being your burden. I wish I were better at everything, like you.”

  Elizabeth smiled. She knew Paul might not be able to keep his promise, but he had a way of anchoring her heart, and even with his frailty and insecurities, made her feel safe. “That would be so helpful, Paul. But we have time to prepare. We’ll just keep taking the best care of ourselves we can. There’ll be a new plan that will evolve, I’m sure. For now, I want to imagine what it’ll be like to have this new little person to share our world.”

  She sat down on the couch beside Paul and reached for his hand. “You can stay the night if you want. If you fall asleep watching TV, that’s okay. I have to get some sleep or I’ll be a wreck tomorrow. Will you be all right?”

  Paul’s duffle bag sat next to the chair, filled with a week’s worth of clothes, magazines, medications, and anything else he felt might be an important item to take with him when visiting a block from home. He motioned to the bag and waved Elizabeth off to catch up on her much-needed rest.

  “Coffee in the morning?” asked Elizabeth. She didn’t wait for a response. “Sleep well.”

  The drone of the television didn’t bother Elizabeth, and sleep finally caught up with Paul, as late night TV slowly dissolved into the early morning news.

  Chapter 38

  Claire was a colicky baby and her three-month birthday couldn’t come soon enough, the age their pediatrician said she would most likely outgrow the condition. At this point, neither Julia nor Rex were enjoying any sleep, much less the rapture of having a new baby in their midst. Elizabeth helped when she could, mostly weekend mornings, so they could catch a few hours of much-needed rest. She never minded having to pace the living room for hours, waiting for little Claire to find a comfortable position to lessen the pain in her delicate little body. There were moments of relief, but never enough to quiet the household through the night. Elizabeth continued to try one trick after another to put the baby down for a measurable nap whenever she had the time to help.

  The sun was now a regular visitor, and the onset of an early spring brought morning light and warmth to the balcony of the couple’s new townhome. With the sun soaking through Elizabeth and the baby, it became a favorite spot and seemed to lull Claire into peaceful rest, at least for an hour or so. Elizabeth found this moment of pure joy intoxicating. It renewed her sense of purpose and she wondered how the simple pleasure of holding her brand-new granddaughter could bring her heart back to the first treasured moments where it all began. From the moment she and Paul recited their vows, they shared this journey together, and they were fortunate enough to see new life created in this next g
eneration. Claire stirred as Elizabeth reminisced, but settled as her grandmother moved the chair to capture the final rays of morning sun before it rose higher in the sky.

  True to his word, Paul started making his meals, and, with heroic effort, even managed to straighten the piles of paper strewn about the house. Old bills were neatly stacked in almost every corner, bundled in string or rubber bands with the words “Keep 4Ever” written on the top envelope of each batch. Never mind that the boxes meant to store the paperwork were still flat, and the packing tape and markers remained unopened in their original packaging. Knowing he might never get around to it was less important to Elizabeth than Paul’s effort and his delight in being a grandfather.

  Paul managed to find room in the disorderly kitchen to prepare dinner, and, even though he had done so many times, called Elizabeth every morning to ask, “How do you cook chicken?”

  She always gave the same response, “Heat the oven to three hundred and seventy-five degrees, put a little butter in one of the glass pans, not the old aluminum ones because they’ll stick. Once it melts, salt and pepper the chicken, add a few pats of butter and bake for about forty-five minutes. Simple, unless you want another recipe to try.”

  “Nope, that’s what I wanted to know. Does it matter if I defrosted it last night and forgot to put it back in the refrigerator?”

  “Yes, it matters! You need to either cook it or put it back in the fridge right after it defrosts. Has it been sitting out all night?”

  Elizabeth never knew for sure. Sometimes Paul wanted to get a rise out of her to bring her into his world, and still other times she would stop by after work and find the chicken long defrosted, sitting on a plate on the counter, with the oven preheated, and Paul dozing in the chair. The chicken question became a regular part of their daily banter. Whether Paul purposely forgot to put it in the oven, or was somehow unable to stay on this task or any other, took a back seat to the joy of Claire’s birth. Elizabeth kept reminding herself how these glimpses of happiness were her gift, and that watching this baby grow was the most important thing in their lives.

  )

  “Who could that be?” Annoyed that her much needed sleep had been interrupted, Julia groped for the phone that had somehow gotten tangled in the sheet and blanket. She had dozed off after a restless midnight feeding and it was still dark outside, barely morning. The muffled sound was all that was needed to jar her back to awareness. She mumbled to Rex, but there was no waking him this morning. He had spent as many sleepless shifts with Claire as she had and was dead to the world. Julia was glad Elizabeth was there to help, and it sounded like she had managed to quiet the baby for the moment.

  “Mmmmm . . . what . . . hello?” She didn’t sound like herself since sleep deprivation had become her constant companion. She heard Lily on the other line.

  “Is this a bad time?” Lily’s voice was pensive. She sensed she might be intruding on what little rest Julia had managed to capture in the last few months. Aware of Claire’s restlessness, she came over to help when she had time and wanted to be there for Julia and Rex, doting on her first niece, rocking, pacing, and trying like everyone else to soothe the child into a full night’s sleep.

  Julia swung her legs over the bed, careful not to disturb Rex, took her robe from the foot of the bed, and moved into the living room. She saw Elizabeth and Claire on the balcony, quiet for the moment, and gave a slight wave. Elizabeth nodded and Julia poured the last cup of coffee from the pot before settling into the sofa, continuing her conversation with Lily as she got comfortable.

  “No, it’s okay. It was another rough night with the baby, but your mom’s here and Rex is sleeping. What’s up?”

  “Can Mom hear you?”

  “No, she can see me, but not hear me. That’s an odd question. Are you okay?”

  “Well, yes, I’m okay, but please don’t show any emotion in front of her when you hear what I’m about to tell you. I wanted to talk to you first, and then I’ll talk to Mama and Daddy.”

  “Are you sick? Do you have cancer?” Julia was careful to turn her back to Elizabeth so she couldn’t see the perplexed expression on her face.

  “No, nothing like that. I’m pregnant. Michael and I found out last week, but the timing is so bad, with Claire keeping you awake all night, everyone so over the moon about your new baby. I didn’t want to ruin anything for you guys, and the most obvious reason is that Michael and I aren’t married, and I’m not sure how my parents will react.”

  Instantly wide awake, Julia felt a surge of excitement for her sister-in-law and what was about to be an added blessing to the family. She ducked her head quietly into the folds of her robe and, in a whispered voice, responded, “Of course, they’re going to be thrilled, don’t be silly! We’re in the twenty-first century, and I’m sure they have long since moved past the idea that a couple needs to be married to have a baby. I’m thrilled for you both! Is Michael happy? Are you happy? That’s the most important thing.”

  “I’m delirious. I never even thought of having children, and Michael and I have always been very careful not to get pregnant. We’ve never talked about starting a family, even after all these years together. But last night he proposed, so we’re getting married and having a baby! There’s just so much happening, I had to tell someone.”

  Standing, Julia was still talking with Lily as she joined Elizabeth on the balcony. “Lily,” she started.

  Elizabeth glanced up, “Oh, it’s my girl. What have you two been chatting about? Is she okay?”

  “Lily,” Julia began again. “I think this is fantastic news, and someone else is sitting here who should hear all about it.” She handed the phone to Elizabeth. Still cradling a sleeping, peaceful Claire, she carefully took it from Julia’s hand.

  “Hi, Lily. Is everything okay?”

  “Mama, I have something to tell you and I hope you and Daddy will be okay with it. Michael asked me to marry him.” She paused, waiting for her mother’s response.

  “Lily, that’s fantastic news! Did you think I wouldn’t be thrilled for you and Michael? Have you set a date?” She struggled not to jump up and down with happiness, only containing herself so she didn’t wake Claire.

  Hearing the tone in her mother’s voice, Lily found the next part easy. “Well, we decided to have a simple wedding—immediate family and friends—in two weeks. We want to be married and settled in a new place before the baby comes.” She tensed as she waited to hear what her mother was going to say next.

  “Oh, my Lily, if I didn’t have a sleeping baby on my lap right now, I would be shouting to the world how happy that makes me. I know your father will be thrilled, too, and you and Michael must stop by my apartment today if you have time. I think it would be more special if you and Michael told him together.”

  “We’ll be there, four o’clock. That’ll give you a few more hours with Rex, Julia, and the baby. Love you, Mama.”

  “I love you too, Lily.”

  )

  Paul made it down to Elizabeth’s, even though it took him twenty minutes to walk the one block to her apartment. The sunshine felt good on his bones as he lumbered past familiar houses, home to families for over fifty years, like Paul and Elizabeth’s. He had seen babies grow, go off to college, neighbors become grandparents. He felt good knowing he and Elizabeth were part of the grandparent generation, and that old friendships up and down the block remained a constant in his ever-changing world.

  Elizabeth shared that Lily and Michael were coming over, but couldn’t stay long. He also knew Elizabeth was making his favorite chicken dinner. He packed light. No sense in taking more than necessary in his duffel bag and it made the downhill walk a bit more pleasant with the more manageable load.

  Paul, slightly out of breath, dropped his bag right inside the front door. “You look jumpy. Is everything okay?”

  “Oh, more than okay.” Elizabeth found it hard to keep secrets as important as this one, but she wanted Lily to tell
her father herself. Elizabeth didn’t want to ruin the surprise before the couple arrived, so she changed the subject. “About to make a fresh pot of coffee.”

  “Good. I need some after that long walk.” Paul smiled at the ridiculousness of the idea, and Elizabeth couldn’t help chuckling. “Want to sit outside?” Paul set about arranging four chairs. He looked forward to the impromptu visit from his daughter and Michael.

  Lily and Michael arrived as the coffee finished brewing. They each planted a quick peck on Elizabeth’s cheek as they walked past her and joined Paul on the patio. Elizabeth brought out a plate of cookies she had picked up at the little French bakery on the way home from Rex and Julia’s, and set it down in the middle of the table, along with four of her best mugs, and the creamer and sugar bowl she only used for special occasions. As she poured the steaming coffee into a carafe, Paul began to suspect this might be more than afternoon coffee on the patio.

  “Wish it could have been fancier,” she said quietly to Lily, who bent over her father, giving him a big hug. She turned to her mother and squeezed her tightly before sitting down. Michael sat at her side, a subtle smile on his face.

  “Before I tell you why we dropped by, I need to say something. I want to tell you how much you mean to me and how lucky I have been to have the best mother and father in the world. Daddy, do you know how special it is to have a parent who simply loves his children, unconditionally, no questions asked? It never made any difference if Rex and I were moody, didn’t want to clean our rooms, do our homework, or broke curfew. You always listened and never yelled.” Lily’s impending good news prompted a flood of emotion and she felt a sudden surge of gratitude for her parents and their lifelong devotion to each of their children.