Eh? What did this mean? Allow himself to fall in love with me?
“I know this sounds stupid, even conceited maybe, but I didn’t want this love. I have been an idiot, I know, but I thought everyone would think that I’d just use a relationship with you to advance my career. For a while I almost hated you for being your Dad’s daughter. I am sorry, but you asked and I want you to know all. But when I heard how you helped your Mum and how you fought it out with your Dad, I didn’t try to negate my feelings for you any longer. In fact, the day Kamene told me about your rebellion against your father, I almost called you. But then I didn’t, because I felt that after all these months of trying to see you in a negative light despite my inner feelings, I sort of didn’t have the right to intrude in your life. Instead, I frantically started to work with your father, Phil and professor Papadopoulos. Trying to find out as much as I could about the Nemesis collective, their goals, their intentions, anything I could in order to protect you. Silly of me, you may think, but it seemed the right thing to do at the time.”
He paused, then continued with a small laugh.
“When Phil told me about his suspicions that you might be up to something, it really rocked me to the core! That I hadn’t planned for! And then, when we talked on 17th March, you seemed careful not to say too much! It was obvious that you were holding back something. This freaked me out! I hadn’t planned to reveal my love for you before we’d meet in person again. I wanted to see your face when I’d told you. For, sure as I was of my love for you, I had no idea whether you could share my feelings, or not. The mere thought that you might do something stupid and dangerous, that you might be harmed, it was unthinkable. I had to reach out and let you know that I cared a lot for you. And then you said words that indicated you cared about me, too! Ever since I have been in agony about your fate and at the same time elated and high that I have finally owned up to my innermost feelings and that you seemed to care, too. maybe love me, too. And now, after all those horrible days of not knowing where you were! Ah, Lia! I am so happy, right now! I know there are difficult times ahead, it will be difficult and dangerous trekking over to you, sure. But right now, here and now, I am just blissfully happy!” His voice was jubilant now and it almost made me cry. “You are my life now, Lia! Never forget!”
“I am amazed, Josh. No wait, let me say something, too. I am amazed. And frankly totally annoyed. Annoyed because of Dad’s influence over my life. I never wanted any of his favours and connections! I hate the idea that I lost friends, that there were people who didn’t want to be close to me because of my Dad and his connections! I am utterly and totally livid at this thought! But I am also totally happy that you saw past it, that you made the effort to see me, myself, even though you are way off track on some accounts, and found that you could love me!
You know, now that the world as we knew it is shattered, it suddenly doesn’t matter anymore what was before or how we once viewed things. Now, the way I see it, all that counts is that we live, truthfully and honestly, and honour our family and our feelings.”
“And therefore,” my voice rose, maybe I was going a bit overboard here, but I couldn’t help it. “I am no more afraid to tell you that I love you. Let the whole world hear it! I love you, Josh! I love you and I wish you were here!”
He was laughing now, a gentle, loving laughter, and I joined in happily.
We spent another twenty minutes talking about us, about sweet nonsense and also about the dangers ahead of us, mostly the journey awaiting Josh.
But he reassured me that he wouldn’t be alone. His best friends would be with him, Paul and Rob, plus Rob’s partner Winter. That they could all rely on each other implicitly and that they were sure they’d make the journey safe and sound.
Finally it was time to ring off and with many “I love you” we ended our conversation.
I sat there for a while, not quite ready to face the others. Not because I was embarrassed or anything, but because I wanted to savour the moment, that lingering feeling of bliss at the thought of this newly discovered, wonderful love.
So I sat there for a while just wondering at how quickly this had happened, how wonderful it all was, how complete and whole this new Lia felt.
Oh, of course, there would be other times, tougher times. But for now I was happy just remembering every word Josh had said; and the sound of his voice, the intensity of his feelings for me that he’d revealed. Repeating his treasured words in my mind, I felt butterflies take off inside me again. Never before had I felt anything like this, never this commitment, this certainty and this willingness to proclaim my love to the world. This went deeper than a mere teenage love. This was serious. I felt both like singing and somehow also like crying.
Stop being such a sissy! I scolded myself. Pull yourself together! We’ve got business to take care of.
Laughing at myself I stood up and opened the door. “Romancing over, you can all come back.” I called.
Yuki chuckled, Nin snorted and Alice looked at me sort of wide-eyed when they came in again.
“Will you marry Josh?” She asked; which made us all giggle very hard; and suddenly all awkwardness that might have been there before was gone.
I grinned at them a bit sheepishly and Yuki gave me a reassuring hug. My experienced sister-friend! Nin looked embarrassed now; he didn’t like all this talking of love and he being surrounded by girls only.
“Nin,” Yuki scolded. “Don’t look so disapprovingly. It’s wonderful! Just think of how low we were this morning; think of how distressed Josh was when we called at midday – and now all this happiness! It’s simply wonderful! I feel great!! Be happy, too!”
Alice still looked a bit confused and I wrapped her in my arms.
“Don’t you worry, little tiger. I love you and nothing will ever change that. You will always be my darling sister and I will always be there for you, no matter what.”
This seemed to comfort her as she relaxed in my arms and smacked a wet kiss on my cheek.
“Can we please get back to business now,” Nin complained.
“Of course!” I agreed readily. “Let’s try to call Uncle Phil. Josh told me that you haven’t been able to get hold of them these last few days.”
Nin nodded while installing the connection; we sat by watching him.
It felt definitely very strange: here I was with Alice in my arms. She, as well as Yuki and Nin were all healthy and safe; as were Josh and his group in England; and to top it all, Josh had professed his love for me!
What a change from this morning and these last few horrible, lonely days!
And now, hopefully we’d hear from Phil, Mum, Nate. So much had happened today, it really was overwhelming.
Nin had to try three times but then we could establish the connection. Uncle Phil answered the phone; first of all wanted to know whether Nin had any news from me.
Nin winked at me and I gladly stepped forward.
“Uncle Phil, this is Lia. Everything’s okay. I came back safe and sound tonight. We are all okay. So are Josh and his friends, we just talked with him…”
That’s as far as I got, then Uncle Phil did his bit of ranting at me.
By now I was used of it, it was to be expected after all. I loved them for it, somehow. It showed their love and concern for me more than anything else, didn’t it?
“Lia, girl, you are lucky that I am not over there with you! You might just be in for a good old spanking. I knew you were up to something, but I didn’t expect you to go this far. Have you taken leave of your senses? Girl! Really! I expected better of you than that!”
His words were serious, but something in his tone betrayed him, and so I chipped in before he was finished.
“Uncle Phil, no time for this. Listen what I learned. First, it was easy, almost frighteningly easy to lead Steve on a false trail. I left the car about half way toward Grindelwald and then hiked it back here. It was no problem at all and I never met anyone. At first. What was actually the scary part was t
he fact that nobody is out there anymore, or if, just some very few people. I had to spend one night on the way, on the second day I got here. But before I reached home, just down by the river I witnessed how some of the Nemesis collective hunted down four other survivors! They hunted them as if they were game and shot them in cold blood! Laughing all the while! It was barbaric, terrible, Uncle Phil, utterly horrible! And terrifying! I was hiding nearby and saw it all. And I heard them talking about Steve. From what they said it was evident that Steve is just a minor minion in their ranks. They let him have a go at us that day I left the sub-basement. And later, about ten days ago, they allowed him to come back and try to destroy our house. I am sure, Nin, Yuki and Alice told you about this. But once he’d tried without succeeding, it seems that he wasn’t allowed to come back any more. The day he came back, about ten days ago, he sprayed something on our house, some kind of message. I couldn’t yet read it as it was too dark tonight when I approached the house. We’ll have to see later what it was. You know, I waited outside of our house for several days because I wasn’t sure that I hadn’t caught the pathogen on the way, out there. Josh had told us about the seven to ten days viability of the pathogen. Therefor I decided to stick it out, wait and see. But I never felt any symptoms. Then, four days ago I saw a couple of heavily armed vehicles, trucks and motor bikes leave town. They were heading south and never came back, at least not by the same route. So, I guess that the Nemesis have left the area, at least for now.”
I ran out of breath and Uncle Phil, Mum and Nate quickly chipped in.
“Lia, oh Lia!” Mum was in tears, “Darling, I am so glad that you are back! You sound as if you are okay! But, Lia, never, do you hear, NEVER do something like this again!”
“Glad to hear you’re okay, Lia!” Nate was clearly happy, too, but much more in control. “As you can imagine, we all were very concerned about your crazy stint. And we would all gladly have boxed your ears, your mother especially. But you are back and everything is okay. And frankly, your report confirms that you were quite right to have done that. Don’t look at me so scandalized, Carrie, darling. You know it’s true, isn’t it Phil?”
“Apparently.” Uncle Phil growled. “But don’t expect to receive a medal for it; I still feel like boxing your ears. The information you gathered, though, is worth its weight in gold. Well done here, my girl, well done!”
Wow, to be praised by Uncle Phil like that surely meant something. I knew that he wasn’t really angry with me. He’d never say, but…
“Lia, my child!” Auntie Kamene had apparently entered their radio-room now, too, “I am so happy to hear your voice. You really had us worried these last days! Are you okay? It must have been very taxing to spend so many days in the cold, alone!”
I never knew why, was it her kind voice or her words or something else entirely, but I just burst out crying.
“It was horrible, Aunt Kamene,” I suddenly sobbed. “They killed those people as if they were some kind of vermin. And I could do nothing! I just had to crouch down in my hiding place, hope that they wouldn’t detect me and listen as they murdered these people! You know, one of them tried to safe his friend, a woman, maybe they were a couple, he’d stood in front of her, trying to shield her from the guns. He pleaded for her life! In vain! They shot them down just so! Laughing! It’s haunted me these last few days; how it’s haunted me! It was terrible, utterly inhumane! Barbaric! I will never forget it! Never! And I don’t even know who these people were, their names…” I was sobbing so hard, I couldn’t go on speaking.
They were all silent, didn’t know what to do.
Alice buried her head in my chest and whimpered. That helped me to get a grip on myself. Slowly the crying abated and I just sniffed now, uncontrollably, but at least no ore crying.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to be such a sissy,” I sniffed.
“Don’t be, Lia!” This was Uncle Phil again, voice concerned and compassionate but also cool and a bit detached.
Good! I really shouldn’t break down like that; it just made everyone anxious and uncomfortable and wasn’t helpful at all. I would have to live with the memory of this gruesome event. Probably there would be more unpleasant things to witness in the future.
“Life is a though bugger, as I always say,” Uncle Phil went on. “And no need to scowl at me, Kamene my dear! Lia, I am certain that you will work it out, you are a though one. I am sorry, that you had to witness this, but in a way it is also good. Don’t look at me in such a scandalized manner, Corrie, I have my reasons for saying this. It shows us clearly what we’ll have to expect from these people. And that we must be prepared to defend ourselves and fight them to death. They’ll show no mercy. They are bent on wiping us all out.”
Defending ourselves. A concept I naturally shied away from. I had never physically fought anyone.
Nin and Yuki did some target shooting and Yuki was very good at archery. And Alice and Nin had been practicing martial arts for years now. Alice of course on a much lower level than Nin. But for me, all this had never held any attraction. I knew how to handle a gun, of course, we had been taught that by Dad and Uncle Phil; but I had never really like it, nor was I good at it. My bag was reading tracks, moving about effortlessly in nature, camping out in any weather and place, that’s what I was good at. But fighting! Fighting just wasn’t my thing.
Yet, remembering the brutality of that massacre I had witnessed, however horrible it had been, made me feel fiercely protective of Alice, Yuki and Nin.
I would do anything to make sure that nothing ever happened to them! And I would never ever just stand there and wait for the bullet to hit! NEVER, I vowed to myself. I would learn how to defend myself and my loved ones! This was no choice anymore, but a necessity.
Suddenly, the connection with Uncle Phil and the others got shaky. And just as Uncle Phil was saying “Listen children, I am having problems maintaining a good connection here, as a massive storm is rapidly approaching. We’ll try to contact you as soon as possible; tell Josh not to …” with that the line went dead.
We looked at each other, a bit uncertain of what to do or say; but then joy that we had been able to talk with our loved ones took over. Alice was clearly over the moon.
“They are all right!” she sang out. “Mum and Nate are okay!”
She couldn’t’ sit still, slipped from my lap and ran around the room, then out to the main room and jumped on the sofa, bouncing happily up and down. “They are doing fine!”
We followed her out to the sofa and sat down. It was a shame that we had never gotten to ask Uncle Phil where they actually were by now. But they were safe. That was the main point. I was so tired and exhausted by now that I could hardly think straight anymore and could have fallen asleep straight there and then. But then again, there were so many things to discuss yet.
“Anyone some tea?” I asked, “I want to hear your story now. And as it’s going to take some time, I need a tea to stay awake. Will anyone join me?”
“Let’s celebrate a bit!” Yuki joined in Alice’s vibrant mood.
She jumped up from her seat, giving Nin a smack on his lips and whirled over to the kitchen.
“Let’s have some treats, a strong tea for Lia, some hot chocolate for Alice and me, Nin, what do you fancy? And we’ll dig out some of our goodies.” Alice went to help her. Within no time they brought in some trays and we all settle around the coffee table
And then, they finally told me their side of the last fourteen days.
“After you left,” Yuki began, “mayhem ensued here! You know, total mayhem. First, Alice had sort of a breakdown. Yes, Alice darling, don’t roll your eyes at me now, you were quite beside yourself at the time.”
Alice scowled at Yuki and at the same time tried to look apologetically at me, shrugging her shoulders as if to say, ‘it wasn’t that bad, really!’
I tousled her hair affectionately and said nothing.
“And then, maybe ten minutes after you left, Nin woke up, and went basi
cally berserk. He was more than furious at you and what you had done to him. It was, frankly, frightening. He called you names and things and wouldn’t have stopped had Alice not shouted at him that he should stop and that I was pregnant.”
She too tousled Alice’s long mane now and kissed her gently on her hair.
“Didn’t you, little tiger? And good it was! It stopped Nin dead in his tracks. Even though afterwards I was afraid he would keel over and faint. He turned dead pale, shut up and just stared at me. It was frightening, because at first I couldn’t gauge his feelings to this revelation Did he like the idea? Hardly, at the time. Was he angry at me? Why should he? Would he still love me? All sorts of crazy thoughts buzzed through my head, Lia! I can tell you. I was tense as hell and totally insecure. It must have shown on my face because suddenly Nin unfroze and crossed the space between us in two big strides, folding me in his arms and everything was alright. And finally, after all this worrying I could feel happy about the fact that we were going to have a baby!”
She turned around to face Nin who sat beside her on the sofa.
“It was really so much of a relief for me, Nin, that you just made me feel loved and that everything was alright. I love you, you know.”
He looked a bit uncomfortable at all this emotional outpouring and being at the centre of the attention, but he bore it graciously and just took her hand, lifted it to his lips and kissed it. They smiled at each other, for a moment oblivious to Alice’s and my presence, but then Yuki turned back toward me and went on.
“Of course, this distracted him only so far. After a few minutes he tore away from me and demanded to know more. Since when did I know? Why hadn’t I told him earlier? How far had the pregnancy proceeded? Was I alright? Questions upon questions. I think we would have gone on talking about this, us, us becoming three, if you like, for a long time, had it not been for Alice. She squirmed literally between the two of us and said ‘now you know why Lia did it, but will she come back safe, Nin?’ and with that reality sort of caught up with us.”
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