Gods and Frogs, Oh My!

by Crymsyn Hart

  “They’re not yours. Both came here seeking help. You are a former Delphic Oracle, Del. You know the consequences for breaking those laws. You swore to me to do my bidding. I always said those who came to you for help must be treated with the respect they deserve. Not manipulated into your sadistic games especially with these creatures looking on.” Apollo motioned for Kalliope to come into his arms. He kissed her forehead. Warmth flowed down through her third eye settling over the physical wounds the whip had inflicted and the mental ones. In a moment her flesh was flawless. As for her experience with Del, Kalliope felt no remorse or shame for what had happened. Because of Apollo’s healing powers she was apathetic towards it and did not feel violated. She was mad as hell that the Oracle had taken advantage of her. Kalliope closed her eyes envisioning herself in the green outfit Lugh had bestowed to her before her crazy journey. She was dressed in it minus the necklace. Apollo healed Nas next. When the other goddess revived, she smiled at Kalliope and then snapped her fingers, conjuring clothes for herself.

  Apollo stared at Del. “I gave you the position as Oracle and you disobeyed me. I’m sure Hades can find something for you to do in the Underworld. Tell him I said hello.”

  Del fell to the ground to kiss the god’s sandals. “Please don’t exile me to the Underworld. I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked of me. Everything! Persephone is so vanilla. Please! I did what you asked with the—”

  “You should have thought of that before.” The god snapped his fingers. Del was swallowed in blue black flames leaving the stench of sulfur behind.

  “You ladies ready to go?”

  “Please,” whispered Nas.

  “Good because I’m getting sick of disco. The eighties had so much more style.”

  Kalliope didn’t say a thing, but relaxed in the god’s arms. He led them up the stairs and out of the night club. She wished she was in Lugh’s arms and had to bite back the tears forming in her eyes. But she couldn’t think about her heartache. She had to focus on what she had learned about the Furies. Someone was behind letting them out. Her money was on Zeus since he had blackmailed Dagda to get Kalliope over to Mount Olympus. Now she had to get the Furies out of her realm before they started enslaving people. Then she could work on taking down the mastermind behind their escape. Then she would find Lugh and tell him how sorry she was. At least she owed him the benefit of the doubt. He had never put her in harm’s way. He would have been there to help her, but he was not allowed. One thing she learned from the encounter was that she was not infallible.

  A smiled spread on her face when she thought about the chains she had been bound in. She had an idea.

  “Well, you ladies are out of danger. I will take my leave of you.” Apollo bowed.

  “Hey, have you seen my familiar?” Kalliope asked. The last time she had seen him the bartender was making googly eyes at him. Where the frog got it from, she had no idea.

  “No, he was not in the night club when I rescued you. I’m sure he’ll show up.”

  “But—”

  “Kalliope, why don’t you let Apollo go? We can look for your frog after,” Nas interjected.

  She saw a strange look in the goddess’s eyes and nodded. “I guess you’re right. Apollo, thanks for coming to our rescue. A damsel always needs a hero in dire times.”

  The god bowed again and faded out of view. Kalliope turned to Nas. One would never know she had been tortured. The only thing different about the goddess was there were little worry lines around her eyes and the corners of her mouth betrayed her age. She wore a black dress and her hair was a dark shade of brown.

  “Thanks.”

  “What for?” Kalliope asked. They began walking away from the entrance of the night club into a vast open field where the grass seemed to be on steroids. In the distance, Kalliope saw several animals that could have been horses grazing by a stream that glinted in the sunlight. But she knew not to take anything for granted in the astral realm. The horses could have been centaurs, unicorns, pegasus, or something different she had never even seen before.

  “You didn’t have to come and meet me. You could have forgotten all about me.”

  In truth she had forgotten about Nas. It was only when she saw her strapped to the other rack did she remember the goddess was going to meet her. “Umm—so did you find anything out about the Furies we can use?” She felt a hand on her shoulder.

  She looked over at Nas who was smiling at her. “Kalli, it’s okay that you forgot about me. I’ve been a real bitch to you and you didn’t deserve that.”

  “That’s okay. It’s behind us now, right? So did you find anything?” Kalliope was staring at the herd of animals that was moving closer to them.

  “No, it’s not okay. I have to confess something.”

  “What?”

  The goddess took in a deep breath and looked at the sky. It was very unusual for her to apologize. Nas had admitted she hated humans and that Kalliope was nothing more than scum to her. But that was back when she was being kept prisoner in the Oak Tree. Exile had changed the goddess. Hopefully for the better.

  “The other night, when you were with Lugh skinny dipping. You thought something bit you and that was why you had gotten sick.”

  Nas bit her lip and twirled a few strands of her hair. Kalliope noticed the animals were getting closer. “Yeah, so.”

  “Well, you didn’t get an ordinary cold.”

  “I know that. Apollo said he shot me with a Lust Arrow to see if I’d sleep with him, or something, because he wanted to test my love for Lugh.”

  “Actually, it wasn’t Apollo’s idea. It was mine. I asked him to shoot you with one of Cupid’s arrows. I wanted you to cheat on Lugh so I’d have another chance with him.”

  A bolt of rage coursed through her. She really is a bitch. Great. Just great. This is all I need to know to add to my already full and tipping over plate. Why not pile more crap on?

  “When I saw you in front of Zeus with the stone Lugh gave you, I was enraged. I couldn’t believe it. That was why I followed you and tried to shoot you. When you told me he gave it to you, I knew it was over between Lugh and I. It broke my heart. I want to help you. That was why I came here. Del foresaw my arrival and tricked me to get me downstairs. She knocked me out and tied me up. I came to some and overheard her talking with someone about the Furies. I’m so sorry for the trouble I caused you and for trying to turn you into a tree in the past. Can we be friends?”

  Kalliope studied the goddess. Was she being sincere? Having a strange reaction to the Lust Arrow hadn’t been all that bad with the floating furniture. However, she was not particularly happy about almost sleeping with Apollo because Nas wanted to mess with her love life. The more she examined the goddess, the more she realized Nas was being honest. She really did want to be friends with her. Great. All I need is another goddess in my life. I have a hard enough time juggling the roommate I already have. Why not have one more? I’m sleeping with her ex. This will just make my life even more interesting.

  “Nas, I can forgive you for everything you did, including trying to turn me into a plant. It will take me a while to forget. How about we start off slow? We get through getting the Furies back into the Underworld and then maybe we can have a late night slumber party and have ice cream. Okay?”

  The goddess was silent while she contemplated the decision. “Sounds great. So, are you going to ask me what I overheard when I was captive?”

  Kalliope saw that the group of horses was closer. They appeared to be unicorns headed in their general direction and were picking up speed. The leader’s head was down. Its horn pointed directly at her. She grabbed a hold of Nas, pulled her along, and started running.

  “I think we can wait. We have bigger problems.”

  Nas looked behind her and saw why they had started running. The herd of eight was almost upon them. Kalliope and Nas ran until she tripped and fell in the grass. She grabbed for Nas who came with her. A couple of sets of hooves sailed over her and land g
racefully a few feet in front of them. She got up and dusted herself off.

  She was surprised to see the unicorn had two horns not one. One was made of spiraled ivory. The other was short maybe a couple of inches long and coal black. Kalliope wondered if legends had also gotten the folklore wrong about creatures. But when she stood up, she noticed there was something on the lead stallion’s back. It appeared to be her familiar.

  “I believe this belongs to you.” The bicorn gestured to the frog that was passed out on its back. She scooped up the frog and cradled him in her arms. Several lash marks scarred his back and stomach. One of his webbed feet had been cut off. He was beaten up and tortured. Her heart went out to the womanizing frog. He might have had a thing for breasts, but he didn’t deserve to be mauled because she was an extension of him.

  “Thank you. Where did you find him?”

  “You’re welcome. He was by the River Styx. Charon was about to take him when a woman appeared and took him in her arms. She asked that we bring him to you and deliver a message.”

  Kalliope looked at Nas, who shrugged, not sure why or who the strange woman would be, not to mention the message. “What’s the message?”

  “She said you’re not the only one who is a sucker for cheesecake, and if you save the world you’ll have an apple pie waiting for you.” The stallion seemed annoyed. He pawed the ground.

  At the mention of apple pie, Kalliope knew Constance was the one who had saved Humphrey. Constance was her great aunt who had watched out for her after her parents had died. In life, she was obsessed with apples and constantly made apple pies. A lot of them she gave away, sold, fed Ickleberry the goblin with, who was watching over Kalliope even as a child, and forced Kalliope to eat. Even in death, her aunt randomly appeared in her kitchen and started baking pies. She had lost count of all the times she had woken up from dreams to find a half eaten pie sitting in the middle of her kitchen table. Constance also made them for Flidais because she was hooked on them too.

  Now all she had to figure out was the reference to cheesecake. Why would Constance not come herself? Unless she slipped in and was not supposed to because Kalliope was barred from getting assistance from ghosts too? Maybe helping Humphrey wasn’t against the rules because technically he was his own being.

  “Thanks for the message.”

  The bicorn bowed. “You’re most welcome.” He neighed to the other bicorns and swung off in another direction. They sped off looking like a white sea among the grass.

  Kalliope stroked the back of the frog. She felt bad for the way she had spoken to him. Granted he had gotten on her nerves, but who wouldn’t get annoyed with a womanizing frog? He had taken blows for her and had been true to his word that he would lay down his life for her. If Charon was about to take him, that meant he was near death. Kalliope may not have known much about Greek Gods, but she knew the ferryman to the Underworld. Charon was not unlike the Grim Reaper who demanded payment of a coin if he took a soul on the River Styx to the Underworld.

  When she ran her hand over the amphibian’s back, he slowly started coming around. After a few moments, he opened his beady eyes. “I’m in heaven. Ribbit!” Then he fell back unconscious. Kalliope chuckled and tucked him under her arm since he liked to be close to her chest. At least he was warm. The more she held him, the more she realized his injuries were getting better. Maybe her magick was healing him since he was part of her. Knowing he was going to be okay, Kalliope focused her attention back to Nas. “So, what did you find out when you were at Del’s?”

  “What?”

  “You said you overhead Del taking to someone about the Furies? What did they say?”

  “Right. Sorry, I was still stuck on the bicorns. I’ve never seen one up close.”

  “You’re a goddess and you’ve never seen one of the animals up close? I thought they roamed free all over the realm.”

  Nas shook her head. “No, they’re strictly a Greek animal. We have unicorns wandering in our forests. Anyway, I overheard Del saying to her guest the only weakness the Furies had was cheesecake. They go bonkers over it. When Zeus locked them up in the Underworld, he denied them access to it. It made them seriously bitter.”

  “How? No wait—I don’t want to know—” Kalliope shook her head. She gazed at the rising sun. At the very edge of the orb was a chariot and golden horses with long, flowing manes. It’s true the sun is drawn by a chariot. I wonder if Apollo is up there doing it. Maybe that was why he had to go. “Okay, so they have a fetish for cheesecake. I can understand that. It also makes sense to what the bicorn said. It was Constance trying to tell me the same thing.” She thought a moment with the new info she had. “I have an idea that I think we can use. Do you know where I can find Hephaestus?”

  “I do.” Nas blushed. “He and I hooked up a few times. He owes me a couple of favors. Why do you ask?”

  “We need to get some of those chains Del had.”

  “You’re going to use them on the Furies?”

  Kalliope nodded. “We need three sets. I haven’t figured out how we are going to get them on them, but we can use cheesecake to do it. I just need to figure out that part. Look, can you find out if the Furies have captured anyone? And if so, where are they keeping them?”

  Nas smiled. “How about you take care of doing recon on the Furies? I’ll get the chains. Handling Hephaestus can get very delicate since he’s so hot.”

  Kalliope chuckled. “Fine, you take care of that. I’m going to take Humph back to my apartment and check on Theresa. When I left her, she had just walked in on her cheating husband.”

  “Do you want me to turn him into a thorn bush for you? I’ve had very good practice with that.” Nas grinned wickedly. Her hair was now copper with highlights of bronze, orange, and dark brown. Her dress was burnt yellow. Kalliope could only guess what Nas was going to do with the god, but she could imagine.

  “You get the chains. I’ll get Humph fixed up.”

  Nas waved her hand. In a burst of flame, she was swallowed whole to go with the outfit. Gods certainly had a flare for the dramatic.

  Chapter Ten

  Kalliope shivered when she returned to her apartment. The air was thinner from the astral plane and the air conditioner was blasting. She hugged the frog closer to her chest, hoping he appreciated it. When she examined him, his face was not so bruised. The whip lashes were nearly healed. Theresa had camped out on her bed and was fast asleep. Hopefully sleep would help and heal her heart a little. She waved the door shut and sat down on the couch. Her bones were heavy. She might have been knocked out for a little while, but staying in the astral realm for long periods of time was draining. Her lids were heavy. The couch was comfortable. Humphrey was still passed out. Kalliope figured he’d be fine until she woke up. It was better he slept and when he woke up she would talk to him.

  She patted him on the head. In the back of her mind she saw herself curled up on the couch warm and happy. When she fell asleep, she felt the weight of a blanket settle on top of her. Kalliope drifted. Her body grew light, while her mind was still aware. Her eyes opened. She instantly recognized where she was.

  She was in a glade surrounded by trees the size of small skyscrapers. They were bigger than Redwoods. Flowers of blue, purple, and yellow dotted the ground. Lush greenery and herbs were mixed in with the grass. The familiar scent of jasmine and lavender perfumed the air. The atmosphere hung heavy around her. In the center of the clearing was a large, clear pool. It was blue-green and she could see right to the bottom of it. An outcrop of rocks dotted one edge. One was a flat slab. This was the clearing she had met Nas and had her first glimpse of the astral realm. It was where she first realized she did indeed love Lugh. That was months ago before she had eaten any apples and still had a Death god after her. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Kalliope walked over to the pool and peered down into the bottom. Her siren friend was not there. Only fish the size of trucks and the odd turtle swam among the greenery. She ran her fingers over the motionless surface. N
ot even a ripple broke the glass like reflection. She sighed, feeling loss resonating in her soul. She had been an idiot to cast Lugh aside over something so stupid. He had done nothing to betray her trust. All he had done was love her and she had discarded him at the first sign of her own insecurities. What did that say about her?

  It says I’m a mistrusting bitch who can’t see the truth under her nose. Kalliope wondered if her heart was twisted in some way that she couldn’t trust men anymore. Maybe it’d be better if I turned Quince into a toad. Then I don’t have to deal with the thought of him anymore. It’s not that he haunts me really, but what he did to me does. Maybe I can transform the tits with legs into something that will make all the other guys think she’s a guy? Hmm…that would be something! I could do a glamour on her a so all the world will think she’s a guy. What would Quince do then? The thought made Kalliope smile a little, but it did nothing to lighten her mood. Why had she come here? Something must have pulled her.

  “I brought you here.” She heard Lugh’s voice in her thoughts. She looked up from the pool and scanned the clearing. The god was nowhere to be seen. His presence caressed her from behind. The warmth of his energy was smothering. It tugged at her heartstrings knowing he was so near, yet so far away. Finally, she stopped looking and stared back into the pool. In the reflection, he leaned against the outcropping of rocks.

  The god was dressed in tight leather pants, no shirt, and a studded leather collar around his neck. It reminded her of the one Humphrey had on. When she looked back at the rocks, he wasn’t there. “I guess this is as good as I’m going to get,” she whispered. A lump formed in her throat.

  She studied the hard muscles of his chest and moved her gaze over his body, savoring every hunky detail she could in case this would be the last time she saw him. Even though she knew every inch of her lover’s body by heart, her fingers yearned to touch the sculpted tan chest and squeeze the perfectly round derriere. His eyes held her transfixed, green as a budding oak leaf and fathomless. She could lose her soul in them. His appearance might not have hinted at his true age or wisdom, but his eyes did. And Kalliope loved him more than she ever did Quince.