Fisher of Men

by Pam Rhodes

  “This smells of her.”

  Neil sat down on the chair opposite her. “Lily was a wonderful lady. What a life she had!”

  “I’ve never known a day which didn’t have Lily and Elsie in it,” said Alison. “They’d come back from Africa by the time I was born, so to me they were just the aunts around the corner. I remember so much – how there was always the smell of lavender around them; how they were never too busy to sit down and listen to all my troubles; how Lily grew vegetables that were so delicious, I even liked her Brussels sprouts; how their hugs made the world go away; how Elsie’s chocolate cake made everything and everyone seem better and kinder somehow.”

  That brought a smile to Neil’s face. “Ah, Elsie’s cakes…”

  “She’s such a wonderful cook…”

  “And there’s no reason why she can’t go on baking cakes as she always has done, is there?”

  Alison’s eyes were sad as she replied. “I know what you’re saying. She belongs here. If I love her, why make her move?”

  Neil nodded in agreement, allowing Alison to continue thinking out loud.

  “But she needs to move, because she’ll be unsafe here on her own. What if something happens? What if she falls? What if she has a stroke or heart attack, and she’s alone and frightened?”

  “She doesn’t come across as frightened at the prospect of being here on her own,” said Neil. “Quite the opposite. What seems to scare the daylights out of her is the thought that she will be forced to live in a home that’s full of people who won’t allow her to be what she is – where she can’t nip into the kitchen and bake a cake when she feels like it; where the treasures of her lifetime have to be given away so that her life can be squeezed into one tiny room; where her individuality and freedom are curtailed; where her deep faith may not be valued and allowed for…”

  “But that might also be the place where she has lovely meals cooked for her; where she gets to know new friends who are also living there; where we can be certain she’ll take her medicine, have a proper balanced diet, and be safe if her health takes a turn for the worse.”

  “And that’s understandably reassuring for you and the family – but what about Elsie? Isn’t her peace of mind important in all of this?”

  “Of course it is! Of course I want Elsie to be content and settled, especially now her life-long companion has gone. It’s all so difficult. I’m not the wicked witch, even if Elsie is beginning to think I am.”

  “I know,” agreed Neil. “There’s no easy answer here. It’s a balancing act between what you and the family feel is most sensible, and what Elsie herself wants and needs.”

  “That’s exactly it, and although I’m probably the family member who’s closest to Elsie, I can’t make this decision on my own. We’ve decided that when the whole family is gathered together for the funeral, we will talk it through with Elsie and make a considered decision.”

  “That seems sensible.”

  “You see, I hear what Elsie is saying, but I can also see that she can’t bear the thought of any more change. Coping without Lily’s company is change enough, so she wants everything else to stay the same. That’s so understandable, but it also means that she’s not necessarily the best judge of her practical and medical needs.”

  Alison wrapped the silky material of Lily’s nightdress around her fingers as she spoke.

  “Isn’t it a bit like someone who’s spent years banging their head against a brick wall? It’s not until they actually stop doing it that they realize life can be so much easier and more comfortable. Life could be very pleasant for Elsie, especially in the place that we’ve taken her to see. It’s run by a Christian organization. They’re all really caring, skilled people on the staff. The meals looked OK. The room she could have is very nice – not huge, but how much space does a ninety-six year-old need?”

  “Well, you must be exhausted after the day you’ve had,” said Neil. “You could probably do with a bit of TLC at the moment.”

  “You’re probably right. I’ve done my best to be organized today. There’s so much to get done. Maybe the one thing I’ve not allowed time for is my own grief.”

  “I’ll stay here with Elsie if you’d like to go home for a while.”

  Alison’s smile was grateful. “No need for you to stay. My husband, Phil, is going to be here in a little while. They’ve always got on well, those two. He makes her laugh. Maybe not today – but she likes his company.”

  “And Margaret is planning to pop in this afternoon.”

  “Oh, that’s another thing. We need to see her so that we can get our thoughts together about the funeral.”

  “Well, be gentle with yourself today,” said Neil, noticing the shadows of fatigue etched across Alison’s face. “Let Margaret just be with Elsie this afternoon, then you can talk to her about other arrangements tomorrow, when you’re a little less exhausted.”

  And as Alison went down to the kitchen to collect her coat and handbag, Neil took one last peep at the sleeping Elsie before quietly letting himself out the front door.

  CHAPTER 10

  On Wednesday night, Neil was sitting at the head of the bowling alley on which the four of them were playing. He was trying hard to keep his attention on the score screen in front of him, but it was very difficult not to be distracted by Wendy, who was looking particularly fetching that night in her shiny black leggings which shimmered tightly around her long, slender legs. She seemed oblivious to him as she concentrated on sending the bowling ball down the centre of the alley.

  He felt a nudge on his left shoulder, and managed to drag himself away from the scene to find Graham laughing beside him.

  “She really likes you. Debs told me.”

  Neil’s eyes widened. “She does?”

  Graham was still grinning widely as he nodded. “She definitely does – so make your move, if you like her too. Tonight’s your chance!”

  “What about you? Any luck with the internet dating yet?”

  “Well, I’m having some deeply meaningful conversations online with about three women at the moment, but…”

  “But?”

  “… one of them sounds a bit intense. The other one looks as if she’s about fifty if she’s a day, in spite of her putting her age down as under thirty. And the one I like…”

  “You like one? Are you going to meet her?”

  “That’s what she’s suggesting.”

  “So you’ll go then, won’t you?”

  Graham sat down heavily on the seat beside Neil, his expression suddenly vulnerable and uncertain.

  “That’s the problem, isn’t it? She thinks I’m athletic and sporty – and that I’m a bit of an intellectual.”

  “Why? Why didn’t you just tell her about you as you really are?”

  “Because, just look at me! Thirty-one years old when she thinks I’m twenty-eight, a flabby fifteen stone when she thinks I’m a muscular god – and I told her I’m a great cook, when actually the highlight of my week is Sunday lunch back home with Mum.”

  Neil nodded gravely, trying hard not to laugh. “That will teach you not to tell fibs!”

  The two men looked up at the sound of skittles being knocked down. Wendy whooped with delight to see that six of them in the middle had been hit, which meant she had to decide which side to aim for to pick up another couple of points on her second bowl.

  “I suppose you wouldn’t consider coming clean? You’re a great bloke, Graham. You just don’t believe anyone could be interested in you as you are.”

  “Based on past experience, women aren’t interested in me just as I am.”

  “But it sounds as if she’s not been completely truthful either.”

  Graham’s eyes opened wide with horror.

  “Well, that would be very unfair!”

  Neil laughed out loud. “OK, I give in. You are destined to a life of lonely celibacy.”

  Graham buried his head in his arms and groaned, just as Debs came up behind him to slap him
on the back.

  “OK, boys. I know we girls are out-playing you, but there’s no need to take it so hard. We’ll go easy on you, let you catch up a bit!”

  At that moment, Wendy came skipping back to the desk, clapping in delight at her score of eight. In fact, she’d had several scores which were even higher, but every success was greeted as a delightful surprise, complete with jubilant, girly squeals and giggles.

  “Your go, Graham.”

  Neil realized, as he turned to prompt Graham, that he was already up and selecting his bowling ball – but in that split second, Neil caught sight of Debs’ face as she watched her childhood friend take up his position at the head of the alley. In her expression, Neil could see affection, indulgence and longing – but so much more too. With a flash of understanding, Neil saw the real situation at last. Debs didn’t think of Graham as just “the boy next door”. She loved him. Even Neil could see that – Neil, who accepted he was sadly lacking in intuition and experience where women were concerned. If Neil could see the obvious, then why hadn’t Graham clocked what was happening under his nose? He was searching for the perfect partner – when there she was, standing right beside him all the time.

  Neil glanced up to see that Wendy was watching his expression with interest, as if she could read his thoughts. Gracefully, she slid into the seat beside him.

  “The trouble is,” she whispered in his ear, “Graham is too thick to realize how much Debs cares about him.”

  The two of them watched Debs go up and throw her arms around Graham as he scored a strike.

  “They look perfect together,” agreed Neil. “But if Graham has known her for so long and never made a move, perhaps he will never be interested in her in a different way?”

  “Who knows? I get the feeling he’d be grateful for any woman to take him even half seriously.”

  Neil laughed. “You may be right – but if you have a platonic affection for someone you know really well, can those feelings change to become romantic? Don’t ask me! I’m hopeless at things like this.”

  “What do you mean – hopeless?” Wendy’s face was disarmingly near his, and she smelt fresh and flowery and her lips looked soft and very pink.

  “Well, I’m not very good at this relationship business.”

  “Why ever not? You’re clever, kind – quite good-looking in an individual sort of way.”

  “Thanks a lot,” mumbled Neil.

  “So why wouldn’t women be attracted to you?”

  “Oh, it’s me, I suppose. Perhaps because I’m an only child? I’ve never had sisters or even cousins to practise on. I’m just not very used to having girls around.”

  “But you must have had girlfriends?” Wendy’s eyes were wide and disbelieving.

  “Of course, yes!” Neil looked flustered, before adding, “Well, I was in a crowd at university where there were quite a few girls. I got on all right with them.”

  “There you are, then! All you need is a bit more confidence – and a woman with patience and experience to draw out your sensual side.”

  Neil blushed scarlet. “Not a lot of those around,” he stammered.

  “Oh, I don’t know…”

  And as if in slow motion, Wendy leaned forward to plant the lightest of kisses on his half-open mouth. Her eyes were open and staring into his as she increased the pressure in a way that sent bolts of pleasure coursing through him. He meant to pull away. He meant to extricate himself so that they could share the joke of the moment together – but from the intensity of her gaze, he realized with surprise that she didn’t look as if she was joking. With a small groan, Neil closed his eyes, giving himself up to the warm feeling that was spreading to every part of his willing body.

  “Break it up, you two!” interrupted Graham. “You’ll get us all thrown out – and I’m just on a winning streak! Come on, partner, we’ve been gentlemanly enough to let these girls win up to now…”

  This was greeted with indignant complaint by the girls.

  “… so put that woman down, and show them how it’s done!”

  Neil’s feet did actually move as he stood up to take his place, but his mind was in a complete daze. Wendy had kissed him – and he had kissed her back. They had stepped across the threshold of the positions they held in each other’s lives – she a valued volunteer at the church, and he a priest. Where did that leave them now? This changed things in so many ways, most of them completely wonderful. His Mum would be pleased, for a start!

  The feeling obviously did him good, because he scored a strike straight away, followed by another. By the end of their time at the bowling alley, Neil and Graham had “allowed” (so they said!) the girls to win the first match, although the men thoroughly thrashed their opponents in their last game. Exhilarated and in good spirits, the four of them tumbled into the pizza restaurant which stood just across the way from the bowling alley. They sat in couples on either side of a long table, with Wendy’s knees brushing against Neil’s leg throughout the whole meal. As the meal progressed, they all mellowed into the warm, companionable atmosphere, as they chatted and laughed their way through three courses followed by coffee all round. It was getting late when they realized they were the last to leave the restaurant as they headed out to find Wendy’s car. Graham threw a friendly arm around Debs’ shoulders as they walked, while Neil felt Wendy slip her small hand into his as they walked across the car park.

  Debs and Graham got in the back because they were the first to be dropped off, as their houses were practically back to back. Once they were gone, in a flurry of hugs and goodbyes, Neil and Wendy suddenly found themselves alone in the silence of the car. Neil couldn’t think of a word to say, although the atmosphere was charged with what remained unspoken. Wendy, on the other hand, seemed completely cool as she skilfully navigated her way across town towards Vicarage Gardens.

  “I’d invite you in for a coffee…” Neil began when they were parked.

  “That would be nice.”

  “But that probably wouldn’t be a good idea.”

  “Oh, I don’t know.”

  “But…”

  “You’re my priest.”

  “Exactly!”

  “And my friend?”

  “Of course!”

  “Well, my dear Neil, I think you and I are on the verge of becoming extremely good friends.”

  “You do?”

  “I do.”

  She leaned across the car and, with the lightest of touches, placed her hand on his chest. He watched in fascinated anticipation as she allowed her fingers to walk up his chest until, cupping his face in her hand, she drew him to her so that their lips joined in a deep, satisfying kiss that left him reeling.

  “Right then,” he finally managed to say as he gathered his jacket up from the back seat. “It’s been lovely.”

  “It certainly has.”

  “See you, then.”

  “To be continued…” A soft smile played on her lips. “Good night, Neil.”

  “Good night, Wendy. Thank you.”

  And Neil stumbled out of her car and into the house, where he collapsed on to the bottom stair with air whistling through his teeth in a mixture of delight and disbelief.

  The knocking on his front door early the following morning wasn’t especially loud, but it was certainly insistent. Thursday was his day off, so it was in bare feet and dressing gown that Neil tumbled sleepily down the stairs to open the door. He was greeted by a cupcake – held out to him by Sam, who was grinning with excitement.

  “This is for you! Mummy helped Uncle Harry and me make them for her birthday! She’s twenty-seven today.”

  “Sam! You promised not to tell anyone that. It’s not polite to tell people how old a lady is!”

  Claire’s head appeared around the corner of the front porch to join Sam, who was frowning.

  “But you are old, Mummy.”

  In spite of being half asleep, Neil caught Claire’s grimace and they both laughed.

  “Happy birth
day!” he smiled. “You’re a dark horse. You didn’t mention that was coming up.”

  She shrugged. “I’m not really into birthdays, at least not mine – but for Sam, birthdays are a big occasion. He loves cakes, so we did some baking together last night. He thought you’d like the one with purple, green and yellow icing.”

  “How right he is,” commented Neil, looking uncertainly at the multicoloured blob.

  “It tastes all right – honest!”

  Neil struggled to keep a straight face as he looked down at Sam to say thank you. It was clear, though, that the small boy still had the earlier conversation about his Mum’s very old age on his mind.

  “Mummy, were you in the Ark?”

  Claire tried to look indignant but had to stifle a chuckle as she answered, “No, Sam, I wasn’t.”

  “Oh.” Sam looked puzzled. “Why didn’t you drown, then?”

  The two grown-ups roared with laughter while a perplexed Sam looked on. Neil stretched out to ruffle the boy’s hair.

  “I see you were listening when Grandad brought you to Sunday School then, when I was telling you about Noah.”

  “Come on, Sam, you’ll be late for school unless we get a move on. Sorry we got you up so early, Neil. I should have remembered this is your day off.”

  “No problem. I ought to be surfacing anyway. What are you doing to celebrate your birthday tonight, by the way?”

  “Eating cupcakes, lots of them.”

  “Come to tea! Come to tea!” squealed Sam.

  “Neil’s probably busy,” interjected Claire. “And it’s his day off.”

  “I’ll show you the beans I’m growing in a jar in the kitchen. They’re huge!”

  “Beans, eh? Now you’re talking!”

  “We can eat them!”

  “When the plants are a bit bigger and they’ve had a chance to grow in the garden, yes, we can.” Claire put her hand on her son’s shoulder so that she could guide him away from the door and off to school.