by Marilyn Lee
“I know how you feel—”
“Oh, Reed, I doubt very much that you’ve ever been in love alone.”
He caressed her cheek. “If things were different and if I weren’t so much older than you...”
The look in his eyes made her hold her breath. Was he about to tell her she wasn’t in love alone? “What?”
“Things might have...We might have...You are the last woman in the world I’d ever want to hurt.”
“And yet you do it so well.”
“Oh, honey!” He leaned back against the door, closing his eyes.
“But that’s the problem. I’m not your honey, Reed.”
His jaw clenched several times before he turned to look at her. “I...I lead Taylor to believe I wanted to marry her. I...I can’t just...drop her.”
“Didn’t she drop you?”
“No. She chose to forgive my…indiscretion with you.”
“What indiscretion?”
“She thinks we slept together.”
“And she still wants you?”
“Yes.”
“Fine, Reed. Marry your one–woman!”
“If you could just...bear with me, Annalise. I...”
“You’ll what?”
“Just trust me.”
“This from the guy who’s already hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt before?”
Chapter Ten
He stared at her, looking so helpless and lost that it was all she could do to keep from putting her arms around him and assuring him that everything would be all right.
“No need to look like that. I’m a big girl, RP Senior. It’s going to take a lot of prayer and reliance on Christ, but I will get over you.”
“You must know by now that I don’t want you to get over me.”
“Then...what do you want, Reed?”
“For you to forgive me. Trust me. Bear with me. And know that I never intended to hurt you.”
“That’s the thing about love, RP Senior, it just happens or it doesn’t. I took one look at you and fell in love while you felt nothing.”
“I’ve made things worse.” He got up. “I should go.”
She couldn’t trust her knees not to buckle if she stood up so she slid across the rug until she’d cleared the door and leaned against the wall.
“Do me a favor, Reed. Drive carefully and be happy.”
He stared down at her, the muscles in his jaw clenching and unclenching. “I need a little time to put things right. Are you going to be all right?”
Despite her best efforts, her eyes filled with tears. “Please go, Reed.” She brought her knees up to her chest and buried her face against them.
He knelt to caress her arm.
She pulled away. “Don’t.”
“I can’t leave you like this,” he said and put his arms around her.
His nearness was too sweet to resist. She turned her face into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his waist. Tears spilled down her cheeks.
“Please don’t cry, Annalise!”
She felt his fingers on her face. In her hair, pulling it free. When it had fallen around her face in an untidy cloud, he cupped her face in his hands. He gazed into her eyes.
“You have such lovely hair. Dark, thick, and beautiful. Beautiful eyes. Beautiful skin tone. A beautiful smile. Such soft, sweet lips.”
The breath caught in her throat when she felt his lips touch her face. “I’ve been enchanted since the moment we met.”
She opened her eyes. “You have?”
He brushed his lips against her brows. “Yes. Yes.”
“Kiss me?”
He sucked in his breath and nodded quickly, then shook his head just as quickly. “I can’t.”
“Why not? If you want to?”
“I do want to. You have no idea how much I want to, but I can’t. Not until I straighten things out with Taylor—”
She gripped the lapels of his jacket. “I’m so sick of hearing about her! She’ll never love or adore you half as much as I do!”
He stared silently at her.
“Are you and she engaged?”
“No, but kissing you when we’re alone isn’t a good idea. I’ve already lost my head once when I kissed you.”
“You remember kissing me in your bedroom? You didn’t think I was Taylor?”
He stroked the back of his hand against the side of her neck. “I’ve never mistaken you for anyone else, Annalise, and Taylor and I have never been that…intimate.”
“Why not?”
“She was never able to tempt me as…completely as you do.” He leaned forward to kiss her neck. “I knew I was kissing you.”
She turned her head until her mouth was inches from his. “Reed?”
His lips moved slowly against her mouth with a warm, insistent heat.
Tingling with desire, she wound her arms around his neck. She loved everything about him: the taste of his lips, the feel of his fingers holding her face, and the smell of his cologne. Feeling his tongue against her lips, she opened her mouth.
He kissed her with a slow heat that seared the taste of his lips on hers. His fingertips brushed against her cheeks, her neck, and her shoulders. When he touched her breasts, she gasped and pulled away from him.
Her heart thumped painfully when he pulled her back into his arms and buried his lips in her hair again. He held her close to his pounding heart. “I told you kissing you when we’re alone wasn’t a good idea.”
After a long, breathless moment, she turned her head slowly. His lips were just a breath away. She lifted her gaze until she could look into his blue one. She wanted to believe that all his hints added up to love, but she saw no signs of love for her in his eyes.
She knew he cared about her. He wouldn’t have humbled himself as he had that night if he didn’t. Only she wanted his love. Not just his affection or desire.
She pulled away and stood up. “You were right.”
He got to his feet. Placing his hand against the wall, he leaned down and pressed a long, biting kiss against her neck.
She shivered. “Reed…”
He placed his other hand on the wall beside her and bent to kiss her again.
She turned her head so that his mouth brushed her cheek instead of her lips. “Kissing when we’re alone isn’t a good idea.”
“But it feels so good,” he whispered, licking the side of her neck.
She pushed against his shoulders. “I think it’s time you left.”
He slipped his arm around her waist, touching his lips against her ear. “Have dinner with me first.”
“Where would that get us? You’ll go back to your one woman and I’ll be left with bittersweet memories that I don’t want or need.”
He sighed, releasing her. “I need a little time to end things with Taylor before I can see you, Annalise.”
“Fine, but you shouldn’t expect me to sit waiting to see how things turn out for you and her, Reed.”
“I know I haven’t been fair to either of you, Annalise, but I’ve been less fair to her because I lead her on. We discussed marriage and then I met you and…give me a little time.” He kissed her cheek and left.
She closed her eyes. She would not sit waiting for him.
“Daddy?”
Reed looked up from his evening paper. Ria stood in the living room doorway. He folded the paper and got up. “Why are you out of bed, sweetheart?”
She held up her arms and he picked her up. Moving back to his chair, he sat with her on his lap. “Couldn’t you sleep, sweetheart?”
“No. Why can’t we see Annie, Daddy? It’s been weeks and she still doesn’t come to see us. She calls when you’re at work, but she doesn’t come. I’m okay with that, but RP misses her something awful, Daddy.”
The wistfulness in her voice assured him that RP wasn’t the only one who missed Annalise. “Sweetie, she has her own life. We can’t expect her to give it up just for us. But you’ll get to see her. Auntie Deb is going to take you and R
P to Philly on Saturday to spend the day with her.”
“But we want to go with you, Daddy.”
He stroked a gentle finger down her cheek. “She doesn’t want to see me.”
“Why not? She used to like you. She used to smile when she saw you. And when you were sick she held your hand and sang to you until you felt better. And she said you were too gorgeous. Why doesn’t she like you anymore?”
It was more than a week since he’d gone to Annalise’s apartment, but he remembered that last scene as if it had happened last night.
He winced as he recalled the tears in her eyes. The pain in her voice when she told him she loved him. Most of all, every time he closed his eyes, he found himself reliving those kisses.
The improper desires he felt raging through him had and still did shock him. He had no business feeling like that. It was unchaste. Hadn’t Christ said that a man looking at a woman so as to desire her had already sinned in his heart?
“Daddy?”
Ria’s hand on his arm brought his thoughts back to her. “I’m sorry, sweetie. Annalise and I have decided it’s best if we don’t see each other for a while. I know that’s not what you want to hear.”
“Then why are you telling me that?”
“Because you’re old enough and intelligent enough to hear the truth. And that’s the way it is. She doesn’t want to see me right now.”
“Why?” Her blue eyes searched his. “What did you do to her? Did you make her cry again?”
He felt a hint of blood warming his face. “I didn’t do anything to her, Ria. We just can’t see each other for awhile.”
“Is it because she likes you so much and you don’t like her at all?”
“I do like her, Ria.”
Her blue eyes rounded with wonder. “You do? How much? More than you like Taylor? Oh, Daddy, have you finally seen the light? Are you—”
He pressed a finger against her lips to silence her. “I know how you feel about Annalise, sweetie, but if you want to see her, you’ll have to be satisfied with Deb taking you.”
“But me and RP was hoping you’d want to see Annie too. Don’t you miss her?”
The trouble was he did miss her. He wanted to see her. But not until he’d broken off completely with Taylor. And even then he didn’t know how much of a bargain he’d be to her.
“As a matter of fact, I do miss her. But I need you to understand something. I know you and RP really like Annalise and she really likes you.”
“She loves us, Daddy, and we love her.”
He stroked her hair. “I know, sweetie, but right now Taylor’s still in my life.”
“You’re not going to marry her, are you?”
She sounded so distressed that he hugged her. “You used to like Taylor, Ria.”
“That was before we knew how she was and before we met Annie. Annie’s the one we want, Daddy. She’s more like a mommy. Why can’t you like her instead of Taylor?”
“Sweetheart, I do like her, but I can’t see her while I’m seeing Taylor.”
“Then don’t see Taylor anymore, Daddy!”
“I can’t just tell her to stop coming round.”
“Why not? We don’t want her here, Daddy. We want Annie.”
He cupped Ria’s face in his hand. The unhappy look on her pretty face tugged at his heart. “I know, but that might not be possible.”
“Why not?”
Because Annalise had made it plain that she had no intentions of waiting for him. Yet, surely if she loved him half as much as she claimed, she would wait. “Sweetie, I need you to understand that’s how things are right now.”
She sighed and bit her lip. “All right, Daddy. But I’ll have to explain it to RP. He doesn’t understand how it is with men.”
He stared at her in amazement. “And just what do you understand about men that he doesn’t?”
Her eyes widened at the question. “They like pretty women even if they can’t do anything.”
He had a feeling he was going to regret it, but he had to ask. “What do you mean by that?”
“You know. They can’t cook or clean or take care of sick people or do anything useful.”
“Is... are you saying that Taylor is useless, Ria?”
“Well, Daddy, she can’t do anything useful. What do you think? Do you think she’s useless?”
“No, Maria, I don’t!”
“Then neither do I, Daddy,” she said sweetly and reached up to kiss his cheek.
He was shaken by the revelation of how close he’d come to marrying a woman Ria and RP thought so little of. “I need you to do something for me, Ria.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Be nice to Taylor the next time you see her.”
“But Daddy, it’s so hard to like her when all she wants to do is chase us away so she can kiss you like she’s married to you. And she—”
“Maria!”
“All right, Daddy. Me and RP will try, but we sure wish she were Annie.”
He pulled her close and kissed her hair. “I know, sweetie. I know. But she won’t be around for much longer.”
“You mean you’re not going to marry her after all?”
“No, I’m not, but she doesn’t know that yet. So for right now, it’ll be a secret between you, me, and RP.”
“Can I tell Annie?”
“No.”
“Well, what’s going to happen when Taylor’s finally gone? Are you going to see Annie?”
“Ria, I like Annalise an awful lot. More than any other woman since your mom, but I’m a lot older than she is. So we’ll have to see.”
“But Daddy, she won’t mind. I know she won’t.”
“One thing at a time, Ria. Taylor goes and then we’ll see.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
Long after he’d taken Ria back to bed, he sat in the living room with the Bible open in his lap. He felt the need for guidance. He glanced at the clock on the living room mantle over the fireplace. Nearly ten–thirty. Hopefully Jim Daily would still be up. He reached for the phone.
Chapter Eleven
The room had always seemed so warm and cozy with its dim lighting and overstuffed chairs during Reed’s prior visits. This time he felt tense.
“What’s troubling you, Reed? When we talked last night, you sounded a little upset,” John Daily said.
He nodded. “I’ve been thinking of remarrying.”
“Ah, yes. To Miss Dane?”
“Yes. No.”
“Oh?”
“Well, actually, I had intended to ask her to marry me...until August.”
“Usually the decision to remarry is a cause for joy, Reed.”
“I know. But I have a problem.”
“Ah. I see.”
He sounded as if he really did see. Reed looked up at him. “You do?”
“There’s another woman?”
“Yes.”
“Do you care for her?”
“Oh, yes.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Before I met her, I’d all but asked Taylor to marry me.”
“And now you find that you don’t love her?”
“Actually, I always knew that I didn’t love her. I mean I was fond of her. I am fond of her, but I don’t love her.”
“Then tell her the truth.”
“She says she’s in love with me. I want to let her down gently. I’ve already made a mess with...”
“The other woman?”
He nodded. “I’ve already hurt her. I’m trying to end it slowly with Taylor, but this other woman stirs improper desires.”
“Have you acted on those desires?”
The back of his neck burned. “I…there’s been some heated kisses and some…inappropriate caresses, but nothing else.” But only because she had stopped him.
“Did she accompany you to service in August?”
Had it been clear to Jim that he’d been desiring Annalise even while sitting through a sermon on the importance of leading
a chaste life?
“I saw right away that there was something…special between the two of you, Reed. Need that something be improper? Is she married?”
“No, but she’s so young. And Ria and RP need a full time mother to make up for first the loss of Maria, and now Miss Holland.”
“Is Miss Holland returning?”
“She called to tell me she’s no longer able to handle being a full–time caretaker. Ria and RP need some stability in their lives and I’m finding it very difficult to control my desire for physical intimacy.”
“Needs you want Miss Lewis to fill?”
It was thoughts of Annalise that kept him lying sleepless in bed at night. It was Annalise who’d cooked and cleaned for him and his when she should have been resting her hands. Annalise who’d brought him flowers. Annalise who’d sat by his bed when he was sick. And it was Annalise who looked at him with eyes overflowing with love. Annalise. Annalise. Annalise.
He stared at Jim in silent dismay.
“Perhaps you should be thinking of marriage to Miss Lewis? In addition to the spark I noted between you two, I saw a bond with Ria and RP too. I don’t recall noting such a bond with Ms. Dane.”
“I know she and the kids love each other and I...but I’m not sure I can marry her.”
“Why not?”
“She’s so...sweet and trusting. She has so much to give. What she needs is a man her own age who can give her anything she wants and needs from marriage. I…I can’t do that.”
“Do you plan to tell her?”
“Yes.” Once he was sure of her feelings for him.
He felt uncomfortable under Jim’s steady regard. Did his minister know of his plan?
“Honesty is always best, Reed. You have a lot to think about. Let’s help the process along by asking for God’s guidance.”
“Did you know that my Daddy’s not getting married to Taylor?”
Annalise paused in the act of lacing up her roller skates to give Ria a sidelong glance. Ria sat on her right side, lacing up her own skates. RP was already on the rink skating.
If Reed had decided not to marry Taylor, why hadn’t he been in touch? Unless he’d decided he didn’t want either of them. Maybe he’d decided he would be better without a woman who didn’t love his kids and one who stirred improper desires.
