by Amy Marie
I want him here. I want him here more than anything, and it terrifies me to death. I can’t imagine what people would think should anything ever happen between Henry and I. How long do you wait after your husband dies to move on? I don’t think anyone knows the answer, but I’ve realized I can’t be alone for the rest of my life. I’m twenty-eight. It would be a life of misery, but is Henry the answer?
And what happens if the lump turns out to be cancer? What am I going to do?
I shake my head. I can’t think that way. I have to be strong for us all. That’s what I told Jeremy when we found out he had cancer; it’s what I’m telling myself.
“Faith.” Natalie’s voice breaks up my negative thoughts. “Earth to Faith.”
When I refocus, I find her hand waving in front of me, and as soon as she realizes she has my attention, she sits her petite body down in the wicker chair across from me. The waiter gets to her before I can respond.
After ordering a margarita, she sets her blue eyes on me while attempting to push a lock of her short blonde hair behind one ear. “So…”
I take a sip of my drink, letting the cool liquid soothe me. “So?”
Natalie huffs as she falls to the back of her seat. “Don’t play dumb with me. I called you the other night, and Henry was over.”
My shoulders come up in a shrug. “And…?”
The waiter drops her drink off, and she slowly takes a sip before inquiring, “And, did you jump him?”
I immediately shush her while looking around the patio. We live in a small town, and everyone knows everything and everybody. And my best friend has a big old mouth, which is why I didn’t want to tell her in the first place. It’s also why I decided not to inform her about the lump. While Henry will respect me and keep it quiet, Natalie would tell the whole damn world. After that, I’d have more help at my house and more noses in my business than I do now.
“Keep it down, Nat,” I scold her like she is one of my girls.
Her head falls back as she laughs. “I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not. Did you or did you not lock that down?”
Uncomfortable talking about this, I cross one leg over the other and look around before answering, “No, I didn’t. Chelsea got sick, and anyway, it’ll never happen.”
Natalie nods her head in what seems to be understanding, but I can tell she’s getting ready for her attack. It in the glimmer I notice in her eyes. “Because he hates the girls.”
“What?” I almost yell. “No! He loves them.” Even being ready for it, understanding she is bating me, I go on the defense.
“Ah, ok.” Natalie sips her drink, appearing more innocent than she is. “Because he treats you badly.”
I narrow my eyes, glaring at her. “I know what you’re doing, Natalie.”
She shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Leaning in really close, I lower my voice so that only she can hear. “Listen. Henry is a great guy. He loves me, loves the girls, is successful, good-looking, and an all-around great guy. I just don’t think it’s right. It feels like it should be wrong.”
“But does it?” she asks. “Feel wrong, I mean. Does wanting him feel wrong?”
My eyes close, allowing the heat of the sun to bathe me in warmth. I think about Jeremy and how he told me to live my life and find love again. But would he be upset it’s with Henry? I wish I knew, but my feelings for Henry feel far from wrong. “No, it feels all too right.”
Natalie’s hand slapping the table startles me. “See then. Go for it.”
I shake my head while staring down at my lap. “I just don’t know.”
“Faith, look at me,” she commands. When I do, she continues, “You told me Jeremy wanted you to find someone else. Someone to care for his girls. Maybe he didn’t think Henry would be the one, but I know for a fact Jeremy loved and trusted Henry. Don’t you think Jeremy would rather it be Henry than some random guy? Someone he didn’t know? I think Jeremy would be thrilled that if it worked out between the two of you, Henry would be taking care of all three of his girls for the rest of their lives.”
For the rest of their lives.
That last sentence brings immediate tears to my eyes. What if I don’t have a long time before the rest of my life is over. The constant worrying about it consumes my days and nights.
Natalie gets out of her seat and wraps her arms around me. “I love you, Faith. You need to be happy. So, do what makes you happy.”
“I’ll try.” I sniffle. “I promise.”
Squeezing me tighter, she says, “That’s all I ask.”
Lucky me. Jeremy’s mom called about halfway through my and Natalie’s dinner and asked to keep the girls overnight. Seeing an opportunity for a hot bath and book before crashing, I took her up on the offer.
The house is eerily quiet when I walk in. The hallway light illuminates the stairs, and like a beacon, I ascend them, moving toward my bedroom. Turning each light on as I go, I make it into the bathroom and begin a bath, tossing some bubbles in before brushing my teeth.
Turning on the sink and running the water over my toothbrush, I feel it before I hear it. A gush of water bursting out from underneath my sink, blowing the cabinet door open, essentially soaking me from head to toe. I race down the stairs to the laundry closet and shut the water off to the house.
My chest heaves up and down with exhaustion and adrenaline as I run back upstairs, finding a burst pipe underneath the sink. I slink to the floor to process what just happened and how to fix it. Jeremy usually dealt with this stuff. I don’t know what to do.
“I’m so sorry to call you this late. I tried calling our home warranty company first, but they said they can’t get anyone out here until Monday.” I sigh heavily, opening the door.
Henry walks in, dressed black slacks and a blue dress shirt adorned with a tie. He kisses me on the forehead. “You don’t need to apologize.”
Brushing past me, he goes straight up the stairs, toolbox in hand, to my bedroom, and into my bathroom. I think this is the first time he’s been in here since Jeremy passed. I lean against the doorway and watch as he bends down and peers into the cabinet. After a moment, he stands and gazes at me. “This is actually an easy fix.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, I drop my tense shoulders. “Thank God. I thought I was going to have to go and stay at Mom and Pop Jensen’s until it was fixed. I did shut off the water, though.” He doesn’t respond but continues to stare. I cross my arms over my stomach. “What?”
His eyes drift up to meet mine. “You should go change.” He croaks.
Glancing down, I find my soaked white top is now see-through, showing off my lace bra underneath. I hadn’t thought to change while I was cleaning the water up from the floor. I take in his clothes, too, and it dawns on me how dressed up he is. “Were you on a date?”
“No,” he rasps.
“Good.” I begin leave him to go change, but he calls my name, stopping me in my tracks. When I spin back around, I find he’s stepped closer to me. “Yes?”
“Good because you didn’t bother me, or good because you would be jealous?”
My hand comes up, hitting him lightly on the chest, and he snatches my wrist in a gentle hold. We simply stare at one another. He’s waiting for the answer to a question I don’t quite know how to respond to.
“Faith,” he whispers, “Answer me.”
His breath moves across my face, and I push one word out. A word that can showcase the feelings that have been growing for him these last few months. “Both,” I answer, my nipples prickling from the cold and his touch. This feels intimate, and I realize what is about to happen will change everything, but I can’t stop it. I can’t think anymore.
Letting go of my hand, he drops his own to the bottom of my wet shirt. “Is it me?” he asks as his thumbs caress my stomach. “Am I the guy?”
I can’t look away. He has a hold on me, and at this moment, underneath his fingertips, I don’t feel like a widow. I don’t feel like
a mom. I feel like a woman who is desired. Peering down, I can see how much he wants me. His erection is straining against the soft material of his pants. “So, you weren’t on a date?”
“No.” His hands grip my waist tightly, sending electricity through my body. “Potential client meeting earlier. Now, your turn. Is it me?”
His hands are cupping my jaw, his lips inching closer to mine, and I finally admit out loud, “Yes, it’s you.”
The anticipation I experienced waiting for him to crash our lips together is only one-upped by the slow descent of his colliding with mine. They place gentle, subtle kisses along my lips, and my hands involuntarily grip his waist, holding on for dear life because this…this is way more intense than I ever thought possible. His tongue peeks out, breaking the barrier of my own, invading my mouth, and I open up to him, my head falling back, allowing him to lead. The kiss is like nothing I’ve ever had and everything I’ve always wished for. It brings every emotion to the surface. Longing. Lust. Trust. Need. Desire. Henry deepens it, pushing me against the wall. His fingers find the bottom of my shirt, and just before he lifts it, giving me exactly what I want, he stops.
“Are the girls asleep?” he quietly inquires, hope evident in his eyes, and he is breathing hard.
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “They’re at the Jensen’s.”
“I have a confession, Faith,” he speaks softly, lowering himself to his knees, before raising my shirt enough to expose my stomach.
My head falls back, banging against the wall, and I close my eyes. “What’s that?”
“I’ve wanted you, too.” His breath blows across my bare skin, sending shivers throughout my body. “Please tell me this is okay. Tell me you want this.”
“It’s wrong,” I protest but do nothing to stop it.
“It feels right, Faith.” He kisses my stomach. “Let me show you how right it is.” Another kiss. “Show you how good it can be.”
My hands reach down between us, and I grip the wet material of my shirt and yank it over my head. My wants and desires cloud all reason. “Okay.”
I hear Henry groan before his lips press against my stomach again. My fingers tighten the grip I have on his hair. This feels amazing. It’s been more than two years since I have been touched by a man, and at this moment, I don’t care what I look or feel like because Henry makes me feel beautiful. Every caress of his lips on my bare skin sends waves of pleasure through me.
Standing up, he leads me toward the bed, kissing me the whole way there until the back of my knees hit the mattress. I break the kiss and begin to loosen his tie, pulling it up and over his head. He leans in, dragging the strap of my bra down my left shoulder before placing soft, wet kisses onto my collarbone. Craning my neck to the side, giving him better access, I unbutton his shirt and push it down and off of his arms.
“Your skin is like satin, Faith,” he whispers over my body, reaching back and unsnapping my bra. I let it drop the floor and watch as he steps back and takes me in. “This doesn’t feel real. Tell me it is.”
Jerking his white undershirt up and over his body, I lean in, my breasts pressing against his bare chest, and rise up on the tips of my toes. My lips meet his, and I speak against his mouth, “This is real.”
Deciding to let all of my insecurities go, I allow us to fall onto my bed and snake our way up to the pillows. He takes his time, kissing me passionately, not rushing to rid me of the rest of my clothes. His lips explore lower, and the little chaste kisses along my neck, elicit a moan from me. Lower and lower he goes until his mouth hovers over my right breast.
“Which one is it, Faith?” he questions, his voice growly.
I peer down, confused about what he is asking. His eyes meet mine. “What do you mean?”
“Which breast did you find the lump in?”
Swallowing hard, I point to my right. Not overthinking it, he leans down and takes my right nipple into his mouth. It hardens underneath his tongue, and his hands cup my breast needing it. His teeth nip at my peak before moving to my left, giving it the same attention.
The friction of our clothes can no longer contain us. Henry sits back and unbuttons his pants as he watches me do the same. Wiggling out of them, I hesitate before dragging my panties off.
I’ve never been with another man. Jeremy was my first. My nerves begin to run rampant, but the moment Henry’s hands cover mine and help me slide them over my hips, all hesitation slips away.
I’m lying there, bare to him, under his perusal. He makes no move to cover me up, just stares at my vulnerability.
“You’re so beautiful, Faith.” He adjusts, moving toward me, laying his dick between my folds. The one I didn’t get a chance to look at because I was too busy feeling self-conscious. “Inside and out. The most gorgeous woman I’ve ever had the chance to get to know.”
Swallowing down my tears, I clutch his jaw and crash our mouths together. I can’t take it anymore. His words. His body. His most intimate parts rubbing against mine. If I’m not careful, I could orgasm just from his dick rubbing on me.
“Are you okay, Faith?” he asks, pulling away from the kiss. “I want you to be alright.”
I nod, giving him the go-ahead needed before he lines himself up to my entrance. I’m anxious, wondering if it will hurt. It’s been so long. So very long. But I have nothing to worry about. I’m so wet, he slips in easily, filling me completely.
His arms brace themselves on either side of my head. His slow thrusts are rubbing me in all of the right places. My legs widen to accommodate his large stature while his lips descend upon mine once again.
I’ve dreamt about this moment. A few times, Henry has starred in my nighttime fantasies, and it has never been like this. It’s been rough, quick, easy. This is so different and so much better. His entire body is caressing mine. His cock hitting every sensation inside of me. I can’t keep myself quiet. It’s building up too fast. It’s too much. My chest begins to constrict, and I use my palms to push on his chest. Henry lifts up enough to allow me to breathe.
His brows furrow with worry. “What’s wrong?”
My hands come up, grabbing my hair in frustration. “I just…I couldn’t breathe for a moment.”
He nods, glancing down to where we’re connected. His abs ripple, and I can see beads of sweat forming on his forehead. “Do you want to stop?”
I think about it for a moment. Do I want him to stop? God, no!
I shake my head. “No, keep going.”
He smiles, the kind that I adore, and slowly thrusts back into me. He keeps his body up and off of me with straightened arms, and the new position causes an intense feeling. I can’t get ahold of it. My orgasm is building, and with each push into me, I get closer and closer to something I know will change me. I can see Henry is restraining himself and feel his cock begin to swell inside of me.
“Faster,” I beg him, knowing it’s what we both need.
His words come out in a rush, “If I go faster, I’ll come.”
Grabbing his hips, I squeeze tight. “If you go faster, I will, too.”
I don’t have to tell him twice. Henry’s body gears up, and he begins to move his hips at a rapid pace. The bed starts to shake, the headboard beating against my wall. I can feel my breasts bouncing up and down, and my legs come up and around his waist, locking him in place.
“Damn it, Faith,” he grunts. “You feel so amazing. I’m never going to be the same.”
I can feel that, too. Every second Henry is inside of me, I can sense how different things are going to be. We can never go back, and right now, I couldn’t care less about the consequences. Right now, I feel loved and adored and wanton. I already know I’ll want it again immediately after. What I don’t know is if it’s because it’s been a long time or if it’s because this is Henry.
As our bodies glisten with the sweat of our lovemaking, the coil of pleasure builds. “I’m close,” I call out, digging my hands into his torso. “So close.”
“Me too. God,
me too.” He leans down, chest to chest, continuing his assault on me. “I want you to come, Faith. I need that from you more than I need air.”
His words light me on fire, and the friction sends a shockwave through my whole body. I scream out in pleasure as my orgasm rises to the surface and crashes over me like a tsunami. It’s drawn out as Henry slows down and gives me wave after wave of pleasure. Each thrust hitting just the right spot, and before I know what’s happening, he reaches down between us and rubs my clit while continuing to pulse into me. It’s only a moment before my second orgasm takes me by surprise, and I’m screaming much louder than the first time. Henry follows along, yelling out my name like a curse and a prayer all in one.
When we come down from the high, he slips out of me and lays to my left, pulling me into him. He caresses my naked form until we both fall into the first peaceful night’s sleep I’ve had in close to three years.
Chapter 4
Waking up the next morning, I groan against the soreness from the previous night. Henry is awake, and I can hear him chuckle. Flipping over, I pull the covers over my bare breasts. “Why are you laughing?”
He leans up on his elbow and kisses my lips quickly. “Are you sore?”
I bite my lip, thinking about last night, and then around three o’clock in the morning when he woke me up again. “I might be.”
He climbs up and over me, pushing his hips between my covered legs. “Do you want a massage?”
My body begins to tingle, and I’d love nothing more than another round, but I’m just too sore. “I’d actually love that.”
“Turn over,” he commands, allowing me just enough room to comply.
