Trickster Noir (Pixie for Hire Book 2)

by Cedar Sanderson

  Down the rest of the stairs, and out the back door, she looked around the parking lot. Dean was leaning against the wall near the front door, and he straightened. “Your cousins wanted to have lunch with you before we headed out. I returned the car, so we can head out from the restaurant.”

  “Ah. Ok...” she looked and saw Dan in the van. “Meet you there, then? I don’t think he’ll give you the keys.”

  Dean laughed. “I know where to go, see you there.”

  After lunch and bidding her cousins goodbye, Bella stood in front of the store where she had had them drop her. Dean came sauntering around the corner.

  “You really didn’t have to come along on this trip,” she informed him.

  “I’m not to leave you alone. So suck it up, Princess, and let’s get this done.”

  Bella sighed. “I hate shopping, ordinarily, but knowing I’m torturing you somehow makes it sweeter.”

  Dean was still chuckling when they walked into the department store. “You’re... all right, Bella. I didn’t expect to enjoy this much, but fighting ogres was easier than this part of the mission.”

  She bought jeans and t-shirts, mostly, neither of which she had seen Underhill at all. “Weird question for you,” she finally got around to asking Dean. “When I go Underhill, do my clothes magically shrink with me? I know that I tore a shirt with my wings the first time, not much, but it was no fun to figure out how to get it off.”

  He blinked. “You don’t shrink, Bella.”

  She stopped dead, still holding the soft kitty, warm kitty shirt. “But Lom is shorter than I am, above.”

  “Yeah, it’s a pixie thing. He’s freaky tall normally, but above the rules are different. I don’t know about wings, not a guy problem.”

  “What is it about that, too?” She dropped the shirt in the basket. It was cute, and Dorothy might like it. This was also a gift trip. Souvenirs! She chuckled at the look on Dean’s face.

  “If you’d rather not have this conversation...”

  “Nah, just didn’t realize how little you knew. Explains a lot, really. You are... very different.”

  “Earth girls aren’t easy.” She winked at him.

  “Wings... males only bring them out when needed. And yeah, a spell adapts clothing around them. So you probably need to figure that out.”

  “Can you show me? I can usually see the structure of a spell by looking at it and reverse-engineer it.”

  He stopped dead and looked around. The store wasn’t busy, and they were talking quietly. “Bella... don’t say that, Underhill.”

  “What?” She blinked in surprise. “That I can see a spell?”

  “We can all do that. But the ability to discern structure and create it... that’s not a common talent.” He cupped his hands. “Here.”

  She peered into the faint glow of the spell he was making. “Oh, thank you.”

  He put it away, and she cupped her hands. “This?”

  Dean looked carefully. “Damn, girl,” She had shocked him into betraying his surprise.

  “So I don’t shrink, and that keeps me from ruining shirts. Cool, and weird. I like Lom taller than me, you know? And that explains why he doesn’t have little-man syndrome.

  Dean snorted. “Oh, he has his issues. But no, that’s not one of them.”

  Bella sighed. “Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing, but it feels right. Only I don’t want to be Queen. That’s too much.”

  He nodded, his face back to the serious expression he normally wore. “You’ll do a good job, but you’re right, it won’t be easy.”

  She snorted with laughter. “Oh, you’re no help at all. C’mon, I’m done, and ready to go home.”

  He followed her silently while they checked out, and she looked at him once they were back outside. “Now what?”

  “Follow me,” He ducked around the building, and led her to the abandoned loading dock. “You up to transport to the door?”

  “The one I know?” she remembered his offer to show her others.

  “Oh, that’s right.” He rubbed his chin. “I’ll show you the one for Seattle.”

  “Are there many?” Bella asked as he bubbled them. No one was around to see two people suddenly vanish in the pop of a soap bubble from the trashy concrete pad.

  “Not many. Underhill doesn’t want to be found, and there are rare humans who can see the doors. Which is why most of them are in places people don’t go. Makes it less convenient when you are traveling, but Underhill doesn’t like traveling, either.”

  “I had gathered that.”

  He dropped the bubble, and she looked around. They were in a deep forest, not too far from the coast, she could smell the sea. She closed her eyes, inhaled, and used the Sight. The door was there, she turned toward it, seeing that it was narrow and shimmered like the Northern Lights. She opened her eyes slowly. Dean was watching her.

  “You know it again?” he asked.

  Bella nodded. “Thanks, Dean.”

  “I’ll show you more another time, I know you are anxious to get back.”

  “Yeah. And it’s good to know you are still willing to work with me.” Now it was her turn to wink at him as she walked forward and stepped through the door.

  Bella felt her usual slight disorientation, with the taste hallucinations, and then the fierce itching as her wings erupted. Dean’s spell for her clothes worked much better than her previous adaptation had. She flexed her shoulders and fluttered a little. “Much better, thanks!”

  “Glad it worked.” He was right behind her.

  Bella looked around. They had landed in a part of Underhill she wasn’t familiar with. “Where are we?”

  “Good question, how much Underhill geography do you know?”

  Bella pulled the library up in her mind. There were volumes of maps. “Um, some...” she admitted.

  “The Plains of Salisbury. Stonehenge, well, the other half of it, anyway, is over there,” he gestured to their left.

  She found it on a map. “Where is Lom’s house? Or, rather, what is that called?”

  “He built on the fringes of Elleria Tor, his home county. Which is his land again.”

  Bella pulled a face. She really wasn’t looking forward to being a Duchess any more than she was a Queen. Now she saw the location in her head on the maps too.

  “I’m going home. Are you coming to see Lom?” She looked over the rippling grass, knowing she wanted to come back and see Stonehenge sometime.

  “No, I’ll come along in a day or two. You go see your man.” He laughed. “Tell him to get a bottle of the good stuff out.”

  He vanished in an iridescent bubble. She pulled her own bubble up and went home.

  Rest and Recuperation

  I kicked everyone out of the room as soon as I could walk across it on my own without falling on my nose. I was sick of having no privacy and insisted that I would live, but they must knock before barging in. I couldn’t think, with all the coming and going, and someone talking to me every second I was awake. I was sleeping a lot, but not as much as I had been. It felt good to finally regain some control, over my body and my life.

  I also needed to do some reading. I had leapt before I looked, and it was time to figure out what I had jumped into when I reclaimed the dukeship. There was only so much time before that duty settled on my shoulders like the weight of the world.

  I really wasn’t looking forward to it, but it had been the only way I could think of to protect Bella. And making my mother, Margot, Alger, and Devon back into what they should be. Which was the answer. I scrounged up paper and a pen. What I couldn’t find was ink. Why had ballpoint pens never caught on Underhill? Sitting at the desk with my back to the door, I was debating going to holler for Ellie, which I hated doing. She wasn’t a servant to be yelled at, and I couldn’t send messages properly anymore...

  The knock at the door was a relief.

  “Ellie! Where do we keep ink?” I turned around.

  Bella stood in the doorway, smiling. I sto
od up slowly, willing my legs to hold up, and she came to my arms.

  “You’re so thin still.” She murmured into my chest.

  “It’s only been a few days.” I pointed out. “I’m just glad I can get around on my own now.”

  She looked up at me, her eyes moist. “I was worried about you.”

  “I’m too stubborn to go that easy.” All thoughts of dying were flying away. I wanted this, wanted her, and the love she offered me.

  She gave me a gentle squeeze and let go. “You needed ink?”

  I sat back down. I still wasn’t up to standing for long periods, walking was easier for some reason. “I was trying to collect my thoughts, and I’m too used to magic for whatever I want or need.”

  She nodded. “I was thinking about that, above. And I just don’t know enough... I have been flying by the seat of my pants, and I’m afraid I’m going to get someone killed, Lom.”

  She sat down on the rug at my feet and leaned her head on my knees. I put my hand on her hair and tried to think pure thoughts. It wasn’t time yet for more than snuggling and caresses.

  “What happened? Did anyone get killed or hurt?” I would have heard, I thought, but...

  “No, everyone is fine. We cleaned the ogre’s nest out and the Sasquatch are making it look like the whole thing never happened.”

  “Sasquatch? You met bigfoot?” I couldn’t help it, I started to laugh. She looked up at me, smiling again.

  “I don’t think they like outsiders much, but they appreciated getting rid of the ogres. Yes, I met bigfoot, his name is Gary and he speaks excellent English.”

  I shook my head, grinning like a fool. “Don’t worry so much, Bella, you learned, yes?”

  “Yes, so much... speaking of that ink, I need to write it all down before I forget.”

  “Good idea,” I agreed. “An after action report while it’s still fresh in your mind, and documentation for the Council.”

  She made a face. “I don’t want to think about them right now. I promised myself a day with you.”

  Bella tipped her head back and looked me square in the face. “How are you doing with magic?”

  “Much better. Melcar’s started treating me, and you might as well try.”

  She stood up and gestured at the table. A tray with ink, paper, and pens appeared. I didn’t even feel it, and relaxed with a small sigh I hadn’t realized I’d been holding in. She brought me a bottle of ink. “We can work together.”

  It was very nice, sitting there in quiet communion, both of us writing silently. I just wished it would last. There was a knock at the door. Bella looked at me, and I could tell what she was thinking. There went our quiet time.

  “Come in,” I called after a long pause.

  Mother swept in, Margot on the tail of her skirts. I would have rather seen a man with a gun, it would have been less frightening. I put my pen down. I need to concentrate if I was going to make it through the next hour alive.

  I was wrong. It was three hours. I was swaying in my seat by the time Bella saw my condition and stood up. She had been taking notes on everything, much to my gratitude, because I knew I would never remember all the parties and polities we were to attend, woo, and win. Bella held up a hand, stopping my mother in mid-flow.

  “Lucia, look at Lom.” she ordered.

  I half-turned in my chair and held onto the back of it as I stood. “I want you to go to the Tor, and set things in order there, along with Margot. Devon is going to be my secretary, I will need him here, and when anyone wants to talk to me, they must go through him. If you want to talk to me, go through Ellie, who is, as of now, in charge of both households. I love you both, but I must admit I’m not ready to be Duke in anything but name right now.”

  Bella came to my side and took my arm, letting me take the lead while supporting a lot of my weight. I walked toward the door. “I expect daily reports. Not hourly, Margot.”

  Mother and Margot, looking equal parts mutinous and elated, went to the door. Mother kissed my cheek, her floral scent subtle enough to only be evident that close. Her lips were dry and papery. I suddenly wondered if she was too old for the task I had set her.

  “Mother...” I started.

  She patted my cheek. “You have given me a new lease on life, my dear boy. Too many years with no reason for living were making me into a bitter hag. Now...” she straightened. “I was a girl, but I remember how it was, and I know how lawless our lands have become. It is good, to have a leader, and that is what you are. Whether you like it or not.”

  She swept out into the hall, and Margot kissed my cheek. “Gee, Lom, don’t look so surprised. She hasn’t had anything like this to worry about since the Queen started failing. And you will be a good Duke - one that doesn’t have his fingers in every pie.”

  I rolled my eyes at her, and she left, giggling. I sagged into Bella, feeling the effort of having stood for so long.

  “Couch, or bed?” She asked gently.

  I eyed the bed with revulsion. I had been avoiding it since I was able to get out of it again. “Couch, please.”

  She helped me get settled, my legs stretched out. “How are you going to manage parties, Lom?”

  “Not going to just yet. You’ll have to go alone at first. I’m sorry. Although...” I could feel my mental gears engage. “How did you and Dean get along? It would be double duty, bodyguard and escort.”

  “Lom.” Bella lifted my feet onto her lap so she could sit on the short couch. “I need to talk to you about Dean.”

  I was surprised about her sudden seriousness. She had said the mission was successful, what now? “Did he... make a move at you?” More improbable things have happened.

  She shook her head, and spoke slowly, her tone worried, “Did you know that he reports back to the king? And he knows things that I thought only Alger and I knew, well, my cousins, but... no one else Underhill.”

  “Of course.” I chuckled at the look on her face. “I’ve known it from the beginning, and we’ve talked about it many times. He took back, ah... sanitized reports. But not too much, to appear my partisan.”

  She leaned back and put a hand to her face. “Oh, I gave him such a hard time. I had no idea... I thought he was a traitor. He knew things only the king, or Alger knew.”

  I laughed until I had to stop and get my breath back. “He didn’t defend himself a bit, did he?”

  “Well, we wound up working well together. But it took me a while to trust him.” She put her hands down again.

  “Good for you,” I praised her.

  She looked startled. “What?”

  “Don’t trust too easily. At a guess, that’s why Dean didn’t tell you.” I sobered. “You’re going to have a lot of people trying to weasel their way into your good graces, and you are a very nice person, Bella, maybe too nice.”

  She stuck her tongue out at me. “I’ll take cynic lessons from you, then. And Dean.” She rubbed my feet. “How did you meet him, anyway? Not that the two of you aren’t a match made in heaven.”

  “We were both apprenticed to Alger.” I closed my eyes, thinking back. “Then, when I was hunted down by the Wild Hunt, and the elfshot took me out of the apprenticeship, he went on for a while before becoming a journeyman. We were young together, we did things, covered each other’s backs.” I leaned forward and took her hand. “I trust him. That makes two people in the world I trust.”

  “Camaraderie. And he wound up reporting on you?”

  “We staged a big fight. And we growl at one another in public to this day.”

  She laughed. “All right, then, I will accept his escort. I’m sure he’ll flirt outrageously and we’ll both enjoy that, at least.”

  “You do know you have nothing to worry about?” I hinted delicately.

  Between giggles, she told me “Oh, I know. If he were any more... He’d be alight!”

  “Well, that gets me out of parties for a while, at least.” I leaned back and wiggled my toes. It felt really good to have her here, cons
piring with me and laughing.

  I closed my eyes, and she fell silent, her presence helping me sleep. It was good to start getting back to normal. I didn’t expect it to last, of course. I felt her get up, and put a blanket over me, her lips pressed to my forehead.

  “I’ll be right here,” she murmured.

  I let the sleep overtake me. After that session with my family I needed it. I did feel like I’d started something in motion, now to figure out the next step. Mother would want a big wedding. I wondered if Bella did...

  When I awakened it was to the smells of food. Bella was setting the table for two. I watched her for a moment, savoring the sight of domesticity. “It’s still today?” I asked finally.

  She smiled, “You were only asleep for a couple hours. I was going to wake you, so you could eat, and start getting back onto a normal sleep schedule. I’m afraid I’m going to be a terrible task-master, going forward.”

  “Yes, boss.” I sat up slowly. It didn’t hurt, which was a nice change. Melcar’s work was helping a lot.

  “I have an appointment to present my after action appointment to the Council in the morning. Any advice?”

  I sat down at the table and looked at her sitting opposite. “Don’t blink?”

  “What? And eat, you are too skinny.”

  I laughed. “You sound like my mother ought to, only she never did.” I took a bite, and when that was swallowed, went on, “Seriously, don’t let them see you as weak. Just give them the facts and get out. Worked for me.”

  I couldn’t remember how many times I had stood in that room facing the U of tables, speaking as briefly as I could, then turning my back on them for a bow to my King, and a quick exit. It hadn’t been after every mission, only the important ones, or anything they deemed sensitive. Only my last one, the retrieval of Belladonna Traycroft, had never happened, with all the other events that fell on the heels of that success.

  Buckingham, the old bastard, had the glare down pat, but he was too careful of his reputation to say anything in chambers. He would be working in the background, pouring poison in the ears of those who would listen, knowing that what he said would work through all the others as they met at parties, soirees, and private dinners. Speaking of those, we would have to begin them as well. Must play the game... I sighed, and ate more. Mother would know what was to be done. I didn’t want them in this house, and the Manor had been falling into disrepair for longer than my lifetime.