Now You See Her

by Heidi Perks

  ‘Alice!’ I called out again, trying to pull away from Brian whose hold remained resolutely tight on my arm. I turned to tell him to get off me, noticing the way Brian glared at my father. He wasn’t even looking in our daughter’s direction.

  ‘Mummy!’ a voice came from behind me and, when I looked back, Alice was sat upright and pushing herself to her feet.

  ‘Alice, oh my baby.’ I held out my arm as far as I could reach but already Brian had pulled me back again, sidestepping around me, until he was between me and my dad and my little girl who was now carefully picking her way over the rocks towards us.

  ‘Let me get to her,’ I cried, but Brian wouldn’t budge.

  I watched her finding her footing in bright-pink wellington boots that I’d never seen before. In my desperation to touch her and hold on to her I tried to wrench away from Brian but lost my footing and stumbled.

  ‘Mummy!’ she called out again, panic rising in her voice.

  ‘I’m OK,’ I called back. ‘Mummy’s OK.’ I was but the searing pain shot through my wrist once more.

  I needed to hug her, tell her I would never leave her again, but I also knew there was no way Brian would let me get to her right now, and I had to go carefully. He held too many cards in his hand and could still make sure I lost everything.

  Beside him my dad glanced nervously between me and Brian. He was rooted rigidly to the spot. Brian began edging towards him. Still he didn’t look at Alice.

  ‘Dad, you should go,’ I said.

  But my father didn’t move. ‘He was here all night,’ he said again. ‘Just watching.’ He sucked in a breath and held it tightly.

  ‘Please,’ I urged. ‘Just go.’ He was never going to win any fight with Brian, who continued to stare coldly at my dad.

  When Dad eventually took a step back he said to me, ‘I meant what I said, Harriet. My one condition – you remember that, don’t you?’

  I nodded, praying he’d walk away, when his footing faltered on the rocks and I saw a flash of the fragile, old man he’d become since I’d last seen him. My heart fractured at the sight of him trying to stop himself from falling over. Automatically I held out my free hand to steady him but, before I could reach, Brian pushed me back and lurched towards my father.

  I stumbled back on the rocks again. Alice’s cries filled the cold air. Brian continued to ignore his daughter as he grabbed for my dad, clasping his hands around his neck.

  ‘No!’ I cried out as Alice screamed louder. ‘Let go of him, Brian.’

  But Brian wasn’t listening. Amid Alice’s screams and my own yelling I couldn’t tell if Brian was saying anything to him or not as he shoved him backwards. All I could see was the terror in my dad’s eyes as Brian lunged for him and propelled him to the rocks.

  ‘Leave him alone,’ I cried. ‘This isn’t his fault. Please. He’s an old man, Brian.’

  My dad steadied himself but Brian held out a hand to block me from getting to him or Alice. I was helpless as I watched my father place his hands carefully in front of him, trying to get back up. Alice stood shaking and crying, ‘Mummy, make him stop.’

  But Brian wouldn’t stop. I knew that. His back formed a solid wall between us and he had shut us all out.

  Slowly my dad pushed himself unsteadily on to his knees and eventually to his feet, holding his hands up in surrender as he struggled to catch his breath.

  ‘Brian!’ I begged. ‘Please don’t do anything to hurt him.’ I tried pulling Brian away but he thrust his arm backwards and pounced once more, catching my dad off guard as he sank his thumbs into my father’s neck.

  Horrified, I watched the fear in my father’s glassy eyes and the skin on his thin neck rippling around Brian’s fingers where they dug into his throat. ‘Don’t do anything stupid,’ I sobbed. ‘Please. We can all just go home.’

  ‘You must know that can never happen now,’ Brian roared, and with one last push he flung my dad to the rocks with such force that I heard the back of his head crack.

  There was a moment of pure silence before the air was filled with screams. By then I could no longer tell whose they were: mine, Alice’s – they blended together and rose deafeningly above us.

  There was no sound from my dad who lay motionless as Brian swiftly turned away from him and back to me. His breaths were deep and quick, his eyes so dark they were almost black. Every muscle in his body was tight and I knew he was still ready for a fight. I could see how much he wanted to hurt me for what I had done.

  Alice had now lulled into a whimper. I too had stopped shouting and the beach was eerily silent once more except for the rhythmic lap of the waves as they hit the rocks.

  Brian’s eyes didn’t leave me. They devoured me, absorbed me. I could see his mind working overtime, wondering how he had lost me and what he would do about it. Then he seized hold of my injured arm and began dragging me towards the jetty. I called to him to stop. I reached for Alice as he swept me past her but I couldn’t touch her.

  ‘Brian, what are you doing?’ I looked back at my little girl, her lips quivering in fright as she stood frozen to the spot.

  He ignored me as he continued to push me towards the boat, though he paused when he reached it and I caught his flicker of indecision. Surely he wasn’t planning on getting in? What could be going through his mind to make him put his greatest fear to one side? It was a terrifying thought.

  ‘Brian, stop this,’ I said urgently. ‘We can’t leave Alice. You don’t want to get in that boat.’

  But Brian knew he had lost control and somehow he needed to claw it back, even if he wasn’t sure how. He shoved me into the bottom of the boat. ‘Alice will be fine,’ he muttered.

  I scrabbled to get back out but Brian pushed me into the corner. ‘We can’t leave her here,’ I cried. ‘And my dad needs help. Brian, you’ve got to stop.’ My father lay motionless on the rocks. Alice had inched towards him.

  ‘Brian, stop!’ I tried hauling myself up, grabbing on to his shirt, gripping handfuls of the cotton and crumpling it into balls.

  He ripped his shirt away from me and with one hand untied the rope that held the boat to the jetty then turned on the engine, which burred into action. Winded, I pulled myself up and lurched towards the side of the boat but now he had hold of my ankles and, as much as I tried to lever myself forward, his strength overpowered me.

  Slowly we started to move away from the rocks. Alice’s arms hung limply by her sides, her little pink boots pointing inwards, her mouth open wide – and in that moment I had never hated him more. Never before had I such an intense desire to hurt my husband.

  With everything I had in me I prepared to swing round and push Brian away, when I saw a figure running down the slipway. Briefly halted in my tracks I watched the figure running closer until I could make out the long grey cardigan and the skinny jeans, the ponytail swishing behind.

  Charlotte?

  My breath caught in my throat, relief washing over me as the woman I now knew must be Charlotte turned in Alice’s direction. My hesitation meant we were drifting further away from the shore. If she was calling out I couldn’t hear her, yet Alice must have because she’d looked away from the boat and had started carefully climbing towards her.

  I pressed a hand over my mouth to stifle my sobs. At least my daughter was safe. And they’d call an ambulance for my dad, who as far as I could tell was still not moving.

  Brian’s hold on my ankles loosened. I glanced behind me and watched him staring out towards the horizon, presumably unknowing that Charlotte was there. If I acted quickly I could escape his grip and jump out and swim back to the rocks. The water was shallow and it wasn’t far. In minutes I’d be back with my daughter.

  But Charlotte was there now. And I knew that if I did leave him he’d follow and make sure it was over for me. I wouldn’t ever get away with what I’d done.

  Trapped in a moment of indecision, we continued drifting out to sea. Each wave we bobbed over made the boat wobble, which in turn caused Br
ian to grab hold of the edge.

  Back on the beach Charlotte and Alice’s silhouettes were fading into the distance. The light was dimming too now. Soon it would disappear completely. Already the sea was turning an inky black.

  I considered that one way or another it was all over for me. Likely I would pay for what I’d done and I figured that if there was any slim chance of staying out of prison then maybe I shouldn’t leave Brian again.

  And as I contemplated the idea of staying in the boat I reminded myself that I surely had the upper hand on the sea. Because I could swim. And he couldn’t.

  Charlotte

  Charlotte wrapped herself tighter around Alice to keep the little girl warm. For two weeks she had felt responsible for Alice’s disappearance and now here she was holding her in her arms, breathing in her smell as Alice’s head nestled into her chest. The relief was so intense Charlotte had to force herself to keep from sobbing. Alice was frightened and Charlotte knew how much she needed to keep it together for her, yet it was getting increasingly hard.

  ‘Where’s Mummy gone?’ Alice asked again. ‘When’s she coming back?’

  ‘Soon,’ Charlotte told her. ‘I promise you she’ll be back soon.’ She didn’t want to think about what was happening out on that tiny boat or where Brian was taking them. She looked down at the little girl whose body shivered against hers and pulled her closer. When she looked up again the boat had disappeared completely.

  ‘Is Grandpa going to be OK?’ Alice asked.

  Two paramedics now crouched on the rocks ahead of them. She couldn’t see Les beyond. ‘They’re doing everything they can,’ she whispered into Alice’s hair. She had to admit it didn’t look good.

  Ten minutes earlier Charlotte had arrived at Elderberry Cottage and was met by a woman who looked as confused as she felt. ‘Oh hello, I was looking for a friend but maybe I’ve got the wrong address.’ Charlotte leaned back to see if there was a house name, but she was sure the weathered sign at the front read ‘Elderberry’.

  ‘Who is it you’re looking for?’ the woman asked. Behind her heavy, dark fringe and thick-rimmed glasses Charlotte could barely see her eyes. ‘I own the cottage but I have a guest staying here at the moment.’

  ‘Erm,’ she stumbled. She had no idea what Harriet’s father was called and knew she shouldn’t risk getting into conversation about him.

  ‘I’ve got a Les Matthews here – is that who you want?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said cautiously. ‘This is Elderberry Cottage?’

  ‘That’s right. He wasn’t here when I turned up earlier. I only came by because Glenda called and told me there was someone funny lurking around last night. Glenda lives in the house on the corner.’ The woman pointed up the lane in the direction from which Charlotte had come. ‘She’s nearly ninety.’

  ‘Oh. Right.’

  ‘We don’t get lurkers. No one comes up here. I told Glenda it would be nothing but I promised her I’d check anyway. To be honest, I don’t think she likes me renting the cottage out. She’d rather have someone permanent living here, but what can you do?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Charlotte said.

  ‘That’s why I always feel like I have to come and check these things out whenever she calls me but—’

  ‘I’m really sorry to be rude,’ Charlotte interrupted, ‘but I do need to find my friend. Can you tell me how I can get to the beach?’

  ‘The beach?’ The woman looked at her watch. ‘It’s gone half eight; no one will be down there this time of night.’

  ‘I’d like to check, as he’s not at the cottage. Can I get down that way?’ She pointed towards the clifftop.

  The woman shook her head. ‘No. It’s far too dangerous to use the path at night. You won’t be able to see where you’re stepping. You’re best going back down the lane and through the village by car if you really want to be going to the beach. But the tide will be in, mind. There won’t be much of it left.’

  Charlotte thanked her. She would have preferred to get back into the car and drive home. Darkness was encroaching and the lanes weren’t lit, but she knew she’d never forgive herself if she didn’t at least look for Harriet on the beach.

  She turned the car round in the narrow lane, careful not to hit the woman’s Land Rover that was haphazardly parked in front of her, and drove back the way she’d come, turning right into the village and following the signs to the beach.

  As soon as Charlotte saw Alice standing on the rocks she realised it was her, but relief soon passed when she noticed the fishing boat with the two figures in it, slowly drifting out to sea.

  She climbed on to the rocks, yelling out Alice’s name. The little girl turned round, tears streaming down her cheeks. ‘Alice, it’s me, Charlotte. Come this way.’

  Gradually Alice took small steps towards her until Charlotte reached her and pulled her into her arms.

  ‘Daddy took Mummy into the boat,’ Alice cried. ‘And he hurt Grandpa. He threw him down on the rocks,’ she sobbed as she pointed a finger towards where he lay.

  ‘Jesus,’ Charlotte exclaimed when she saw him. She took a step towards the body but didn’t want to get too close with Alice gripping her tightly. Reaching into her pocket, Charlotte pulled out her phone and dialled 999. ‘Ambulance and police,’ she said urgently, when the call was answered.

  The police and paramedics turned up and, once they’d obtained brief details from Charlotte, called the coastguard. It hadn’t crossed her mind to ask for them too and she berated herself, hoping they would get there fast because already the light was taking with it her last dregs of hope that Harriet would be OK.

  Charlotte talked to Alice to drown out the noise of the two police officers and their radios, hovering nearby. ‘When the lifeboat gets here it’ll go straight to find your mummy and bring her back,’ she said. As Alice hadn’t mentioned her dad, Charlotte didn’t either. ‘Now, tell me about what you did in Cornwall.’ She tried keeping their minds occupied though her own kept drifting to Harriet.

  She’d told the police Harriet couldn’t swim. Had shouted it to them as they made their call to the coastguard. Alice had looked up at Charlotte strangely and she’d told the little girl not to worry, that her mummy would be fine. She should never have said anything in front of her.

  But Alice had continued to look at her, puzzling over something.

  ‘What is it?’ she’d asked. But Alice had shrugged and didn’t answer so she didn’t pursue it.

  ‘I don’t want Grandpa to die.’ Alice’s voice now was so small she could barely hear it. Charlotte couldn’t get the picture of his body out of her head, skewed at an angle it definitely shouldn’t have been in.

  She looked over at the paramedics and wondered what was happening; then at the policemen, who’d question her shortly. And when they did, she’d have no choice but to tell them the truth.

  Harriet

  Brian’s face was screwed tight as he steered the boat into the darkness of the sea. I thought it was rage that drove him on, but each time he turned I caught glimpses of his eyes that were now no more than dead, black holes.

  There was nothing left of him. An empty carcass of the man I met, the one I’d allowed to control me since. Brian knew he’d lost me but this meant he had nothing left to lose.

  My poor, tragic husband. So coiled up in his own world where there was no room for anything but me. Not even Alice. His own daughter came nowhere close to the so-called love he had for me. I’d seen that tonight more than ever before.

  I needed to at least try and talk him down from whatever he was planning. Though I doubted even he knew what that was.

  ‘Brian,’ I said gently, arching my back as I bent my knees beneath me. ‘I don’t think you want to hurt me, you love me too much for that.’

  ‘Love?’ He laughed softly. His shoulders tensed as his right hand curled around the edge of the boat. ‘There’s no love left,’ he said quietly, his focus fixed on the fading horizon ahead of us.

  ‘What are
you planning to do?’

  ‘Shut up, Harriet.’ His body tightened, his hand gripped harder on to the side.

  ‘I know you don’t want to lose me,’ I said. After all, he’d had his chance to call the police at any point over the last twenty-four hours. Brian could have already ensured I’d pay for what I’d done; he could have had me locked up and away from Alice, just like he was always telling me.

  Only I knew now he wouldn’t have done that. He didn’t want Alice without me. Taking my daughter away was never more than a threat to ensure I stayed with him.

  I wasn’t sure he’d throw me out of the boat and save himself but I was beginning to wonder if he planned for us both to go. As I looked back at the shore, I could no longer make out any figures but, as the blue lights arced in the sky, I knew help must have arrived. It was a relief that my dad would be taken care of, though I was also aware the police would be questioning Charlotte. They’d know what I’d done by now.

  I slumped back against the side of the boat. Was it all over?

  I couldn’t let it be. I had to find strength from somewhere.

  ‘Brian,’ I started, ‘we need to go back for Alice.’

  ‘I told you to stop talking,’ he snapped.

  ‘I know you love her,’ I went on. Not in the way you’d want your child to be loved but still I was certain he didn’t want to hurt her. ‘Imagine how scared she must be.’

  ‘I said shut up.’ He swung around to face me. The boat tipped to one side, rooting Brian to the spot, and I saw his fear again – the precariousness of balancing on the water he so dreaded. ‘Don’t say another word,’ he hissed, slowly turning back towards the horizon.

  I didn’t speak. Instead I crawled deeper into the bottom of the boat and watched him closely, imagining the sensation our situation had caused. The franticness of the officers and paramedics on the beach, the questioning, putting it all together. In contrast, it was entirely peaceful out at sea. By then the sun had slipped away and, other than the intermittent blue lights, it was getting harder to see.