In the Heart of Forever

by Jo-Anna Walker

  “Are you seriously considering going to this party?” I asked him.

  “I don’t know. Why do you care anyways?” he snarled.

  “Rave, I…”

  “Whatever.” He got out of the car and walked around to my door. His features were hard and he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw. Throwing open my door, he grabbed my bag.

  I slid out of the car, tentatively standing in front of him.

  He slammed the door closed, roughly grabbed my hand and pushed me up against the side of his car. Placing a hard kiss on my lips, he leaned into me.

  I gasped at the feel of him and the very public display of affection.

  Trailing kisses down my jaw to my ear, he grabbed the back of my neck. “You were begging me to make love to you this morning, remember? Now you tell me you don’t want to be with me. If I would have fucked you, would that have changed your mind?”

  My stomach twisted at his crude words. “No. That’s not the reason why and I don’t want to leave you but I was considering leaving for you.”

  “You don’t need to protect me, Jesse. I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself.” He gripped my hip and ground his pelvis into me.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, my body stirring at the feel of him against me.

  He pinched my jaw and slammed his mouth down on mine. He shoved his tongue in between my lips, kissing the life out of me. A moment later, he released me. “Stop apologizing.” He stepped away from me and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go before I get charged with public indecency.”

  My face heated and we walked to the entrance of the school in silence. Rave made a note of showing me and everyone else how pissed off he was. He stomped up the steps and growled at anyone who got in our way.

  When we reached my locker, he stood closer to me than usual. Like he was protecting me. He handed me my bag and when our fingers touched, it set off the usual spark between us. His features softened a touch and the tension I felt before, simmered some. He cupped the back of my neck and placed a soft kiss on my head. “Come on. We’re going to be late.”

  The second warning bell ringed as soon as he said that. He closed the locker door and I placed my hand in his, tugging it lightly. He looked down at me, his green eyes boring into mine.

  We stood there and stared at each other for a moment. A couple seconds passed and then he placed a light kiss on my lips.

  When he raised his head, I saw Melanie staring at us. Her jaw clenched, her back stiff as she sneered my way. My throat went dry. I had a feeling that if we did end up going to this party tonight, it would not end well.

  ***

  After school, we stopped off at Rave’s apartment so he could change. He had convinced me to go to this party tonight. I didn’t want to.

  “I don’t know why we’re going tonight.”

  Rave sighed and ran a hand through his shaggy hair. “I don’t want us to go. I’d rather stay here with you.”

  I frowned. “Then why are we going?”

  “To get Melanie off of my ass.”

  “Oh.” Jealousy soared through me, making my skin crawl. Something told me not to go to this stupid party but I would go for him if it meant that the Triple M’s would leave us alone. It’s the least I could do since causing him so much grief. I was actually surprised he still wanted anything to do with me.

  “Will you please stop doubting me?”

  I snapped out of my thoughts and frowned.

  Rave was standing in front of his dresser, glaring at me as he pulled his t-shirt over his head.

  “I’m not doubting you,” I argued, trying to ignore the way his abs moved fluidly.

  He rolled his eyes. “It’s one thing for you to not believe me when I tell you how I feel about you but don’t sit there and lie to me, Jesse.”

  I huffed. How could he know so much about me already in the short time we’ve been together?

  He walked up to me and placed a hard kiss on my lips. “You asked for me to be patient. I am. I’m still pissed that you don’t believe me when I tell you how I feel but fine, whatever. I’ll get over it.”

  “Rave, I…”

  “Shut up for a second,” he snapped.

  My eyebrow rose.

  “Jesse Dawson, I am falling in love with you whether you like it or not so you can suck it up and get over it.” He covered my mouth again, his kiss hard and fast. It was intense and left me breathless. He pushed me down onto his bed, his tongue penetrating my mouth. His kiss was angry and desperate and I reveled in it. Needed it.

  I pulled and tugged at his shirt, running my hands down his chest. My fingers grazed his skin above the waist band of his jeans and smoothing my hands over his tight abs, I squeezed his waist, pulling him towards me.

  He groaned against my mouth. He lifted his head and kissed my jaw.

  I wrapped my legs around his hips and moaned at the hardness of him in between my legs.

  “Oh God, Jesse.” He lightly bit my jaw, trailing kisses down my neck.

  “I need you,” I panted.

  His breath caught and then he covered my lips with his. Our tongues danced, searching, exploring each other’s mouths.

  “Please, Rave.” God I wanted him. No, I needed him. I squeezed his hips with my thighs and wiggled under him.

  His hips moved slowly, rubbing against me.

  Too many clothes. Too many clothes were in the way. “Rave, please,” I said, tugging at his shirt.

  “Not yet.” He licked down my jaw to my ear, his hot breath scorching my skin.

  I whimpered. “Rave, I can’t wait anymore.”

  He lifted his head, his eyes blazing. “Yeah you can, baby.”

  I pouted and dug my heels into his ass, pulling him harder against me. “I don’t want to though.”

  His eyes darkened. “Jesse, I…”

  I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his mouth down to mine. I lifted my hips, rubbing against him and smoothed my fingers over the waist band of his jeans. I undid his belt and jeans with shaky hands, ignoring the fluttering of nerves in my belly. I wanted this. Rave clearly wanted it but was he right? Was it too soon?

  Rave kissed the corner of my lips and down my jaw. “Jesse…”

  “Shhh…just kiss me and lets see where this goes. Please.” I ran my fingers over the soft skin under his belly button.

  He hesitated for a moment and then covered my mouth. His hands roamed up my hips, massaging and kneading as they went. He rose to all fours, leaning on his elbows and released my mouth. He placed a light kiss on my lips and grazed his thumb over my swollen lips. “If things are going too fast for you, you let me know. Alright?”

  I nodded and kissed his thumb.

  His hand moved down to the waist band of my jeans. My breath caught in my throat as he released the button of my jeans.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, waiting in anticipation on what he would do next. He had seen me naked before and had done things already that made me feel good but this could go further.

  “Jesse, look at me,” he demanded.

  I opened my eyes, staring into the depths of his. His fingers lightly grazed just under my belly button.

  “Are you ok?” he asked.

  I nodded. I was. Nervous but I was ok. “Don’t stop.”

  He nodded. His fingers moved to my zipper, lowering it. Anxious butterflies flew around in my belly, waiting for him to make his next move.

  He rose to his knees and grabbed the waist band of my jeans. He looked at me before continuing, his eyes asking me if I was ok.

  To prove I wanted him to keep going, I pulled my sweatshirt off of me, leaving me in just my tank top and panties.

  His heated eyes, traveled down my body. My skin responded to his stare, goose pimples rising on my skin.

  He leaned on his elbow and kissed me lightly. I curled my fingers around his nape and deepened the kiss, all the while aware that his other hand was squeezing my inner thigh.

  It moved higher and higher unt
il he reached my panties. I jumped when his fingers grazed the crease in my upper thigh.

  “Are you ok?” he asked against my lips.

  “Yes.” My heart was beating hard against my chest, my blood singing in my ears. Our mouths continued to move together as he lightly caressed the sensitive skin. A burning ache built inside of me when his finger moved under my panties, touching me where I wanted him most. I bucked against him. “Please, Rave.”

  I moaned, arching under him as he moved his finger against me.

  “You are so hot, baby,” he whispered.

  “I need more.” I moaned and gasped, squeezing his shoulders when his finger entered me. “Oh Rave.”

  I licked my lips and reveled in his touch. He set my skin on fire, waking a burning desire I had never felt before.

  He watched me, every so often placing kisses on my lips, chin, and jaw. Watching me come undone beneath him. Watching me break. I opened myself to him.

  My eyes rolled back in my head as he continued to caress my core. I bit my lower lip and arched under him, squeezing his shoulders. As an explosion erupted inside of me, I screamed his name. White spots filled my vision at the intensity and power of his touch. After my body calmed down, no longer shaking, I sighed with happiness.

  He chuckled, kissing my nose. “You are so beautiful, baby.”

  I ran a hand down his cheek and moved my other down his stomach. His pants were still undone and I reached into them. He bucked against me when I wrapped my hand around him. He rose back onto all fours and kissed my chin as I continued to please him. He lowered his pants a little more and I arched under him, gasping when he touched a spot that I had wanted him for so long.

  His hand reached into the drawer of the nightstand beside us and pulled out a condom. He reached down in between us and I jumped when his finger grazed over my center. “I can stop.”

  “No, don’t. Please.” I hooked my legs around his waist, pulling him towards me. “I want this. I need this, Rave.”

  He kissed my nose and opened the small foil package with his teeth and sheathed himself.

  I wrapped my legs around his hips and arched under him when he slowly entered me. A groan erupted from the back of his throat, his body tightening above me as he pushed into me further.

  It felt full and a pressure built in my lower belly but it felt…good. It didn’t hurt like I had heard.

  “Jesse? Are you okay?” Rave asked me, not moving at all.

  I nodded. “I thought it would be more painful.”

  Rave’s eyes darkened with amusement. “Baby, I’m not all the way in.”

  My eyes widened. “Oh…wow…”

  He laughed and lowered further into me. “You definitely know how to stroke a guys ego.”

  My cheeks heated.

  He pushed into me some more and then stopped. “Now I am. Are you okay?”

  My breath caught at the full feeling of him inside me. My core clenching around him. “Yes, I’m good.”

  A smug smile splayed on his face. He covered my mouth with his, licking his way in between my lips. “I’m going to start moving now, real slow.”

  I nodded and tightened my thighs around his waist. I pulled his mouth harder against mine as a pleasure built up in my groin as he moved his hips.

  Our breathing picked up and his hands roamed down the side of my body, massaging and squeezing as they went. He released my mouth and kissed down my jaw to my ear, resting his head in the crook of my neck. He held my hand, squeezing it hard. Knowing I was making him feel that way gave me a pleasurable high.

  My hands gripped his shoulders, my fingers digging into his muscles as a small tingle spread throughout my body.

  As he moved in me, a spark ignited inside, growing bigger and bigger and then exploded. I cried out as Rave covered my mouth, swallowing my scream of ecstasy.

  He grunted a moment later, shaking above me and then stopped, resting his body on mine. “Jesse, you’re going to be the death of me.”

  I giggled and ran a hand over his nape, grazing my fingers through his hair.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, his deep green eyes filling with concern.

  “Oh yeah. I’m more than okay.”

  He smirked and placed a hard kiss on my lips. “I can’t believe how good you feel.”

  I lightly grazed a hand down his cheek. “You make me feel good, Rave.”

  He smiled and kissed my palm. “Lets get ready and go to this stupid party. Maybe if we stay away from Melanie and her pets, we’ll actually have fun.”

  Chapter 18

  An hour later, I was standing in a dressing room trying on dresses. Rave had insisted on buying me a new outfit for the party that night. My stomach clenched. I still didn’t want to go but since Rave seemed like he wanted to, I would go for him.

  “Rave, I don’t know about this one,” I said a moment later.

  “Let me see.” Rave opened the dressing room door and stood behind me, his eyes roaming down my body. He placed his hands on my bare shoulders and kissed my neck. “Yeah, this is definitely the right dress.”

  I looked down at myself and attempted to ignore the way his kiss made my skin tingle. The dress was white, stopping at my knees. It was loose and flared every time I turned. “Are you sure?” I whispered.

  He nodded, our eyes meeting in the reflection of the mirror. “Definitely. It’s going to be hard to keep my hands off of you now.”

  I giggled. My cheeks heated under his scrutiny and his words. “Ok well, I need a sweater.”

  “Don’t bother changing. We can get the sales clerk to cut the tags off.” His voice was gruff and taking a deep breath, he kissed my head.

  We walked around the small boutique in search of a sweater and shoes. I quickly found a light blue cardigan and silver flats. Not really doing anything with my hair, I just put it up in a messy bun.

  The sales clerk was happy to cut the tags off when Rave asked her to. She made it blatantly obvious that she was checking him out. I also saw her fingers linger when he handed her the money. Biting my inner cheek to keep from unleashing my jealousy, I scanned the room, waiting for him to finish paying.

  A warm grabbed the back of my neck and I turned to Rave. He smiled down at me. “Ready, baby?”

  I nodded and we left the store but not before I made sure to turn back to the sales clerk and glare in her direction. She rolled her eyes and went about helping another customer.

  “Did you just give her a dirty look?”

  I jumped at Rave’s question, turning to him. “No. Why would I do that? She was only undressing you with her eyes.”

  He laughed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “Are you jealous?”

  I scoffed and elbowed him in the ribs. “Why would I be jealous?”

  “I love how you deny it.” He chuckled and kissed my head.

  “You get jealous too there, Rave.” I pointed out remembering the growl he made when I told him that I was asked to the Valentine’s Day dance.

  He cleared his throat and stopped laughing. “Good point.”

  ***

  “You look beautiful, Jesse,” Rave told me as we sat in his car outside of Melanie’s parents’ house.

  I turned to him. “I’ve never been to a party, especially not one thrown by the Triple M’s.”

  “It’ll be fine,” he said reassuringly. “We’ll have a drink and then leave.”

  “Rave, why did we even decide to come to this stupid party?”

  He sighed. “Melanie said she would make our lives a living hell if we didn’t.”

  Fury tore through me. “She said that?”

  He nodded. “I could have called her bluff but I was looking out for you.”

  My heart swelled and then I frowned. “I still have a bad feeling about this.” My eyes flicked back to the large house. Cars pulled up occasionally, letting kids out. My palms were sweaty as I wiped them against my dress.

  “I know baby. Maybe we should just leave. I’m sure there are other thi
ngs we could do tonight,” Rave said suggestively.

  I turned to him, catching his eyes graze over me before they roamed back up to mine. I smiled. “That would be way more fun.”

  A cheesy smug grin formed on his lips and he kissed my knuckles. “We can leave.”

  My skin tingled under his heated stare. “No, as much as I can’t stand Melanie, I believe her when she said that she would make our lives miserable. Let’s just go and get this over with.”

  I sighed. I opened my door and grabbed Rave’s outstretched hand when he approached me. We walked up the sidewalk to the house in front of us. “Did you ever go to the parties at your old school?” I asked him.

  “No. I never had a chance.”

  “Oh. Well I’m sure you’re not missing much but thanks to you, I got invited to my first one.” I smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Melanie’s a bitch. You should have been invited to one a long time ago,” he grumbled.

  I shrugged. “It’s fine. I’d rather spend time with my books and music anyways.”

  He sighed. He was angry for me. My heart swelled.

  He was in love with me. I didn’t know how I felt about him. I cared for him yes but was it love? I wasn’t sure. I cared enough for him to give my virginity to him and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I had heard so many horror stories about the first time but with Rave, it was wonderful.

  As we neared the steps to Melanie’s house, she came out, practically barreling us over. “Oh Rave. Hi.” She looked me up and down, her eyes glassy. Was she drunk already? “Wow, four eyes, you actually look like a girl for once.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “What did I say, Melanie? Call her by her fucking real name,” Rave growled.

  I tugged on his arm. “Rave, it’s fine.”

  His head snapped around, eyes blazing with fury. “No, it’s not.”

  Melanie giggled. “Rave, sweetheart. I was only kidding. Wasn’t I, Jesse?”

  One of the football players came outside, sneering at Rave once he saw us. “What are they doing here?”