In the Heart of Forever

by Jo-Anna Walker

  “I invited Rave and he dragged his little lap dog here with him,” Melanie said, looking repulsed that I actually decided to show up.

  “Come on, Rave. Let’s go get a drink.” I tugged on his arm.

  He looked down at me and nodded. Before I could lead us inside, Melanie grabbed onto his other arm, pulling him from my grip.

  “What the hell?” he snarled at her.

  Miranda and Melissa appeared out of nowhere and grabbed my arms, leading me inside. “Hey,” I cried out.

  I looked back, panic settling in my features. Melanie was sidling up to Rave and he wasn’t even looking at me. His deep eyes were focused on her, looking at her with disgust. He attempted to push her off of him but he didn’t seem to be doing a good enough job. Maybe he wanted her. I shook my head. No, he wouldn’t.

  “He’s not good enough for you,” Miranda said, dragging me into the kitchen at the other end of the house. The large home was packed wall to wall with kids, most of which were either drunk or high.

  “How do you know what’s good for me, Miranda? You haven’t said one nice thing to me since I moved here.” I glared at her.

  Her pretty round face was surrounded by blonde curls and she shrugged. “Whatevs.”

  “You know. There are a lot of guys we could introduce you too. Ones that are way better than Rave. They would treat you better too if you get my drift,” Melissa said suggestively.

  I looked over at Melissa as she waggled her eyebrows. Rolling my eyes, I sat down in the stool at the kitchen island. Crossing my arms under my chest, I looked back at the door. It was now closed. I really hoped I was just seeing things but Melanie seemed to be able to get any man she wanted, including mine.

  Melissa handed me a red cup filled with some sort of liquid. I knew it was liquor by the awful smell. I handed it back to her.

  She scowled. “You don’t drink?”

  “Not that stuff,” I answered, shaking my head.

  “Well what the hell do you want then?” Miranda asked.

  I shrugged. “Beer I guess.” I didn’t drink. Since living with an alcoholic, I never had the desire, but maybe one beer wouldn’t hurt and might help me relax.

  “Beer,” they both repeated at the same time.

  I nodded. Turning back to the door, I waited for Rave to come in. As each moment passed, horrible images kept bouncing around in my head. The things I pictured Melanie doing to him made me cringe with disgust.

  “Here you go, Jesse.”

  I turned to the sound of Melissa’s voice. She had a red cup in front of her, holding it out to me.

  I took it and placed it to my lips. “Thank you.” Taking a drink, I let the cool carbonated liquid run down my throat.

  Every so often, people came up to me, asking me who I was or if I went to school with them or if I was new to the city. I frowned every time. I had wanted to blend in but it still hurt that these kids who I’ve gone to school with for the last eight years had no idea who I was.

  Every time my cup emptied, it magically refilled. My head start to feel funny, light even, like I was floating on a cloud. I couldn’t focus on just one thing and I would laugh at something someone had said.

  Miranda and Melissa would laugh and point at me.

  Frowning, I rose off the stool. I didn’t feel well. As soon as my feet touched the ground, I fell, causing a burst of laughter to escape from my lips.

  “Jesse?” A boy’s voice asked. I didn’t recognize it and my head hurt, like someone was banging my brain around with a hammer.

  A pair of sneakers came into my field of vision and I touched them. “Nice shoes.”

  Warm arms wrapped around me, lifting me to my feet. Opening my eyes, which I didn’t even realize I had closed, I looked into a pair of dark eyes. “Jake?”

  “What’s going on?” he asked, holding me at arm’s length.

  “I…don’t feel so good.” I bent over as my stomach churned, emptying my stomach on the floor. People groaned around me, laughed and even called me names. At this point I didn’t care while my stomach continued to torture me.

  “Get the maggot out of here.”

  Something hard hit my head. My vision waved in front of me and the room started spinning.

  “Come on Jesse.” Jake continued talking to me but I couldn’t understand anything he had said.

  Something else hit me, making me cry out. A sharp throbbing pain erupted from my head. Lifting my hand slowly, I touched my scalp. Something sticky coated my fingers. Looking down at my fingers, they were coated with a red gooey substance.

  “Oh God, Jesse. You’re bleeding.”

  “Take me home, Jake,” I groaned.

  Jake pulled me towards the door and opened it for me. The fresh air hit me full force, making my belly churn. Taking some deep breaths, I let Jake pull alongside him. “Wait, where’s Rave?”

  “Uh…he’s right beside you.”

  I turned and saw Melanie standing between Rave’s legs, his face pulled down to hers. His hands were on her ass, squeezing and kneading their way over her backside.

  My stomach rolled again at the side. Oh God. No, Rave. A sob escaped my lips. “Let me go.”

  “No, come on. We need to get you home.” Jake tugged my arm.

  “No, I need to see him. I want…” I was rambling nonsense at this point but I needed to confront him. How could he do this to me? And he wondered why I didn’t believe that he was falling in love with me. He was a liar and an asshole. I hated him. At the point, I wanted nothing more to do with Rave Black. We were done.

  Chapter 19

  We pulled up to Allan’s house. Oh God, I didn’t want to be here either. “Jake.” My stomach churned again and I threw open the door, spilling the contents of my stomach on the curb.

  A hand rubbed over my back. “Let it out, Jesse. You’ll feel so much better.”

  I groaned. No. I would feel better once I was out of this damn city for good. I would never look back either. Not for anyone. I would go visit my mom, say good bye and leave.

  A loud rumble pulled up behind us, making the headache that started pounding in my skull, rise to the surface. “Turn off the car.” I complained. The noise was too loud.

  “It’s not my car,” Jake replied.

  “Baby, oh God, are you alright?” Rave.

  What was he doing there?

  “I’m so sorry.”

  I frowned. “Jake, bring me inside. I don’t want to see him.”

  I heard the other door slam shut and a moment later; I was lifted out of the car.

  “Hey, get your hands off of her, asshole.” We were shoved and I almost fell out of the arms of whoever was holding me.

  “Do you want me to drop her?”

  I didn’t know who was saying what. I knew Jake and Rave were there but my brain couldn’t form any coherent thoughts at this point. Making a promise to myself that I would never drink again, I wiggled out of the arms that were holding me. Stumbling up the sidewalk to Allan’s, I fell up the steps of the porch. Arms grabbed at me, trying to lift me. “Let go of me.” I mumbled.

  I heard a scuffle behind me. Grunts and groans filling my ears but I ignored them. Making it to the top stop, I fell against the door. My head spun and I fell forward as the door magically opened before my very eyes.

  “What the hell is going on here?”

  Who was talking to me? A third voice. Oh no. Allan. I turned over, breathing heavy as I tried calming my racing stomach.

  “Are you drunk, brat?”

  I groaned, not being able to form any words.

  “Well now, isn’t this interesting? It’s about time you came back.” Allan’s voice lowered.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed through the nausea. I must have passed out because the next thing I saw was Allan standing over me. His cold dark eyes, filling with hatred as they took in my immobile form.

  Passing in and out for what felt like hours, I could feel hands groping me, touching me, kneading my skin. Pulling, tug
ging, and tearing at my clothes. What was going on? I couldn’t move. My body felt like it weighed a ton. My head throbbed and the room spun. “Ugh, someone turn off the ride.”

  “Oh girl, the ride has only just begun.” Rough lips covered mine, a hot tongue shoving its way into my mouth.

  Nausea churned in my belly making bile rise in my throat. I pushed my attacker off of me and turned before puking on the floor.

  “Ugh, bitch.”

  A heavy hand, slammed into my face, knocking me onto my back. Spots danced in my vision and my head now throbbed worse than before. “Stop.”

  “Why? You’re lying here just begging me to—”

  I lifted my knee as hard as I could, hitting him in the balls. “No.”

  Allan cried out and gripped between his legs. “Bitch.”

  “What the hell?” I turned to the sound of Rave’s voice standing in the doorway.

  Allan rose to his feet a swayed. His dark eyes cold and glassy. “You’re lucky. Now get out of here before I do something that you’ll regret.”

  Rave ran towards me, pulling me against him. “Are you okay? Did that fucker…”

  I pushed out his hold and rose on wobbly legs. “No, I’m not okay and no he didn’t do whatever you think he did.”

  “Jesse.” Rave grabbed my arm and I spun on him.

  “Don’t touch me. Ever again. We’re done.” Shoving out of his grip, I stumbled up the stairs to my bedroom with Rave hot on my heels.

  “What the hell is going on? Why are you acting this way?”

  “I saw you kissing her. You were practically having sex on her porch,” I yelled.

  Rave’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about?”

  “Melanie.” I screamed. “You were sucking face with her and had your hands…” My stomach churned at the memory. “Just leave. Please.”

  Rave took a step towards me. “Baby.”

  “No.” I pointed at him. “You do not get to call me that. Now leave. Leave. Get out of my house.”

  His eyes darkened and his shoulders slumped. The pain that etched in his face broke my heart but he broke my heart when he kissed Melanie. After I gave myself to him that afternoon, he decided to go after a girl who had made my life a living hell for the last eight years.

  “I’m not leaving you alone with that monster downstairs.”

  I rolled my eyes and flopped on the bed. I had no more energy to argue. “Whatever.”

  He sat on the floor and leaned against the bed. “I love you, baby.”

  My heart shattered at his words. He loved me. He told me that he was falling in love with me but never actually told me he loved me until now. My heart and brain battled out through my feelings. I was so confused and hurt. To see Rave kissing Melanie…it felt like a part of my soul was ripped out of me.

  I opened my eyes when the bed lowered beside me. A heavy arm wrapped around me, pulling me tight against a hard body. I sighed and snuggled against Rave, falling asleep to the rhythmic sound of his heart.

  In the Heart of Tomorrow

  Part 3

  Jesse Dawson

  and

  Rave Black

  Chapter 20

  Jesse

  That Monday morning, I woke up with a splitting headache. I had spent the day before in my room and surprisingly, Allan didn’t bother me at all.

  After the party and eventually kicking Rave out, I passed out from the alcohol. Exhausted from the emotional confusion that tore through me. A part of me didn’t want to believe that Rave had actually kissed Melanie. Was I seeing things? Did it actually happen or was I that drunk, that my brain made it up? Maybe she just kissed a guy that looked like him. But Jake did say that it was him. I didn’t know what to believe anymore.

  Rave and Jake both tried calling me the day before but I didn’t talk to them. I couldn’t. I would face them and everyone else at school and the embarrassment from puking at Melanie’s party.

  After getting ready, I headed downstairs into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and an apple.

  “You listen to me, brat.”

  I jumped at the sound of Allan’s voice, not seeing him sitting at the table.

  “You won’t see that boy again, hear me?”

  “Yup.”

  Allan turned to me and the look of surprise on his face that I didn’t argue with him was priceless. He cleared his throat and grunted in satisfaction, looking back at the newspaper in his hand.

  “I want to see my mother,” I told him.

  “Not gonna happen.”

  I spun on him. “And why not? She’s my mother.”

  He glared at me. “Yeah and you are the one that put her in the fucking hospital.”

  My body tensed, my chest tightening at what he was saying. Not responding, I left the house. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I walked the couple of blocks to school. Why did everything that had made me happy get taken away from me? I was just starting to feel like a normal teenager and happy with Rave and then it blew up in my face. It’s like life was laughing at me. Playing some sort of sick-ass joke.

  A deep rumble of an engine pulled up beside me, driving slowly but I ignored it, not wanting to see the owner of the vehicle.

  The window rolled down as it continued to follow me. “Jesse. Get in.”

  “No.” I crossed my arms under my chest and picked up the pace.

  “Get in the car,” Rave demanded.

  “Why should I?” My voice cracked and I continued walking down the street.

  “Get in the car. Now,” Rave growled and stopped the car beside me.

  I huffed and opened the door, sliding into the passenger seat. We sat in silence the rest of the way to school and when we got to the big brick building, I sat there and stared at it. The bright lights stung my eyes as my head roared from a pounding headache. I didn’t want to be there. As soon as we walked through those doors, the whispers and talking would start from those that were at the party. I shouldn’t have drunk so much and the way I left, probably caused a scene too.

  “I didn’t kiss Melanie,” Rave said.

  I scoffed. “Yeah. Right.”

  “Jesse.” I could feel him looking at me but I kept my gaze straight ahead. I didn’t want to be mad at him but he hurt me. How did he expect me to believe that he didn’t kiss her? I saw him. “Jesse, look at me, damn it.”

  I turned my head and glared at him. An ache started in my head from the hard tensing of my jaw. “I saw you kissing her.”

  “I don’t know what you saw, but it wasn’t me. When we got—”

  I lifted my hand, stopping him. “I don’t want to hear it.” I was probably being a bitch but I was hurting. I wasn’t ready to hear his explanation. I grabbed my bag and opened the door when his heavy hand gripped the back of my neck.

  “Don’t touch me.”

  “Jesse.”

  I shoved out of his grip, left the car and headed for the school. My heart beat hard against my chest and my stomach churned. My first hangover. How could anyone get addicted to this shit?

  My hand was grabbed by Rave and I tried releasing myself from his grip but the hard stare of his eyes, made me hesitate and give in to his hold. He was determined. I’d give him that much.

  A couple of kids sat on the steps leading up to the entrance of the school and I could already hear them whispering.

  “Hey, Jesse. How’s Ralph?” A kid asked as the others laughed around him.

  One of the football player’s eyes roamed down my body. “I heard Rave was all over Melanie. Looks like you’re not good enough to keep him. I’ll teach you how to please a real man, Jesse.”

  Rave released my hand and the next thing I knew, he dove at the kid. He pulled him off the railing and drove his fist into his face. The kid’s friends were yelling for him to stop but Rave wouldn’t. He just kept punching him and punching him. I had only seen him that mad once and not wanting a replay of getting his elbow in my head, I ran to the front of him and pushed him off of the guy.<
br />
  “Rave. Stop.” I gripped his shirt, his body shaking under my touch.

  His nostrils flared and his breathing ragged but I held on.

  I placed soft pecks on his lips, trying to calm him down. I didn’t know what else to do.

  “Get control of your boyfriend, Jesse. He’s fucking nuts.”

  I turned to the girl who spoke and snarled. “You’re lucky I’m here in the first place.”

  “Whatevs.” The girl and some of her friends grabbed the kid that Rave had almost beat to a bloody pulp and brought him into the school.

  “Have fun dealing with the police asshole. I’m fucking charging you.” The bloodied kid threatened. Great. That was another thing we needed.

  “Rave.” I grabbed his hands. His knuckles were bloody.

  “It’s not my blood,” Rave said gruffly.

  “They look sore, though,” I said, rubbing my thumb over them.

  “They’re not.” He rose to his feet and grabbed my hand, pulling me up. “Let’s go to class.”

  “But…shouldn’t you be getting a lawyer or something?” I asked, trying to keep up with his quick pace.

  “I’ll deal with it when the time comes.” We walked into the school and headed to my locker. My eyes kept flicking to Rave’s. I was worried for him. He had a temper and he needed to control it. Too late.

  Chapter 21

  Rave

  God, she’s beautiful.

  I leaned against the locker and watched Jesse grab her stuff.

  Her thin frame, pale and ashen made an ache form in my throat. Her big brown eyes looked at me every so often, a teasing hint in the deep depths.

  I looked down at my hands, my knuckles red and swollen and clenched them into fists. I’d hit the asshole again that said those things about her.

  My muscles jumped, straining under my skin as I tried calming the fury that tore through me.

  Jesse fisted my shirt in her hand, forcing me to look down at her. “Are you alright?”

  I nodded. I cupped the back of her neck and kissed her forehead. The scent of soap and flowers invaded my nostrils, making my body stir.

  The feeling to protect Jesse overpowered me. It controlled me and when that kid said those nasty things about her, my temper took over. Possessing me with hatred. After she had pushed me off of him, the look on her face surprised me. She wasn’t scared of me or my anger. She was worried for me. I knew I needed to get control of myself but when it came to her, I was lost.