In the Heart of Forever

by Jo-Anna Walker

I cupped his cheek in my hands and placed a hard kiss on his lips. “You saved me.”

  He scoffed. “I didn’t, Jesse. I didn’t get there in time,” he bit out.

  I looked up at him. “Don’t feel guilty about that.”

  “I can’t help it.”

  “Rave, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know.”

  “I shouldn’t have let you leave this…”

  I kissed him harder, silencing him. “Rave, stop. You’ve showed me what love is. You made me not want to give up. I fought for us. For my mom. For other people who have been abused. You made me want to keep living.” My voice cracked and I cleared my throat.

  “I didn’t do anything.”

  “Rave, shut up.”

  A flicker of amusement coated his features. “Did you just tell me to shut up?”

  I huffed and sat fully on his lap, straddling him. “Yes. I’m trying to tell you how I feel and you’re ruining it.”

  His hands ran down my back and cupped my rear, pulling me against him. I gasped at the feel of him between my legs. I cleared my throat, mock glaring at him.

  He smirked. “By all means, continue then.”

  I curled my legs around him and picked at an imaginary fuzz on his shirt. “Rave, even though a part of me feels that you still deserve better.”

  “Jesse,” he growled.

  I rolled my eyes and kissed his full lips. “Do you want me to continue or not?”

  His jaw tensed and the hands on my backside tightened. “Will you please hurry up?”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed him back onto the bed. “So impatient.”

  “Tell me.”

  My heart sped up at the command in his voice and I took a deep breath. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

  Rave moved quickly and had me on my back, under him in a moment’s time. He placed a hard kiss against my lips. “Jesse,” he husked, releasing my mouth.

  I panted, running a hand down his cheek and placed a peck on his lips. “Hi.”

  He smiled. “Hi.”

  I wrapped my legs tighter around him and rubbed myself against him, making us both moan. “Rave, make love to me.”

  His eyes flashed with hunger and lust. “I think we should wait.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s too soon after…” His voice trailed off and I nodded in understanding. As much as I didn’t want to wait, it did make sense but a part of me was still annoyed and frustrated.

  “Fine,” I grumbled, pushing him. I was confused. My body and my mind were battling each other. It was like a war of emotions and it was wearing me out.

  “Baby, please don’t be mad,” Rave grabbed my hips, holding me in place.

  “Let me up,” I demanded.

  “No.”

  I glared at Rave and huffed.

  “You’re cute when you’re mad,” he said, smiling.

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m not mad.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “No? You’re not?”

  I shook my head. “No, I’m not. Now let me go.” The next thing I knew, he was tickling me. Unexpected laughter escaped my lips and I squirmed and wiggled under him. “Stop, Rave. That tickles.”

  He laughed, still torturing me by tickling my sides. “That’s the point.”

  My laughter deepened as I tried escaping his evil hands. “Please, I can’t breathe.” Tears streamed down my cheeks but not from sadness. I was happy. It’s like the laughter broke something deep inside me, shattering all the walls I had built up the last couple of years. It cracked the emotional barrier that was put up around us.

  Rave stopped tickling me and wiped my cheeks with his thumbs.

  My giggles stopped and I took deep breaths, easing my racing heart.

  “I love your laughs.” He said, quietly, kissing my cheek. “And your smiles.”

  My eyes fluttered closed as he kissed my jaw.

  “But more importantly…” He kissed the corner of my mouth. “I love you,” he whispered, before licking his way in between my lips.

  I wrapped my hands around his neck and deepened the kiss. My skin hummed with anticipation. I needed him and he knew that but I could wait. I would wait for him. I knew deep down it was too soon. The pain too fresh. When our moment came to be together again, it wouldn’t be planned. It would just happen and it would be perfect. “I love you, too.”

  ***

  “Your mother has been awake for the last month…”

  “Call the police, girl. I’ll deny everything and tell them about the accident.”

  Hands gripped and kneaded my body, ripping at my clothes…violating me…

  The sound of a nail gun went off. The bang screamed loudly in my ears.

  “Jesse.”

  I groaned. That voice.

  “Jesse!”

  I stirred awake. Sweat coated my skin, making my pajamas cling to my body. Looking around the room frantically, I realized that I was no longer at Allan’s. I was free. Safe.

  Rave was looking down at me, his eyes filled with concern.

  My heart was beating wildly against my chest and my hair was matted to my forehead. “What…what happened?”

  “You were having another nightmare,” Rave said gently, pulling me tight against him.

  I sighed and snuggled up to him, trying to fall asleep again. My stomach twisted with anxiety as memories of the past week crashed into my head.

  It had been a week since Ren and Rave had taken me away from my step father’s place and a week since he had been put behind bars. After I testified, Rave couldn’t get me out of the courtroom fast enough. I never wanted to see Allan again and having the video proof of him attacking would make sure of it.

  Rave and I didn’t go back to school. It was probably stupid on our parts to drop out of school when there were only weeks left until we graduated, but people knew about Allan and what he had done to me. Rave set it up that we both did correspondence instead. I tried insisting that he go back but he wanted to be with me. We would work together to get our diploma. It would be through the mail so we wouldn’t have to face anyone and it would be on my own time.

  Ren went on with his daily life for the time being, working in the tattoo parlor. Rave helped him and left me to my own thing. Everything in my life had changed, except for these damn nightmares.

  I took a deep breath and wiped the hair off of my face, my hands shaking. “Rave, I…” Tears threatened to escape and I bit back a sob.

  “Shhh…“It’s ok, baby. He can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe. I’m here and I’m never letting you go.”

  I rolled over and grabbed onto him, pressing against his hard body. I gripped him like he was my lifeline and I would drown without him. I assumed that as time went on, I would eventually get over everything that had happened but so far, I was wrong. As each day passed, my nightmares were getting worse and worse. It was like fear was permanently etched into my brain and even though Allan was in jail, I was still terrified of him. “I just want these nightmares to stop.”

  Rave ran a hand down my back soothingly and kissed my head. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

  I turned onto my side and pulled his arm over me, curling our fingers together. “I think I need to talk to your sister.”

  He kissed my shoulder and nodded. “Okay. Whenever you are ready, just let me know.” He placed an arm under my head and hugged me to him. Protecting me from the onslaught of my nightmares. “I love you, baby,” he whispered.

  My heart swelled. I don’t think I would ever get used to hearing him say that. “I love you, too.”

  “I love hearing those words come out of your mouth.” His voice deepened and he released my hand, running his fingers down my side to my hip.

  I turned onto my stomach and trailed kisses up his arm that was still under my head, until I reached his waiting mouth.

  I licked his full bottom lip and cupped his cheek. I deepened the kiss, pushing my tongue in between his lips.

  He groa
ned and ran a hand up the back of my leg. “Jesse.”

  “I just want to forget. Please.”

  He hesitated before his fingers caressed the sensitive skin under the flesh of my ass, making goose pimples rise on my skin.

  I ran my fingers through his nape and lightly tugged at his hair.

  He growled against my mouth and pulled down my panties.

  I lifted my hips as he pulled them completely off of me and I inwardly jumped for joy that the fear from my nightmares were slowly receding the more Rave touched me.

  He released my mouth and trailed kisses down my jaw to my shoulder, lightly nipping as he went. My body hummed and ached for him but I waited patiently, anticipating on what he would do next.

  He rose to his knees and moved behind me, gently massaging my skin. He lifted my shirt, and pulled it off of me, leaving me naked under him.

  I stretched my arms out under the pillow and sighed in peaceful bliss as he pleased my body.

  He moved my hair from my nape and kissed my neck, his hot breath scorching my skin. “Are you okay?”

  I smiled. “Better with every second.”

  Rave kissed my arm and curled a hand in mine. He spread my legs with his other hand, running his fingers lightly over my center before slowly thrusting one into me.

  My breathing picked up and I squeezed my eyes shut, my heart racing against my chest.

  He removed his fingers and trailed kisses over my upper back. “Baby, look at me.”

  Doing as he said, I opened my eyes and stared into his green depths. “Rave?”

  “Yeah?” he asked, placing small kisses on my shoulder.

  “I love you,” I whispered.

  “I love you.” He smiled and slowly sank into me, filling me completely.

  ***

  “You are amazing,” Rave whispered against my lips.

  I giggled and sighed feeling completely satisfied. I was sore and my muscles twitched from the overuse but it felt good, none the less, and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. “I didn’t really do anything.”

  “Oh baby, you did more than you know.” He kissed me one last time before rising from the bed. I curled under the covers, watching him walk to the bathroom naked.

  The muscular tone of his backside made my mouth salivate and before closing the door behind him, he turned to me and winked.

  My cheeks flushed and I snuggled into my pillow. Hearing the shower turn on, I got an idea and headed into the bathroom. Rave was just about to step under the hot spray when he saw me enter. I smiled and he held his hand out to me.

  I grabbed a hold of his hand as he pulled me into an embrace. Kissing me hard, the next thing I knew, hot water rained over my body not even realizing we had entered the shower.

  Releasing Rave’s mouth, I ran a hand down his cheek. I wanted to stay in that moment forever. I was with the one that I loved. I was relaxed. My nerves no longer getting the best of me and I was happy. He made me feel good. Taught me things about myself that I never thought was possible. He helped me forget and no matter what happened, I would always be thankful to him for that.

  Chapter 36

  That afternoon, after our very wonderful morning, we pulled up in front of the hospital where my mother was at. Nervous butterflies soared through my body at the thought that she was in there and at how long it had been since I saw her or talked to her. Images of that horrible night flashed through my mind. It had been months since the accident but it only felt like the day before.

  I had called Officer Pike to see if he was able to get the information for me on where my mother was and thankfully, he succeeded.

  Before heading to the hospital, Rave took me to a clothing store to buy a new outfit to try and brighten my spirits even though he had done that earlier. My body flushed at the memories and I couldn’t wait to do it again. I settled on a white summer dress, a coral cardigan and flip-flops. Now that I could start dressing like a girl and not have to worry about anyone hurting me again, I did.

  “Rave, I can’t do this.” I turned to him as he pulled into a parking spot outside the small building.

  “Baby, it’ll be fine. I’ll be right here with you.” He grabbed my hand and placed a kiss on my knuckles.

  I took a deep breath and turned back to the hospital. My mom was in there, walking around. Awake. Angry tears burned my eyes knowing that she was awake all of this time but Allan had never told me. “But…what if she hates me? What if she doesn’t want to see me? What if…” Tears rolled down my cheeks at that thought.

  “Jesse.” Rave grabbed my face in his hands and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “She could never hate you.”

  “But…”

  “I promise you.” He kissed my forehead and got out of the car. He walked around to my side and opened the door for me, holding out his hand. I hesitated before placing my hand in his. I stepped out of the car and stared up at the small hospital in front of us. It was modern with windows lining the walls.

  My heart raced against my chest, blood pounding in my ears.

  Rave stood beside me and rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand.

  “I…I…” I stuttered. I took a deep breath and tried again. “Don’t leave my side, please. Rave, whatever happens, please stay with me.”

  He hugged me close and walked us up the steps. “You have my word, baby. I won’t leave. Ever.” He kissed my head.

  We walked hand in hand into the building, knowing that in a couple of moments, my world would change forever. I just didn’t know how much.

  ***

  “Can I help you?” A lady sporting blonde hair and a fake tan much like the Triple M’s, looked up at me from behind her reception desk. She wore a business suit tailored too tight for her and she kept making googly eyes at Rave.

  I rolled my eyes and huffed. “Yes, I’m here to see my mother.”

  “And who would that be?” she asked without taking her eyes off of Rave.

  I cleared my throat and moved my head into her field of vision. She startled and frowned. “Good, now that I have your attention, I’m here to see Jackie Dawson.”

  “What floor?” she asked, huffing.

  “How am I supposed to know that?” I snapped.

  “Jesse,” Rave said softly.

  I ignored him.

  The receptionist glared at me and typed away on her computer. “Fifth floor but she’s not accepting any visitors.”

  “That’s fine.” I turned and tugged Rave’s hand.

  “Only immediate family can see her.” The receptionist called out.

  “I’m her daughter.” I yelled back.

  Rave chuckled beside me. “You getting jealous is really hot, you know,” he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

  I bit my inner cheek to keep from smiling. “Yeah well…” I cleared my throat.”

  “You have nothing to worry about, baby. I only have eyes for you,” he whispered in my ear.

  My cheeks heated, heart swelling with adoration for Rave. God, I loved him. Biting back a sigh, I led the way down the hall. Each step I took, knowing that in a couple of moments, I’d be seeing my mother again, my body felt heavier and heavier, like I was being weighed down with bricks.

  “Deep breaths, Jesse. It’ll be fine,” Rave said, encouragingly.

  I looked up at him as we reached the elevators and he smiled warmly at me.

  Once we stepped into the elevator and the door closed, Rave pushed me up against the wall. A gasp escaped my lips as he covered my mouth with his, pushing his hard body against mine. I moaned as his tongue explored my mouth, controlling, teasing. He ran his hands down my body to my hips, pulling me flush against him. Squeezing, kneading as they roamed over me. The elevator stopped and Rave released me, leaving me dizzy and light headed.

  He grabbed my hand and tugged me beside him as people entered the elevator. “I like seeing your lips swollen from my kisses.” He whispered in my ear.

  My skin heated from his words and knowing that jus
t a moment ago, he had me up against the wall kissing the life out of me, made me all the more frazzled. When the elevator reached the fifth floor, we got off and headed to another reception desk. “What was that for?” I asked Rave.

  He smirked. “I wanted to get your mind off of things and that was the only way I knew how. I had to think quickly.”

  My cheeks heated. “Well it worked, thank you.”

  “You are always welcome.” The way he was looking at me with heat in his eyes, made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl in the world.

  Once reaching the receptionist who was older and seemed friendlier then the first one, I held Rave’s hand tightly in mine.

  “Hi dears. How can I help you?” Her smile brightened up her face, reaching her eyes. She reminded me of Mrs. Johnson. An ache formed in the pit of my belly. I missed her.

  “Jesse?”

  Rave’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “Sorry. We’re here to see my mom, Jackie Dawson.”

  The older woman’s eyes widened. “Oh goodness. We thought you would never show. I’m so glad you’re here.”

  Surprise struck me like a blow to the chest. “What do you mean? Is everything okay?”

  She rose from her seat, quickly came around the desk and wrapped me in a hug. “We were so worried about you.”

  I frowned. “About me?”

  The older woman held me at arm’s length and looked down at me. Wrinkles marred her pale skin but she was beautiful. “Jackie talks about you nonstop. She’s so proud of you and the things you’ve accomplished.”

  “I…I don’t know what you mean.” My heart sped up against my chest. I had no idea what was going on.

  “Maybe I can explain.” A deep voice came from behind us.

  I turned and saw a middle aged man sporting a black suit, red tie and a briefcase. Wrinkles crinkled at the corners of his eyes. He smiled warmly at me. His hair was greying and his bright blue eyes shone with excitement like he had a secret and couldn’t wait to share it.

  “Who are you?” Rave asked.

  “I’m Stanley Dawson. You’re uncle, Jesse.”

  My eyes widened. “My uncle?” I had family besides my mom?