Heart's Desire

by Sorcha MacMurrough

  Sinead smiled at Dr. Jameson's assessment of Austin. Mr. Riordan could give definitely give a peacock a few lessons.

  "I'll take that as a sympathetic smile, then. It took a lot of courage for him to ask for help. I'm not trying to browbeat you into agreeing, I simply want to say that underneath the swagger, there's a good man. And that we would like to help him in his predicament if we can.

  "And let's face it, we're also anxious to please him because we need him so desperately for the new wing and all the renovations. So it's within the interests of the entire hospital that he's fit and healthy again soon, that he stays that way and that he is happy here at the hospital until his job is done.

  " I know he can be difficult at times. I'm sure you've heard the stories and that's why you're balking, despite your wonderful compassionate nature. But really, he's a good man. He can just get a bit carried away with his vision of perfection at times."

  "That's exactly what I'm worried about. I'm certainly not perfect," she said, gratefully seizing on Dr. Jameson's reason for her declining.

  Dr. Jameson grinned. "Surely you're not fishing for compliments, my dear? I would give you a whole boatload if we had time. But suffice it to say, you're great at your job and you know it. So I've already explained how much it would mean to Austin while he's coming to terms with all of the changes he's going to have to make in his life and how much it would mean to me personally. I count Austin as a friend and I can't think of putting him in any better hands than yours."

  "Thank you, but—"

  "So let's look at things from your side. I know you're a dedicated nurse, eager to help. Clearly you reservations stem from Austin, who is, as I've said, a bit of a difficult perfectionist. But I know you're not one to listen to idle gossip and you've got a thick enough skin that even if he does get into a tizzy from time to time over his newly-imposed lifestyle changes, you'll be able to get him back on track. It's for his own good, after all."

  "You're very kind, but—"

  Dr. Jameson pressed on, clearly determined to get his own way. "From your own point of personal point of view, you'll benefit financially. I know you don't care about the money, but it's always good to have a little nest egg. And yes, I know it's a big sacrifice. Asking you to give up your vacation at such short notice doesn't seem fair, especially when you work so hard.

  "But I'll be honest with you, I'm not just asking because I'm worried about Austin. I'm asking for you, too."

  "Me?"

  "I know how hard you've been working, my dear. I know you'd love to have a rest. But the truth is, I think this would be really good for you. The holidays can be a trying time for many people and I'm concerned you might brood a bit too much being at home full time with your sister Maeve. With Austin, you'll keep busy, do your job and get out among different people."

  She shifted in the armchair nervously. "What makes you think I need new people? I get dozens in the hospital."

  "No, my dear," Dr. Jameson said, shaking his head. "We all need to feel in tune with people. Your dealings with people are very professional, but therefore very distanced. Austin is an interesting man and very good company. You could do worse than to have a couple of weeks in the country with such an intelligent man."

  Sinead must have looked slightly shocked, for Dr. Jameson said hastily, "Damn, now I sound as if I'm match-making. That isn't what I mean at all. I just mean that the change of scenery would do you good and also give Mike and Maeve some time on their own."

  Sinead hadn't thought about that before. Suddenly she realized that with the baby due soon, they might indeed enjoy their last couple of months of peace together without her in the way. She wanted to kick herself for her lack of sensitivity, and immediately put apartment-hunting on her list of things to do over Christmas.

  "Well, Dr. Jameson, I must say that I appreciate your concern for Mr. Riordan, the hospital, and even for me. But the truth is, I don't really feel all that comfortable about the arrangements. After all, I hardly know Mr. Riordan, and a girl can't be too careful nowadays."

  "Sinead, don't try to fool an old man. I know you're perfectly capable of looking after yourself. But with any luck, you won't have to. You'll be too busy looking after Austin Riordan. So please say yes."

  Sinead couldn't resist Dr. Jameson's plea for assistance. She owed him too much after all the years she had relied on him to pick up the pieces when things got tough with Luke. He had taken her back in August with open arms and not too many embarrassing questions. She just couldn't let him down now.

  "Then the answer will have to be yes, Dr. Jameson."

  "Thank you my dear, that's marvelous. Come now, we'll go tell Austin you've agreed, and you can make arrangements together."

  "I was just..." Sinead stalled, but Dr. Jameson insisted, taking her arm and raising her from the chair. "He's anxious to be released from hospital tomorrow, so after Dr. Sheridan gives him the once over, he'll be ready to go. You'll need to get the insulin and some advice from Dr. Maguire, our specialist."

  Dr. Jameson had already got her halfway down the hall to Austin's room before she could argue, so there was nothing else to do but face the handsome architect again.

  At least this time when Sinead entered the room, she didn't find Austin in a passionate clinch with any buxom woman.

  "Here she is," Dr. Jameson announced. After putting Sinead's hand into Austin's, he remarked, "I'm so glad we've got everything sorted out," and left Sinead literally in the huge man's clutches.

  Sinead expected Austin to look smug, or triumphant. He merely fished in his bedside cabinet while she gently eased her hand away and offered her a set of keys.

  "I know you can drive the Jag, so take it home tonight and pack up whatever you'd like to take to my home with you. I should be finished here by eleven. I'll meet you here and you can drive us both home. You can keep the car for as long as you like. You'll need it out in the Killyfassy Forest."

  "Yes, Mr. Riordan," Sinead said, trying to keep her tone impersonal and professional. "Thank you for your consideration of me, though I do have a car of my own."

  "The Jag likes being driven, and I like my comfort," Austin said simply. "Go home now, and I'll see you tomorrow."

  She thought she detected a hint of anger in his tone, but to comment upon it might only provoke another argument. So she bid him a quick good night and fled.

  As she finally left the hospital, Sinead reasoned that Austin was probably piqued at having been kept waiting for her decision. Well, if he expected her to run every time he crooked his little finger, she resolved, Austin Riordan would be sorely disappointed!

  Chapter Seven

  Sinead hunted around in the dark car park for the black Jaguar, and finally remembered where she had left it. It started smoothly, and she felt a thrill of delight as it glided elegantly out of the gates. The weather had worsened since morning, and she was glad of the comfort and security of the powerful car. Her own Mini certainly didn't like cold weather or snow, and of course it was sensible for Sinead to drive Austin back home to Killyfassy Forest in the huge luxury car. It was about two hours drive away, over some rather rough, bleak terrain. With snow predicted, she might have got there in the Mini, but certainly not have got back.

  But Sinead had other things to worry about, not least of which was how she was going to break the news to Maeve that her holiday had been cancelled and she was going to have to stay at Austin Riordan's house for the next two weeks.

  As she trotted up the stairs to her front door, she thought about fibbing and simply saying she'd decided to go away after all. But Sinead didn't like lying to her sister. In any case, the Jaguar would certainly require some sort of explanation. And Mike would wonder where she was if she was gone from the hospital and never there at the house for two weeks.

  "I'm home!" she called, pushing in through the entrance.

  She heard furtive scrambling sounds in the living room as she took off her coat.

  Maeve came out looking rather flu
stered, and Mike appeared a moment later, tucking in his shirt. Sinead, for the first time since she had moved in, felt very much in the way and apologized for interrupting.

  "Don't be silly," Maeve laughed. "We were just falling asleep in front of the roaring fire Mike treated us to."

  Sinead thought the explanation was a bit too transparent, though she knew her sister meant it kindly. She thought that this would be the best time to make her announcement, so that she could avoid any protestations they would try to make.

  "I'm glad you're both here, because I've had an offer to work out of town for the next fortnight. I think I should take it."

  Maeve opened her mouth, but Sinead cut her off. "I know what you're going to say about my promising to help you decorate and keep you company, but Mike is on duty at the conference for the next two weeks, so you'll have time to do up the house together now that he'll be off night shifts. The extra money I earn will go towards lots of great things for the baby."

  Mike managed to get a word in and said with obvious concern, "But you need a rest. Plus I can speak for both of us when I say we'll miss you around the house. It's too generous of you to offer your wages. We'd rather have you here with us."

  Sinead smiled, but she felt guilty about having been in the way for so long. She'd felt too sorry for herself to see things from the young couple's point of view.

  "Look, Mike, I know you mean it, but I haven't really got much of a choice. Dr. Jameson insisted I take the post."

  "Why?"

  "Because it's for Austin Riordan. To get him used to his new lifestyle as a diabetic," Sinead sighed, hoping she didn't look too worried.

  Mike was silent for a moment.

  Maeve, looking puzzled, asked, "Who's Austin Riordan?"

  "The hospital architect, and an impossible man to work with," Mike replied, with a shake of his head. "Sinead, are you sure about this? I mean, he must be grateful to you for your help yesterday, but living under the same roof sounds like trouble to me."

  "Maeve, you'll have to forgive me for using you husband as a bodyguard, but after your visit to me in ICU yesterday, Mike, Austin Riordan is convinced that we're living together, as in a couple in love."

  "What?" Maeve and Mike chorused.

  "It was the remark about my jasmine bath essence, and bringing us home a take away that convinced him. I have no intention of setting the record straight."

  Mike chuckled.

  Sinead knew he would stop worrying now. "Since he's convinced you're the man in my life, I'm sure he has no nefarious designs upon me. I think it's best I go. He needs me, you'll have some privacy and we'll all enjoy spending the king's ransom he's going to pay me for using him as a pin cushion."

  Maeve asked her husband anxiously, "Do you think it'll be all right?"

  "Of course, dear," Mike reassured her. "Sinead hasn't been given much choice, if we have to keep him sweet at the hospital, but she can take care of herself. Good luck, darling, and give us a ring if you have any bother. I can always do the jealous boyfriend bit if things get sticky and you want to come home before the two weeks are over."

  "Don't worry. I've got his Jaguar at my disposal for the duration, so if he does give me any trouble, I'll be out of there like a shot," Sinead promised. "And now I'd better start getting ready. See you both later."

  She went upstairs to pack, glad to be alone at last. She could not help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Mike and Maeve shared so much together. In spite of all her years with Luke, she had never felt the contentment she could see in Maeve.

  Perhaps she wasn't capable of happiness. There was lust, which men such as Luke and Austin provoked in women, but it soon spent itself, and left nothing but ashes of regret where the flames had once burned so brightly.

  Then there were marriages of convenience, for home, family, settling down. Maeve and Mike had the spark of desire with the fullness of true companionship. Despite the many men Sinead had met throughout the years, not one of them had ever seemed to meet both her needs.

  Perhaps now that she was thirty-two, she would have to make a choice between one or the other. But she'd thought she had desire, obsession, yet it had proved a disaster from start to finish. And though Sinead was not a real romantic, she hoped that she was not yet desperate enough to settle for the next pleasant man who came along.

  No, she was better off on her own, than compromising and settling for second or third best. She could never let Austin sweep her off her feet, even if he were interested, or available. Perhaps Sinead might meet someone else one day who could send her senses reeling and keep her guessing the way he did. But for the present she had a job to do, and do it she must.

  Sinead packed a few uniforms, some warm casual clothes, and as a rather wistful after-thought, two special dresses. Finally, she packed her make-up and a few good books and her embroidery, and brought her cases downstairs to the car.

  Sinead ate a quick supper with Mike and Maeve and then headed back upstairs with a hot water bottle as the snow began to fall in wispy flakes outside her window. She planned to go to sleep early and have a good long sleep in the morning, but she lay awake for a long time after the lights were out, recalling the surprising events of the day. As she drifted off to sleep, she wondered for the hundredth time whether she had made the right decision to go stay with the domineering Austin Riordan.

  Chapter Eight

  Sinead awakened to the sound of the front door slamming downstairs. She remained blissfully warm under her down comforter until she suddenly realised what the noise had been. Mike had left for work. Sitting bolt upright, she fumbled for the alarm clock, and realised angrily that it hadn't gone off. It was already nine, and Austin was expecting her at eleven. She had wanted to see the specialist and work out some special menus before she took him home. And of course they would have to go over his insulin requirements as well.

  Sinead jumped out of bed and padded across her room to the wardrobe. She peered out of the window. The sky looked wintry, so she took out her warmest and most fashionable cardigan to wear over her uniform, and trousers and a scrub top instead of her usual dress and apron.

  After dressing, she brushed her dark hair into a mass of luxurious soft waves which she left cascading down her back, and debated whether or not she should wear make-up. In the end she decided on a bare minimum. She was not going to give Austin any encouragement, for he hadn't seemed to require any at all where she was concerned. But nor did she want to look washed out, though she had hardly slept last night for worrying about what she had let herself in for agreeing to go live with Austin and act as his nurse.

  Sinead hastily gave her room the once over to see if there was anything she had left behind, and skipped downstairs, where she was greeted by the aroma of freshly-brewed coffee.

  "Well, you do seem cheerful today!" Maeve said, eying her sister with envy not untinged with concern. Sinead certainly looked lovely today-she always did. But she should have looked annoyed at missing her holiday, not delighted at the prospect of working for the "Creature of Castlemaine" as Mike had playfully dubbed Austin Riordan.

  "Sinead, are you sure you'll be all right all the way out in the Killyfassy Forest? " Maeve asked uneasily, as her sister poured a cup of coffee and plopped down on a chair.

  "Of course I will! Don't be silly. If anything, you should be worried about yourself. I really am awfully sorry I won't be here, after all the plans we'd made together," she apologized, hugging her sister warmly. "But you and Mike can have some time alone, and I'll be earning more in two weeks than I get in two months! The spending spree I'll treat you to will be worth all the hours I'll have to spend nursing His Highness."

  "You know you're never in the way. We'll both miss you around the house, and don't you dare think otherwise." Maeve hesitated. "Sinead, I just want to say how proud I am at the way you've bounced back, after the hard times you've had over the past few years with Luke. Mike and I were only too glad to be there to pick up the pieces."

  "Ther
e almost weren't any to pick up, Maeve," Sinead said with a wry smile.

  Her sister shivered delicately. "I know. Please don't remind me. But if you aren't happy here, we would understand. Otherwise, we're looking forward to you being the world's best auntie. Perhaps one day you'll find yourself someone special. Just be careful. I don't want you to get hurt even more than you've already been."

  Sinead laughed. "Not much chance of that, my dear! Unless every bone in my body gets broken this time!"

  "Don't even say that as a joke. Besides, you know what I mean. Emotional wounds can hurt a lot more in some ways."

  "Don't worry, I'm not in any danger of any involvement, and I'm sure Austin Riordan has other things on his mind."