Withstanding Me

by Crystal Spears

  “SON OF A FUCKIN BITCH!”

  I hop over to one of the chairs and flop down. The nail is sticking into the bottom of my boot. Just stuck there. I know it’s the rubber of my sole keeping it in place, but fuck if I ain’t pissed.

  “Mason… what’s wrong?”

  I look up to see Storm with a worried expression and my anger slightly fades away.

  “I stepped on a fuckin nail,” I groan.

  She smirks before looking on the floor in front of me and kneeling.

  “Give it.” She gestures to my foot.

  Storm gives me no warning before yanking the nail out with her tiny hands, and it takes everything I have not to kick her in the damn face from the pain she just caused me. I hold in that pissed off move as she removes my boot and sock.

  “It’s barely a flesh wound you big ass baby,” she laughs.

  “You go step on a fuckin nail,” I grumble and yank my foot away.

  She sighs. “I’m sorry.”

  “Whatever,” I respond, putting my sock and boot back on.

  “Tatiana is gonna help with the wedding planning. You didn’t respond to my text, so I didn’t know if you got it or not.”

  I did get it, and yes, I’m an asshole who didn’t respond.

  “Musta not heard my phone,” I lie, re-lacing my boot.

  “Yeah, must not have,” she murmurs standing. “I’ll see ya ZZ.”

  Why does she have this ability? The ability to make my jackassery known?

  Pyro flops down in the chair beside me with a fifth in his hand.

  “You’re a fuckin dumbass,” he says simply before tilting the bottle to his lips.

  “Yeah, why’s that?”

  “Because she wants you and you want her. That fuckin simple brother. One day, all the decisions you’ve ever made about staying away from her are gonna eat your insides all fuckin up. One day you’re gonna regret it and one day you’re gonna be pissed you didn’t take advantage of that time.”

  What the hell am I supposed to say to that? One wrong word and I can offend him and Lana, and I don’t wanna fuckin do that.

  “Maybe.”

  And I leave it at that.

  “It ain’t no maybe, brother. You will. Mark my fuckin words, you will,” he murmurs standing back up and walking away.

  What. The. Fuck.

  ***

  Winter

  I’m talkin with one of the foremen on the construction crew when I hear Pyro’s words and voice gut through me like that blade did months back.

  I release the foreman to go back to work, and I chase after Pyro.

  “Pyro,” I call as I run and he doesn’t stop, even though I know he hears me. I reach him and yank on his cut. “Don’t fuckin walk away from me when I’m callin for you.”

  His body stops moving, and his voice comes out heated and angry. A few months ago, that type of angered voice might have scared me, but not now. “If you weren’t my president’s girl so help me, Winter.”

  “Yeah, yeah you woulda smacked me or some shit. Whatever… are you doin okay?”

  His body swings around so fast it almost gives me whiplash.

  “Am I fuckin okay? You must be fuckin jokin. I swear I know you’re not that fuckin stupid Winter. When I can stop seeing Lana with blood all over her fuckin body, gasping her last fuckin breaths… maybe then will I be okay.”

  I gulp. “I miss her too.”

  “You had her longer than I did,” he replies.

  How does that make a difference?

  “That doesn’t matter Pyro. We both loved her.”

  “Yeah? Well I didn’t get to love her long enough. A hundred motherfuckin years wouldn’t have been long enough!”

  I gasp when I see Braxxon approaching us, looking like a ball of fire ready to burn a victim.

  ***

  Braxxon

  My vice president’s voice grows loud. I stop talking numbers with Max.

  “What the fuck?”

  My feet carry me quickly as I spot Pyro and Angel in a heated discussion. He fuckin knows better than to talk to my Angel like that!

  What the fuck is his fuckin problem?

  “Braxx… baby, it’s okay. We were talkin about Lana,” Angel says grabbing me by my shoulders as I square off with Pyro.

  “Let me tell you what’s not okay, baby. What’s not okay is my fuckin vice president who is my fuckin best friend to be talkin to my woman like that! It’s not fuckin okay.”

  Pyro looks at me. “Let me tell you what’s not okay, brother,” Pyro growls. “What’s not okay is your woman askin me if I’m okay. That shits not okay! My fuckin business is my goddamn own! Not your fuckin girlfriend’s.”

  What the hell is going on here? I pull Angel closer to me and look into her gold eyes.

  “What happened?” I say quietly, my anger subsiding.

  “I just asked if he was okay. I heard him talking with ZZ about Storm and something he said worried me. I swear, I only asked if he was okay.”

  “My business is my own goddamned business, Braxxon. She has no right fuckin asking me personal shit. Get your fuckin woman under control!”

  Angel and I have been working on this breathing technique shit. You know, to try and rein in our anger issues. So… I do just that. I breathe in a few fuckin times before replying.

  “I see. So I’m sure Lana would love the way you’re talkin to her best friend like this?”

  Low blow? Maybe. Do I give a flyin fuck? No.

  “Braxxon,” Winter gasps out.

  “It’s the fuckin truth Angel. Lana would not approve of him talkin to you like that and I sure as fuck don’t approve of my brother talkin to you like that.”

  ***

  Pyro

  FUCK!

  He has a fuckin point as always. But I’m still fuckin pissed. What the fuck is happenin to this club? Since when did women get to just go up to us, and ask us if we’re doin okay?

  I’m not fuckin apologizing. Fuck that. They still have one another. Do I still have my Flower? FUCK NO!

  She’s gone. She ain’t comin back. When I look down at my hands, I don’t see clean hands. I see bloodied up fuckin hands. Bloody from my Flower dying in my arms. Her lasts words to me keep playin over and over in my fuckin head. No matter what, it doesn’t go away. Drinking is the only time her voice doesn’t ring loud in my ears. The only time it muffles out so I can barely hear them. My brother still has his Angel. He still gets to hold her, make love to her, grow old with her. I don’t wish this pain on anybody. Not even my worst enemy. Lana and I didn’t get much time together. We didn’t get to learn everything about one another.

  Braxxon’s voice wakes me from my thoughts.

  “Don’t fuckin’ talk to her like that again, brother. I don’t give a fuck if you’re my best friend or not. I’ll lay your ass out,” Braxxon growls.

  Jesus!

  “I don’t need this shit,” I murmur and walk away.

  Fuck everyone. Fuck them all!

  ***

  Storm

  I’m making my way through the parking lot to my car when Pyro storms past me. I watch as he straddles his bike and throttles it to start. The idiot has a fifth in his hands as he drives outta the compound.

  This is my life now. I’ve chosen to stay here with my best friend, the one who helped save me. I need to remind myself that this is the crazy shit I’ll see on a daily basis. Nothing should shock me.

  What would make this choice a lot more bearable is if ZZ would just give it up already. Just hand me his heart. I would take care of it. I would guard it with everything that I am. Winter has paired him and me as a couple in the wedding. How she plans to gather them bikers up for a rehearsal is beyond me. I can’t wait to see how that plays out. I’m about to open my car door when Tatiana hollers my name.

  “Hey T. What’s up,” I ask.

  “Nothing. Just came to see dad. Ya know… so he knows I’m alive and all,” she grins.

  “Well he’s in there�
�,” I trail off.

  “His mood,” she asks.

  “Shit,” I reply honestly.

  She laughs. “Always.”

  I nod.

  “Well I gotta get goin. Winter signed me up for those night classes to finish getting my degree.” I tell her reaching for my door handle again.

  “Yeah, have fun with that. My classes don’t start till next semester.”

  “I plan too,” I shake my head with a smile. I don’t mind school. I like learning. School was my escape from my tragically drunk ass mother. That bitch is toxic.

  “Later Storm,” Tatiana says walking away.

  “Bye T.”

  ***

  Tatiana

  As I walk away from Storm, I immediately get sad for her. My father is such a stubborn fool. I may only be eighteen, but I can tell she’s head over heels in love with him. I lied to Storm just now. I didn’t come to let dad know I’m still alive. I like him to worry about me. Yeah it’s a spoiled brat thing to do, but he causes me worry all the damn time. Like worrying about him being alone for the rest of his life. It’s good for him to worry. It reminds him that he’s not invincible. That just because he’s the damn road captain of this club, doesn’t make him invincible. Bad shit happens no matter who or what you are. I spot the reason I came to the compound at the bar with his shades on, twirling a shot glass around as he watches the monitors. Shadow.

  I go to the serving side of the bar, lean against it right in front of him, and smile. I want him. I want him so bad.

  “Hey handsome.” I smile even bigger.

  “Tatiana,” he greets back rather curtly, causing my smile to turn into a frown.

  “You’ve stopped following me. I know because I can’t feel you anymore.”

  “T… baby… I’m not playing this game right now.”

  “Why are you doing this?” I say in a whisper.

  I don’t see the problem. Why does he keep pushing me away?

  “You don’t belong in my world, T.”

  Tears sting my eyes. That hurt. More than I care to admit.

  “I don’t belong in your world? News flash Shadow, I already live in this fucking world.”

  “Goddammit, T. You know what I fuckin meant by that. Stop being a fuckin childish bitch!”

  I can’t believe he just said all of this to me. I stand straight and start backing away. He opens his mouth to say something, and I hold up my hand to stop him.

  “Just don’t okay. I get it.”

  My body turns and I flee away, humiliated by his words.

  ***

  Shadow

  FUCK!

  I throw my sunglasses onto the bar and start rubbing my eyes. Fuckin colored contacts, I need to stop wearing them. I only wear them to hide my black eyes.

  My thoughts move back to Tatiana who is a pain in my damn ass. I don’t understand what she’s trying to accomplish by diggin into my side life. She’s gonna get hurt is what’s gonna happen. If someone were to ask me to explain the shit going on between Tatiana and me, my answer’d confuse them. There’s no doubt I want that girl. No doubt at fuckin all. But it’s my past and the other side of my life that has me, and even her dad skeptical. I don’t fuckin blame him from warning me off of T. I would too if I were a father.

  “You’re a jackass, Shadow.”

  What the hell? I look over and see Bom Bom standing there with her arms crossed glaring at me.

  “Shut the fuck up,” I growl.

  “Oh my bad, did I hit a nerve?”

  That cunt!

  “You got two seconds to get the fuck away from me bitch,” I growl standing up, replacing my sunglasses.

  “God. I don’t know why the fuck I hang around here. You leather fucktards are all assholes!” She huffs.

  “And you’re just a muffler bunny who likes to suck cock. We’re all a little fucked up, baby.”

  “Damn brother, what crawled up your ass?” ZZ says as he walks to the bar fridge for a beer.

  “Fuck. Nothing. Your daughter just left.”

  “At least she’s still alive,” he murmurs popping the cap on his beer.

  I walk away without another word to Bom Bom and ZZ. I need to clear my head; I need to go to my fucked up happy place.

  ***

  Chapter 9

  Storm

  It’s been two weeks since the construction started on the clubhouse compound. Winter, Piper, Tatiana, and I are sitting in the mom and pop restaurant around the corner from the compound, eating lunch and finishing up the touches to Winter’s wedding. Two weeks ago, Winter almost ripped off Braxxon’s dick with Raps patch party too. Inviting the Breakneck Lady Charter was not smart at all. I still laugh thinking about it.

  But obviously, everything is okay because the wedding is less than two weeks away.

  “So rehearsal is just nine days away, Braxxon promises to have the brothers that are in the wedding there on time. Just pray shit doesn’t get fucked up before then,” Winter says before taking a bite of her grilled cheese sandwich. “So everything is in place. The compound is just two days away from being completed. I guess money does talk.”

  It does. She offered a lot more money to finish quickly. Grant you not, we have a lot of workers on the compound and I can say with absolute certainty that they’re all fuckin afraid of our biker men.

  “Dad’s gonna flip when he realizes he’s gotta walk down the aisle and shit. I can’t wait to see his face though when Storm’s all dressed up and lookin extra sexy.” Tatiana giggles, slurping her chocolate shake.

  So glad she thinks that’s funny. I already know my heart will be pounding in my chest the entire time. Not being able to touch him freely is gonna drive me absolutely insane. We’ve grown closer since he’s stopped trying to fuck me. We’ve been texting almost every day, and we talk and joke around like old friends like we’ve been doing it forever. Another reason I know we could work so well if he just gave me his heart.

  “I’m sorry Storm,” Tatiana apologizes.

  My face must’ve given me away. “It’s alright, T.”

  I hate when people pity me for loving a man who doesn’t love me back.

  “For what it’s worth, my dad’s an idiot.”

  “Thanks Tatiana,” I force out with a smile.

  “So final dress fittings are tomorrow and—.”

  Bullets pinging through the glass windows cut off Winter’s voice. Winter and Piper throw themselves onto the floor, and in slow motion, my head turns towards Tatiana. My body flies on top of hers and I send us sailing across the floor. Shards of glass cut my bare legs up as we skid across the marble floors.

  “Motherfuckers,” Winter roars, reaching for her gun, but it’s too late. The shooters speed off. The patrons of the diner are screaming so loud.

  “Tatiana! Look at me,” I demand. “Were you shot?” I ask examining her as I lift my body from hers. “Dammit!”

  “I’m… I’m okay. Promise,” she croaks out.

  “Piper,” I look over and see right away that she’s fine and I sigh with relief.

  “Fuck Storm, you’re bleeding all over the place,” Winter cries rushing over to me.

  I look down and sure enough, blood is pouring from my legs. “It’s just from the glass,” I try to reassure her, but it’s no use; she’s already bawling. We lost Haley and Lana by bullets. I can understand her reasoning to cry.

  “When will it ever end?” she cries while dialing Braxxon. “Babe we were just shot at.” She takes the phone away from her ear for a second. “Yeah, yeah, we’re okay. Storm’s a mess though. She’ll need the Doc. We’re at the mom and pop restaurant. I love you too.” She hangs up the phone and starts tearing pieces of her clothing off, tying them around my wounded legs.

  “Winter, I’m okay, really.” I try to swat her away with a small laugh.

  “Stop Storm, just stop. The guys are on their way and I’ll stay and talk to the cops. Braxxon wants you guys outta here.”

  No need to spell it out that
he wants this staying club business. I doubt any of these patrons have people wanting to shoot them.

  “Oh my god! Storm look at you,” Tatiana wails, finally waking up outta the stunned state she was just in. I’m thankful she’s wearing leather pants. She’s scrapped up but nothing like me.

  “I’m fine,” I say even though I feel a little lightheaded.

  “You’re not fucking fine. You’ve lost so much blood. I think you mighta punctured an artery.” Winter groans. “Oh shit.”

  What?

  “Huh?” I say.

  “Storm, there’s a large shard sticking outta your thigh. I can’t remove it. The Doc will have to do that. You need to lie back until the guys get here.” Winter cries.

  “I don’t feel so good,” I croak out.

  “This is all my fault. I’m so sorry Storm; I was just shocked,” Tatiana cries.

  I shake my head no; this is not her fault.

  Braxxon, ZZ, Pyro, Shadow, Sniper, and Smokey come barreling through the restaurant doors as Winter lays my head back on top her lap.

  I hear the sirens and I groan. Not in the mood to be poked and prodded at by EMT’s. I go to stand. I want outta here. I only want the Doc lookin at me and if I stay here, I don’t think even Braxxon can stop them from lookin at me.

  “Fuck me, this shit hurts,” I whine.

  “Dad,” Tatiana shouts and takes off running.

  “Shit, she’s gonna have to go to the hospital; that shit looks like it’s in there real good,” Braxxon growls.

  “It’s all my fault dad… I sat there… shit… I sat there like an idiot as bullets flew at us and Storm threw herself at me.

  “Tatiana stop it,” I whisper yell as I look up at ZZ. He’s standing with his daughter wrapped up in his arms and looking very green.

  Everything else just seems to fade away as our eyes lock. He pulls Tatiana away and checks her one more time for wounds I guess, before reconnecting our eyes and dropping to the floor next to me.

  “I’m good ZZ; just a little glass.” I say quietly.

  ZZ shakes his head back and forth in a ‘no’, as his fingers shakily reach towards my thigh with the shard of glass stuck in it.