Withstanding Me

by Crystal Spears

  “Well, we good then.”

  I shake my head. This is fuckin nuts. I have twin kids. Yeah, fuckin nuts.

  “Awesome and oh… don’t be hitting on Storm. She’s gonna be our step-mommy soon.”

  WHAT. THE. FUCK.

  Storm starts choking on her drink. I start patting her on the back because I feel the same fuckin way about that sentence.

  “Seriously? She’s almost our age.” Mace laughs.

  “Tatiana, baby girl, you’re getting ahead of yourself here.”

  God damn if Storm isn’t red in the face.

  “Babe, your dad and I are dating, and you’re grown, so I’m just gonna say it how it is. We’re fucking. Right now, that’s all this is.” Storm gestures between us.

  That pisses me off. We’re fuckin, and that’s all this is? Why the hell does that make me mad? I repeat her words over and over again in my head. Trying to make sense of them. We’re fucking. Right now that’s all this is. What the fuck? I don’t like that shit. It’s weighing on my mind something heavy. Goddammit! I said I would try. I would try at a relationship. Doesn’t that mean more than fucking? I don’t understand.

  I excuse myself to look for Piper who’s no longer at our table. She’ll tell me what this means. She’s all wise and shit. I locate her doing a crossword puzzle at the bar. I take a seat on the barstool and rip the puzzle outta her grasp.

  “What the fuck ZZ!”

  I toss the puzzle down the bar. I need her focus. Like right now. “Storm just said we’re fucking.” And I do that quotation thing with my hands. “Right now, that’s all this is. What the fuck does that mean?”

  Piper’s a smart girl. She reaches for a bottle of whiskey, pours me a shot, and slides it to me, setting the bottle on the bar top.

  “It means you’re both just fucking. She means you both are just fuckin one another, no one else.”

  I still don’t get it. Am I fuckin stupid here?

  “Still lost, Piper.” I guzzle down my shot.

  She sighs. “Look ZZ. She’s scared to fuckin death if she gets too clingy, you’re gonna run the other way.”

  I still don’t get it. I said I would try. Like with the whole relationship bullshit. Right on cue, I feel a small hand on my shoulder and Storm is at my side. I watch as Piper walks away, leaving us alone.

  “Hey… you okay?”

  How to answer that?

  “No.”

  Yeah, that does it.

  “Did I do something?” Her voice comes out hurt.

  “We’re just fuckin. Right now, that’s all this is,” I mimic her words with a growl while I pour myself another shot.

  “Mason,” she whispers. “We are just fucking one another right now. I don’t want to push you into something you don’t wanna be in.”

  That’s just the thing. I said I’d fuckin try. Fuckin try means more than just fucking.

  “I said I would try.” I growl, throwing back another shot.

  “Yeah, I get that,” she says still confused.

  “Goddammit Storm, fucking try means more than just fuckin. Fucking trying means involving feelings and shit. When you’re just fuckin, you don’t involve any feelings. So what is it that you want? Huh? Because here I am trying to feel for a woman who is just fucking me.”

  Oh, that makes me feel better. Who knew?

  “Oh,” She whispers again.

  Oh? Fucking ‘oh’? That’s all I get?

  “Mason…” She tries to get my attention, and I don’t look at her. I can’t. I’m fuckin mad. Her hand goes to my chest, and her fingers make an L. I close my eyes and reopen them as I finally turn towards her. I grab her wrist.

  “Say it.” I growl. I’m tired of this shit.

  “Say what?”

  Patience. Be patient ZZ.

  “Stop with the L shit on my chest and just say it.”

  She looks a little hurt until she figures out I just really wanna hear the words.

  “I love you?” she says it in a questionable manner. Fuck, we get nowhere.

  “Like you mean it.”

  She pulls her hand back, mad. “I do fucking mean it.”

  I don’t believe her, and I turn back towards the bar. She just wants to fuck me. All this shit about wanting me and shit. Fuckin women. And this is why I don’t like to feel. She sighs and walks away. At first, I think she’s leaving until she comes around the bar and climbs up. She scoots the bottle away and climbs into my lap. She lifts my face with her small hands, and she has tears in her eyes.

  “Mason Allen Dillan. I do love you. I do. I just don’t wanna scare you away. Okay? I want you to move at your own pace. I’m here. I already love you. The problem is I don’t want you to think you feel something for me just because I love you.”

  And we get somewhere. Fucking finally. I drop my head in between her tits and grip her waist, and I feel like I can breathe again.

  “Are we good?” She whispers, trailing her fingers through my hair. It feels so fucking good, so I just nod letting her continue. “Now as much as I love having your face in between my boobs… it’s killing my bruises baby.” She laughs and I quickly pull away, pissed at myself.

  “Fuck. I keep forgetting, sorry,” I grumble.

  “With my face battered up and my skin blue and purple… you keep forgetting.” She laughs.

  I guess it really doesn’t bother me. So I just shrug and say, “I can’t wait to fuck you again.”

  “There’s my ZZ.” She smiles, and I growl. “There’s my Mason.” She corrects herself.

  “Say it.”

  I wanna hear it again. So fuckin sue me.

  “I love you.” She grins; she looks so fuckin happy.

  I’m about to say something when Winter shrieks, “BRAXXON!” It echoes through the entire club.

  “Looks like your prez is home.” Storm smiles at me.

  Chapter 25

  ZZ

  Braxxon makes us all report to the clubhouse and him and Winter stay behind to lock up the club. Which is just code for ‘I’m gonna fuck my wife, and you bitches are just gonna wait on me’.

  We’re all at the compound in the old clubhouse. The women call it the madhouse. Whatever the fuck that means. Storm’s sitting in my lap and I’m rubbing her like no tomorrow. I just wanna get naked and play with her. Dammit. How long does it take to heal? And like she can read my mind, she answers me.

  “A few weeks Mason,” she giggles. “We can do other things until then.”

  Shit. I’m about to drag her away when Braxxon and Winter come walking in. Just my fucking luck.

  “Go talk with your Prez. I’ll be waiting naked in my room.” She laughs.

  Great. Now instead of focusing, I’m gonna be a walking commercial for Viagra. Storm being my Viagra.

  She must see me hesitating because she lifts off of my lap and stands. “Go.” She points with a smile. I get up and lightly smack her ass, and then walk away. I can’t touch her. If I even so much as kiss her, I wouldn’t be able to head into Chapel.

  I go to my side of the table and take a seat. When Braxxon finally enters, Rap wheels over with his wheelchair and shuts the doors.

  “Rap, need to get ya a woman to wheel around with on your lap. Man, that shit looks like it sucks.” Braxxon says with a chuckle, sitting down and smacking the gavel.

  “Laugh it up,” Rap mumbles.

  “First things first. Who the fuck is that mini ZZ look-alike out there?”

  Of course, that’s his first fuckin question. “That’s my son.”

  Braxxon studies me for a beat. “Gathered that. How the fuck?”

  I shrug. “Got Mira knocked up with twins. Bitch didn’t tell me.”

  That’s all he needs, and I’m right, because he understands Mira’s a cunt.

  “Blood test. If he’s hangin around my club and you want him into this shit. Blood test, brother.”

  Do I want my son around this? I already have one kid involved. And I do. I do want him to be a part of the clu
b. Will he want to be after this shit’s over? I dunno. But I wanna give the dude some options.

  I nod my understanding.

  “Russians. Two sets of them? What the fuck. Someone start explaining shit right now.”

  I listen to Pyro informing Braxxon of all our complications. It takes a good twenty minutes, and when he’s finally finished, Braxxon throws his back against his chair and groans.

  “So how you been keeping them at bay?”

  Good fucking question. We haven’t. He must see it written all over our faces because he scowls.

  “Seriously? The car accident was the only fucking thing?”

  We all nod.

  “I don’t like it. It’s too fuckin quiet. And Winter’s uncle is behind Travis taken a likin to our Tatiana?”

  Again, we all nod.

  “Yeah, it’s too fuckin quiet. Somethin is about to go down. So what’s with the Club Sated lockdown?”

  We all listen to Pyro explain our reasoning for that. He also explains that we haven’t told Winter yet.

  “Yeah, I’ll tell her. She’s less likely to rip my balls off.”

  He doesn’t say what happened in Vegas. And the saying ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ is true while he avoids it at all costs.

  “Uh, Winter bought a building for a spa.” I speak up. Everyone turns to me, and I shrug. It’s like pillow talk. Storm told me about it while we were lying in bed.

  Look at me using shit like pillow talk. I’ll be damned; I’m a taken man.

  “ANGEL,” Braxxon roars.

  The doors fling open and Braxxon motions with his hands to shut them behind her. She rolls her eyes and does what he wordlessly asks.

  “When were you gonna tell me you bought another fuckin building?”

  Her eyes grow and she scowls before hollering, “STORM!”

  What the fuck is this?

  Storm comes knocking on the doors. Winter opens them and slams them behind her.

  I point to Storm. “You’re supposed to be naked.”

  It’s true she is.

  “I was about to head that way. Why did I get hollered for? I haven’t done anything.”

  Winter turns on Storm. “You can’t be pillow talkin with him about shit we talk about until I talk to Braxxon.”

  I was right. It’s called pillow talkin. I’m understanding this relationship shit after all.

  “Wait. What?” Braxxon laughs. “When did this come about full affect?”

  I groan and ignore him.

  “Like I knew it was a big fuckin secret. Jesus, you need to get laid.” Storm huffs, opening one of the doors and letting it slam behind her.

  “God, I love her,” Winter laughs. “Look I was gonna tell you about it. But every time I talked to you, it was short.”

  I watch the guilty look spread across Braxxon’s face.

  “I have a question.”

  We all turn to Pyro. “When did this fuckin chapel become a tell all?”

  That’s a good question actually.

  “Since I got fuckin married and we all started taken on ol ladies, brother. Got a problem with that?”

  No one says a fuckin word. Braxxon’s tone is our queue to stay fuckin silent.

  “Speakin of ol’ ladies. Big fuckin elephant in the room, ZZ.” Braxxon raises his eyebrows at me.

  Oh no. Oh, fuck no.

  Am I ready for that? I don’t know. I don’t fuckin know. Shit!

  “Winter… GO!” Braxxon growls. He just called her Winter and not Angel, and she doesn’t miss a beat; she flies the fuck outta here.

  When the doors shut, Braxxon’s palms smack against the table, and he stands.

  “I’m gonna let you have a little longer to decide. But I’m gonna tell you how it is brother. I’m protecting her right now. Me! My fucking club. She’s like a sister to my Angel, and that is the only reason she’s even on my fuckin family list. So, while you contemplate what the fuck she is to you, just remember I’m the one taking fuckin care of her. My club, my men. Have that weigh on your conscience while you’re too pussy of a man to fuckin own up to it.”

  Ouch. That fuckin hurt coming from my best friend. I nod. I’m fuckin speechless right now. Him taking care of my fuckin woman! I don’t fuckin think so. But I get what he’s saying. It’s his connections, his club, and his brothers protecting her and taking care of. When and if I call Breakneck on her, it will be the other way around. I’ll be able to say it’s my brothers and connections protecting her and taking care of her. To others, it might not make sense. But it’s just the way of our world.

  He’s about to say something else when Winter comes barging back in. “I think my mother’s here.”

  ***

  Chapter 26

  Storm

  I’m taking a few shots even though I know I shouldn’t because of my meds, but ZZ wants me naked when he’s done. Winter comes back out and wraps her arms around my neck, and whispers she loves me. I love the bitch too. Her eyes fly towards the monitor and she gasps. I look up to see what it is, and she lets her hold on me go.

  “I think that’s my mother.”

  She takes off running back to the chapel, and I down another shot. Shit’s about to get real.

  Everyone starts flocking outta the chapel and Winter pulls me up. She starts walking out towards the hall and ZZ rips me outta her hold.

  “I don’t fuckin think so. She ain’t goin out there with you,” he growls.

  How fuckin dare him. My friend needs me. I jerk outta his hold. “She needs me, and I’m fuckin goin. You know how you said there was shit we might need to talk about? Well, this is one of them. You ain’t gonna fuckin control me.”

  He steps back. Like I just wounded him and I don’t care. I will never be controlled by a man. No matter if he’s got a pierced cock and that I love him. No fucking way.

  Braxxon slaps him on the shoulder and clasps down tightly. “Welcome to my world.”

  I turn back around and follow everyone out. The entire time, Mason is growling behind me. We get to the gate, and Braxxon calls out. “State your fuckin purpose.”

  Without missing a beat, the woman with the entourage calls out in a Russian accent. “My daughter is my purpose.”

  Winter gasps. “I knew it.”

  Braxxon nods his head, and allows Pyro and Sniper to open the gate. We all back up and let her mother walk in followed by two black sedans. Three things are very clear when she walks in. The first, she’s no doubt Winter’s mother. She’s the other replica of her. Straight up beautiful. Second, she commands a very fierce persona. Third, I think the guys just fell in love.

  “Holy fuck!”

  Yep, they fell in love.

  As the gates shut behind their entrance, Winter and her mother just stare at one another. It’s noticeable Winter has no idea how to act and the same goes for her mother. The entire parking lot is cricket quiet.

  Hello Winter,” her mother greets in her accent. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Liana”

  Winter loses it. She starts bawling her eyes out. “Hi,” she squeaks. “This is my husband.” Winter quickly clings onto Braxxon.

  Braxxon sticks out his hand. “Welcome Liana. I would say it’s nice to meet you…,” he trails off.

  Liana laughs, and it’s a beautiful sound that I’m very jealous of.

  “Yes, these certain circumstances were not how I planned to meet my youngest daughter for the first time since she were a baby.”

  I’m lost, and apparently, I’m not the only one.

  “Angel, did ya forget to tell me something?” Braxxon questions her.

  “Uh, ya, again you were being short.”

  Winter and Braxxon lead them into the new clubhouse, and I suspect it’s because it’s cleaner and new. If Winter’s mother seen what the old clubhouse looked like, she’d probably be disgraced. Things are severely tense to the point it’s making my bones ache. Or it’s from the lack of resting like I was ordered to do by the hospital. I excuse myself and go l
ay down without even telling Mason. He needs to be down here. I’m worried if I tell him I’m not feeling well, he’ll just follow me up.

  ***

  ZZ

  Storm tries to sneak off, thinkin she’s being fuckin slick and she’s not. I can see the tiredness in her eyes and in her movements. This night needs to hurry and fuckin end so I can climb into bed with her.

  Winter tells Tatiana to take Mace to one of the guestrooms, and surprisingly Tatiana doesn’t fight her on it. I watch as James hugs my clueless mother and whispers something in her ear. She looks over at me, and I nod. No doubt, James told her she needs to go to bed. I look around for Bom Bom and Creamy and don’t see them. Either they’re already in bed, or they scrammed before I even saw them. Braxxon puts the prospects on watch duty, and they take off. I just sit here twiddling my fucking thumbs because I have nothing to do but listen. Usually when I’m bored I can hunt down Piper, and she can make me laugh. But even she can’t be here right now.

  “These men claiming to be my Russians are not mine. I can assure you they are not. The men who are with me tonight,” she gestures around the room, “are my men.” Her voice is fucking fantastic, and if I didn’t have a hot little woman upstairs, I might try to fuck Winter’s mom.

  Liana thinks for a moment. “The men claiming they are mine. They’ve caused my daughter an extreme amount of worry. How you deal with them must be quiet. As you can see, I am not at all…” She pauses, tosses her hair over her shoulders, and crosses her legs to sit back. Jesus, she’s really fuckin hot. I adjust myself, praying I don’t get hard. I don’t wanna explain that shit to anyone. Just when I finish, I get a smack upside the head. I turn to find Pyro glaring at me, shaking his head in a no manner.

  “I fucking know,” I growl. I wouldn’t do that to Storm. But before Storm, that’s a whole other ball game.

  “Let’s just say I don’t need to hear about it, no?” Her mother finishes.

  “I’m good with quiet.” Braxxon nods.

  Liana snaps her fingers and one of her men hands her a folder. “Now… on to discuss your sister. I’m guessing this was news to you?” She asks Winter.

  “Yes.”

  Liana smiles at her and opens the folder. “Your sister is a few years older than you. She’s twenty-five. The reason she was never left with your father was because she was the oldest. You’re of Danish royalty, my dear daughter. You are only half Russian.”