Rain Water

by Buttrfli Jones

  “I don’t want no power in my legs, Ms. Tandy. I want power in my brain. I’m gonna be a doctor an’ buy you a big ole house. We gonna be rich, so I don’t need a man for that.”

  Paisley’s face took on a stern note, believing that she would never follow the path of her mother who put men at the helm of her decision making. As the years passed and their separation grew, the love that Paisley felt for her mother was slowing becoming replaced with a detached anger. Ms. Tandy knew where Paisley’s words were coming from and did not want the young girl to be guided by anger throughout her life.

  “Yuh don’t see it now, but one day yuh gone know. When yuh come into ya’self yuh gone know what it feel like to hold dat powa’.” Ms. Tandy balled her hand into a fist to signify the strength that she was discussing. Paisley listened intently, weighing the information against the knowledge that she thought she had on the subject. “It ain’t all bad . . . naw, it ain’t bad at all. When yuh really love somebody an’ dey love yuh back, dat be a good source a dat powa’.

  “I hear you Ms. Tandy. But I ain’t never gonna be stupid for no man.” Ms. Tandy smiled at Paisley, confident that the young girl meant every word of what she said.

  “Good. I ain’t raisin’ no weak woman. Yuh betta be strong an’ stan’ up strong like a tree. Get somethin’ in yuh dat go way . . . way down deep. See dem trees out dere? Mah Mama use ta say dat da roots is da strenf. Dem roots go down DEEP, but dey be what feed da tree, yuh know? Er’thang in yuh dat feed yuh gone keep yuh strong, not what folks see on da outside. You’s a strong one, Miss Paisley.”

  Paisley gave Ms. Tandy’s the reverence of a scholar as she often imparted wisdom that would carry her throughout life. Ms. Tandy was her anchor and guide, helping her to navigate through her turbulent life. She rose from her chair and came behind to wrap her arms around Ms. Tandy’s shoulders.

  “Thank you for bein’ the only Mama I need.”

  Paisley hugged Ms. Tandy tight, aware of the opportunity that she had been granted. Ms. Tandy made no motion to hide the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

  “Chile, is been a day fa da records, I tell yuh dat! Yuh tryin’ ta turn me sof’ Lil’ Girl. I swear fo’ God.”

  As Paisley released her hold on Ms. Tandy, Clem’s shiny Cadillac could be seen in the sunset, stopping in front of Ms. Tandy’s home once more. Paisley looked at his commanding figure exiting the vehicle and knew deep down that he would be a permanent fixture going forward. There was something in the way he moved, and how Ms. Tandy’s eyes danced in the moment that made Paisley voluntarily walk toward the door to go inside before Ms. Tandy instructed her to do so.

  Ms. Tandy stayed seated and wiped her face while awaiting Clem’s feet on her porch, internally steeling herself for the conversation that was to come. As he approached and made eye contact he flashed his golden smile and she felt herself soften and her heart ache. She realized in that moment that she was still in love with him. However, she was determined not to show her hand. Paisley sat on the floor a breath away from the closed door, straining her ears to hear the exchange as she heard his footsteps on the creaky wooden boards.

  “Clem.”

  The name was spoken flatly and without commitment, inviting him to say something to engage her. Paisley listened on the other side, knowing that Ms. Tandy was trying her best to act disinterested. She placed her left ear firmly against the door, waiting for his response as she heard him moving toward Ms. Tandy.

  “I tole yuh I be back, Rain. Yuh know ya done had somethin’ dat belong ta me fo’ a long, long time.”

  Ms. Tandy’s face and tone hardened, not knowing what he could be looking for.

  “I ain’ no thief. I ain’t take nothin’ from yah . . . no money, no nothin’. I lef’ wit’ de clothes on mah back!” She could feel an angry fire rising inside of her again in his presence and he reached out to grab her shoulders, his smile more pronounced than ever.

  “Mah heart. I need mah heart back. Unless yuh done got married, yah still mah wife. I miss mah Rain Wata’ . . . ain’t met nobody could hold a flame ta yah.” At his words, Ms. Tandy broke into a laugh, trying to diffuse the charm that he was seeking to evoke.

  “How long we done been apart, Clem? Yuh comin’ here like yuh ain’t neva’ beat me, or dat I ain’t neva’ shoot yo’ ass. Don’ tell me nothin’ ‘bout bein’ nobody’s wife.” He loosened his grip on her shoulders and looked her squarely in the eyes.

  “T, I know yuh ain’t gone believe dis but I ain’t de same man I was. I ain’t touched a drop-a-licka since, so yuh done save mah life in a way with’ dat bullet.” He shyly kept his eyes on her, reminiscent of his innocence when they were children no older than Paisley. She noticed that he was still as handsome as he had been as a boy, making it hard for her to hold on to her anger toward him.

  “So I guess yuh done took up wit’ somebody else . . . dat gul’s daddy, huh? Do yuh love ‘im?” The sadness in his eyes made Ms. Tandy truly remember all of the good in him. She decided to take the protective barrier from her words and speak to the man behind his eyes.

  “Naa, I ain’t birth her. She jus’ happened in mah life an’ she been stayin’ here fo’ ‘bout three yeahs now. She a good one . . . smart as all get out an’ I die fa dat girl, I swear fo’ God.”

  Ms. Tandy grew a bit teary at the thought of Paisley and their relationship. Paisley smiled on the other side of the door, feeling content that she would not be replaced. With everything that had changed in her life over the years through her own actions and the actions of others, Ms. Tandy regarded Paisley as the catalyst God used to teach her to love again.

  As she was lost in thought, Clem came closer to her in his confident way and pulled her up into standing position. Before she could protest, he started to rhythmically move with her in a dance, giving her butterflies in her stomach as well as sensations in parts she had long forgotten. She inhaled his familiar scent and was transported back to a time when all she ever wanted to do was smell his skin. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him and she laid her head on his chest, feeling his raised scar through his linen shirt against her ear.

  “Yah know I don’ like when ya call me dat.”

  He settled his chin on the crown of her head and smiled at her words but continued their dance, possessively holding her in a way that signified that he was there to stay. He smiled a sly smile, feeling as if they were teenagers on their first date.

  “Call yuh what? Rain Wata’? Why yuh don’ like dat?”

  She closed her eyes and again took in the smell of him and the strength of his arms. She thought about a time when he used to be her protector, when she believed that he had the power to move mountains and part the sea. There was a time in her life that if he would have asked her to walk to the Moon for him she would have done what she could to find a way to make it happen.

  “’Clem don’ try an’ play stupid. Yuh know I was usually nekkid when yah call me dat.” They both started to laugh at the memories of being in love and the passion that they once had for one another. Clem extended his arms and moved backward to gaze at her shapely form, wanting to resume his husbandly duties right there in the moment.

  “Still beautiful as da day I foun’ yah. Yah know I always had da power tah make yah flow like dat . . . but only me. Dat was mah job to keep yuh wet like rain.”

  He bent his head low and gave her a gentle kiss on the collarbone, weakening her resolve to almost nothing. Paisley continued to listen in confusion, not understanding the connotation behind his words. Ms. Tandy grasped his intentions fully and brought their dance to an abrupt halt.

  “Yah still slick as a new penny, Clem. But I ain’t no kid no mo’. Time fa yah ta go now.” She needed to move while she still had the willpower but his hands still firmly on her made her escape nearly impossible. He reluctantly let her out of his grasp, not wanting to spoil the moment between them. By the way that she responded to his words and touches, he knew that it was a matter of time before s
he would be completely his once more.

  “I need ta take yah home, T. I be headin’ back tomorrah an’ I need yah tah leave wit’ me.” His face left no room for negotiation and Ms. Tandy could feel the urgency in his voice, noting that there were things unsaid that could only be seen and not heard.

  “I be back in da mornin’.”

  At the words “take yah home” an ache that started in her heart spread downward and she reached for him, longing to feel that heartbeat on her ear once more. He reversed his retreat and wrapped his arms around her, rhythmically swaying to an invisible beat that only he could hear. Just as the Walls of Jericho toppled, Ms. Tandy’s protective layer disintegrated to nothingness. Her tears started to fall and she realized that she had cried more in one day than she had in years. She did not trust her voice to convey the emotion that she was feeling so all that she could manage to do was whisper.

  “Awww, Clem . . . how mah Mama doin’? How mah brothas an’ sistahs? Yuh done seen dem?”

  Clem silently held her and started to hum an old melody that they sang in church when they were young. The vibrato of his voice reverberated against her cheek and she rocked slowly in his care, feeling as if she was already home.

  Paisley stood tall with settled emotions. She realized that Ms. Tandy was hers for life . . . there was no need to fear. In the way that Clem spoke to Ms. Tandy, Paisley could slightly understand what ‘power’ Ms. Tandy spoke of earlier. There was a sweetness to his timbre . . . a softness that came forth like a song for Ms. Tandy from his heart.

  “Ev’rybody home waitin’ on yah. Tomorrah night we on our way, Rain.”

  Paisley left the lovers to their privacy, walked toward her bed and exhaustedly fell upon it, extending her arms upward and drowning in her pillows. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the inward draw of her invisible breaths, remembering the prayers that she had learned over the years. She prayed for her mother and the trip she was taking. She prepared her mind to leave everything she knew, as she told herself that there was no way she would be anywhere that Ms. Tandy was not.

  “God, watch ova’ my mama. And let her let me go . . .”

  Her eyes grew heavy with the exhaustion of the day and she quickly fell into a peaceful sleep filled with the promises of tomorrow’s possibilities. Ms. Tandy and Clem were frozen in time on the porch, lost in one another’s presence. He had never forgotten the way she responded to his advances, letting him know without words that she belonged to him.

  The day’s clouds had dissipated, making way for a bright orange Moon. Cars made their way down the busy street, as well as the usual night walkers that frequented the neighborhood. Ms. Tandy stood oblivious to everyone and everything around her save Clem. She felt as if in one day she had been compensated for twenty years of pain.

  “I know yuh done been wit’ anotha’ man, fine as you lookin’ right now.” The two had stopped their dance, opting to hold each other while the moment lasted. She looked amused as she met his gaze.

  “Clemuel Andrieux! I see dat jealous streak still ‘live an’ well! But yuh know wrong . . . ain’t been wit’ nobody since . . .” Heat spread across her chest upon the revelation that he was her one and only, displaying her girlish nature and showing Clem that underneath the bravado she was still Tandy Blanchard, an innocent, shy beauty with a heart made of sugar. Clem let out an excited whistle and he hoisted her into the air and spun her around in a circle, catching her by surprise with his strength.

  “So nobody done touch mah honey but me?”

  She could sense where the conversation was heading and she did not trust herself to follow where it was going. She politely placed her hands on his chest, attempting to create a bit of breathing room between them.

  “I know yuh still a young bull, but yuh gotta take ya time wit’ me. I been twenty yeahs wit’ out yuh. Lemme get use ta ya one mo’ ‘gin.”

  He removed her hands from his chest and put them around his neck, sweetly pulling her closer to him once more. Unconsciously, she smiled remembering the comments of those in their small town of Tangipahoa calling them “Frick & Frack”. In their early years, it was difficult to see one without the other as Ms. Tandy followed him like a moth to a flame. Clem’s admiration was mutual and he sought her out for the opportunity to be in her presence.

  “Rain . . . mah Rain . . . lemme show yuh how much I done missed yah.”

  He pressed himself closer to her so that she could feel his natural inkling for her and her body responded accordingly. She remembered how crazy he used to make her feel with just a whisper or soft touch. Even as he hurt her in his drunken rages, he would always compensate with his amazing ability to love her deeply. She disengaged herself and looked into his face with love.

  She could not remember the last time that she had felt this carefree in love, as light as a butterfly dancing on a purple coneflower for nectar. The essence of his presence was giving her life in a way that she had forgotten. Internally, a conflict arose. She wanted things to be as they were before pain moved in. She wanted to completely forget about the bad that happened in the past. As she felt the outline of the scar against the cartilage of her ear, she was reminded that some decisions were unable to be repaired once made. Young Tandy was naïve, loyal and trusting. Mature Tandy was wiser, cautious and guarded.

  “Lissen tah mah words, Clem. None-a dat hoochie coochie an’ carryin’ on. I gotta learn dis’ Clem an’ fo’get dat ole’ one so yuh gotta have patience wit’ me. Please, now . . . I jus’ want yuh to lay wit’ me. Been so long since I had yuh sleepin’ by mah side . . .”

  He sighed deeply in acknowledgement, realizing that time had changed the girl that he fell in love with. He took her hand and opened her front door gesturing for her to go inside, being conscious to stay one step behind her lest she change her mind. He noticed that her home was set up in a familiar fashion, almost similar to the home that they shared together decades ago. He paused as memories started to flood his being, careful not to overload her with his longing to return to what once was.

  “Yuh makin’ me think ‘bout de ole times when we was livin’ on Ole Silo in dat lil’ ole house.” He laughed at the memory, remembering the little matchbox house that they shared.

  “Ahh, Ole Silo . . . yuh look through de front door an’ yuh see out de back. We’s on top-a each otha’ like fish in de can.”

  “It wasn’t dat bad, tho’. We did have some good times, Rain.”

  The both chuckled at the memory and let it linger in their mind while the smiles were still fresh on their lips. Clem removed his shiny black shoes and placed them by the front door, then looked at Ms. Tandy expectedly, waiting for an invitation to her bed. She faced forward and walked the short distance to her bedroom, Clem not far behind.

  She awkwardly sat down on the edge of the bed, kneading her hands as the surreal nature of the day humbled her. He sat to the side of her, allowing his protective nature to command the situation and he rubbed her shoulders in such a loving way that everything she had forgotten came to her remembrance in a flood.

  Unknowingly, her tears started to fall once more without ceasing . . . rivers and rivers of unspoken, unacknowledged and adverted emotions combined in one grand show and released themselves from the wells of her eyes. Her shoulders started to strongly rise and fall as her body shook from the force of her emotions. She felt his arm encircle her and pull her downward, laying her head on his chest as he cushioned himself on the mattress. He rubbed her back and let her cry, not fully understanding her sadness, but offering himself as her comfort.

  As her emotions subsided they lay in silence, holding each other as if the other might escape. He kissed her forehead and pulled her close to his body, his hands resting in the small of her back. She closed her eyes and felt a peace in her spirit, knowing that everything going forward would work itself out.

  “Mah Rain . . . Mah wife. De nex’ 20 yeahs gone be ‘nuf tuh knock yo’ socks off!”

  Ms. Tandy started to laugh and t
he joy of laughter infected them both, causing them to erupt into a fit of giggles that could not be controlled. Pure, joy-filled laughter permeated the room and spread throughout the atmosphere of the house, waking Paisley.

  She rose a bit startled, only settling herself back to sleep once she realized what the noise was. As she listened to their laughter she smiled, feeling a sense of joy for Ms. Tandy. Paisley imagining that Ms. Tandy had found her prince and that the future was going to be a happy one.

  The laughter descended into a loving embrace and the two kissed one another for the first time, indicating that the magic they once shared was still potent. Clem extended his neck to kiss Ms. Tandy’s forehead and stare into her eyes in the moonlit room.

  “I still love yuh. I hope yuh know dat.”

  She remained silent and drew closer to him, signifying that she heard his words. She closed her eyes and silently thanked God for and all of His angels for her second chance.