Hope Returns

by Dorey Whittaker

  Ben sat quietly looking at Lisa trying to absorb all of this new information, when she leaped into his arms and shouted, “Let’s do it, Ben!”

  “And by the way, Lisa, we can have Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday for our honeymoon. Just in case you said yes to all this, Scott went ahead and booked us the honeymoon suite at the Old Plantation where he and Susan got married. He said that is their wedding present to us and they will keep Benny busy while we are away.”

  “I love that place, Ben. Susan took me out there a few years back. It is perfect. But can we keep this a secret for now? Just until after we meet with Mrs. Reiner. Hope has enough to think about right now. On Friday morning we will tell the family and on Saturday we will get married.”

  “Just one thing, Lisa. We do need to tell Mr. and Mrs. Thomas they are going to have a wedding in their living room on Saturday. That is something you just can’t spring on people.”

  Lisa smiled in agreement, “You are right. Besides, Mrs. Thomas would not forgive me if I denied her the opportunity of decorating the cake for us. I don’t know how she is going to do it and keep it a secret.” Then, remembering they would tell everyone Friday morning, she added, “She won’t have to keep it a secret after Friday morning, and so we are good to go,” and off they went to City Hall.

  All afternoon family was in and out of the Thomas house. Down in the basement all the grandkids were busy with their secret little Christmas projects, coming up only to tell everyone they could not come downstairs. Grandpa had set out different things for each child to make for Mommy or Daddy, and Grandma was always ready with beautiful wrapping paper as each child completed their special gift. Finally, when every child had their gifts wrapped and labeled, they all marched up the stairs together and placed their presents under the Christmas tree, assured that each present was the very best one under the tree.

  By two o’clock all the grandkids were down for naps. They were promised that if they took a nap they could stay up extra late that night and share in the holiday festivities. So by two-thirty the house was finally quiet. Caroline and Gladys made quick work of preparing the dinner before coming into the living room to join Carol Anne, Susan, Lisa, and Hope for some quiet conversation.

  Their discussion was casual, unscripted and gracious. No one invaded Hope’s personal space, avoiding any probing questions about Michael or her faith. Hope knew these were very religious people and so fully anticipated being questioned at some point. But instead, Caroline told them about her latest project, a cake decorating class. Carol Anne talked about some of the silly things she and Susan had done as kids and Gladys, being the most proper of southern ladies, shared about her latest victory—growing a beautiful African Violet and getting an honorable mention at the Fall Festival that year.

  ***

  By the time dinner was over and everyone was collecting their coats, Hope found herself actually looking forward to their Christmas Eve service. As a young child, her family had attended church, but around the age of ten, something happened and her mother no longer wished to go, therefore, they didn’t. She never asked, nor was she told, why. They simply stopped going and life went on. Then, in high school, she learned that no reputable scientists believe there is a God, and in college she learned that only weak-minded people have to lean on a crutch called religion.

  Climbing into the car next to Lisa, Hope pondered silently, “But these people are not weak-minded people. They aren’t shoving their religion down my throat every chance they get, but they are not apologizing for their faith either. I’m not sure if religion is really a crutch, but it sure has made a difference in Lisa, that is for sure. How else could anyone explain such a big change in a person? Maybe, at least for some people, religion really does work.”

  ***

  Walking out of the Christmas Eve service, Hope whispered to Lisa, “Does your church in Jefferson have a service like this one?”

  “Yes, although not nearly as grand as this, but Gladys and I love it,” Lisa said with fondness. “Did you enjoy the service?”

  “Honestly, Mom, I really did. I didn’t expect to,” Hope confessed. “I’m not exactly sure what I expected, but certainly nothing as nice as that was.”

  “I’m glad you enjoyed it, Hope. I know you don’t go to church and I want to respect your right to hold a different view than I have.” Stepping aside to let the others go on out to the cars, Lisa decided this was the time to share her personal feelings about her faith with her daughter. “But, Hope, I did want to show you my world and that must include what you heard tonight in that service. I would not be honest with you if I denied what God did for me when He saved me eleven years ago. Just as the pastor said tonight, ‘God sent His Son, Jesus, into this world, not to condemn people, but to offer them the gift of salvation.’ First, He changed my relationship with Him by forgiving me, and then He started the process of changing my life. My life did not change overnight. It has been a day by day thing. It is not religion, simply following strict rules and behaving in a certain way. I could never have done that. God began to change me from the inside out. He still has a lot more work to do, but I know He loves me because I see what He has already done in my life.”

  “I can see your faith is very important to you, Mom. No one could ever deny that something very powerful took place in your life and for that I am very grateful.” Hope turned toward her mom, looked deep into her eyes, as she said, “I’m just not sure it is something that I need right now. Can you accept that and love me anyway?”

  “I will always love you, no matter what,” Lisa responded, while sliding her arm around her daughter as they headed out to join the others. “I will never try to force my faith on you, but, I also cannot pretend that I am not a person of faith when I am around you. I have to be true to who I have become because I know what I once was. I was rescued from the absolute pit of hell, and I know who I now am because of what God has done in my life. I can no more deny that truth than I can deny my love for you.” Just as they reached the car, Lisa offered, “So, Hope, you be the real and truthful you, and I promise that I will be the real and truthful me. We will both respect each other and love each other as we are, okay?”

  Just before stepping into the car, Hope leaned over and kissed her mom on the cheek, then said, “Okay, Mom, honesty and truth between us.”

  Arriving back at the Thomas’ house, the grandkids raced upstairs to get out of their church clothes and into their new Christmas jammies. Every year Grandpa and Grandma Thomas bought all the grandkids new jammies for Christmas Eve and every year the grandkids looked forward to getting into them right after church. They looked forward to sitting on the family room floor, eating Christmas cookies and having hot coco, watching Grandpa’s home movies until they finally fell asleep. The children knew that when they awoke it would be Christmas morning.

  After everyone had piled their plates with goodies, and were comfortably seated, adults on sofas and arm chairs, the kids on the floor, Hope and Benny decided to sit on the floor with the little kids. Benny leaned against his dad’s knees, and Hope beside him, leaning against her mom’s knees. When everyone was settled, Grandpa Thomas announced movie night was officially started.

  As in previous years, they started with slides of photos of family long gone before Bill Thomas ever received his first Bell & Howell 8mm camera when he was in high school. As each photo came up on the screen, someone would yell out the name of the relative, something special about them, or how they were related. Benny and Hope had a crash course of the family history. They saw pictures of grandparents, great grandparents, aunts and uncles who were just names and faces to them. They saw Gladys and Bill as little kids and Hope said, “Gladys, it is hard to imagine you ever being that little kid.”

  “Did you think she arrived fully grown, Hope?” teased Benny.

  “You know what I mean, Benny,” Hope laughingly retorted.

  Then, as the next photo came up on the screen, Hope was able to recognize a teenage Gladys but d
id not recognize the older young man in the photo, and innocently asked, “Who is that in the photo with you, Gladys?”

  Lisa quickly reached down and placed her hand on Hope’s shoulder and whispered, “I’ll tell you all about him later, Hope.”

  Immediately embarrassed at possibly asking an inappropriate question, Hope whispered over her shoulder, “Sorry.”

  Noticing Hope’s discomfort, Gladys sweetly offered, “That’s okay, Hope, we have no secrets here. That is Bill’s and my older brother, Charlie.”

  Hope saw the gleam in Gladys’s eyes as she said his name, but dared not ask any questions.

  “Charlie was our family’s golden boy, our parent’s firstborn son, heir apparent, and Bill’s and my hero,” Gladys quickly cast a loving smile at her younger brother, and continued, “Charlie was a senior in college when I was a senior in high school, and Bill was in eighth grade. Bill and I were convinced that there was nothing our big brother could not do. He was kind, smart, athletic, and he loved us both, didn’t he, Bill?”

  “He sure did, Gladys,” Bill said with a smile.

  “That picture was taken at Bill’s thirteenth birthday, just a few months before we lost Charlie.” Gladys looked around the room at all the young children sitting and listening to every word, and knew this was not the time, nor the place to give any more details, so she said, “I’ll tell you all about him when the kids are not here, Hope.”

  Hope quickly gave a nod of acceptance and Grandpa Thomas continued on to other pictures. Once they had completed the still photos, they moved to the home movies and eventually made their way to the ones that interested Hope and Benny, the ones that included Lisa. At first, they saw a frail woman who refused to smile at the camera. In this movie Lisa sat very close to Gladys, obviously uncomfortable in her own skin. Hope reached up and took hold of Lisa’s hand that was still resting on her shoulder. No words were needed.

  The next few Christmas movies were like watching a time-lapsed study of Lisa. Benny and Hope watched as, year after year, before their eyes, Lisa blossomed into a healthy, happy, smiling, person, who was no longer frail, was no longer apologetic for being there, a woman who was obviously loved and accepted in this family. Leaning over to Hope, Benny said, “That is so cool, Hope. It is like watching your mom get better right before our eyes.”

  Squeezing her mom’s hand, Hope said, “Benny, you and I just saw what that preacher was talking about tonight at church. God is in the business of changing broken lives, and Lisa is a perfect example of it. No one could deny the change in her. No one.”

  Ben quietly leaned over and wiped the tears from Lisa’s face as he gave her a kiss. He knew her heart was full and blessed, hearing her daughter give God credit for her change.

  Chapter 14

  Leaving all the grandkids sleeping just where they were was half the fun on Christmas morning. Bill and Caroline quickly laid out their special gifts, always wrapped in Sunday’s funnies newspaper print, so the little ones knew exactly which presents they could open as soon as they woke up. No other presents were to be touched until after Christmas morning breakfast.

  Late that night, as Scott and Susan were taking Ben and Benny back to their house, Benny questioned, “So what is the story about Charlie? Obviously Gladys did not want to talk about it in front of all the little kids.”

  Scott smiled at Benny in the rear-view mirror and said, “Benny, I think Gladys should be the one to tell that story. I imagine Hope is also curious, so I suspect that once the kids go down for their afternoon naps tomorrow, Gladys will tell you the story of my Uncle Charlie.”

  Curious, but respectful, Benny said, “Okay, Scott.”

  By the time Scott and Susan had their house guests back at the Thomas’ house the next morning, there was barely controlled bedlam in the house. Caroline and Gladys had already fed the grandkids and were trying to keep them down in the basement, watching cartoons, until all the adults were finished with breakfast and ready for the present opening.

  Benny did his best to keep the little boys under control, but quickly felt outnumbered. Smiling to his dad, he said, “Man, our Christmas mornings were sure boring. Two presents each and we were done, then a drive over to Denny’s on the highway for a turkey dinner and pumpkin pie.”

  “Benny, can you open this for me?” little Matthew asked as he climbed up onto his lap. “I need help,” Matthew pleaded. Only two years old, but Matthew wanted to be included with the big boys and was never far from Benny’s side.

  “Bring it here, Matthew, mommy can help you,” Susan offered.

  “No, my Benny do it,” Matthew insisted. To which Benny added, “That’s all right, Mrs. Thomas, I don’t mind. It’s kind of fun.”

  By the time all the presents had been opened and the wrapping paper and ribbons collected, the smell of Caroline’s roasting turkey began to fill the house with wonderful aromas. The plan was to have Christmas dinner around one o’clock and the grandkids down by three for a much needed nap, both for them and for the adults.

  After dinner the men gathered up the kids for a long walk around the block while the women made quick work of putting all the food away and the dishes washed. Everyone was ready for some quiet adult conversation and, as soon as the guys returned the kids were all marched upstairs for two-hour naps. Even those who protested their need for a nap were fast asleep within a few minutes. Caroline made a fresh pot of coffee and they all made their way back into the family room. As they were enjoying the peace and quiet that comes when all the children are fast asleep, the conversation found its way back to Charlie. “I know you must be curious about why I didn’t want to talk about our brother, Charlie, last night,” Gladys began.

  “It’s okay if you don’t want to share it with us, Gladys,” Hope offered. “I gathered it was something painful enough that you didn’t feel the kids should hear about it.”

  “You are right, Hope,” Gladys agreed. “Little children don’t need to hear about adult issues. There are things that go on in this world that cause people great pain and no one is immune. At some point in everyone’s life someone, or something, will rock your world, shattering everything you hold dear. It is how you deal with that hurt that matters.”

  “You’re talking about what happened to your brother, Charlie, aren’t you, Gladys?” Benny probed.

  “Yes, Benny, I am.” Gladys admitted. “You see, the tragedy of Charlie’s death was the single most difficult thing I have ever had to endure. It wasn’t just that Charlie died, it was how he died and how I responded to it. But this is Christmas Day, and this is not a story that should be told on such a day as this. There will be other days, days more suited to the telling of stories. I promise that I will sit down with both of you and tell you Charlie’s story, and mine.”

  “I agree, Gladys,” Hope replied, “let’s focus on pleasant things today, but someday I do want to hear your story.”

  Changing the subject, Lisa asked, “Hope, did you make that photo album we talked about? The one you were planning to give to Mrs. Reiner tomorrow.”

  “Yes,” replied Hope. “I have it in my purse. Actually, you have already seen it. It is just like the one I gave to you for Christmas.”

  “I didn’t get to look at it,” Susan chimed in. “Pull it out and let’s see what Hope looked like as a child.”

  For several hours the family listened to stories behind the photos in Hope’s album. Eventually the conversation drifted to how they were going to break the news to Mrs. Reiner. They imagined how she was going to receive the news that Hope Winslow was her only grandchild. They listened to Lisa’s ideas of how she would start the conversation, making suggestions about how they would do it, but in the end, everyone knew, no matter how it was said, Mrs. Reiner was going to have a wonderful surprise tomorrow.

  To keep the afternoon light, Bill Thomas challenged Ben to a game of pool down in the basement, while Gladys spent several hours showing Hope all kinds of knitting tricks. Harry, Scott, and Benny found their wa
y out front, in order to show Benny some great wrestling moves. Susan, Carol Anne, and Lisa quietly chatted about wedding plans, while Caroline relaxed and enjoyed the last hours of another Christmas with her family.

  The afternoon slowly faded into evening and, one-by-one, people gathered up presents, loaded their cars and said their goodbyes. Everyone knew that Lisa, Hope, and Susan had a full day ahead of them and did not want to have them exhausted for their big day. Lisa walked Ben out to the car, knowing she would not see him the next day. “This was a great Christmas, wasn’t it, Ben?”

  “It sure was. I loved it because I really like this family, but most of all, because I got to share it with you. I can’t imagine going through another Christmas like the ones Benny and I have endured these past few years, but thankfully we won’t have to anymore.” Giving Lisa a kiss goodnight, Ben held her extra tight and said, “I will be thinking about you all day tomorrow. I know it will turn out great. I know Hope is a little nervous but she will do great.”

  The house was eerily quiet as Lisa walked back into it after waving goodbye. Gladys, Bill, and Caroline had headed up to bed, exhausted, as soon as Scott and Susan walked out the door, and Hope was upstairs taking a shower. Lisa walked into the family room and stood in the dimly lit room and thought about what she had said to Hope at church the night before. She played back every word, measuring their impact on this young woman who did not believe in God. “God,” Lisa prayed, “you know I am not good at expressing myself. I don’t have Gladys’s gift for words, or Ruth’s Bible knowledge. I feel like the blind man who Jesus healed. All I can say is, ‘once I was blind, but now I can see.’ God, I can be ashamed of what I once was, but I can never deny it because if I deny that, I can’t tell people who You have made me into. I just want Hope to understand that it was You who did it, not me.”