Hope Returns

by Dorey Whittaker

  Picking up her stack of Christmas presents, Lisa headed for the stairs. A glimmer of light shone on the album from Hope, and Lisa said, “God, I gave her up as a baby to save her life. Now you have brought her back to me so I can share Your truth with her. You have graciously given me another chance to be part of saving her life, but this time it is to save it for all eternity. God, please give me your wisdom.”

  ***

  Susan was at the house before anyone was up. She slipped in the kitchen door and started a pot of coffee, then spotted the cinnamon rolls left to rise on her mother-in-law’s pastry shelf. “She must be up,” Susan surmised. “No one beats Mom to the breakfast fixins,” Susan chuckled. Sure enough, just then Caroline came up from the basement with a clean load of towels to fold. “Good morning, Susan. You are up early today. Would you mind popping those rolls in the oven for me? I hear the shower going upstairs so people are beginning to stir.”

  The towels were all folded and ready to take upstairs, when Caroline asked, “Did you notice that Hope never called home yesterday? You don’t think she was afraid we would mind her making a long distance call, do you, Susan?”

  “No, Mom,” Susan responded, “I’m sure that is not the reason Hope didn’t call home. You also noticed there were no calls coming in for her either, right?”

  “Yes, I did. You’d think that fiancé of hers would at least call her on Christmas Day,” Caroline stated. “Rather a curious situation, don’t you think?”

  “Mom, Lisa and Gladys don’t like this guy at all. Hope is under a lot of pressure to marry him, but Lisa thinks she is having second thoughts.” Then Susan added, “Lisa is dying to know what has gone on with them since Thanksgiving. Hope told them lots of things Michael does that bothers her and Lisa tried to warn her to take her time with him. Hope did not respond to that advice very well and now Lisa is afraid to push for information, for fear of offending her again.”

  “Well, right now is not the time to focus on him anyway,” Caroline wisely interjected. “Today is a big day for Hope. It is going to be an emotional day for all four of you. Let’s just keep our minds on today. Everything else can wait for another day.”

  “You are right, Mom. I know Lisa is focusing on how Hope is going to feel meeting Mrs. Reiner today and how Mrs. Reiner is going to feel meeting Hope. Mom, Lisa isn’t thinking about how hard it is going to be standing on Mrs. Reiner’s front porch, like I did eleven years ago. She has not been back on that street since she was seventeen years old. I doubt she has thought about just how many horrid memories are going to flood her mind when she looks over at our old house, and remembers all the terrible stuff that happened to her there.”

  “Susan, all we can do is pray for her today. Memories only have control of us when we have not dealt with them. For years, Gladys has tried to get Lisa to deal with all that happened in that house years ago. Lisa has come so far, and grown so much, and we are all very proud of her. But this one area has always been off limits to Gladys. Lisa is convinced that she has handled what she needs to handle and wants only to move on.”

  Susan smiled, “I know, Mom, I was the same way, remember?”

  “Yes, Susan, and God will one day show Lisa the same thing He showed you. I don’t know God’s timing of things, but I do know that He wants Lisa whole and free of all the baggage she still holds on to. So, I pray.”

  The smell of Caroline’s rolls began to draw everyone down to the kitchen table and soon they were all chatting and having a good time. Lisa noticed the lovely new dress Hope chose to wear today, and she noticed Steve’s locket was around her neck.

  Lisa asked, “Susan, what reason did you give to Mrs. Reiner when you called and asked if we could stop by today?”

  “I thanked her for driving all the way down to Jefferson to be a witness at your trial. I told her you were coming to Atlanta for the holidays and wanted to stop by and bring her a little gift of gratitude; little does she know just how huge that gift of gratitude really is.”

  Lisa smiled at Hope and said, “Are you ready for this, Hope?”

  “Yes, I have on my father’s locket and lots of tissues in my purse.” Then, with all the innocence of someone who did not know how their words could sting, Hope said, “After today, one grandmother down, and one to go.”

  Gladys watched Lisa’s reaction, knowing Marjorie Miller was a lightning rod for Lisa’s anger. Lisa looked as if she had just been punched in the stomach. They all knew she had no intention of ever introducing her daughter to Marjorie Miller. Hearing Hope even suggest such a thing threw Lisa into a tailspin because she had no idea Hope was even planning such a meeting. No one at the table said a word. They all understood what a bad idea this was, but today was not the day to discuss Marjorie Miller. Susan stood up and said, “It is getting late, we need to leave now if we want to get there on time. Hope, do you have your photo album? Okay, let’s get going.”

  Chapter 15

  Susan could feel the tension in Lisa’s body as she turned the car onto Elm Street. Glancing over at her sister, she noticed that Lisa was looking down at her hands, coupled together so hard her knuckles were white. Susan thought about reaching over and taking Lisa’s hand, but decided it was best to leave her alone. Only after she slowed the car down and pulled to the curb did Lisa look up, and say, “It is just as I remembered it, Hope. Right under that tree is where Steve and I sat, talked, and fell in love.”

  Susan knew how hard this was for her sister, but Lisa was determined to get through it for Hope’s sake. She also knew she owed this to Steve and his mother. As they walked to the door, Susan noticed that Lisa’s eyes never left the Reiner front door. The sound of music greeted them as they stepped onto the porch and knocked. Mrs. Reiner unlatched the screen door and swung it wide open and invited her guests inside. “I am so happy you took time out of your holiday schedule to come visit with me,” she said as she directed them into her living room.

  The chitchat was lighthearted as everyone settled in and took turns being thankful for the outcome of the trial. Mrs. Reiner made sure she made no comment regarding Hope’s involvement, knowing that would be a difficult conversation, one she had no right to begin. “Hope, I understand that you live in California, right?”

  “Yes I do, Mrs. Reiner,” Hope responded.

  “Lisa, your daughter looks just like you as a young girl,” Mrs. Reiner observed. “I remember when you and my Stevie would sit out on the lawn and talk. Steve was always telling me how smart you were. I think he had a crush on you.”

  Hope clutched hold of the locket, trying not to be obvious as her eyes drifted from one photo to another of her father as a young boy. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you at the trial, Mrs. Reiner. I was struggling just to get through it and didn’t feel like talking with anyone.”

  “Oh, don’t you worry your pretty little head about me, child,” Mrs. Reiner replied. “I’m not important. I was just there to tell the jury what a terrible childhood Lisa and Susan had to endure.”

  Lisa sat forward in her chair and said, “Well, that is not exactly true, Mrs. Reiner. Actually, you are a very important person to Hope.”

  A puzzled look came across Mrs. Reiner’s face. She did not know what Lisa meant by this statement. Lisa got up and sat next to Mrs. Reiner on the sofa, took her hand, and told her the same story she had told Hope. Within minutes Mrs. Reiner caught on to where this story was going, but she would not let herself dream that this could be true. All of a sudden, all the pieces of the puzzle came together and she knew it was true.

  “Why didn’t I see it? Stevie tried to tell me how much you meant to him, but he was just a boy; at least my mother’s heart kept saying that. Stevie was so upset when you took off, he was inconsolable. But now I know why you ran, Lisa. You and I both know what your father would have done to my boy, don’t we?” Then she began to cry.

  Lisa held her in her arms as old, old sorrow washed over this mother. “Yes, Mrs. Reiner, we do know, and we know that no one could
have protected Steve back then. I am so sorry I was the cause of his sorrow, but I could not tell him about Hope. He would never have let me go.”

  “So you left him to protect him, and you gave our baby up to protect her from that monster.” As these words came out of her mouth, Mrs. Reiner realized she was talking about Hope and ran to her. “You are our baby girl, Hope. You belong to my Stevie. You are his little girl,” as she kissed Hope and clung to her. “I haven’t lost him altogether. You are my Stevie’s little girl.”

  Susan smiled at Hope as Mrs. Reiner repeated this several more times, trying to drive this knowledge deep into her heart. Hope didn’t struggle to get out of Mrs. Reiner’s embrace, although she was obviously beginning to feel a little uncomfortable.

  Once Mrs. Reiner had gathered her composure, she said, “Would you like to see some pictures of your dad, Hope?”

  “I would love to see all the pictures you have of my dad,” Hope responded with a slight hesitation, then added, “Grandma Reiner.”

  That was it. Mrs. Reiner suddenly fell into tears at hearing Hope call her grandma. Lisa, Susan, and Hope began to laugh out of shear emotion, and Hope said, “I guess I should have waited a little longer before using that name, right?”

  “No, no, no, my dear,” pleaded Mrs. Reiner. “I just never thought I would ever hear those words said to me.”

  “Then Grandma Reiner it is,” responded Hope. “Now, tell me all about my father, will you?”

  Over a light lunch, Hope and Mrs. Reiner, her grandma, looked through every box of photos in the house. She told story after story, wanting to share all her memories with Stevie’s little girl. They walked into his bedroom and looked at all the trophies he had earned, took out his baseball uniform that still hung in the closet, and by the end of the day, they both felt like Steve was right there with them.

  Susan and Lisa sat quietly to the side, watching and listening as these two women became family. Hope took out her album and went through every photo, filling her grandmother in on her young life. Mrs. Reiner would rub her finger across each photo, trying to imagine being there when the photo was taken, wishing Steve could have been there watching his girl in that photo.

  Susan leaned over to her sister and said, “Lisa, remember all the times we spied on Steve and his mother, wishing we could be part of this family?”

  Lisa smiled a knowing smile, then with huge happy tears in her eyes, she turned to her sister and said, “Susan, Hope got our dream, didn’t she?”

  Grabbing hold of her sister’s hand, Susan choked, “She sure did, Lisa, and that is perfect.”

  Mrs. Reiner had not planned for her company to stay much past lunch so she had not prepared anything else, but pleaded, “You don’t have to leave just yet, do you? Please tell me you can stay for dinner.”

  Susan was the first to answer, “We do need to get back, Mrs. Reiner. I left all three of my kids with my mother-in-law and I am certain she needs a break by now.” But seeing her look of disappointment, Susan offered, “Would you like to come over for dinner at our house, Mrs. Reiner? Scott can pick up some ready-made food while I get my kids to bed, and then we can just continue with our visit. Would you like that?”

  With pleading eyes, Mrs. Reiner confessed, “I don’t want to be selfish. I know you all have tons of plans. I just don’t want to say goodbye just yet.”

  “Then come back with us and we will bring you back later tonight,” Hope chimed in. “I’m not ready to let you go either.”

  “Well, just let me change my dress and close up the house; it will just take a minute.” Mrs. Reiner practically sang as she rushed around getting ready. Gathering up her purse and jacket, she joyfully announced, “I’m all set, girls, let’s go.”

  Susan and Lisa were out the door first while Hope held the screen door for her grandmother. They were at the curb when Mrs. Reiner cried, “Oh, I forgot my camera. I just want to grab my camera so I can get some pictures of Hope, Lisa, and me, for my family album. It will just take a second.”

  Waiting at the curb, Lisa finally glanced over at 415 Elm Street. Her eyes traveled up the driveway, imagining Steve standing where he always stood, right at the end of the fence that separated their house from his. Her eyes then traveled back along the side wall of the house and rested on the window that had been her escape all those long years ago.

  Susan leaned toward her sister and whispered, “Lisa, you and I survived. You never have to go back into that house, ever again, but you do have to let it go in order to really leave it.”

  Not understanding what Susan meant, Lisa said, “It’s just a house, Susan. That is all in the past now.”

  Susan knew better than to believe Lisa truly believed that was true, but this was not the time, or the place. She opened the car door as Mrs. Reiner reached it and said, “Shall we go?”

  As Hope and her grandmother sat chatting in the back seat, Lisa reviewed everything that had been discussed at Mrs. Reiner’s home. Hope never mentioned Michael. She thought about all the photos Hope had selected for her album, not one photo of her and her fiancé. That said volumes, but still she worried. Hope has been here for three days and no mention of him, why? If they had broken off their engagement, surely she would have told us. No phone calls for three days, what does that mean? Not even her parents called her on Christmas Day. Is Hope just trying to keep her two worlds separate? Maybe we are the ones causing her discomfort. Have I been more vocal than I should have been? Have I said more than I have a right to say? Yes, I am her mom, but I gave up all my rights to that a long time ago. Maybe Hope wants me to keep out of her other life? Hope is not a child, she is a grown woman who might resent me butting into her other life.

  Lisa’s attention was suddenly drawn back to the conversation in the back seat when she heard Hope say, “Grandma, this is the locket my dad gave to Lisa.” Holding it with all the tenderness it represented to her, Hope unclasped the chain so her grandmother could open it, while she offered, “Lisa never took this off until she gave it to me a few months ago.” Helping her grandmother get the locket open, Hope said, “See,” as the locket finally fell open in her hands, “that is my mom and dad, and a lock of my baby hair.”

  As Mrs. Reiner stared down at the locket, proof that her Stevie loved Lisa, Hope confessed, “Grandma, I feel like I should offer this locket to you, but I just can’t, not yet anyway. It means so much to me, knowing my birth parents loved each other, and I know my father would have loved me, if he had known about me.”

  Pushing the locket back into Hope’s hands, Mrs. Reiner pleaded, “Don’t you even think of giving this locket to me, Hope. This is your birthright. Your momma sacrificed everything to protect you. She also gave up everything to protect your dad. The fact that she held onto this locket all these years, shows me how much she loved my boy and that is enough for me.”

  As Hope lifted the locket and refastened the chain around her neck, she said, “Grandma, I almost didn’t come looking for my birth mother. I had spent most of my college years petitioning every adoption agency in California, trying to get information about my birth parents. But back then everything was sealed tight. I had almost given up when dad came to visit me at college and handed me all my original birth records. He knew I had been looking; he also knew my mother was not offering any help. She was afraid of who I might find. She didn’t want me to get hurt if my birth mother rejected me again.”

  Reaching over and holding her granddaughter’s hand, Mrs. Reiner responded, “I can understand your mother’s fear, Hope. No mother wants to see her child rejected.”

  “I know why she resisted my search,” agreed Hope. “But I just knew I needed to have closure. I needed to know where I came from. Then, when I was given Lisa’s name, I had a terrible time finding her, but I finally did.” Hope reached up and laid her hand on Lisa’s shoulder as she said, “As terrible as that night was, I am so thankful I was there. If I had not been there, we all know he would have killed her that night, and I would never have k
nown my mom.”

  Tearing up again, Mrs. Reiner added, “And I would never have known my granddaughter. I am so thankful your dad gave you those papers.”

  “Truthfully, Grandma, it wasn’t the lack of those papers that made me almost not come,” Hope corrected. “Once I found Lisa, at least the woman I believed was my Lisa, I started to make plans to fly back here to meet her. At the time, things were crazy busy at home. We were within six months of getting married, and my fiancé and his mother did not want me taking off in search of some missing relative.” The acid tone in her words spoke volumes to the three women in that car.

  “So you have a fiancé, Hope?” Mrs. Reiner asked with great surprise.

  “Yes, I do. His name is Michael and we are getting married next March. We were supposed to get married this Christmas, but because of the trial we all thought it better to postpone our wedding until March,” Hope explained without much feeling in her voice.

  “You don’t sound very enthusiastic about it, Hope,” Mrs. Reiner probed, while Lisa and Susan sat up front, daring not to breathe hard, for fear of causing Hope to end the conversation. Mrs. Reiner innocently asked the questions Lisa was dying to ask. “Hope, every bride loves to share every little detail about their wedding, but I’ve been with you for five hours and I’m just now hearing about Michael and your wedding.” Lisa adjusted the mirror on the visor in front of her so she could see these two women without turning around and ending these questions. “Hope, do you love this man?”

  Lisa’s heart flew into her throat. It was the exact question she wanted to ask.

  “Of course I do,” replied Hope.

  “Hope, your mouth is saying of course I do,” Mrs. Reiner responded lovingly, “but your eyes are saying something else. Hope, don’t marry this man when you have all these doubts. Marriage is hard enough when both parties go into it with no reservations. Don’t think things will get better by marrying him because they won’t. You are young and you have time; take it. You make sure he is the right one for you before you marry him.”