Asshole's Bride (Bad Boy Romance)

by Amy Faye

  “I don’t know if I understand what you’re saying.”

  “So if you needed a babysitter, then I could offer one.”

  “I don’t know if…”

  Mrs. Collins let out a sigh. “Please? You’d be doing me a favor. If you don’t want to ask him, then I can do it.”

  “I still don’t really know if that’s such a good idea.”

  “The boy should meet his father.”

  That made me press my lips together. “I’m not telling him, if that’s what you’re asking me to do.”

  Mrs. Collins shrugged and looked down at her phone, leaning back against the wall. She scrolled through Facebook posts that had a lot of words in them and mostly said nothing at all.

  “I didn’t ask you to do anything. I asked you to let me have a night off. Take a night off yourself. We can kill two birds with one stone, at least. And it wouldn’t be right to never let the two of them meet.”

  I let out a sigh. Morally, she’s right. It wouldn’t be right. Which is one of the biggest reasons that Dave coming back, after all this time, after never sending a single message back to any of us, after being incommunicado for almost a decade, is a problem.

  Because before this, I didn’t have to tell him. I couldn’t tell him if I wanted to. And now, I’ve got to come up with a good reason that I can’t trust him. Or at the very least, a good excuse.

  Sometimes, you have to make do.

  “You think he’ll go for it?”

  “I think if you asked him,” Mrs. Collins began. I cut her off.

  “You’re vastly overestimating what he thinks about me.” I turned and leaned to look down the hall. It was empty as far as the far kitchen wall. He might have been able to hear us, but I had no reason to believe that he had.

  “I think you’re vastly underestimating, Laura. But it’s not my choice, okay? Now, what are you planning on making me eat this time? Or will you just let me buy a damn pizza for once?”

  I sigh. “I’m not going to let you eat a pizza because Don Jones doesn’t know how to work an oven. You want a pizza that bad, I’ll make you one tomorrow, alright?”

  “Donny’s a nice enough man,” Mrs. Collins objected.

  “Of course he is,” I say patiently, walking back to the kitchen. “But nice guys don’t necessarily know how to run a kitchen, and he’s not one of the exceptions to that rule.”

  I peered into the other room, looking for some sign that Dave had heard us. He doesn’t give one. He’s leaned back and laid out on the couch. The hem of his tee shirt’s ridden up to show tight, lined muscle. Suddenly an emergency brake goes in my head.

  Don’t think it, don’t say it, and don’t go down that road again. I made a mistake once. It’s not going to be a clean brake like it was last time if I take the plunge again. But God, looking at him, do I want to.

  Five

  Dave

  I didn’t know whose idea it was to put me in this position, whether it was my mother’s or it was Laura’s. But I guessed that whatever point that they wanted to make about whether or not Laura wanted me around was driven home when the pair of them announced that she was going on a date, and I was going to be left behind to watch her kid. I mentally forced myself to correct away from ‘brat.’

  Too many kids have got no manners at all, and their parents seem almost totally disinterested in trying to resolve the situation. They’re perfectly happy to have a little, well, brat.

  Was Laura that type? Was I about to go in here and find out that the kid is a total nutcase and doesn’t have the sense that God gave a goose? Deep breath in, push the door open, and I started up towards the door. The damp lake smell still got to me, the first moment that I’m back out in the open air. Every time, in fact.

  The door in front of me opened before I can get close, and Laura stepped out. She turned as she stepped, and said something I can’t hear. She turned back.

  She looked nice. A dress that fit tight and showed off all her curves, without giving away the game. Whoever she’s going to see had better be worth it. The kid’s father? I don’t know.

  A kid appeared in the doorway. He’s got a jacket on, which must have been warm in that weather. Or maybe it was just me, thinking it’s warm. He gave me a surly look, which probably matched the look I’ve got on my own face. If I’m going to judge a kid, I’m definitely not going to judge him for not trusting some stranger.

  “Is this him?”

  Laura gave me a sharp look. “Yes, Dave, this is him. Charlie? Come here.”

  She pulled him the last foot, and he continued to glare daggers at me. I felt his eyes on me like I might get stabbed by one of them. I couldn’t hide a little smile about it. Quiet, but dangerous. Cute already.

  “Charlie, this is a friend of your mom’s, Mr. Collins.”

  “Is he related to Mrs. Collins?”

  “She’s his mother,” Laura said, with a hint of encouragement in her voice. “Would you say hello?”

  “Hey,” he answers, his voice low.

  I replied ‘hey’ right back at the same moment that she rapped him on the head softly.

  “What do we say, Charlie?”

  “‘Hay is for horses,’” he repeated, as if this is an everyday thing.

  “So what am I supposed to do?”

  “I can watch myself,” Charlie protested. “I don’t need anyone coming around here and, like, making sure that I’m kept busy.”

  “You can not, and that’s final.” Laura turned on me, and now she’s in mom mode. She could make me call her mommy any day she likes, I think. That made me smile again, and I hoped she wouldn’t pick up the general tone of what I was thinking about, because I’m fairly certain that it would get me in trouble. “As for you, uh… dinner should be done by eight, but in case I’m not home, then bed by eight-thirty, and make sure that he doesn’t watch any PG-13 movies.”

  “Come on, Mom, I’m not a little kid.”

  She smiled and a laugh bubbled out of her lips before she can suppress it. My own smile widened. “I know you’re not, Charlie. Why don’t you show Mr. Collins your Playstation?”

  He looked up at me, like he’s weighing the decision. He had a standoffish attitude to him, and I liked that. But he thought things through before he reacted, and I liked that better. It’s something I wish I’d gotten some practice with at his age. Maybe it would have helped to avoid all the problems that I ran into later on in life.

  I decided to try and tip the scales. “A Playstation?”

  He pursed his lips. I guess that was a little too forward. Or I sounded a little too stupid. One of those.

  “I guess,” he permitted finally. “Come on.”

  I followed along behind as he stepped inside, and I got my first look around at Laura’s stuff. A child is a surprise. She wasn’t married, but maybe she had a live-in boyfriend? But that didn’t fit either. Where was he if that’s the case?

  A look around at the photos on the wall didn’t give me much help. There are a lot of photos of Charlie, and photos of Charlie and Laura, but none that give some hint about who the father is.

  He turns back and waits for me like I’ve inconvenienced him by taking too long. Maybe I have.

  “Sorry,” I say, trying to sound sheepish. “I’m coming.”

  To his credit, he waited patiently, even giving a slight nod of acknowledgment. I wasn’t that polite when I was a kid. Then again, maybe I’m judging him too gently. I don’t know how old he was, and I know that at five, my mom had me on such a tight leash that I probably never showed any signs of having a wild streak in me.

  “This is my room,” he said. Then he shrugged, like it wasn’t that impressive. For an adult, it probably wasn’t. But for a kid?

  “Wow.” I didn’t have to pretend very much. “I never had a room half this nice when I was a kid.”

  When I was a kid, they’d still been working on renovations. My room was a six-by-nine that could barely fit more than a bed and a dresser, until I was fourteen. A
t that point, my dad finally decided I was old enough to help out with the construction, and the number of people actively working on what was supposed to be my bedroom increased from zero to one.

  “It’s not that great,” he said, keeping his voice flat.

  “No,” I say. “It definitely is, man.”

  I leaned against the bed. It was a loft, which is to say that it looked like a bunk bed, and of course, everyone always wanted the top bunk when I was a kid. Which is why it was perfect for just one kid. You got the top bunk, and there’s no bottom. Underneath that was a desk, with a little seat. Sized for a kid. The frame didn’t sag under my weight, which means that whoever put it together knew what they were doing.

  He picked up a controller from the table and pushed the button. I’d used these things before, in stores and stuff. Just to kill a few minutes. When you’re moving around, it’s hard to justify buying something like this and only being able to use it sometimes. So I never really took the plunge. So then he hands me one of the controllers and I took a moment to orient myself.

  “You two settling in?” I looked at the door. I’d almost forgotten Laura was still here. I guessed that she had left when we’d gone inside.

  “Looks like it,” I answered. “Anything specific I should do for supper, or…”

  She looked at Charlie. I glanced in his direction to gauge the silent conversation that they’re having with their eyes. Then she made a tentative smile before I could figure out what was going unsaid, and said “You can order pizza, if you want.”

  Charlie’s lips pinched together to hide a smile. They didn’t succeed very well, but he made the effort. I couldn’t help smiling at the attempt.

  “You got it,” I heard myself saying. She reached into her purse and pulled out a twenty.

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ll get it. Go have your night.”

  Offering to spend money on some kid I don’t even know? Something must be off with me. But I don’t say anything about it. Instead I waited while she left. The Playstation made a series of quiet musical ideas and then finally decided that it was all the way on.

  There’s only one account; the name on it said ‘Charlie’ on it, and the account picture was of him smiling. He was missing a tooth in the picture, but he wasn’t missing it any more.

  He pushed the button to move on as soon as it appeared. His expression showed that he didn’t like that it had come up with the picture, and I suddenly realize what it is with him. Surly or not, he was trying to look tough in front of me. I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel about that.

  “So what are we playing?”

  He looked at me like he was thinking hard about it, but then he looked back at the console and scrolled one to the right. It said ‘Madden NFL 17’ on it.

  “Madden,” he intoned, as the game started loading.

  It’s a good choice. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought that it was intentional. I’d played this when I was his age. Though it didn’t look anywhere near as good.

  “Go easy on me,” I said. “I’m a little rusty.”

  Six

  Laura

  I haven’t ever wanted to get out of a date faster than tonight, and I haven’t ever had one last longer after I was ready to be done with it. It was an unpleasant mixture, and one that I don’t intend to repeat if I have any choice in the matter going forward. In fact, if this is what I’m left with for the local dating scene, maybe it would be wiser of me to just stop trying altogether. I hear that nunneries are lovely this time of year.

  I took a breath before I left the car, because there’s going to be a lot of potential for a whole separate can of worms to open up when I get inside. What was I going to do if Charlie was still up, for example? He’d be ready to get a whipping. But she wasn’t supposed to do that. Everyone said so, and she knew it, and most of the time she had the self-control not to.

  But then again, it wouldn’t just be Charlie’s fault, would it? After all, there were two people in that house, and one of them was supposed to be the adult. In spite of the fact that he was probably the one more suitable, Charlie wasn’t the adult of the two of them.

  “I’m not going to get mad,” I said to myself out loud. “No matter what I find. What’s done is done, and I don’t have to worry about it. I just have to worry about correcting it. It’s my own fault anyways.”

  I pushed myself out of the car and stand up. My legs were sore and my face was hot and I stumbled a little as I came all the way up. I didn’t think I’d drank that much, but between that and standing up so suddenly, maybe I wasn’t as good as I thought that I was.

  There was one thing that immediately stood out to me. The bright yellow pizza box sticking out of the recycling bin was new. Charlie might actually be learning.

  I took a deep breath and checked my phone for the time. I said eight thirty, but it’s well past nine, almost to ten o’clock and I was just getting home. Well, I’d make all my apologies and then move on.

  The door was locked when I got up to it. I started to fuss with my keys when it opened. Dave had a can of soda in his hands, a can that certainly wasn’t in the house when I left.

  “Hey,” he said. He looked a little tired. And now that he was tired, he did a much poorer job pretending not to notice my body.

  “How did things go?”

  “They went fine. He’s been asleep since eight thirty.”

  I stepped inside, past him, and slipped my shoes off. He stood off to the side and let me take my time, which I was thankful for. I wish there were more men who were willing to back off a little, and let me take things at my own pace. Then again, the times that I’ve met men like that, they lacked a certain something in other areas.

  I didn’t need someone with me in the bedroom. I’m able to get by with a few nights a month of keeping myself entertained, and otherwise not thinking about it. But if I was going to date then it was going to go into the bedroom, too. Eventually. And I wasn’t interested in having to drag someone into it like they were doing me a favor.

  “How was he?”

  “He was great,” Dave answered again. He took a sip from the can. It sounded empty.

  I pressed the door open, and peered inside. The light spilled into the room in a thin narrow strip, but I could see that Charlie was down. Whether he was asleep or not was a matter that I didn’t want to think about. There were a thousand problems that people had to deal with; the idea that a boy would be sitting in the dark doing nothing but not being asleep was the least of my worries.

  “Yeah?”

  “You raised him pretty good.”

  I turned and looked at him. Did he know? Had he guessed? I didn’t want to think about it.

  “Thanks.”

  “You look good. I hope you had a good time.”

  “I didn’t,” I said. “You got any of that pizza left?”

  “In the fridge,” Dave answered. “Just two slices, though.”

  “Two is enough. God. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough, and he just wouldn’t let me get away.”

  “I don’t know who would,” Dave offered.

  I stared at him. What was that supposed to mean? I could understand what he probably meant by it, but it was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard him say. If he wouldn’t let me go, then why, eight years ago, had he done just that?

  “I’m glad you think so,” I said instead. “But sometimes that’s what you want.”

  “I understand that, trust me.” Dave’s face had darkened a little bit. I pulled the plate out, a pair of slightly-cold pizza slices placed side by side on it.

  “I just wish someone would come along who wasn’t a complete waste of my time.”

  Dave shifted his weight awkwardly. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but it’s probably something that he shouldn’t be. It’s probably something that I shouldn’t be. There were a lot of things I shouldn’t think about Dave. Like how he was in bed after all these years.
r />   “Yeah,” he said.

  “Are you seeing anyone? Wherever you’re living?”

  “I’m in London right now,” he said vaguely. “And I’m not really seeing anyone.”

  “Living there, or just passing through?”

  “I’ve got some stuff there, but I probably won’t be staying much longer once I get back.”

  “Where are you off to then?”

  Dave shrugged. “I don’t know. Wherever.”

  “Not back to the army, though?”

  He let out a long, low breath. “No, not back to the army. Never back to the army, if I can help it.”

  “That bad?”

  He shrugged again. “I don’t know. Just not my thing, maybe. I don’t want to live like that any more.”

  “You almost sound like you’re thinking about settling down.”

  I saw his lips twitch, as if there were something he weren’t saying. “I don’t know. Maybe. If I found someplace.”

  “What kind of place?”

  I watched him think about it. Or at least, I watched him stare impassively at my wall, while his lips pursed themselves awkwardly as if he were mimicking speech without ever opening his lips.

  “I don’t know,” he said finally. “Someplace that felt right.”

  I knew better than to say anything at all. I knew better, and I’d rehearsed this whole conversation in my head a hundred times. But I had finished most of a bottle by myself, and I wasn’t exactly in my right mind, and I’d stand by that in court.

  “How does it feel here?”

  “Different,” he said.

  “What’s so different about it? Not that much has changed.”

  “Everything’s changed.”

  “Like what?”

  I don’t know what answer I expected, but the way that he looked at me had me thinking that I could guess one of the possibilities, and I didn’t want to have to tell myself that he wasn’t going to say it. I wanted to believe that he was going to, and I let myself.

  “You’ve changed.”

  I shivered, even though it wasn’t cold. “Oh?”

  “You’re more mature, for one thing.”