Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star

by Heather Lynn Rigaud

  “You told me,” he said, standing as still as a statue.

  “But I should’ve told them! I should’ve told her!” she cried. “Damn it! I was glad he was paying attention to Charlotte because it meant he would leave me alone!” She broke down into sobs and suddenly he was there, his arms wrapped around her as she cried out her guilt.

  Her tears soon slowed and stopped. Elizabeth pulled out of his arms to turn to the window, her face hidden in her long hair.

  “Elizabeth?” he said, his voice hardly a whisper. “It wasn’t your fault.”

  Elizabeth was filled with shame and embarrassment. That he of all people should know of her failing. She couldn’t look at him. She found herself conflicted, wanting both to flee and to go to him, to let him protect and hold her.

  “Elizabeth, listen to me.” He moved so that she was in front of him, her eyes staring up at his face, her expression one of loss and pain. “It wasn’t your fault.” For a moment, Elizabeth couldn’t understand his words, because she was distracted by the fullness of his lips. They looked so soft she wanted very much to kiss them.

  She stared at him with eyes wide and dark, and without thinking, he kissed her. It was the light, gentle kiss of one angel to another. He pulled his mouth away, and she made the softest sound of protest and he fell back to her.

  Elizabeth opened her mouth to him, knowing nothing more than how good it felt. Darcy kissed her with a passion that burned her soul. He explored her mouth, skillfully teasing her into entering his. She tasted him, lost in the feeling of pleasure that only made her want more.

  Kissing Darcy was everything she had wanted it to be, and much more. She sighed as she felt his strong hands on her back, pulling her body tightly to his. She could offer no resistance, nor did she want to. Her hands grasped his shoulders as she struggled to maintain her equilibrium. Yet somehow she knew that if she fell, he would catch her and hold her up.

  She opened her mouth wide, offering more of herself to him while she tried to possess as much of him as she could. Back and forth the hungry tide went: tasting, teasing, probing, then submitting to the sweet bliss of the other’s penetration.

  Elizabeth felt a need growing large within her. Stirrings of desire that made any lust she had felt before seem like a passing caprice. Unknowingly, she cried out as his lips left hers to travel to her throat, as he kissed the line between her ear and shoulder, murmuring her name over and over. She shifted herself closer to him and was relieved rather than shocked when she felt his hand cup her full breast. Her body pushed itself into him, without any awareness on her part, seeking what it needed so badly.

  Any thoughts or questions in her mind were drowned away by the strong masculine scent of him that washed over her as she pressed her face into his neck. She licked him, trying to capture the delicious taste of his skin. Desire she dared not acknowledge before drove her on as she felt him bury his fingers in her long hair and move her head back so he could once again plunder her mouth.

  Moans of impatient pleasure were the only sounds in the room, until a knock on the door thundered in their ears. Elizabeth froze then hurriedly stepped back as Caroline’s voice came to them: “Darcy, Lizzy, we need you.”

  With a rush that almost knocked her off her feet, everything came back to Elizabeth: Charlotte, Collins, everything. She paled then flamed as she remembered her situation, even as her fingertips were tracing over her swollen lips.

  Darcy looked at her, his dark eyes a one-way mirror, which she could not see through to his feelings. “Are you okay?” he asked with obvious concern.

  Elizabeth nodded, not yet having found her voice.

  “We better go back,” his voice was soft.

  Elizabeth closed her eyes and nodded in agreement as her hand unconsciously soothed her hair back into place. He watched her, his eyes drinking in the sight of her, then turned forcefully away and walked out of the room.

  Elizabeth, still in a daze, followed him to the living room, where Caroline, Alex, Jane, and Charles were waiting for them. She sat down next to Jane with a weak smile, which Jane returned. “Where’s Charlotte?” she asked softly.

  “Charlotte needs some time alone,” Alex answered quietly, his face one of shock and barely controlled anger.

  “Did Richard leave?”

  Alex nodded once.

  “Now that everyone is here, I think it’s clear we need to do something,” Caroline said in her authority voice. “It’s obvious that Collins is a problem.”

  Darcy interrupted her. “I’ve taken care of that.” He cleared his throat and continued. “Bill Collins is no longer LBS’s A and R. Anne de Bourgh will now be handling both bands.”

  Elizabeth came out of her daze with his words. She questioned for a moment if she heard them correctly, but Caroline was already speaking.

  “Good. That takes care of a huge worry. Thank you, Darcy.” She turned to the rest of the group. “Okay, why don’t we go and get dinner. I think we all need to get out of this hotel room for a little bit, and food will help.”

  “I’ll stay with Charlotte,” Alex told the room. Caroline nodded.

  Elizabeth stood up with the others and gathered her bag. She was silent, but inside her mind was reeling. She wanted to stay with Charlotte, but when she thought back to their last meeting, she feared she would not be welcomed.

  Then she brushed against Darcy as they entered the elevator, and a new wave of questions overcame her. What had she just done? She glanced out of the corner of her eye at Darcy, but he was looking straight ahead. She wished she knew what he was thinking. Her lips were still tingling as the group traveled to the pair of limos that were waiting for them in the front of the hotel. She forced her hands to keep from touching them.

  There was small talk in the cars, but Elizabeth didn’t hear any of it. Her thoughts were too full. She kissed Darcy, oh God! She struggled to make any sense of it. She knew she desired him, almost since their first meeting. She never tried to deny it. At first she thought he was completely uninterested in her. Clearly that presumption was incorrect. She shivered as she remembered the feel of his mouth working against hers.

  But what did it mean? If he was attracted to her, why did he pick this time—when she was feeling horrible for her friend—to show it? A cold, still feeling overcame her as a dark part of her mind whispered, “Because he knew you were vulnerable.” Her eyes tentatively glanced at him again. He was wearing his sunglasses, but his head was turned in her direction, and she could feel his gaze upon her. She could feel her pulse quicken.

  Had he taken advantage of her distress? She was so upset when he came to her that she would have turned to anyone for comfort at that moment. And he did call her into her bedroom. She wondered if she had made a grave miscalculation in trusting him.

  Yet, at the same time, she didn’t really believe it. It was hard to believe that he could be interested in her, but when she remembered the kindness he had shown her, offering advice on the tour and comfort when Jane was injured, she couldn’t believe he was that deceptive. Besides, she reasoned, he was Fitzwilliam Darcy; he received a dozen letters each day from women who would be happy to be used by him.

  No, she couldn’t believe he was just taking advantage of the moment. Besides, she admitted, she was hardly an unwilling victim. Her mind replayed once again the memory of kissing him. Maybe it was possible that he was attracted to her, just as she was to him, and in a moment of weakness, those barriers broke down?

  She didn’t know what to think. The idea that he was taking advantage of her seemed cruel, unfair, and wrong, yet the idea that he, Fitzwilliam Darcy, could be attracted to her seemed the height of vanity and foolishness.

  The limo stopped and they exited. Elizabeth stopped to look up at the restaurant and was so struck by the absurdity of the situation that she laughed out loud.

  “Don’t you like Japanese?” Darcy asked, his voice so low that only she heard it.

  “No, actually, I love it. It just seems like a wei
rd place to be after,” she shrugged, “everything.”

  Darcy took a casual look at the street and then his eyes met Rebecca’s. He shared a nod with his security expert then said to Elizabeth, “Come on,” guiding her into the restaurant.

  The Osho was crowded, with a long, narrow dining room. The sushi bar was at the front, before a large bay of windows looking out on to the street. Long rows of tables lined the walls of the restaurant toward the back.

  Elizabeth drifted away from the group to look appraisingly at the sushi counter, where rows of brightly colored fresh fish sat under glass.

  “I hope you are not planning on eating that bait again, Will.” Charles’s voice rang out in her ears.

  “Maybe if you tried it,” his soft voice answered enticingly.

  “Oh no, I like my food cooked,” Charles laughed in reply.

  “Do you like sushi?” Darcy’s voice was suddenly much closer. Elizabeth looked up to find him staring over her shoulder at the selection of fish.

  “Yes, I do,” she answered. “But I usually don’t order it. It bothers Jane.”

  Darcy removed his sunglasses and his eyes flicked over a small empty table in the window nearby. “We could sit here and have some together.”

  Elizabeth was torn. She still didn’t quite trust him, yet at the same time, she wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was the sushi in the end that won her over. She had not had it in so long, and she found it just too appealing to pass up. With a nod she agreed.

  Darcy turned and put a word in Caroline’s ear, and a minute later, the two of them were seated together at the lone table. “What do you like?” he asked her as they examined the menus before them.

  Elizabeth’s eyebrow arched. Here was where she would be able to tell if this was a sincere offer of fish or just a ploy to get her alone. “I usually prefer nigiri-zushi to maki,” she said, deliberately using the Japanese words.

  Darcy didn’t react at all. “Do you like hako-zushi?” he asked, his eyes not leaving the menu.

  Elizabeth remained indifferent and returned his serve. “I love hako-zushi unagi. It’s one of my favorites.” She waited to see if he would react to her preference for grilled eel.

  He didn’t. “I always order unagi at a new place. I find it’s one way to judge the restaurant’s quality.” It was his ball and a tiny curl of his mouth told her that he knew it. “So, we’ll have some unagi—how do you feel about tuna, salmon, yellowtail, mackerel?”

  Elizabeth nodded to all of this. “Oh, do they have toro?”

  Darcy’s eyebrows shot up. “I’ll check,” he answered in a pleased voice. Then both sides of his mouth curled and Elizabeth knew he was leveling a big gun at her. “How do you feel about uni?”

  Elizabeth grinned lightly. Truthfully, the ground raw sea urchin had never been something she could tolerate, but her honor was at stake. “I only like it if it’s exceptionally fresh,” she bluffed convincingly.

  Darcy nodded once, satisfied. “Do you mind if I order for both of us and we can share?”

  Elizabeth smiled, pleased in spite of herself. Whatever else he knew, Darcy at least knew sushi, and she was looking forward to it. “That would be nice,” she answered.

  The waitress came and Darcy ordered what seemed to Elizabeth to be a vast quantity, but she knew she could eat a disgustingly large amount of sushi, given the chance, so she didn’t care.

  The waitress came back a moment later with green tea for both of them. Elizabeth picked up the thick, handleless mug and blew across the hot brew. Her feelings were still jangled from before, but the tea helped her to relax. Darcy watched her silently and then asked, “Are you okay?”

  Elizabeth smiled bitterly and shook her head no.

  Darcy frowned, looking down at his teacup, then back at her. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth.”

  She wondered what exactly he was apologizing for.

  “I should have dealt with Collins back when you told me.”

  Elizabeth ignored the uncomfortable sensations of relief that he hadn’t apologized for kissing her and focused on his words.

  “I had thought a warning and taking him off the tour would be enough. Apparently not, and I’m very sorry.”

  Elizabeth was touched by the sincere contrition in his words. “It wasn’t your fault,” she said, unable to meet his eyes. “It wasn’t even your problem.”

  “If it happens on my tour, it’s my problem,” he said simply.

  “No, it’s not,” she objected. “Look, he was our A and R executive. We should have been the ones to deal with him.” She sounded angry, even to her ears.

  “How?” he asked bluntly.

  Elizabeth opened her mouth to respond, then closed it with a snap and a hard look at Darcy.

  “The fact of the matter is there was nothing you could do, Elizabeth. You have no power over De Bourgh, and unless you wanted to take this public…” He lifted an eyebrow suggestively.

  Elizabeth frowned at that idea.

  “Exactly. So there was nothing you could do.” He sighed. “I understand. You want to make it by yourself. You don’t want to be helped. I know. I’ve been there.” He paused as a small wooden boat covered with a beautiful arrangement of sushi was brought to their table.

  Elizabeth smiled at the display then looked back to him, her expression serious as she willed him to continue.

  “The fact of the matter is this had to be stopped and stopped now.” He paused a moment to eat a piece of tuna. “I know it’s difficult to accept help, but it’s better than the alternative, and in the end, I simply couldn’t let this go on. Five years from now, I don’t want to be reading headlines about a ‘Slurry sexual harassment’ case.”

  Elizabeth admitted to herself that he made a valid point. It didn’t make the truth any easier to swallow, but he was right and now she needed to admit it. “Sorry I jumped on you like that,” she apologized.

  Darcy nodded. “I know the person you are really mad at is fat, greasy, stands about this tall, and answers to the name of Collins.”

  Elizabeth smiled and felt a huge burden lift from her shoulders.

  “You better hurry up,” Darcy motioned with his chopsticks. “I don’t know how long I can keep from eating all the toro.”

  She dug in, and as she ate, she was surprised again at how easy it was to be with him. She realized that he was carefully keeping the conversation to light topics, but even so, she was pleased at how similar their views were.

  The combination of tea, fish, rice, and conversation was doing a great deal to improve her condition. “You look like you are feeling better,” Darcy observed.

  “I am,” she confirmed. “Thank you.” She smiled inwardly and then asked, “How do you manage it all without going nuts? This week I’ve been up and down so much emotionally, I don’t know where I am anymore.”

  Darcy studied her face then carefully reached out and offered her his free hand.

  She stared at it a moment, then took it with a squeeze. “A part of me wants to go away from all this. To go home and just be me again and stay in one place for a week.”

  Darcy’s eyes turned sad. “You can never go back, Elizabeth. I thought you knew that.”

  Elizabeth nodded. “I know. I feel like I’m on a ship crossing the ocean. I can’t go backward, and I can’t get off, I can only go where the ship takes me.”

  “Do you regret your trip?” Darcy asked, his eyes searching hers.

  “No,” she said with a surprising certainty. “No, this is what I wanted. It’s not always pretty, it’s not always easy, but it is what I want.”

  Darcy seemed impressed with her answer. He squeezed her hand again and then released it to continue eating.

  “Can I ask you something?” she asked as the waitress refilled their tea.

  Darcy shrugged.

  “I notice I’ve never seen you drink alcohol,” she observed.

  Darcy finished the bite in his mouth. “Simple reason, I don’t.”

  “
Not at all?”

  “Not usually,” Darcy shook his head. “I don’t like to be under the influence of anything.”

  She smiled and arched her eyebrow. “Oh, the famous Darcy control.”

  He stilled and took a long look at her, his eyes sweeping down and up her body. Elizabeth swallowed hard as she knew they were both remembering their earlier moments together.

  She licked her lips nervously and tried to continue the conversation. “I mean, um, you seem so different from your public, bad-boy image,” she stammered.

  Darcy visibly refocused himself. “That’s because it is just that, a public image. It’s useful to let people believe you are something you are not. It gives you some distance from the fans,” he answered, not without some difficulty.

  Elizabeth made herself look away from his lips. “I, um, I was just surprised.” She smiled weakly. “You hear all these rumors of decadence and depravity, and you have all been practically monks.”

  Darcy looked at her in amused disbelief. Elizabeth laughed at herself and amended her statement. “Okay, well, Richard is certainly not a monk.”

  Darcy shook his head no, his mouth curled into a grin.

  “All right!” Elizabeth said with mock surrender. “Okay, I take it back. I’m the only one living a monk life. Everyone else is getting plenty of action. Happy?”

  Darcy’s forehead crinkled. “You think so?”

  “Well, Richard and Charlotte have been busy, we both know that.” Darcy nodded. “And I suspect Jane and Charles are doing something more than just writing songs. And you have that Amy woman,” she tried to say lightly, but failed utterly.

  Darcy smiled to himself. “Amy is my head attorney with Darcy Technologies. Our relationship is strictly professional.”

  Elizabeth looked at him with frank disbelief.

  “All right,” Darcy sighed. “Years ago, Amy and I had a relationship.”

  “What happened?”

  He lifted an indifferent shoulder. “She graduated from law school and got a position with a firm, and Slurry got big and started touring constantly. We soon figured out that we wanted different things.”