Cold Cold Sea

by Linda Huber

  Mark grimaced. ‘If Mrs Marshall shut the door on you she wouldn’t have reacted well if you’d barged straight back in armed with tea and sympathy. But her husband should have arrived home by now, shouldn’t he?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Katie thoughtfully. ‘And Hailey’s been missing him, they obviously have a good relationship.’

  ‘Why don’t you try phoning? Just say you were worried because she looked a bit stressed and can you do anything. She won’t say yes, but you’d be able to judge how she sounds.’

  Katie pulled out her phone. She made the connection and listened as the Marshalls’ phone rang in her ear.

  ‘There’s no-one in,’ she said at last.

  ‘Which means that Mr Marshall has arrived and either taken them out for a meal, or is dealing with whatever’s wrong,’ said Mark. ‘Either way, Hailey’ll be fine. You’re worrying too much.’

  Katie looked at him miserably, and he reached across and squeezed her hand.

  ‘Tell you what,’ he said. ‘You give me your one hundred per cent attention for the next hour and a half, and then on the way home we’ll drive past the Marshalls’ place and see what’s happening. They won’t be out late with Hailey on a school night.’

  ‘Done.’ Katie smiled, feeling better immediately. As Mark said, Mr Marshall would deal with anything wrong. She was being silly here.

  ‘Good. So let’s talk about something completely different now. Like shrimps.’

  The waiter had appeared with their food. Katie grinned at Mark across the steaming plates.

  Chapter Eight

  Jennifer moaned, writhing in the passenger seat, and Phillip slowed down. The road was pretty uneven here, and he didn’t want to drive fast over bumps with Jennifer in this state.

  ‘Oh, honey,’ he said helplessly, when the contraction had passed and she was leaning back again, breathing heavily. ‘Have you phoned the clinic? Do they know you’re in labour?’

  ‘No,’ said Jennifer, looking at him with those over-bright eyes. ‘I wanted so much to be at home when you arrived, and I knew Dr Rosen would insist I went straight in. And it’s fine, really. We’re in plenty of time.’

  ‘Yes, but... ’ Phillip stopped before he said something he’d regret. To accuse Jennifer of risking the lives of her unborn children would be pointless - cruel, even. But just what was going on in her head? The babies were going to be premature, and here she was, more worried about surprising him than about her children. She wasn’t capable of thinking straight at the moment, so much was clear. How long had she been like this? And most of all, why? She’d been doing so well when he left. But he was home to stay now, and he would deal with this. Just one thing at a time. Babies first, and then...

  ‘Alright back there, sweetheart?’ he said, glancing in the mirror at the child on the back seat.

  She was cowering in the corner, her face white. Phillip pursed his lips. Deep down he’d been afraid that Jennifer wasn’t coping, but this was worse than even his darkest thoughts.

  She’d said her name was Hailey Marshall.

  Where had this child come from?

  ‘Oh no, Phillip, I have to push!’

  Phillip pressed his foot down.

  ‘Don’t push! Pant!’ he shouted, memories of a distant antenatal class leaping to the front of his brain. ‘Here’s the clinic now. Just two more minutes!’

  Panicking now, Phillip gunned the car up the long driveway to the main entrance and stopped with a screech of brakes. He raced inside. Two women were already coming towards him.

  ‘My wife’s having twins in the car!’ he yelled, and in a moment there were people running past him, helping Jennifer into a wheelchair and rushing her along the corridor.

  Phillip went back for the child.

  ‘Come along, honey. We’ll just see about the babies first, and then afterwards I promise you I’ll get things fixed up for you. Everything. Properly. Okay?’

  She looked up at him, gave him her hand, and walked beside him along the corridor. Memories of his own girl’s hand in his made him feel quite dizzy for a moment, and he clenched his other fist tightly. A grey-haired doctor, name-tagged Consultant Obstetrician G. Rosen with a string of letters after his name, came towards him.

  ‘Geoff Rosen,’ he said, shaking hands. ‘Hello, Hailey. Don’t worry, Mummy’s going to be just fine.’

  A nurse led the child away, and Phillip dismissed her from his mind and struggled into a green hospital gown. First things first.

  Jennifer was propped up on a narrow bed in the labour room. Her breath was coming in pants, and Phillip hurried to her side. He’d been present when Hailey was born too, but he had no idea any more what he should do to help.

  They’d been so happy and excited at Hailey’s birth. The whole future was theirs. And for a little while they’d been able to live the dream.

  Now here they were in another hospital and two more babies were about to be born. What would happen to them all? Phillip knew that all he had ever wanted was the chance to be a family again. But there was no way to put the clock back, Hailey was gone forever and Jennifer was different now. Hadn’t the clinic staff noticed her irrational behaviour? But they had obviously accepted the new Hailey as Jennifer’s daughter so apparently not.

  A nurse was attaching a monitor cable to Jennifer’s huge tummy, and Phillip stroked damp hair back from her face.

  ‘Wouldn’t a Caesarean be safer?’

  He could hardly get the words out, these were his children, his children. He was to have another chance at being a father.

  Dr Rosen shook his head.

  ‘Jennifer wanted a normal birth, and so far everything’s looking good. Strong heart sounds from both babies, and because it’s not your first birth, Jennifer, it should go quite smoothly. We’re five weeks early but we know that both babies are over two kilos.’

  Phillip nodded, not at all reassured. He tried to work things out. Jennifer must have been at the end of her fourth month of pregnancy when he left for California. He hadn’t had the slightest suspicion, sex wasn’t a regular event in their lives anymore and the medication had put a few extra kilos on Jennifer anyway. So when had the new Hailey entered the equation? Now he knew why Jennifer had been so very vehement about not coming to the States, even under the circumstances he’d been in.

  Another contraction started. Phillip gripped Jennifer’s hands tightly, holding his breath.

  ‘Is everything okay?’ he asked.

  ‘Everything is fine,’ said Dr Rosen. ‘We know one baby is in the breech position, so I want to have the other one out first.’

  Phillip stood by Jennifer’s bed, his mind reeling. There was no way he could work out what his wife had been thinking.

  ‘Pant for the head, Jennifer,’ said Dr Rosen.

  Jennifer moaned loudly, tossing her head from side to side. Phillip dabbed the sweat from her face and panted energetically along with her.

  ‘Good, here we are - it’s a boy!’

  The baby cried, a thin newborn wail, and Phillip felt tears gush from his own eyes. He had a son.

  Another doctor had taken the baby to the side and was examining him. Phillip walked towards him.

  ‘Two point four kilos, everything working well.’

  The nurse wrapped the baby in a towel and handed him over. Emotion was making Phillip’s hands tremble. He was holding his son.

  ‘Look, Jennifer,’ he whispered, taking the baby to the bedside. ‘Our little boy. We need a name for him now.’

  ‘Daniel,’ said Jennifer, kissing the baby’s face. ‘Daniel John.’

  Phillip nodded. Hailey would have been Daniel John if she’d been a boy. Another contraction gripped Jennifer.

  ‘Just a little push, please, Jennifer,’ said Dr Rosen. ‘Here we are again, almost there - and it’s a girl!’

  The second baby cried too, less heartily than her brother. The paediatrician took her to the side. Phillip held his breath.

  ‘She’s fine too, but she’s tired.
Have a quick cuddle then we’ll pop them both in an incubator for a rest,’ she said, bringing the baby across. Jennifer lay there cradling both babies, and Phillip stared at her eyes. They were so bright, so happy.

  Then he remembered the little girl. This was all such a mess. If only Jennifer had let Hailey go. Let her be a sad, treasured memory. Then they could have started again, been happy now with their twins. As things were it was all going to get very complicated. Very soon now he was going to have to go out of this room and do something about the child upstairs.

  Dr Rosen clapped his shoulder.

  ‘Congratulations, both of you. Two lovely babies. Phillip, why don’t you go up and show Hailey her new brother and sister while I finish here with Jennifer? You can stay the night, if you want to, there’s a family room with everything you need.’

  ‘I’ll see,’ said Phillip. ‘I’ve been travelling all day, I think I would quite like to sleep in my own bed.’

  He needed space to think, too, how best to get them all out of this mess. Maybe he should just take Dr Rosen aside right now and tell him the whole story, let the medical people take over. But they might send Jennifer back to the psychiatric hospital. And what would happen to the babies if they did? He had to think first. He could decide what best to do when he knew who the little girl was.

  He stepped into the lift. The easiest way to find out her real name was simply to ask her.

  Chapter Nine

  The child was sitting at a table in the family room, colouring. She stopped when he went in, and he saw that she had drawn two balls and two teddy bears. Phillip braced himself. He’d have to pretend this was all normal. At least until he got home.

  He sat down opposite the little girl. ‘Well, ah, Hailey. The babies are here. A boy and a girl. Would you like to see them?’

  She nodded, and he took her hand and led her to the nursery. Again, the sensation of her hand resting trustingly in his own was almost more than he could bear.

  Hailey seemed fascinated by the babies, lying side by side in the incubators. The nurse explained everything, and Phillip nodded, though he really wasn’t registering what she was saying. It was too much to take in. His children. Tired or not, he could have gazed at them for hours. Those perfect little faces, eyes closed in sleep.

  ‘Alright, Hailey?’ asked the nurse, and the child by his side nodded. Phillip patted her shoulder. Poor little thing. She must know that he wasn’t Daddy and the babies weren’t her siblings. Or maybe she believed it now. Phillip looked at his watch. He felt as if it should be midnight at least, but it was only half past eight.

  ‘Are you hungry, sweetheart?’ he asked, and the child nodded again. She didn’t speak much, he noticed. But that was hardly surprising.

  ‘Let’s say goodnight to - Mummy now, and then we’ll go home and come back in the morning.’

  Tomorrow he would know more, and he could have a frank talk with Jennifer and bring some order into the chaos she had created.

  ‘I’ve got school in the morning,’ said Hailey, and Phillip rubbed his face. One complication after another. How had Jennifer got this child into a school as Hailey Marshall, didn’t you need paperwork for that? But of course, they had Hailey’s birth certificate...

  ‘School. Okay. Where is it?’ he said, walking with her down the corridor.

  ‘It’s Polpayne Castle Primary. Mummy takes me in the car. I start at quarter to nine.’

  ‘And you want to go tomorrow?’

  ‘Yes.’

  She seemed quite definite about that, and Phillip nodded. It would give him time to get things sorted out.

  ‘Right. You can visit the babies after school,’ he said.

  As soon as the words were said he could have bitten his tongue. If he told someone about her tomorrow, she would be collected from school and taken back to wherever she’d come from.

  ‘Will they both have names then?’

  ‘Yes. We’ll find a name for our baby girl tomorrow,’ said Phillip wearily, but glad to be able to promise something definite. His head felt heavy, his eyelids like weights, but finding a girl’s name was at least something within his control.

  Jennifer was asleep in her private room. Phillip stared at her white face, pity almost overwhelming him. She had been through so much. He kissed her forehead, then took the child back to the car, settling her booster seat into the front and taking his place beside her. He needed to talk to her. He just had to start at the beginning.

  ‘Um, sweetheart,’ he said, leaning towards her and trying to sound both casual and reassuring. ‘What was your name before you were Hailey? Can you remember?’

  The child shrank away from him, horror shining from her eyes. She ducked her head. ‘Hailey Marshall,’ she said quickly in a low voice.

  Phillip patted her leg. ‘I meant before you were Hailey Marshall. Before you met Mummy, what was your name then?’

  She raised both hands to her face. ‘Hailey Marshall,’ she said.

  Dismayed, Phillip saw that she was terrified. Her little hands were actually shaking.

  ‘Sweetheart - Hailey, it’s okay. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you. You’re a very, very good girl,’ he said, frantically trying to make good the distress he had caused her. For a long moment she stared at him, then she nodded slowly. Phillip blinked back tears. It really was as if his own Hailey was sitting there nodding at him.

  Jennifer must have said or done something terrible to instil such fear in this little girl. This was more than just a moment’s madness, he realised dully, but they simply had to put it right again.

  ‘Okay, Hailey. Home, food, and bed,’ he said, starting the engine. ‘How does that sound?’

  The child didn’t answer. She was still hunched up in the seat and Phillip pressed his lips together. She was much too thin, all eyes. How long had she been with Jennifer? And why, why, why had no-one realised? Wasn’t somebody, the police or anybody looking for this child? She must have a family somewhere. What must they be going through? They couldn’t know what had happened to their daughter. And he of all people knew how it felt when you lost a daughter.

  He made himself smile at the child. ‘Bet you’re the smartest girl in your class,’ he said.

  She stared at him, and to his relief she smiled briefly.

  Thank Christ she had school tomorrow. It would give him time to talk to Jennifer and get some answers. He was going to need a lot of answers before he could decide the best thing to do. And something was telling him that none of it was going to be easy.

  Chapter Ten

  ‘It’s next right,’ said Katie as Mark drove up the hill from Polpayne harbour. She leaned forward in her seat and stared as Hailey’s home came into view in the almost darkness. Mark pulled up under a street lamp a few yards from the house.

  ‘They’re home now,’ he observed.

  The blind was down in what Katie knew was the living room, and a dim light shone round the edges, as if maybe a small lamp was on. And upstairs another muted glow came from behind Hailey’s pink curtains. Two cars were parked in the driveway, the BMW and a grey VW.

  Relief washed through Katie. Mr Marshall was back, and by the looks of things the occupants of the house were settling down for the night.

  ‘If that’s Hailey’s room, I think a little girl’s fast asleep in there with her night light on,’ said Mark. ‘I don’t suppose you want to ring the bell and ask how her parents are doing, their first evening together for months?’

  ‘You’re right, I don’t,’ said Katie. ‘Sorry, Mark. I guess I got a bit over-involved here.’

  ‘We all do that at times,’ said Mark.

  He reached across and took her hand, and Katie squeezed back. She should say something now. The restaurant, with all the other diners around them and Hailey still niggling at the back of her mind, hadn’t seemed the place to bring up their own relationship. Over the shrimp they’d put the world to rights the way they usually did, then talked books over dessert. Fun, but light. Kat
ie took a deep breath.

  ‘Mark, I want you to know that I think we could be really good together,’ she said nervously. ‘It’s just I wasn’t expecting to feel like this... ’

  He gave her hand a little shake.

  ‘Katie, I know. It’s alright. I don’t care how long we spend getting to know each other. On the other hand, we’ll eventually come to a point where we either both want commitment, or we don’t. I thought - ’

  He twisted round in his seat until he was almost facing her, still gripping her hand.

  ‘I’m going to Aberdeen for a few weeks soon,’ he said. ‘My sister’s going in for an operation; she was badly burned last year and this is the last big plastic surgery op. She’s divorced with four kids so someone has to go and be with them. Caroline who had my class last year is coming back while I’m away.’

  Katie nodded. Perhaps a little space would be a good thing. They could still be in touch but she would have time to get her thoughts organised.

  ‘We could Skype,’ he said, giving her a rueful almost-smile in the yellow light from the street lamp. ‘And we can have lots of long, communicative phone calls, get to know each other properly without the stress of staring at each other in a restaurant wondering if we should leap into bed afterwards. And then when I come back, we’ll both know the answer.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Katie. She smiled back. ‘Well, Hailey’s fast asleep, and we’re sorted until you come back. Let’s go back to mine for a quick decaf. Chinese restaurant coffee doesn’t really cut it.’

  Mark pulled the car around. Katie sat in the darkness, feeling peace settle over her. There was nothing to worry about now.

  Chapter Eleven

  ‘I think he’s off again now,’ said Maggie, flopping into the sofa beside Colin and exhaling wearily. It was nearly midnight.

  ‘Let’s hope so,’ said Colin, rubbing his face. ‘It’s been a bit of a marathon tonight, hasn’t it? Poor little sod.’

  Joe never had any trouble falling asleep at night, but recently he had taken to waking up an hour or so later, hot and crying after a nightmare. He was never able to tell them what he’d been dreaming about, and Maggie could only assume it was connected to Olivia’s disappearance. She should have been here for him long ago; staying at the cottage had done nothing for Olivia and if she’d come home sooner she might have been able to help Joe. But then again, her return could even be the cause of poor Joe’s nightmares. It was a no-win situation all round.