Heart Of The Outback, Volume 2

by Margaret Way

  “Are you really OK?”

  Steffi nodded and from somewhere dredged up a smile. “Yes, promise.”

  “Can we go and see Matt?”

  “I think right now he’s probably not allowed lots of visitors. I’ll ring Anna and see, but Mummy might just go down to Adelaide to see him and you can stay here with Daddy.”

  “Who’s going to look after you?”

  “I promise I’ll be fine, sweetheart, and I’ll ring you lots so you can hear for yourself. I’ll only be gone for a couple of days. I have to organise our old house down there anyway, arrange to have our things brought here, now that we’re staying.” She knew she was talking unnecessarily, but she had to prove to Jess, and herself, that she was OK, really OK. That she didn’t need anyone to look after her. She’d always done just fine for the two of them on her own. She just hadn’t known, until now, how much she’d started counting on Matt sharing that role with her.

  Racing through the main entrance to Prince Edward’s, Steffi didn’t pause to look around the familiar surroundings but headed straight for the bank of lifts on the far side of the foyer. Pushing the “up” button repeatedly she paced up and down while she waited for the doors to open. When it eventually did, she found she had it to herself and, after selecting the third floor, she sagged against the back wall, watching the numbers light up as the lift ascended.

  She’d spent a sleepless night fretting about Matt, frustrated she hadn’t been able to get on a flight until this morning. Anna had phoned from Adelaide. She’d got the last available seat, which Steffi knew was right but that hadn’t lessened her frustration. She knew from Anna that Matt’s condition was stable, although he’d sustained damage to his spinal cord but, as yet, they didn’t know the extent of it. She had to see Matt for herself before she could take it all in. Hearing reports over the phone did nothing to calm her fears although she’d at least managed to avoid any more panic attacks.

  The lift doors opened and she turned right towards the neurosurgical unit. She strode down the long corridor, forcing herself not to run, and crossed her fingers, hoping that she would know one of the duty nurses. Technically they didn’t have to grant permission for her to visit Matt as she wasn’t immediate family. She wondered if Anna had told him she was coming. Would he have asked to see her? He was probably too medicated to really know what was going on.

  She breathed a sigh of relief to see Julian at the nurses” station.

  “Steffi, how are you?” Julian came around the desk to hug her. “You’re here to see Dr Zeller. His sister told me you were coming.” She and Julian had been friends since they’d studied together, a friendship that had survived some tough times and one that hadn’t diminished even as their lives had taken different directions.

  “Julian.” Steffi kissed him on the cheek. “How’s he doing? Can I see him?”

  “He’s awake but the pain relief is making him drowsy. There’s no one with him at the moment so you can pop in, but only briefly.”

  “Five minutes?”

  “Sure. He’s in room two.”

  Now that she was finally here, Steffi found herself reluctant to take the last few steps. She forced her feet to move forward until she was at Matt’s door. There was a glass panel in it and through it she could see Matt. He looked thinner, lying in the bed, the white sheet pulled up to his waist, his chest bare. It was his height that gave him size and, lying down, his long, lean frame seemed to blend into the bed. But his face was the same, the perfect profile and strong cheekbones that she’d have recognised anywhere. She knocked a couple of times then pushed the door open.

  Matt’s head turned towards the door and his face lit up as their eyes met. All Steffi’s doubts vanished and she flew to his side. He lifted his hand from the bed and she grasped it, bending down to press her lips to his, letting her concern flow out, hoping to heal his injuries through strength of will.

  “Thank God you made it. How are you feeling?”

  Matt’s smile took half her worries away. Keeping hold of her hand, he said, “The painkillers are taking the edge off everything. My lower back is aching and my head is pretty tender, but I’m actually glad to feel something. I wish I could feel my legs. I’d prefer them to be agonising rather than completely useless, like they are now.”

  “What have the doctors told you?”

  “That I was very lucky. I had an X-ray and a MRI scan last night, and I don’t seem to have fractured any vertebrae, which was their first concern. I’ve sustained severe trauma to the spinal nerves, though, and they think that the paraplegia is from swelling and compression in the area.” He sounded OK about things, quite matter-of-fact. She knew she wouldn’t have been so calm if the roles had been reversed. Was he really OK or was he still in shock or, worse, in denial?

  “Do they think it’s only temporary?”

  “They hope so. They want me to rest for a few days and see what happens. They’ll do further tests, depending on how things unfold over the next day or two.”

  Relief that Matt had survived flooded through Steffi so that now fear turned to anger. “How could you risk your life like that?”

  “He was my father’s best mate and like an uncle to me. I couldn’t leave him on his own. I’m a doctor, I might have been able to make a difference.”

  Steffi could see the pain in his eyes and felt contrite, thinking beyond Matt’s physical health for the first time and realising that, of course, he’d see the miner’s death as a failure on his part, even though there’d been nothing he could have done.

  “I’m sorry, Matt, sorry for your loss and sorry for snapping. I wouldn’t expect you to stand by and do nothing, but thinking of the danger you put yourself in frightened me.”

  “It didn’t turn out quite the way I imagined, I have to admit.”

  She could see him becoming fatigued, trying to force his eyelids to remain open, smothering a yawn. She squeezed his hand and kissed him on the cheek. “You need to rest. I’ll pop back later today.”

  Steffi took a taxi to her house, but even the familiar surroundings didn’t lift her spirits and she wandered through what had been home, straightening pictures that weren’t crooked, replumping the overstuffed couch cushions and wiping down the spotless benchtops. The plan had been to start sorting through her belongings, decide what she and Jess would need to take to Port Cadney and what could be stored or disposed of, but images of Matt kept floating in and out of her mind. Pictures of Matt as she’d seen him over the past few weeks. Vital, active. Playing in the sea with Jess and Susie, carrying Bobby from the burning fishing trawler, standing at the operating table in Theatre. Visions of Matt as the strong, healthy man he’d been—would be again, soon—bombarded her senses.

  Her mobile phone rang as she was rearranging cushions for the third time in as many minutes.

  “Stef, Rick. How’s it going?”

  “Better and worse than expected.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that it seems he’s escaped serious injury but there’s a bit of a wait-and-see element to it all. He’s not in the clear yet by any stretch. How’s Jess?”

  “Terrific. She had another good day at school and she’s got a friend over to play at the moment.”

  “You’re coping OK?”

  “No worries at all. Can’t see what you women always complain about. Looking after a kid is a heck of a lot easier than working on oil rigs.”

  Steffi bit back a quick retort. Rick was doing her a favour by minding Jess, even if she was his daughter, too, but Steffi would love to return to this conversation in a week’s time. One day, particularly a school day, was not a good indication of the effort involved in raising a child.

  “So you can manage for a couple more days?”

  “A couple more? When are you planning on coming back? Don’t you have a new job to get back to?”

  “I only had two shifts this week while I get some clients handed over, and I’ve done those. I thought
I might come back on Saturday, seeing as Jess is in school. Is that all right with you?”

  “Right. OK, then, that should be fine.”

  Steffi heard the note of panic and smiled to herself, but she wasn’t about to let him off the hook. Rick was more than capable of looking after Jess, she never would have left Jess in his care if she’d doubted that. “You can always call your parents or mine if you need a hand.”

  “No worries, we’ll manage.”

  “Great. Tell Jess I’ll give her a call after dinner. Thanks, Rick.”

  Knowing that she had another day or two in Adelaide gave Steffi the motivation to get stuck into some jobs. She had decided to rent out the house initially and rent the unit in Port Cadney from Lauren. She needed to sort out her things and although she didn’t have time to get it all done on this trip she could make a start. A few hours later their clothes and some of Jess’s books and toys were sorted into three piles—one to keep, one to toss and one to give away. The clock on the wall showed it was nearly five so she took a quick shower, the timing right to get back to the hospital just after Matt’s dinner.

  “Hi, there. How’s your afternoon been?” Steffi came into the room, like a much-needed breath of fresh air. She leant down, brushing a kiss on his lips.

  “Dull. I can’t stand lying around like this. I hate sitting still and I’ve never been good at doing nothing.” Matt cringed as he heard the whinging note creep into his voice, but nearly twenty-four hours of lying in a hospital bed was proving to be his limit. Thank God Steffi had been able to come to the city. Her visits were proving to be the highlight of his day.

  “I’ve brought you some books. It seems to me like the perfect time to catch up on some reading. You’ve got a choice between two of the latest crime novels—one’s a forensic crime book—and a couple of autobiographies. I noticed some similar ones on your bookshelves at home.”

  “Thanks. The magazines I’ve got aren’t holding my attention. Maybe I’ll be able to lose myself in a good book.”

  “What’s been happening here? Anything interesting?”

  “I’ve had physio, and a nap, and the nurses have promised me a sponge bath tomorrow. I’m not sure if I’m looking forward to that or not.”

  “You’ll feel a hundred times better after that, I promise you. Why are you apprehensive?”

  “I haven’t had anyone wash me since I was four, when Mum used to bath Anna and me.”

  “You’re not scared, are you? The nurses have seen it all before.” He saw Steffi trying not to laugh. “Would you like me to do it instead?”

  His complaints stopped. “Maybe when I’m home again and we can share a shower. Then I’ll take you up on your offer.”

  A faint run of colour swept across her cheeks but she didn’t miss a beat. “It’s a deal. Have you had any other visitors?”

  “Mum and Dad have been back in. I know this will sound ungrateful, but their visits are exhausting. Mum fusses around like a mother hen, chattering away nineteen to the dozen, and Dad sits in that chair over there and says nothing. I know Dad’s feeling guilty over the turn of events and I’m sure that’s the only reason he’s making himself stay in town. He hates the city and doesn’t like hospitals, too much evidence of weakness. He’d much prefer to be back in the country.”

  Matt made a mental note to give his dad permission to return home, in a subtle way. Over Steffi’s shoulder he could see the door opening and his parents appear. He realised with a feeling approaching dread that he hadn’t thought about Steffi meeting his parents in this situation. It wasn’t how he’d imagined it at all, but he’d have to make the best of things now.

  Five minutes later he could feel the beginnings of a headache. He knew it was still the after-effects of the bump on his head but his mother’s non-stop talking, her accent becoming thicker in her haste to ensure there were no awkward silences, wasn’t helping. He’d never introduced them to a woman in his life before—that hadn’t been his intention at this moment either—and it looked like his mother was intent on making sure this one couldn’t get away. Even Steffi couldn’t get a word in, but she didn’t look too horrified. Still, he needed to stop his mother before she said something they’d all regret.

  “Mum, do you think you could refill my iced water? There should be a machine in the tearoom for the patients” families. The nurses will show you.”

  Steffi jumped in. “I’ll show you if you like, Mrs Zeller. Then you’ll know where it is next time. I’d better get going anyway. I think there’s still a limit on the number of visitors you can have at a time.”

  Damn. While he’d got peace and quiet again the goal had really been to separate his mum and Steffi. Now, not only were they still together but he couldn’t hear what they were talking about.

  Steffi walked beside Mrs Zeller towards the tearoom. “You have a daughter? Jess?”

  “That’s right. I can’t believe you know that.”

  “I’ve heard a lot about you both.”

  Steffi hid her surprise as she turned to put the jug under the ice machine. She’d heard almost nothing about Matt’s parents and couldn’t imagine Matt saying much about her. She was right.

  “Susie has told me a lot about her new friend. Anna, too. You’re a nurse, yes?”

  Steffi straightened up, holding the jug of iced water in one hand, and nodded, looking at Matt’s mum, searching for similarities between her and her son. They had the same facial bone structure with those amazing cheekbones and symmetrical features, but Matt obviously got his height from his father. She’d already known from the photo in his kitchen that Matt had inherited his father’s incredible eyes. She’d given a silent “thank you” to his dad at the time.

  Matt’s mother continued. “I was a nurse, too. In Poland. But I couldn’t work once we moved here.”

  “Weren’t your qualifications recognised?” She racked her brain, trying to recall what little she knew. They lived in Coober Pedy and his dad was a miner, but she’d only learned that from Connor after the accident. Talk about a closed book. The only piece of information he’d really shared had been that Matt and Anna had learned to cook from their mother. And they lived “up north”.

  Mrs Zeller nodded. “That happened a lot. That was one of the hardest things about moving to Australia. I loved nursing. But I’m glad for the children’s sake that we are here.”

  “What did you do instead?”

  “I took a job in the hospital kitchen as a cook. Apart from looking after my family, cooking is the other thing I love to do so I was lucky to be able to do that. Mattias and Anna used to come there after school while I did the dinners. They’d do their homework and talk to me. It was a good time.”

  “You sound like you miss those days.”

  “I miss having my children close by. I still know what’s happening in Anna’s life, she will pick up the phone, but Mattias …” She sighed. “He keeps things close to his chest, just like his father. Since he went to boarding school all those years ago, I’ve never really known what he thinks. It’s lucky he and Anna are close so I hear some things.” She paused. “It seems he’s quite fond of you.”

  Steffi recognised the signs of a mother fishing for information. “I’m very fond of him, too, but we haven’t known each other long.”

  “Sometimes it doesn’t take long. Nic and I only knew each other three months before we were married. We’ve been married nearly forty years now.”

  “I’m not sure that we’re headed that way Mrs Zeller.” Oh, heavens, they had so many other things to sort out. What if she said something to Matt? What if he thought it was all coming from her, Steffi?

  Mrs Zeller was still talking. “Don’t worry, dear, I’m not planning your wedding. But for Anna to have heard about you from Mattias, and met you, is quite unusual. You are obviously important to him.”

  “It’s very kind of you to say so.” Steffi’s head was clear again, she could carry on a normal conversation. “Matt’s become a good friend to me. I
’d better let you take his water back, I’ve got to get home.”

  “Of course. I hope we see you again soon, Stephanie. I’m sure we will.”

  Matt lay on his bed, watching impassively, as the physiotherapist put his lower limbs through their paces. He knew it was important to keep his joints and muscles mobile and, while he was unable to perform the exercises alone, physiotherapy was vital. But it didn’t require his concentration, and his mind wandered to more pleasant topics.

  What time would Steffi arrive this morning?

  Would her hair be up so he could kiss her neck, or down so he could feel it swing against his face when she bent to kiss him?

  Would she remember to bring some sultana grapes, as she’d promised?

  “I know you doctors have a reputation for being awful patients, but do you think I could have a little bit of co-operation?” The physiotherapist’s voice interrupted his thoughts, and by her tone Matt guessed that she’d been waiting for his attention for some time.

  “I was miles away.” He grinned apologetically.

  “Can’t say I blame you. I want to turn you onto your tummy,” she said, as she put the bed rail up on one side. “Can you use the rail to help me roll you over? You need to exercise the muscles that are still working.”

  Matt grasped the railing with one hand and pulled himself over onto his left side, pushing onto his left elbow at the same time. He could feel one of Carla’s hands on his hip and guessed her other hand would be under his knees. With her support and leverage, he managed to flip himself onto his stomach as Carla rearranged his legs.

  “I’m just going to give your hamstrings a light massage, stop them from tightening up too much.”

  “Sounds fantastic. Pity I won’t feel it.” Matt rested his face in his hands and concentrated on his breathing.