Because It's Not Love

by Kitty Parker

  I groaned slightly. "Can this wait until...like, never?"

  "You promised!" She folded her arms and waited for me to explain.

  "Okay, fine." I turned towards the guys who was, surprisingly, still standing beside me. I eyed them. "Don't you both have anything to do?"

  Understanding the unspoken gesture, Nick just shrugged and began to walk away as Dean followed him, throwing a sheepish smile over his shoulder.

  "What was that all about?" Lisa asked as she walked closer to me.

  "Nothing."

  Lisa shrugged it off and held my shoulders at arms length while she stared at me in the eye. "Maggie, what the hell happened at the party? And don't lie."

  "This may be a long story so let's wait until lunch time—"

  "Maggie!"

  "—and it's not that big deal anyway—"

  "Margaret, tell me now!"

  "Okay, okay. Sheesh." I pulled away from Lisa's hands on my shoulder and leaned on my locker, watching people pass by the hallway.

  How was I supposed to say this? 'Well Lisa, I actually lost my virginity the other night. You know who took it? Who? Yes, that guy. That arrogant jackass with a big head and no, I am not talking about his big you-know-what. And yeah, I was pretty drunk that night so he probably he took advantage of my body. The worst part of it is that he's my brother's best friend. No wait, the worst part of it is that I want to have sex with him again so badly that I think I could practically do it right here in the hallway.'

  Imagine what the world would say if I actually said that?

  Seeing as I was silence, Lisa pinched my arm. "Are you going to tell me or not?"

  I shot her an annoyed look. "I will, I just don't know how to start."

  "How about after you were gone by my side at the party?"

  I sighed. "Fine." I finally faced her. "Remember you were flirting with Cole Adams and you were practically ignoring me?"

  I saw her smile at thin air. "Uh-huh."

  "Well, I went to the kitchen and this guy came up to me." I slightly remembered Carson walking up to me before he talked about how lame the party was, even though it was his own party. Yeah, I never understood why he would have a party when he didn't even enjoy it himself. Probably an easy way to throw away money. Ugh, rich people. "Before I knew it, I was drinking too much. And…."

  "And…?" I could see that Lisa was curious.

  "And…" I closed my eyes. "Wehadsex." I blurted out as fast as possible. I swear my cheeks were burning.

  "I'm sorry, what?"

  I opened my eyes and looked at Lisa. I glanced around the hallway and stepped closer, in case somebody heard us. I leaned closer to her ears and whispered the words I thought I would never ever have to say. "We had...s-sex."

  I wish I had a camera with me! The look on her face was priceless. With the way she was gawking at me, I was sure I could fit in my fist in her mouth. "Oh my god...how the hell did it happen—"

  "Well you see, if two people happens to have sexual desires—"

  "Maggie, you know what I mean!"

  I broke her surprised gaze and looked away. "Unfortunately, yeah."

  "Oh god I'm so happy for you!" She hugged me tightly that I almost forgot how to breathe. I pushed her away and gave her my best 'what-the-hell-look'. Was she high?

  "What?" I screeched. Yes, screeched. I couldn't even believe it myself.

  "I'm glad that I dragged you to the party." She beamed at me and clapped her hands shamelessly. "Finally, my seventeen-year-old best friend lost her virginity!"

  "Lisa! Shh!" I looked around anxiously. "Didn't you just hear me? This guy practically shoved me alcohol so he could sleep with me! He might have even given me drugs! He maybe even raped me!"

  I saw her rolling her eyes and clicked her tongue. "You really think someone would do that?"

  "Yes!"

  She gave me a look and ignored me. "Whatever. Now, now, tell me everything! Did you like it?" She wiggled her eyebrows. Lisa was this bubbly girl at our school, the enthusiastic person with golden hair and hazel eyes. She was accepted in any cliques at school but she didn't belong to any one of them. But you know, as a great friend of hers sometimes I wish she could stop with the enthusiastic self and listen to me for just once.

  "It was...okay?" I, of course, lied. I enjoyed it very much that I was even surprised myself.

  She grinned at me and gave me funny look. "So okay, if you think you were 'drugged' then are you saying that you actually enjoyed being raped? Oh my god, don't tell me you did some bondage things too! I didn't know you had that in you."

  "What? No!" I blushed again.

  I knew Carson didn't put drugs because...well, I would've said he was a nice person but I knew I'd be lying. Carson could make any girl want him badly enough by just his deep gaze; I was pretty sure that he would never need any type of drugs. And to be honest...as drunk as I was that night I was pretty sure I felt a little sober by the mutual feeling of having sex for the first time. I know I was very sober when I had sex with him the next day.

  So yeah, no drugs, just a very big amount of alcohol for my liking.

  "So you weren't drunk that night?"

  I sighed again for the umpteenth time. She wasn't going to stop, was she? "I was pretty drunk, yeah. But then the next morning I was pretty sober that we did it again, and again. And..." I saw her jaw drop again. "...again."

  "Whoa..." She nodded her head at the thought of my mystery man before looking back up to me. "Wait, who is he? It's a he right?"

  I rolled my eyes. Then again…I was dreading that question. I looked anywhere but her suspicious eyes. "Oh it's nobody."

  She eyed me. "It's somebody I know, isn't it? He goes to our school, doesn't he?"

  "Nope." I glanced at my shoes.

  "Oh come on, Maggie. You're such a bad liar."

  "Lisa, he's no—"

  "Oh my god, Carson's coming this way!" I heard Lisa whisper slash screamed and I saw her fixing her short blonde hair. I froze. What. the. Hell? What was I supposed to do now? I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths before I opened them and bravely turned around.

  Relax, he's just going to pass by and forget that you exist. Calm down, Maggie, just glare at him. Yeah, like that. Forget that he's a gorgeous piece of ass. No! Don't picture his nice naked ass. Maggie, stop it—

  "Maggie."

  I looked up at him and felt my heart break into tiny little pieces. He looked as hot as ever. I couldn't believe I slept with him for four times in two days. He looked meaningfully at me and ignored that everybody else were staring at us. Me? Well I was glaring at him for no reason and felt uneasy as girls (Much a lot, seniors) were giving me death looks. I gulped. We were still having the staring competition, me with a glare and him with a stupid smirk...or should I say sexy smirk?

  Get a grip, Maggie!

  I heard Lisa clear her throat and finally, but oh so slowly, Carson dragged his deep blue eyes away from me and glanced behind me. He nodded his head in a greeting. "Cooper."

  "Hey Carson!"

  Carson looked back at me and flashed me a smile before leaving me in confusion. The crowd followed him and everyone else in the hallway looked at me with curiosity. I felt my cheeks burn for no reason and I left Lisa to walk to my classroom. She called me but I ignored her completely, though it was no use since she had the same first period as mine. The bell was about to ring in five but I didn't mind to be early in class. Just a few more steps I would arrive at the door of the classroom, but somebody grabbed my arm and dragged me to the nearest girls' bathroom.

  "Lisa!" I whined as she let go of me once in the bathroom. I walked pass her but she pulled me again.

  "Oh no you don't!" She shoved the door shut and leaned on it, crossing her arms.

  "What do you want?"

  She seemed even more confused. "You…Carson…he…you guys…was he…him?"

  Yeah, if I was her, I would be speechless too.

  I sighed and closed my eyes for the many times. W
as it that big of deal that I slept with the most popular guy at school? That Lisa being a totally great friend found it crazy and shocking that I slept with the guy? That she never thought the time would come where I would lose my virginity so fast? To a guy who was a slut?

  Actually, yes.

  But Lisa would found out eventually, especially when she was so into gossips. It would be better if she knew this from me.

  "I….yeah." I admitted finally.

  I heard her gasp for a second, but heard her voice became a pitch higher than earlier.

  "Margaret Andrea Wilson, tell me details! Now!" She commanded.

  Friends with Benefits

  Lunch was another thing.

  I stepped inside the cafeteria and the first thing I caught was a pair of deep blue eyes. Actually, I wasn't looking around because I was mumbling how life was so unfair when I crashed into a pair of arms. I know, people crash on a wall, and even if people crash on another person it would probably be their back. But no, Carson knew I was coming and just had to spread his arms out widely.

  Damn it for having the same lunch period as him. It was fine with me before but after what happened yesterday I felt plainly like a slut around him...plus I didn't like all the attention people were giving me. Being a sister of a popular guy, they still ignored me. Being in the arms of the most popular guy, they whipped their head to see me. I just don't get how they think. of course, if they were even capable of it.

  "What the hell are you doing?" I hissed at him and looked around.

  He merely grinned and I gave him an annoyed look. I thought the sex thing was just a fling, because that was Carson; everything was just a fling to him. So why was he even bothering to take notice of me, especially in the middle of the cafeteria? At least my brother wasn't looking this easy, thank god.

  I pushed him away, which he probably wasn't ready for as his arms were easily off of my body. I gave him a disgusted look which I got a smirk in return. Ugh, what was it with adorable gorgeous guy and arrogant smirks?

  I walked away hurriedly and quickly stormed to my table at the corner where Lisa was looking at me with amusement. I plopped myself on the chair in front of her and closed my eyes, feeling the hateful aura around me. I didn't even know why I was such in a bad mood now. I was fine this morning, except that I had to tell everything what happened between me and Carson to Lisa. I mean, everything. I don't know, I guess the more I say what I really thought about him out loud made me think a lot of things.

  First, the more I listen to myself repeating yesterday's event the more I think how weird it sounded. It seemed like…too good to be true. Yeah, I know it did actually happen but I still felt as if everything was just a dream. I mean come on, who else would get a chance to sleep with him? Most guys would sleep with any girl, but from what I've heard, Carson was actually a very picky guy. And his type was those gorgeous type; skinny and flawless like any model would be.

  And then there was me. Just…look at me.

  I rested my head on my chin and sighed. "I wish I wasn't drunk."

  "At least you lost your virginity to the most popular guy at school, I lost mine—"

  "—to a paper boy. Yeah, I know." I finished her and ate a few of her French fries. Damn it! Because of him I even forgot to get into line and buy lunch.

  Lisa leaned over the table and looked at me in the eyes, something she usually would do if she was going to say something important of her mind. "Hey, do you know what I think?"

  "I'm guessing I won't like this." I stole her Pepsi and took a sip.

  "You should sleep with him again," she stated with a grin as if it was a normal thing to say.

  I kind of choked on the Pepsi. What the hell was she thinking? I patted my chest helplessly and looked around us hoping nobody heard her. “Are you kidding me?"

  She rolled her eyes as she shook her head. "Nope, think about it. You're new about the sex thing right?"

  I didn't answer her and merely raised my eye brows.

  "Well it would be great then! You could learn all the stuff from him and he could toy with you and you guys could live happily ever after."

  I gaped at her. "That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard."

  "Hey I was only saying what I was thinking!" She grinned at me.

  "Then don't."

  I saw her push her food aside and cleared her throat before gave me a know-it-all look. "Oh come on, don't you ever think what it would feel like to have sex with him again? What it would really feel like to feel him inside you—"

  I gasped as my cheeks turned into various kinds of red. "Lisa!"

  "You know you can't lie when it comes to this."

  I groaned loudly. "You're not going stop, are you?"

  "Nope," she chirped with a devilish grin on her face. Ugh, what the hell did I get myself into? I shook my head at her attitude before standing up, making my way to buy some lunch.

  * * *

  Carson watched as Maggie walked into the line with her hips swaying around. He smiled at himself and couldn't help but to imagine her smooth ass on his bed.

  He could still remember the day perfectly. The day where he was already awake when Maggie fell of from his bed. Hell, he could even remember the night when he was getting a drink and saw Maggie in a short denim skirt and a blue tank top and how her long hair danced around her back. He remembered how the looks on guys were as they stared in affection seeing the Margaret Wilson in such clothes.

  Carson could see the uncomfortable expression on her face that told him she wasn't used to wearing such clothes like that. But it revealed so much skin that Carson wanted to taste and touch, to explore every inch of her curves. When he made his drunken mind through the crowds and put the charms on her, she was off her feet and on his bed quickly. If she wasn't so drunk, Carson knew she wouldn't want to sleep with him. but drunk or not, he still wanted her.

  Never had he thought that his best friend's younger sister would look amazingly naked in his arms. Maggie was the type of girl who had a beautiful face and a great body but chose to hide it behind those thick books; even Carson knew that she would look hot. If she was just confident enough she might be aware that her unique looks could kill a guy's heart.

  He always had his eyes on her, but he would only shrug it away. He never thought of having any sexual intercourse with her every time they crossed paths. But when he thrust inside her and heard her groan as pain revealed on her face, his heart ached at the thought of hurting her. It wasn't a surprise that she was a virgin, because he kind of expected that. When he finally felt her calming down, he moved into a slower pace as he watched her face of pain turn into a mix of excitement and pleasure. This made him go wild as he thrust into her deeper and faster, liking every sound that came out of her mouth.

  Especially when her mouth did a job that still amazed him completely.

  Never had he expected that a virgin like her could do the most exotic thing. Maybe she was that drunk, but the next morning when they had sex over and over again, she did the exact thing and she was actually sober. It even surprised him that she actually didn't know what she was doing…that she was just following her instinct. And deep down, he knew that he wanted to do it again. He was craving for her every second and nobody knew what he was feeling every time somebody called up her name in a conversation. But this was just great animal sex that he and Maggie enjoyed. It was just a guilty pleasure, nothing more.

  "Carson, no." Nick warned as he leaned on his chair.

  Carson knew Nick was a good brother to Maggie, he once accompanied Nick when he had trouble finding a birthday gift for Maggie. The silver necklace with the alphabet M he chose for her three years ago was still wrapped around her long neck and Carson was even surprised she still wore it.

  Carson gave him a look. "What are you talking about?"

  "You're looking at my sister in an inappropriate way." He blurted out with narrowed eyes.

  Carson was shock. Really? Was he too obvious? Well Nick knew hi
m well enough, he even knew what type of girls he liked. Of course Nick would know if Carson had interest in a girl, especially for his sister. Carson decided to keep it cool and asked nonchalantly, "I thought you don't care who she dates with?"

  Nick eyed him. "I don't, but if it has anything to do with you, then I do."

  "What about me?" Carson grinned. He found it amusing that people gave him a bad reputation when it came to girls. Like he gave a damn.

  "You're a good friend, man, honestly. But you treat women like...with no respect."

  "More like trash." Dean snickered as he sat across Carson.

  Carson scoffed and ate his lunch. "Like you guys treat them with respect."

  "Hey, we treat women with great respect. We don't have sex with four different girls in one day on different times." Dean said and got a laugh from Nick.

  Carson shrugged his shoulder and leaned on his chair. "Heh, can't blame a guy with hormones."

  "You're like a slut, but a guy version." John, their other best friend, joined them into the conversation as he nodded in agreement on what Nick and Dean was talking about.

  Carson grinned. "Am I supposed to be honored?"

  "You see? This is what I'm talking about. We..." Nick pointed to himself, John and then towards Dean. "…would like a relationship someday. Hell, when was the last time you had a serious relationship?"

  "Did he even have a girlfriend?" Dean asked with a cheeky smile. The boys laughed at their friend that had a reputation of never keeping his dick in his pants when it comes to girls.

  "What is wrong with me not wanting a girlfriend? I like sex, just not relationships," Carson pointed out.

  "And that is why I don't trust you if you ever have any interest on my little sister," Nick said while pointing his finger at Carson.

  Was he that bad? Did all people look at him like a hot piece of shit who threw women like trash? He didn't even realize people were watching him when he was with girls; well that was what you get when you were popular. He rolled his eyes and straightened himself. Even if people thought of him of a bad guy, it still didn't stop all the girls to swoon in his arms now did it?