Because It's Not Love

by Kitty Parker

  Somehow as he glanced around the cafeteria, his eyes spotted Maggie who was talking to a guy. He looked closer and realized that she was actually talking to…Kyle?

  Huh.

  Well, Kyle was in the same varsity football team as him, and Carson knew that he had dated Maggie a while ago. If Carson could remember, Kyle was an asshole as bad as him but he didn't know why Nick didn't play as the protective big brother when Kyle and Maggie stopped dating. At that time, Carson didn't even care at all, but now as he watched the two exchanging smile, he felt himself frown.

  Without realizing a pang of jealousy inside, he changed the frown into a mad scowl. "I don't have any interest in your sister."

  Nick smirked at his best friend. "Yeah?"

  "Yes, do you want me to prove it?" Carson challenged without thinking, still keeping his eyes on the two people across the room.

  Nick chuckled. "You can prove it? How?"

  Carson glared at the couple across the room once again before he spotted a brunette girl who was smiling at him. He checked her out and noticed her long legs, her nice dark eyes and one hell of a great body…hmm, that would do. He frowned again as he tried to remember her name. Ashley? No wait, Amber? Amy? He just called any name he thought. "Hey, uh…Amanda?"

  She walked over to him with a sexy smile nonetheless. "It's Annabelle."

  "What a beautiful name." Carson put on his charms as he gave her a dazzling smile. He gestured for Annabelle to sit on his lap which she did with no hesitation. Carson smiled to his three friends who watched him in amusement. He just smiled at them.

  Before he was going to do what he intended to do, he glanced at Maggie who was still with Kyle. Ugh, that bastard was still talking to her. He waited for a moment and was satisfied when Maggie's blue orbs were locked with his darker shade, while the bastard she was talking to with kept on laughing about a story he was telling. Who the hell laughs at his own jokes?

  He shook his head slightly before he smiled at her while she looked at him with a frown…and was that a jealous glare right there? He knew he was such an ass, but something inside him told him that he wanted to make her jealous, that he wanted to be sure he wasn't the only one who was aware of the attraction between them.

  Without thinking again, he kissed the girl on his lap sensibly which made her whimper and kissed him back. He could hear his friends laugh with disbelieve but from the corner of his eyes, he saw Maggie walking out the cafeteria alone. He cursed to himself silently and fought the urge to not run and tell her that he was sorry.

  He almost slapped himself; he never wanted to chase a girl before in his life, not even the girls he had slept with. What the hell did this mean?

  "Carson? Why aren't you kissing me again, sweetheart?" Annabelle cupped his cheeks and kissed his jaw line.

  "Get out of my face, Amanda." He barked out. He didn't know why he was getting angry now. The thought of having any feelings at all towards Maggie made him…jumpy all of a sudden.

  "It's Annabelle."

  "Do I look like I care?" Carson asked as he removed her hand from his face.

  The brunette looked at him in shock. She silently stood up and turned her heels, following what Maggie did when she walked out of the cafeteria.

  "Dude, you're such an ass."

  "That was so cool!"

  "Point taken, you don't like my sister."

  He heard his friends talking at the same time but he couldn't concentrate. What was wrong with him? He wanted to get up and find Maggie and wrap his hands around her perfect body. He missed her scent. He then groaned, missed? He never missed a woman before, without counting her mother, but that was totally a different situation. He didn't just say he missed Maggie, did he?

  No, he didn't.

  Yes, he did.

  No.

  Yes.

  Crap.

  He shook his head...No wait, of course he missed her. He missed the sex. Yes, that was it. Just the sex. Only the sex, nothing more, he assured. He sighed and began to eat his lunch and laughed if any of his friends made funny jokes.

  The rest day of school, Carson tried to find where Maggie was. He had no luck and even Lisa didn't know where she was. Or maybe she was just covering her best friend, he wasn't sure. It wasn't until after school that Carson spotted her wavy copper hair. He was doing warm ups for football practice when Maggie walked to the tennis court. He noticed that the tennis outfit she was wearing was different from last week. It was shorter in a pretty white color, and it fitted her curvy body perfectly while her hair bounced around her back and shoulders. He was aware how people was now staring at her. That outfit showed too much skin.

  The only thing that was strange about her was the scowl on her face. It wasn't like Maggie to be angry; she would always have a smile on her face anytime anywhere. He felt as if it was kind of his fault, but quickly shrugged it away. Carson never cared a girl this much and it scared the shit out off him.

  It was just sexual attraction; he reminded himself again and started to throw a ball at Kyle for no reason.

  He was walking out from the locker room after practice when he saw Maggie at her locker. It was his only chance. He dragged her into an empty classroom, even though she was struggling in his grip. "Carson!"

  He ignored her and closed the door behind and pressed his body to hers on the now closed door. He started to nibble her neck, giving her light kisses as he felt her arching her back towards his touch. Oh god, she was so sexy. He missed the smell of her and how the way she moaned every time he tasted her skin.

  "Stop it!" Maggie tried to push him away, but he was of course much stronger. He could feel her tensing in his arms. Carson kept on giving light kisses on the sensitive spot on her neck just below her ear.

  "Please Carson, stop." She was begging helplessly but Carson wanted to feel her, afraid that the desire for her was too big for his own good. With a final hard push, Carson finally stopped and looked into her piercing eyes. He could read her confusion, furious and desire expression in her eyes.

  "I've missed you," He announced. Yes, only missed the sex. Just the sex. Nothing more.

  "Well I don't, so move." It wounded him a little bit but he still kept her where she was. "What do you want Carson?"

  "You."

  Maggie sneered at him as the memories in the cafeteria haunted her again. "Oh stop it. It seemed that you didn't want me at lunch."

  "Were you jealous?" She went silent for a while before answering a heavy no. He smiled and pressed his hips on hers roughly, she could feel herself going weak. "Well you were talking to Kyle."

  "Is that why you kissed her?" She asked, not believing him. Why would he be jealous of her?

  Carson wanted to say that he was just proving her brother that he didn't have any interest on his sister. Maggie would ask why the hell he did that and that would mean he would have to explain that Nick didn't trust him with Maggie. Maggie would probably agree and walk out on him like that, but there was something about her that he didn't want to let go yet.

  Maybe sexual attraction, he thought to himself.

  So he decided to stay in the safety zone. "Yes."

  She eyed him warily. "You're lying."

  "No, I'm not." He gave her a crooked grin.

  Maggie groaned in frustration. "Well I wasn't the one who shoved my tongue down Kyle's throat!"

  "I got carried away." He shrugged and kissed her lightly on her lips. She pulled away quickly and rested her hands on his chest. She slowly looked up to meet his eyes and sighed heavily.

  "See? You and I will never work. It was just a fling and we have to stop this."

  Carson pressed his body closer to hers again, very aware of the heat that was growing between their body. "Why do we have to stop this?"

  "Just…cause." She stated and tried to push him again harder. Of course, she tried.

  "What? Tell me." He demanded softly.

  She stared into his eye for a while, trying to figure out the boy in front of her. She sighe
d a moment later.

  "I…well…you see, I don't want to go any further than this." She bit her lip slightly. "And even though Nick's not really overprotective, I don't want to ruin your friendship with him."

  "Well it's not that you love me right?"

  Her frown deepened. "God, no."

  "But you enjoy the sex?"

  It was a trick question, and if it wasn't for how serious Carson looked, she might have thought he was joking. She hesitated for a while before answering with a blush spread across her cheeks. "Uh…yes?"

  He lifted her chin and stared in those beautiful blue eyes. "So let me get this straight, you don't want anything serious but you still enjoy the sex?"

  She was getting annoyed by every second that passed by. "Do I really have to explain this again?"

  He smiled his gorgeous smile and whispered in her ears. He thought the very same thing and didn't want to let go of what they had, even though it was just sex.

  "Ever heard of Friends with benefits before?"

  She gasped.

  Sensuality

  You have no idea how crazy little things popped in my head right now.

  You guys are probably thinking 'Answer the question! Say Yes!'. Well, let me tell you something; Lisa would probably yell that at me right now if she were here. But for me, this was absurd. Like, beyond ridiculous. And to be honest, this was the only time I had trouble answering a question. Exams I could handle, but this? To even think about it was beyond wrong. It just didn't make sense. The sex was fine for me, I was about to forget the whole thing anyway. But why was he hugging me tighter now that I almost couldn't breathe? In fact, all I could smell was his cologne and his husky scent.

  Which, you could tell, wasn't such a good thing.

  Why couldn't he just leave me in peace? Just the sound of it was crazy. Oh come on, having sex with somebody without involving any emotional feelings? We're not even friends!

  "Why are you doing this to me?" I whispered quietly. I looked up and felt his breath on my cheek. His face was so near that I had the urge to kiss the tip of his nose. Of course I didn't, that would be a stupid thing to do right now.

  "What am I doing to you?" He smiled teasingly and slowly planted a kiss on the corner of my lips, lingering a hot feeling towards my body. I gasped at the contact of his hips thrusting softly on me. He looked at me in the eyes with a naughty smile of his and whispered to my ear, "So what do you say?"

  I sighed and closed my eyes. "I don't get it."

  "Don't get what?" He asked as he lazily laid his eyes on my lips.

  "Why…me? I mean, there are plenty of girls here who would be willingly to have sex with you in no hesitation. They're probably more in…uh how do I say this? More…experience perhaps, on the…uh, sex?"

  He didn't answer for a while, just lazily stepped away from me and sat on a table with a straight face. I could've made a run and stormed out of the classroom, but I thought better and stayed where I was.

  "And your point is?" He asked after a moment of silence.

  I took a very deep breath before I braved myself to look into his eyes. "Well, to be honest…I thought that…whatever happened between us yesterday, well, just stayed yesterday. It's like…what happened in Vegas stays in Vegas, you know what I mean?"

  He raised his eye brows at me. "Honestly? No."

  I sighed in defeat and decided to walk over to him. "As far as I'm concerned, I thought that what happened between us was over. Wait, what am I saying? Carson, nothing even started between us."

  "So you're saying that the day we spent together was…well, did not satisfy you?" He gave me a lazy smile. "You're kind of hurting my pride here, Maggie."

  "Carson, I just said that I enjoyed the sex between us a while ago!" My cheeks felt warmer as I registered what I just said. I can't believe I said that! I shook my head quickly. "My point is; you have to leave me alone. I realize that you can easily forget me…especially when you have a brunette already on your tow."

  He rolled his eyes at me. "I actually kissed her at lunch to prove a point to my friends, it meant nothing to me. She's not even a good kisser." He made a face—which I'd probably laugh about now if I wasn't so confused.

  "I don't care, Carson. If she meant nothing to you, then I possibly mean nothing to you as well. Just stop acting like this and leave me alone, okay?"

  He didn't answer me and just merely watched me as I glared at him. I wanted to strangle him. I didn't know why I was feeling so angry at him right now, I just…did. I crossed my arms underneath my breast. "Are we done? Can I go home now?"

  His face never looked so serious. "All I'm asking is that do you really want us to be done? Because I sure hell know that I don't."

  "What is us? Is there even anything between us?" I asked after the words he said to me sunk in my head. He wanted…something to be going on between us? Now I felt nervous.

  He ran his hand through his tousled hair and looked away. "Look, I don't know Maggie. I just…I don't know. I think…" He sighed. "I surely don't know."

  I held his gaze. "Then what is it that you know?"

  He looked at me softly, an expression that I didn't know he was capable of making. I stayed quiet as I looked into those beautiful blue irises of his that always seemed to hypnotize me. His lips twitched into a sad smile as he straightened himself and continued, deciding to ignore my question and ask one of his own. "What's so wrong about it?"

  "Everything is wrong about it. What would people say about this?" I snapped at him in a voice that seemed harsher than I intended it to be.

  He motioned his shoulders into a small shrug. "Then nobody has to know."

  I raised my eye brows at him. "You're kidding me, right?"

  "Why would I be joking around? I don't joke around when it comes to sex."

  Sex. This was what he wanted all along. He was just a typical teenage guy that wanted me to be his sex toy so he could fulfill his needs. I don't know if I should feel flattered or disgusted. He reached my hand and grabbed it, pulling myself on to his manly chest as his arms captured my waist.

  All of a sudden I found myself standing in between his strong legs with his arms around me. He captured my lips with his and whispered to me quietly, "Come on, Maggie. What could go wrong?"

  What could go wrong? What could go wrong? What could go wrong? What could go wrong? What could go wrong? What could go wrong? What could go wrong? What could go wrong? What could go wrong? What could go wrong? What could go wrong? What could go wrong?

  Well, everything.

  What if somebody finds out about this? What if Nick finds out about this? What would he say? Well for one thing, I know Lisa would be thrilled to hear this. Even worse, what if it gets serious? What if…I fall for him? Like…in love?

  Whoa, love? What was I thinking?

  Carson did the thing I wanted to do to him earlier when he moved forward and kissed the tip of my nose. He held me closer and for some odd reason I could feel his heart beat going faster. He hugged me tightly as I placed my hands on top of his chest, liking the rhythm of his heartbeat on my palms.

  I looked up into his eyes and him looking at me intensely. The lust that clouded in his eyes somehow made me want him more. Ugh, whatever my brain wanted me to do, my body always relied towards his touch. In some way…I have a feeling that sooner or later, whatever was bound to happen between us, if I ran away from him to try to avoid him after this, I have a strong feeling that sex would always come between us. I just…have the feeling.

  Even the sexual tension between us felt even strong now. He dipped his head closer and kissed me much slower than he had ever done before. I felt my toes curling at the sensational feeling he was giving me. The moment I felt his tongue on the bottom of my lips, I opened my mouth for him and moaned at the feel of our tongues colliding together. His hands were now exploring my body, roaming up and down my back. I moaned louder as he squeezed me and pulled my hips closer to him. I felt his arousal getting harder and I couldn't help but
to think how my body fit into his perfectly.

  He pulled away and leaned his forehead onto mine. I looked anywhere but his eyes and decided to stare at my shoes, even though I could feel his eyes on me. He dipped his head and trailed small kisses on my jaw line.

  "Did you know that sex is a healthy exercise? It burns more calories than any other sports," he whispered as he sucked on a sensitive spot on my neck.

  Well I didn't know that.

  I bit my lip nervously.

  I, Margaret Andrea Wilson, was about to do something I never thought I'd be doing. I wanted him. I wanted him to touch me again. I knew my body was aching to feel his touch, his sweet savoring lips on every spot of my curves. To be honest, I couldn't picture myself having sex with any other guy. Maybe this was because Carson took my virginity, I don't know. All I know was that I wanted him inside me…again.

  Oh god.

  I didn't have to answer him because as soon as my eyes met his own one, he quickly pulled my hand and guided me towards the parking lot.

  I couldn't believe I agreed to this.

  * * *

  "So where have you been?"

  I turned around and stared at my mom who was slouching on the sofa with her laptop on her lap. Mom was at it again, writing those romance novels she loved to write. You'd never believe that a kindergarten teacher had a hobby to write sexual books. Don't get me wrong, I loved my mom. But she sure had a lot of imagination when it came to writing.

  One day I told her she was writing too many sexual scenes, of course being as a writer herself, the next book that came out was all about sex. Mom wasn't even ashamed or embarrassed as neighbors gave her negative looks. Of course she wasn't embarrassed, dad loved mom even more after that.

  Ah, marriage.

  "You know, school projects." I shrugged my shoulders.

  Mom put down her laptop and crossed her arms. "Projects, huh?"

  "Yep," I answered her shortly. I hated it when I had to lie to mom. Mom and I were always close. When Lisa wasn't there I would tell my mom everything that was going on. We were that close that people thought mom was my sister. She blushed all the time. Me? Well I ignored the fact that a stranger thought I was as old as my mom.