Innocence

by Kristin Mayer

  “I think so too. Make sure to wake me up when you get up. I want to spend as much time with you as possible.”

  He gave me a kiss on the forehead. “I will. Night, punkin’.”

  “Night, Dad.”

  I made my way to the master bedroom. The deep-purple, plum bed called my name. The two days of traveling caught up to me. Up against the right wall, four suitcases stood. I knew what was in three of them. What had Millie sent? Curiosity getting the best of me, I laid the red suitcase on the ground. Taking a deep breath, I unzipped it. Whew. It didn’t explode. Inside laid a note.

  I laughed. Dylan’s girl. Millie had been obsessed with Dylan from the moment we’d first seen a rerun. She claimed he was hers. Inside I kept a silent crush on him. As I looked through the bag, there were all sorts of folded clothes—jeans, shirts, swimsuits, pajamas, dresses. Inside I felt like a giddy schoolgirl.

  My best friend always knew how to cheer me up. New clothes. New beginning. People were going to get to see the real me and not the shadow cast on me for the last four years.

  Quickly I pulled out my phone.

  Me: THANK YOU! I love the clothes!

  Millie: You’re so welcome! Did you see the lingerie?

  My mouth dropped open as I dug deeper to see pieces of clothing which covered nothing. I blushed in the privacy of my room.

  Me: OMG! Millie, what in the world am I going to do with lingerie?

  Millie: You never know. I needed my bestie prepared for all circumstances.

  Me: Well, I doubt I will need it. But, thank you.

  Millie: I packed you a vibrator just in case Colorado doesn’t have any hot guys.

  I froze again as I saw a box. Quickly, I shoved the clothes on top of the box that read Thunder Down Under. She bought me a vibrator. Oh my gosh. My dad was in the next room and I had a vibrator. I jumped on the bed like the bag would explode. My phone vibrated again.

  Millie: You’ll thank me later. I’ve put in for some time off at work so you can hug me then for the awesome purchase. I’ll let you know when I get approved.

  Me: I can’t wait to see you. Have a house all to myself. You’ll love it.

  Millie: Yes! 90210 marathon, here we come! Got to go. Hot date with a cop.

  Me: Cop? What Cop?

  Millie: Doorbell is ringing! I’ll explain later!

  Me: Millie! You did that on purpose! Thank you so much for making my night. Have fun. Be safe.

  Millie: You’re welcome. How much trouble can I really get in? Love ya, girl.

  Me: Love you, too.

  After finding some of the short, silk pajama sets, I zipped the red suitcase back up. The bed was soft like a cloud. Sleep found me as soon as I closed my eyes. Dreams filled with laughter and love followed giving me hope for what was to come.

  “BYE, DAD. I’LL MISS YOU.” Tears choked my sentence. Now that the time was here, I wasn’t ready to let him go. Am I making a mistake? Would everything be okay if I stayed? Doubt filled me.

  Dad hugged me. “Don’t overthink this. We’ll talk each day and I’ll be back before you know it. I want you safe.”

  I wanted him safe. “I’ll be okay. I promise.”

  The tears stayed at bay and I focused on the pain of biting my lower lip. Giving me a kiss on the forehead, Dad whispered, “I love you, punkin’. I’m a phone call away.”

  “Love you, too.”

  With his coffee in hand, he turned toward his truck while waving bye to Pam and Levi. I glanced back. They watched me as Levi put his arm around Pam—a gesture Dad did to Mom all the time when I was younger.

  For a moment, I glanced up to gather my strength for the last wave. The morning sky cast hues of orange and red. As the truck cranked, I raised my hand. Dad’s arm came out of the window. I can do this. I can survive this. My heart ached more as the distance grew between the truck and the taillights disappeared.

  This was it.

  I was on my own.

  Again.

  Gathering my thoughts, I stood there for a few minutes, grateful for the reprieve the McCole’s gave me. An SUV pulled up with whom I assumed was their daughter, Sydney. A woman with strawberry-blonde hair, who resembled Levi, got out. She looked like I had guessed, mid to late thirties.

  “Hey Mom, Dad. We’re headed to the airport. Ty had breakfast already this morning.”

  Pam walked down the steps with Levi. The backseat burst open in a flurry of movement. Little limbs came flying out. “Grama and Grampa, Daddy’s coming in one more day! Grama, can you believe it? Aunt Sydney said he got me something special!”

  Love shone from Pam as she watched her energetic grandson bound to her. Just before he got to her, Sydney picked him up, showering him with kisses. “I’ll miss you, squirt. Love you.”

  He squealed and giggled. “I love you too, Aunt Sydney.”

  Barely able to hold onto Ty, Sydney let him down as he rushed to Pam who hugged him. All of the love warmed me. Pam gave Ty a hug, responding to his earlier comment. “I know your daddy is ready to see you. He misses you dearly.”

  A smile spread across his face. “He woke up Aunt Sydney this morning and told me so. Aunt Sydney says Dad sleeps less because he’s old.” Ty stopped abruptly and looked at me. “I’m Ty McCole. Who are you?”

  I crouched. “I’m London McNally. Your grama and grampa are letting me work on the farm. I was wondering if there was anyone big and brave who could show me around?”

  Ty’s little chest puffed up. “I can! I’m super brave. My dad says I’m getting so big he can barely lift me.” Leaning in closer, Ty whispered loudly. “You lose strength when you get old, but don’t tell him.”

  Leaning back, I crossed my heart. “Your secret is safe with me. I promise.”

  “Good. Want to be my friend?”

  I held out my hand for a high-five which he gave me. “I’d love that. I brought my horse with me. Do you want to help me feed her this morning? I need to make sure she’s doing okay in this new place.”

  “I don’t ride big horses.” His eyes were big as saucers. Almost scared, which surprised me considering he lived on a ranch.

  I gave him a wink. “I’m not riding her. I want to introduce her to you. She needs another friend.”

  “I can be her friend.”

  Standing, I noticed Sydney watching me with a sweet expression. “I’m Sydney. It’s nice to meet you, London. I appreciate you helping out my parents.”

  “Thanks. I’m excited to be here and have a new friend.” I ruffled the hair on Ty’s head which caused him to look up at me with a huge grin.

  Pam came up beside us. “Ty, why don’t you get your muck boots real quick so you can go with London and Grampa to the stable?”

  Like the wind, Ty took off racing and calling over his shoulder, “I’ll be right back, London. Don’t move.”

  Touching my shoulder, Pam brought my attention back to her. “Jaxson was thrown from a horse a couple of weeks ago. Ty saw it. He refuses to ride now.”

  That explained the fear in Ty’s eyes. “No problem. Was Jaxson hurt?”

  “Not really. A little banged up. It looked worse than it was, but scared the hell out of us.”

  The front door slammed open. “I’m back! Let’s go!”

  Ty pulled my arm; I lurched forward.

  Over my shoulder, I spoke loudly. “It was nice meeting you. Have a great trip, Sydney.”

  She waved and laughed. “We’ll catch up when I get back.”

  Levi chuckled. “Calm down, Ty. You’ll pull her arm out of the socket.”

  Ty looked back at me, eyeing my shoulder. “It’s still attached, Grampa. Don’t worry. We don’t need no first aid yet.”

  Yet. A small giggle escaped me. This boy would keep me busy and I loved it. The barn was about a five-minute walk from the house. I enjoyed the feel of the gravel crunching under my feet. It made me think of home and the walk to our barn. Ty babbled excitedly while I only got a few words in here and there. Levi didn’t have a chance to sa
y anything.

  As the barn came into view, Levi pointed to a larger building off in the distance. The rock cedar-theme from the homestead was replicated on this edifice also. Levi answered one of my internal questions about the large arena-type building behind the stables. “That is where we have events such as the McCole Classic. You saw the barn yesterday. Ty and I will show you the rehab center attached to the side of the stables, as well as the running arena.”

  “Perfect. Is there anything I need to do today?”

  Levi thought for a moment. “We’ll wait until Jaxson gets back tomorrow. He’s due in early afternoon. From there, we’ll figure things out. We have a general idea on the schedule, but need to fine tune it since you’re helping out with Ty.”

  Ty grabbed my hand. “That means we get to play all day since Grampa said no chores. Are you excited?”

  “No chores for London, but Ty, you still have yours.”

  His small shoulders slumped. “Oh, man.”

  I knelt down. “How about we do them together today? You help me take care of Sparkles and I’ll help you.”

  “Deal.”

  Shaking on it, we solidified the arrangement.

  We headed to the stalls where Sparkles stayed the night. Instantly she perked upon hearing our approach. “Hey, girl. I have a new friend for you to meet.”

  Shaking her head it came over the stall door. “Sparkles, this is Ty. Ty, this is Sparkles.”

  Hands grabbed the sides of my legs. “Why is her name Sparkles?”

  “Because, when I picked her up she was in a field that looked like it was sparkling as the sun hit the morning dew.”

  Ty looked at me as if I was crazy and then asked, “Does she buck?” There was trepidation in his voice.

  “No, she’s gentle. I’ll show you.” With a scoop of feed in my hands, I held it out for Sparkles to eat. Gently, she consumed the treat. “Good, girl. How are you liking your new home?”

  In response, she neighed. I winked at Ty. “I think she likes it.” I nuzzled the side of her face and felt Ty’s hands grip me tighter. If I remained calm and showed Ty how gentle Sparkles was, maybe he would trust her more. “I’ll let you rest one more day, girl. We’ll ride tomorrow. Show Ty a couple of your tricks if he wants.”

  “She can do tricks?”

  I knew that might get his interest. “A couple.”

  “What kind?”

  “You’ll have to wait and see.”

  Scrunching his eyebrows he watched me, then Sparkles. “Can I try feeding her?”

  “Sure. She’ll love it.”

  Giving Ty some feed, he held his hand out and giggled. “She’s nice like you said.” Obviously, Ty was used to horses as he stepped out from behind me to touch her muzzle. “You promise you’ll show me her tricks?”

  “Of course. We’ll come here after breakfast, if it’s okay with your grama and grampa.”

  A clanking sound brought our attention to down the way where helpers were feeding other horses. Ty took off to his grampa. Watching him was like seeing a ping pong ball in action. I loved it. At night, I would sleep well after watching Ty. Glancing over my shoulder, I was tickled as Ty energetically talked to Levi. I gave Sparkles a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be back, girl. We’ll ride tomorrow. They’ll turn you out to pasture in about an hour or so. Okay?”

  I got an answering nudge. A few workers entered from the opposite end with supplies for cleaning the stalls. Levi and Ty approached while Ty said, “Tell her, Grampa. Tell her.”

  “Ty told me about your plans tomorrow. He—”

  Too impatient, Ty interrupted. “He said I can come watch the tricks.”

  “Perfect. Why don’t we get your chores done? Then, we can have fun the rest of the day.”

  Taking my hand, Ty pulled me like before. Levi called after. “Be gentle, Ty.”

  “I promise, Grampa. We’ll feed the chickens. That’s it. Do you know how to feed chickens, London?”

  “It’s been a long time. Do you mind showing me?”

  “My dad says I’m the best chicken feeder. I’ll show you how.”

  Ty was in the main house finishing up his shower while I dressed in my pajamas. He wanted to stay with me in the guesthouse. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea this early on and I was sure Pam agreed. Babbling through an easy let down, Pam saved me when she suggested I could sleep in the main house. The little guy was too adorable to say no to. Apparently Pam had the same problem.

  I wasn’t sure where his mom was, but she didn’t seem to be in the picture at all. In essence, we were both without our moms. Kindred spirits so to say.

  With my phone in hand, I made my way back to the main house. The night air felt refreshing. Glancing up at the sky, the stars shone bright. Sometime soon, I would make time to lie on a blanket and gaze up into the stars.

  “London! Hurry! It’s time to read!” The tiny body of Ty bounced up and down on the back porch.

  Pam chuckled and shook her head beside him. “I told him to be patient, but he was anxious.”

  “I’m excited too.” I bent down. “Why don’t you pick out one book for me to read? Then, we’ll have to go straight to bed to get our strength. Sparkles likes to perform her tricks in front of well-rested people.”

  “Yes!” Ty took off upstairs and I followed.

  Pam wasn’t far behind when I entered his room. On his lap was “Green Eggs and Ham” by Dr. Seuss. “I love this book. My dad read it to me when I was a little girl.”

  “Mine does too. He said he’s going to make me green eggs sometime. Will you help him?”

  “I’d love to. I made them as a kid with my dad.”

  “Yes! You’re the best, London! I’m glad we’re friends.”

  Kneeling beside the bed, I read. Not five pages in, Ty was fast asleep. He was either full throttle or dead to the world. I tiptoed quietly out the door where I met Pam. An apprehensive look was apparent on her face. “You’re good with him. What do you think?”

  “He’s adorable. Full of energy.”

  Pam’s brows creased. “Is he too much? You don’t have to watch him. I hope you know that’s not conditional.”

  I touched her shoulder. “I love watching him. We had a fun time today. It’s therapeutic I think. Ty doesn’t let me think too much about what happened.”

  “Okay. I know how tough it can be with his energy. I wanted to make sure. We love him to death. A true blessing.”

  Curiosity got the best of me as I asked. “Is his mom around? Ty never mentioned her, but talks about Jaxson all the time.”

  We moved a few steps down the hallway before stopping. The television in the master bedroom at the far end was on. I assumed Levi was in there. “Ty was unexpected. When he was two months old, the mother dropped him off on the front porch in the middle of the night. Left a note claiming he was Jaxson’s. We took him without question. He was in bad shape—malnourished, dirty, and sick.”

  My hand covered my mouth as I gasped. I couldn’t imagine that sweet boy being neglected. Pam continued. “The lawyers suggested a DNA test, but Jaxson knew Ty was his. He was involved exclusively with the mother for a while before things went south. To make it official, Jaxson took the test and now, he has sole custody. Ty doesn’t know the specifics yet. Jaxson will figure out when is the right time. We had no idea Ty existed until he was dropped off on our doorstep.”

  There were so many questions I had, but wasn’t comfortable probing further. We took a few more steps down the hallway. “I hate imagining any child being neglected. Ty mentioned earlier today he was ready for a brother or sister.”

  Stopping, I assumed we were at my room. Pam shook her head. “He’d love a brother or sister. Someday Jaxson will meet the right girl. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Ty was the best thing to happen to Jaxson.”

  “Kids are balm to the soul. That’s what my grandma always said before she passed when there was a rowdy kid anywhere near her.”

  Chuckling, Pam said, “That they ar
e. Goodnight, London. We’re happy you’re here.”

  “Thanks. I’m loving it.” Happiness emanated out.

  She gave me a hug. “Thanks for taking a chance on us. Here’s your room, next to Ty’s if that’s okay.”

  “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

  Stepping inside, I closed the door and took a deep breath. Today was a good day. My phone vibrated with a text.

  Millie: Did they do a full blood panel on you after the wreck?

  That was sudden and unexpected. The clawing sensation I thought I’d overcome quickly returned as old memories dredged to the surface. I had to take a few deep breaths before I responded too harshly to my friend.

  Me: Why?

  Millie: Sorry for asking. I know this brings up bad memories. It’s important. I promise.

  There was no telling why she asked about the report. I didn’t want to know. The trail would lead nowhere like it always had. After I responded, I would focus on all the wonderful memories made today.

  Me: Yes, they did. They admitted the records as part of the evidence which I think you can get copies of if you need it. No drugs were found in my system. They believe I lost consciousness from all the alcohol.

  Millie: Thanks! Big help. Love ya!

  Me: Love ya too!

  There was no doubt in my mind Millie was up to something. Lying in bed, I pulled the cranberry-colored duvet up over my head. The sooner I fell asleep, the quicker I would escape any more thoughts from the accident.

  “LONDON?” GROGGILY, I OPENED MY eyes to find a little boy an inch away from my face. I gasped. “London, I’m thirsty and had a bad dream.”

  Ty. It was Ty. Calm down. It was Ty. For a mere moment I thought I was talking to Alec and my nightmares had returned.

  My voice was scratchy as I responded, “Okay, buddy. I’ll get you some water.”

  I had been in a deep sleep and it took me a minute to get my bearings straight. “Let’s get you back to bed and I’ll be right back.”

  “Can I sleep in here until you get back? I don’t want the bad guys to get me.” Tightly Ty clutched his blanket.