Give a Little

by Lee Kilraine

  “Shit, have you been arrested?” We might have to insist she move near us to watch out for her.

  “Having six older brothers is going to be fun.” She laughed and shook her head. “Later for me.”

  I watched Hope walk back inside the office, then stared at the card in my hand. My first real connection to Ryker in ten years. I pulled my phone from my pocket and entered the number with an unsteady hand. My thumb hovered over the key for a long moment before I connected the call.

  Chapter 30

  Gray

  My heart threatened to pound its way out of my chest. I couldn’t believe I was this close to talking with Ryker. To hearing his voice again. At the very least, I’d hear his voice tell me to leave a message.

  But it wasn’t personalized. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear his voice until the disappointment hit. And then the beep came to leave a message.

  “Ry, it’s me. Hope gave me your number. I need you to come home, Ry. Need to know you’re okay. Miss the shit out of you. Our whole life it was always you and me together. Feels like part of me has been missing for ten years. If you can’t come home—could you at least pick up the damn phone? We all miss you.”

  I disconnected the call and let out a shaky breath.

  Fuck. Why didn’t I apologize? I had so much more I needed to say.

  I called him back. Of course it was the computer voice telling me to leave a message.

  “It’s me again. I just wanted to say… I should’ve run with you. You never asked me for anything. I shouldn’t have hesitated. Not one second. You can’t count how many times I’ve imagined having that chance over again. I swear, Ry, if I only had one do-over in my whole life—I’d use it for that moment. It kills me knowing I let you down. Please, Ry. Come home. I’m not even asking you to forgive me. But everyone needs you back.

  “We’re doing okay. Started a construction business together. All of us. Six Brothers Construction. You got that, Ry? Six Brothers. You’ve been on the payroll since day one. You’re the fucking head of morale and performance. So come home and earn your salary, you freeloader. Fuck, I don’t know what I’m saying. Just… Just come home, Ryker. I need you back.”

  I hung up, knowing that hadn’t been any more coherent than the first call. Fuck me, I’d been closed off so long, I pretty much sucked at this emotional crap.

  Which didn’t bode well for my next challenge: Tessa.

  * * * *

  I sat at the long oak bar at Big Eddie’s waiting for Tessa to show up. It was a few minutes after one, and I was already coming up with a plan if she stood me up. I realized she asked for this meeting, but I had a few things to get off my chest too.

  “Hey, Gray. Got something for you. Hang on.” Eddie notched his chin up at me in greeting. When he finished pulling two beers for a couple down at the far end, he fished a small paper from his pocket and passed it to me. “Here you go. I was instructed to give this to you.”

  I opened the paper. Typed, in all caps, it read, THE RUSSIAN FOX IS ON THE HUNT. What the fuck? “Who gave it to you?”

  “The person was unfamiliar to me,” he said.

  “And you’re sure they said give it to me? They specified Gray Thorne?” I checked the date on my phone wondering if it was April Fool’s and I’d lost track of the day. Nope.

  “Actually, no. They said, and I quote, ‘Give this to the best-looking to-die-for mother-effing gorgeous male regular customer in your bar.’”

  “Why thank you, Eddie, I’m flattered. I had no idea you thought of me that way.” I winked at him.

  “Eh. I’d only rate you a seven. I figured the note should go to Bruno, the guy who always sits in booth seven. The waitresses overruled and said that could only be you.”

  Eddie moved down the bar and I was left to puzzle it out. Until I felt someone staring at me. At close range. As in right next to me. I turned to see an older woman had taken the stool to my right. She had greying blond hair and a petite figure, and wore a pair of those disposable sunglasses like people wear after cataract surgery.

  “Gray Thorne?” she asked, actually giving me a very obvious once-over. The woman looked to be in her seventies, but that was a wild guess. Age hadn’t taken any beauty from the rose, as they say. “I’d like a word with you.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Except I’m expecting someone any minute, so…”

  “You’re expecting Tessa.” She removed the sunglasses, and Tessa’s eyes stared back at me. “She’s going to be a little late. I wanted to speak with you first, so I told her you pushed the meeting back fifteen minutes.”

  “That was a bit rude of me, don’t you think?” I raised one brow.

  “I’m Tessa’s grandma. Call me Gigi.”

  I nodded. “Gigi, how can I help you?” Although my guess would be by staying away from Tessa.

  “By not standing in the way of my granddaughter’s happiness. I know Paul is back and wants a second chance.”

  Yep, called it. Didn’t make me happy. “So you’re asking me to step out of the way so she and Paul can make a go of it again?”

  “Good God, no.” Her eyes flashed my way, both disgusted and disappointed. “Do you know that man walked out on her? Barely out of a coma. Didn’t know if she’d ever walk again. Still grieving over just hearing that her mother didn’t make it. And he—”

  “Excuse me, what? What do you mean her mother didn’t make it? Tessa’s mother died in the crash?” My body tensed, waiting for the response. I hoped like hell I’d misheard her.

  “She did. Tessa didn’t tell you? She’s still reeling from it. Carries around guilt over it, poor thing.”

  “Fuck. Pardon me.” Tessa was even stronger than I’d thought.

  “Go right ahead. I’ve said it myself plenty the last three years. Before that too, but I was a cop, so…”

  “Fuck. Goddamn fuck. The fucker walked out on her.”

  “Maybe you can understand why I want Tessa to have whatever she wants to make her happy.”

  “She deserves to be happy,” I said. After all she’d been through, all she’d lost, and all she fought back from—Tessa should live every day for the rest of her life happy. Even the rainy days.

  “Don’t we all, Gray?” Gigi shrugged and looked at me carefully. “Suppose she needs you to be happy?”

  And by cheating myself of happiness, I’m also cheating Tessa.

  “I see what you did there, Gigi.”

  “Oops! Here she comes. Hot damn, that’s my girl. Pretend you never saw me.” She patted my cheek and scooted around to the far side of the bar.

  In the mirror above the bar I watched a woman approach. Dark auburn hair. Trench coat covering her from neck to calves. Pretty sure I just found the Russian fox.

  Chapter 31

  Tessa

  I walked into Big Eddie’s bar and found my mark. I wore a dark auburn wig of long wild, sexy hair and a trench coat. I approached from behind, quietly, and then slid onto the bar stool next to him. This was my third attempt at Gray Thorne, and I really wanted to make this one work. I sucked in a breath and jumped in.

  I leaned into his space and whispered, “Ze Russian fox iz on zee hunt.”

  I felt his body freeze, before he slowly turned his head around to me. His eyes went wide and it almost—almost—looked like his lips wiggled, but no. I could tell he was trying not to smile though on account of one of his dimples peeked out.

  Based on his amusement, I was going to guess I didn’t hit the mark of sexy Russian. So it was a good thing I’d—wait, a woman down on the short side of the “u” shaped bar caught my attention.

  “Gigi, what are you doing here?” I knew she was aware of my meeting with Gray, but why she’d want to be here…no clue.

  “That, dear boy, is what’s known as having your cover blown,” Gigi said to Gray. To Gray?

  �
�Grandma, why are you here?”

  “I wouldn’t miss this for the world, Tessa. I wasn’t sure what you’d come up with, but I knew it would be something good. You’re a Madigan through and through.” Then she leaned toward me and said, “Bag him and tag him, sweetie.”

  I shook my head, looking at Gray. “I can’t take her anywhere.”

  “Contessa, stop delaying. Get on with what you need to say.”

  “Right. Gigi’s right.” I pulled the wig off, setting it on the bar. “I do have a confession to make…”

  “Wait—wait, Tessa, just wait.” Gray spun both our stools until we were face to face, his knees surrounding my legs, his eyes locked on mine. He put one hand on the back of my neck and pulled me in. “Tessa, I’m sorry about your mother.”

  My breath hitched and my chest went tight.

  “Your grandmother just told me. I’m fucking sorry, Tess.” He kissed my forehead, a warm, there-for-you kiss. And then he wrapped me in his arms and held me. Just held me and I tucked my face into his neck and breathed him in. And at first I was fine. I enjoyed the strength of his solid body. I thought about what it would have been like to have Gray with me three years ago, when the pain and sadness tore at me. A sob escaped from deep in my chest where I’d stored my pain. Gray’s hand ran up my neck, through my hair, to cradle my head. A shudder rolled up my body. Then, before I knew what was happening, I was sobbing into his neck. Like worse than Old Yeller.

  Because in the three years since my mom had died, I hadn’t had anyone I could let go with. Dad and Gigi were carrying their own grief. They would have gladly taken mine too, but I couldn’t add to theirs. Not when I blamed myself. And Laura was trying to be strong for me, so I couldn’t blast her with it.

  But I didn’t even have to ask Gray. He just knew and he didn’t hesitate. Didn’t falter. He was just there ready to share my pain. Absorb it. Handle it. Take as much as he could, so I had less to carry. And I let him. I felt his lips press against my temple. I knew he would be like this. From the moment I saw the fierce look in his eyes when he spoke of needing to find Ryker. I knew he’d be a man I could count on. A man who would stand strong when life tossed me around.

  Maybe I could skip the explanations and confession and stay locked in the circle of his arms. Would forever be too long? He could manage his design appointments with me clinging to his chest like a koala bear, right? Maybe things like showering or dental appointments would be a challenge, but…

  “Contessa…” Gigi said. Right.

  I sat back, moving out of the circle of Gray’s arms, wiped the tears from my face, and inhaled a careful breath through my nose. Then exhaled just as carefully before lifting my eyes to Gray.

  “Do you remember when you accused me of setting the whole thing up? The Viagra and arranging the meeting for the reno just to meet you?”

  He blinked. Then frowned. “You really did put the Viagra in my beer?”

  “No. No. But I did have an ulterior motive when I set up the meeting with SBC. I mean, I did need the reno, but my plan all along was to meet you. I had a two-pronged approach. It started small and sort of snowballed the more I was around you. The more I got to know you. First, I just wanted a kiss. Laura said I needed a kiss so I wouldn’t fall for Paul again.”

  “A kiss from me?”

  “Well, anyone, really. But I picked you, yes.”

  “You picked me?” Gray repeated, his gaze dancing over my face.

  Eddie slid beer in front of Gray. “Sounds like you’re going to need this, buddy.”

  Not helpful, Eddie.

  “I’d just met you, here, as a matter of fact—the whole cat mix-up—and Paul was here too. Laura was afraid Paul wanted me back and that I’d fall for him since I hadn’t—well, that’s not important why—the thing is the first time I met you my inner voice started talking.”

  “You hear voices?”

  “Yes, I hear voices. So if that makes me crazy, go ahead and step back.”

  “Not going anywhere, Tessa.” Gray’s eyes were locked on me.

  “Neither am I.” This from one of the waitresses leaning against the bar, engrossed.

  “The important thing is I didn’t hear any voices with Paul. Only I didn’t notice until I heard the voices when I met you. Which totally explains why it wasn’t the end of the world when Paul broke off the engagement. He wasn’t the one.”

  “Because you never should have been engaged to him since you didn’t hear the voices,” the waitress supplied. Good to see someone was following along.

  “Exactly.” I pointed at her. “I was devastated when Paul broke up with me, but mostly because the timing sucked. Once I realized it didn’t break me, I knew I hadn’t loved him enough. And if Paul did love me, it wasn’t the love that I was looking for. I want a love that will stick. Love that sticks through all the worst times. Someone strong enough to handle the car crashes in life.”

  Eddie slid a beer over to me. “Hell, Tessa, I think you need a drink more than Gray does.”

  “And then I met you, and my inner voice started speaking to me.”

  Gray’s eyes stayed steady on mine, but I couldn’t read his reaction.

  “It started with the voice that said ‘pay attention’ the first time you touched me. It was the voice that said ‘this one’ when I opened my door to your sexy smile. It was the voice that told me I was ‘finally home’ when I fell into your arms.”

  “That’s so romantic. It’s like a movie,” a woman next to Gigi whispered.

  Gigi patted her hand. “It is, dear. It is.”

  “Although I didn’t need the voice to tell me that. I felt it. It started when I saw the passionate, devoted man whose pain over his missing brother guided his every breath. That man reached into my chest and grabbed my heart. That’s when I changed my mind about what I wanted. I didn’t just want a kiss; I wanted the full monty.”

  Gray crossed his arms over his chest with a frown. “What? Are you saying while we sat in your kitchen fighting about five vs. six brothers, you’re telling me you were thinking of having sex with me?”

  “Maybe.” I felt heat rush into my cheeks, but I could blame it on the fact that I was still wearing the trench coat buttoned up to my neck. “But, actually, no. I’m not talking about just sex. I decided I wanted more than that too.”

  “That day in your kitchen? Within an hour of meeting each other?” Gray didn’t look scared, so much as perplexed. And intrigued. Intrigued was good. Hopefully.

  “Yes. You sat in my kitchen and talked about Ryker with passion and dedication. I wanted that. I wanted you to feel that for me, so I changed the plan. I wanted more than a kiss. I wanted more than sex. I wanted a relationship. Which everyone around town knows you don’t do. So I had to try to entice you, which I’m bad at. I’m a horrible enticer.”

  “I don’t know about that, Tessa.” Gray’s lips slid into a grin and his eyes roamed over my trench coat all hot and sexy like. “I don’t think you should sell yourself short.”

  “Gray, quit interrupting and let her finish the story,” Eddie said. He’d been standing wiping down the same spot on the bar for five minutes. “Keep going, Tessa.”

  “Right. So Gigi and Laura helped me come up with a plan: Operation Snag Fifty Shags.”

  “I’m afraid to ask.” Gray glanced at the beer Eddie had placed in front of him, looking like he might need to down the whole thing. Instead, he pulled in a breath and glanced back at me.

  Gigi leaned forward to say, “It was some of my best techniques from my days on the force going under cover. Man whispering. Saying ‘no’ to get your attention. It was a good plan.”

  I watched Gray’s lips flatten out and his dimples disappear. Not a good sign.

  “God, I’m so sorry. None of this was about deceiving you. None of it was about trying to make a fool out of you. It was about me seeing somethi
ng in you that I wanted. No. It was about me seeing something in you that I thought I needed. That I thought I didn’t want to live without. And I’m not talking about the heart-stoppingly gorgeous man you are. Every woman in town knows you’re that.”

  The women at the bar let it be known they agreed. Gray’s eyes darted around as if just noticing the audience we’d gathered.

  “Whoa. Hold that thought, Tessa. Excuse us everyone. Eddie—using your office.” He stood, took my hand, and steered me toward the back office, much to the disappointment of our audience.

  The office was small, dimly lit by a single round light on the ceiling and one on Eddie’s paper-filled desk. Gray rolled Eddie’s desk chair over for me, and he leaned his butt against the side of the desk.

  “Go ahead. I think I interrupted you just when you mentioned deceiving me.” He crossed his arms over his chest and waited.

  Chapter 32

  Gray

  “I didn’t mean to deceive you.” Tessa frowned and shook her head. “None of what I was feeling gave me the right to do what I did. Just because I felt something—some connection to you—doesn’t mean you felt the same thing. You’re right. Ha! I’m no better than the Viagra-in-the-beer woman. I apologize.”

  “Tessa, babe, you’re nothing like her.” I reached out and tugged a curl of her hair gently. But even then I drew my hand back quickly. We still had a few hurdles to jump in this conversation. I couldn’t touch Tessa until we’d both had our say, or it might not get said. “Do you have anything else? Or is it my turn?”

  “Since this feels like the sales pitch of my life, then yes. I have more to say.” She twisted her fingers together, bringing her clasped hands up against her chest. “I’ve learned life is fleeting. It can be gone in an instant. I’m willing to go after what I want, but I’m not going wait around forever. I’ve already lost three years of my life. Time is precious. Think about all the time you’ve wasted waiting to hear from Ryker. Letting guilt rule your life. I know how that feels. You think I didn’t sit around my house while the earth rotated around me, feeling guilty?”