As She Fades

by Abbi Glines

  His right hand slid down my thigh, then jerked it up by the knee until I was open to him. Until his hardness was pressing where I needed it most. I cried out against his lips and moved my hips so that the friction from the contact gave the pleasure my body was aching for.

  “Fuck,” Slate muttered against my lips as he broke the kiss and began pressing a trail down my neck and toward my chest. My breaths were short and gasping with each inch he drew closer to my breasts. I wanted this. I wanted it with Slate. I didn’t care anymore about who he’d been with before. I just wanted him.

  “Vale,” he whispered as he lifted his head to look up at me. I couldn’t speak so I just met his gaze. “Get in my car.”

  I nodded, but my legs weren’t sure they could work. Slate picked me up and walked back to the dark area of the parking lot to his Jeep. Stopping at the passenger door, he dropped me back to my feet and pressed me up against the cool metal. “Let’s get something straight. I’ve wanted to fuck you since the moment I laid eyes on you. The fact I didn’t was out of respect, not lack of desire. You’re different.”

  Oh.

  Then his mouth was back on mine and his hand was at my shorts, unbuttoning them with smooth efficiency. We were in a parking lot at my place of work, and when my shorts began to slide down my legs, I waited until they hit the ground and stepped out of them. Slate fell to his haunches and picked them up, then ran his hand up my bare leg until he reached the top.

  I held my breath as he leaned in and kissed the pink satin of my panties. That was something I’d never done with Crawford. We had just had sex a couple of times. Like everything else with Slate, this was different. It was life-changing.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  SLATE MOVED ME against him as he opened the door behind me and then backed me up before picking me up and setting me in the seat. He slipped my panties down and tossed them onto the backseat, then placed a hand on each of my knees and slid them open. Exposing me to him. Something else I’d never done.

  “I gotta taste you,” he said with a hoarse whisper, before lowering to his knees and sinking his head between my legs. The first swipe of his tongue had me crying out his name and grabbing his head. That was unlike anything I’d ever had. I wanted more.

  The more he kissed me there and ran his tongue in places that ached for him most, the more desperate I grew. His name was the one thing I managed to cry out as my body sped tighter and higher toward release. I was willing to accept anything if I could feel like this.

  Just as I thought I was going to scream and pull out all Slate’s hair, my world exploded and the release shot through me. I was left trembling as he kissed up my stomach, then pulled me into his arms. “You enjoyed that.” His voice sounded pleased and I gave a weak laugh.

  “Yes.” I stated the obvious.

  “I did, too. And for now I’m going to let that be enough.”

  Wait. What?

  “Don’t be mad. I like you all soft and relaxed in my arms. I’m taking it slow with you, Vale. You are different. I don’t want to treat you like the others. I can’t. My feelings … I just … I can’t.”

  Could this be enough? Being with him like this and knowing he was with other girls, too? The idea of him touching someone else like he’d just done to me was breathtakingly painful. I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

  “I can’t, either,” I said, pulling away from him. “That was amazing … but I can’t be with you this way and know I’m one of many.”

  Slate sighed and took my face in his hands. I liked it when he did that. It was like he was claiming me. Telling me he cherished me. Wanted me. “You are the only one. I haven’t been with anyone in two weeks. The more I’m with you, the more I want to be with you. Just you. I can’t even stand being near other girls because they aren’t you.”

  I wanted to believe that. It was beautiful. But it was a lie.

  “I know about your date tonight.”

  He nodded. “Yeah. I figured. But did you know I canceled it this morning after I kissed you and dropped you off? I didn’t want it. I just wanted you.”

  Oh.

  He pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose. “It’s just you, Vale. For the first time in my life I’m not looking. I found what was missing.”

  My heart squeezed and I felt tears sting my eyes. I didn’t want to cry, so I buried my head in his shoulder and inhaled. I felt safe. But more than that I was happy. Complete. And he wasn’t Crawford.

  “Are you crying?” he asked, his voice sounding amused.

  I shook my head, thankful no tears had fallen, and then looked up at him. “No.”

  He smiled down at me. “You’re so fucking gorgeous it’s distracting. Getting past all that and finding out you’re beautiful inside. That there’s this world you see through your eyes that I want to see. And I get to when I’m with you.”

  “Thank you,” I said, emotion clogging my throat again.

  “For the epic pleasure, or for being completely infatuated with you?” He was teasing me again.

  “Both,” I whispered, feeling my cheeks heat up from his blunt descriptive words.

  “In case you were wondering, you taste as good as you look,” he added, slipping a hand under my shirt, then down to cup my still-bare bottom.

  Giggling, I buried my face in his neck again.

  “God, you’re cute, too. I’m completely sunk.”

  I was glad he was sunk. I didn’t want him going anywhere.

  * * *

  GOING TO SLEEP that night was hard. The smile on my face as I stared at the ceiling thinking about all he’d said and our good-night kiss felt right. Even with Everly coming in at two in the morning stumbling drunk and cursing at me, even though she thought I was sleeping. I hid my smile from her.

  I wanted to tell Mae, but I hadn’t wanted to wake her up. She was already figuring out my feelings for Slate. That I wanted more than the friendship that I had claimed. Admitting this to her was going to be fun and make it seem real. I felt as if I were in a dream at times. Especially now with Slate.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  SLATE WAS AT one of my tables watching football the next night when Knox walked in and went straight to him. I hurried and got the drink order out to the new table I had, then went directly to them. I hadn’t talked to Knox about things with me and Slate in a week. But with Slate missing the party last night to be with me and then sitting at one of my tables while I worked, it was obvious that things were different. We were a couple.

  Slate was listening as Knox talked. The serious expression on my brother’s face made me get a little panicked. He didn’t need to step into my business. I knew what he thought of Slate. And I knew how wrong he was.

  “Why are you here, Knox?” I asked, not even trying to hide my irritation.

  “Talking to Slate is all” was his easy response. He was full of crap.

  “Yeah, right. You planning on eating or you about done?” I asked him.

  He held up a hand. “Calm down, sis. I’m just chatting with him.”

  I hated it when he talked to me like I was a child. “And I’m asking why?”

  He leaned back in his seat. “Because rumor has it y’all are in a relationship and I’ve never seen Slate in a relationship. It’s all you’ve ever known. I don’t want you hurt.”

  I started to open my mouth when Slate beat me to it. “I’d never hurt her. I couldn’t. She means too much to me.”

  Just like when he kissed me and when he said the sweet things to me last night, my knees felt weak and my heart did a pitter-patter thing.

  Knox turned his attention to Slate. “Is that so?”

  “Swear it,” Slate said with no question in his tone.

  Knox looked back at me. “You want this? With him?” I knew what he was saying. He was asking me about Crawford. My entire life I’d been with Crawford. It was what my family expected. How did I explain this to him?

  “Yes. People change. Life changes.”

  Knox stared at me as
he turned over my words. I knew he understood what I was telling him. Finally he nodded. “Fine. If this is what you want.”

  “It is.”

  “Then bring me twelve hot wings with a Coke.”

  That was it. We were done. And he was staying to eat with Slate. Letting out a relieved sigh, I nodded and turned to get his order in and check on my other tables.

  That was a confrontation I had dreaded, and I was glad it was over. I didn’t want to have to defend this thing with Slate to anyone. Especially my family.

  A couple of the other waitresses noticed Slate not leaving my section and asked me about him. Some knew him and others wanted to. Mae kept looking at me knowingly as we passed and I knew I had to tell her. She was my friend.

  When Knox parked himself beside Slate for the evening, Mae finally came over to me and put her hands on her hips and raised both her red eyebrows. “Well?”

  “We’re dating. Exclusively,” I told her, not needing more than the “well” to know what she was talking about.

  Her eyes went wide and she glanced back at him. “Slate Allen is exclusive? For real?”

  “Yep.”

  “Holy shit,” she muttered. “I thought maybe you were going to sleep with him tonight or something stupid like that.”

  “We decided on the exclusive thing last night. It’s … we’re different.”

  She let out a bark of laughter. “You’re telling me. Slate Allen doesn’t date exclusively. Y’all are definitely different.”

  I nodded, unable not to grin.

  “So that’s why Knox is here. I was worried we were going to have a fight over your virtue or something.”

  “Just doing the annoying big-brother thing.”

  “Charlie is going to be so bummed.”

  I hadn’t talked to Charlie in a week. He knew I was interested in Slate. It had been hard to hide. We had actually discussed it when we had met up for lunch two weeks ago.

  “Uh-oh. You got trouble,” Mae whispered, staring back at Slate’s table. I turned to see Everly and one of her friends sliding in beside Knox and Slate.

  Slate’s eyes lifted and met mine immediately. I knew he hadn’t encouraged this, but I hoped he’d handle it. I saw him talking to Everly sternly while looking at me.

  She leaned into him and put her hands on his chest and Slate was up and out of his seat fast. He said something about her being desperate and walked off, leaving my brother there with the two girls. Knox was grinning.

  I remained where I was until Slate got to me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and tugged me to him before kissing me thoroughly right there for the entire place to see.

  “I’ll be outside in my Jeep waiting until you get off,” he whispered, then pressed money into my hands before walking away.

  I could feel the daggers that Everly was aiming at me, but I didn’t care. I was smiling like a fool and watching his swagger as he exited the place.

  “Oh my God,” Mae said as she came up beside me. “Sam will never believe this.”

  I didn’t really want to think about Sam or anyone else Slate had slept with in the past. Instead I wanted to think about what he’d just done. It wouldn’t be the first time he would have to do that. He was Slate Allen, and women expected him to be open. I hadn’t really thought about how that would work until I saw it in action.

  When I turned around, Knox’s gaze met mine and he gave me a slow grin, then a small salute. It wasn’t his complete acceptance, but he was saying he would be okay with it. I didn’t need his approval, but it did make things easier.

  Everly was now flirting with Knox and trying to act as if Slate pushing her away and walking off on her hadn’t happened. Although I was pretty sure the whole place had seen it. She was really going to hate me now. I might need to start sleeping with one eye open. Or at least wait until she came in drunk and passed out. Which was almost every night. It was amazing the girl was passing her classes.

  “Let me finish up that table,” Mae said. “I don’t want to have to hit a bitch for you while we’re on the clock. And if you go over there, she’s gonna say something stupid and I’m gonna have to kick her skinny Barbie ass.”

  I agreed. It was best I didn’t speak to Everly.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  THE GOOD NEWS is Everly didn’t come back to the dorm that night. I finally stopped looking for her somewhere between one and two when I dozed off. The next morning when I saw her bed empty, I opened the drapes and let the sunshine in. Strange how you miss something like sunshine in your room in the mornings. It takes not having it at all to realize you love it.

  It was Sunday and I didn’t have work tonight. So, Slate was picking me up to go on a hike through Mossy Ridge Trail and take a picnic lunch. I liked the idea of getting away from Bington and being alone with Slate. I also loved hiking. It had been something I did with Crawford. I wanted this memory with Slate, too.

  I was ready to start building those memories with Slate. Just as I was ready to move on from the ones I had with Crawford. Each day that passed and he didn’t wake up was one more step away from what once was.

  Slate met me downstairs with a bag of muffins and coffee. I had ordered the lunch from a deli in town that we would stop and pick up on our way.

  “Good morning,” he said, leaning in to kiss me.

  “Morning,” I said against his lips.

  “Did the wicked witch give you any trouble last night?” he asked when we pulled apart.

  “Didn’t come back. I got lucky.”

  He nodded. “If she gives you any trouble, let me know. I’ll handle it.”

  Smiling, I took my coffee from him. “Are you going to beat her up for me? It’s frowned upon for boys to hit girls, you know.”

  “I’m aware of that rule, but I have ways to make sure she doesn’t mess with you.”

  I didn’t ask what, because I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

  “That’s very double-O-seven of you,” I teased, and opened the bag to get out a banana nut muffin.

  “I try,” he added, and held out his hand for his chocolate-chip muffin.

  “We need to stop by the deli on Sixth Street. The one with the pink flamingo outside. I ordered our lunch from there. They even pack it up in a basket.”

  He laughed. “We’ll look like serious hikers with our picnic basket.”

  I shrugged. I wasn’t concerned with looking serious. “It’ll be good and the other hikers will be jealous.”

  “And that’s definitely all that matters,” he agreed.

  “Yep.”

  After we finished eating and picked up our lunch, we had about a twenty-minute drive to the place we were hiking. I liked driving through Nashville. I had grown up right outside the city, and going into town had always been a big deal. The little kid in me came out every time I drove through.

  “Uncle D called this morning. They’re sending him back home. He said Jeffery, his neighbor and good friend, was planning on checking in on him and Wilma, Jeffery’s wife, said she’d keep him fed. Still worried about him going home like this, but Jeffery and Wilma are good people. I’m going to give them a call this evening. Check on things.”

  Being away from his uncle while he was sick like this was hard on him. I could see it in his eyes—the concern and the worry. I wished there was something I could do, but I was at a loss.

  “Maybe we could drive up next weekend? I could ask off work and we could go to Huntsville for the whole weekend. You could make sure he has everything he needs.”

  Slate stopped at a red light, then looked over at me. “You’d do that?”

  “Of course,” I quickly replied.

  He smiled at me then and leaned over to give me a quick kiss. “Thank you, Vale. That means a lot.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  We drove in silence the next few miles, then pulled into the parking lot by the path that was marked for hikers. “The whole loop is only about five miles. It’s a rough path, though. Might want to unp
ack that really cute basket and put it in my backpack instead. It’ll be easier for us to carry.”

  “I think that’s a good idea,” I agreed, and moved our lunch.

  “You’ve got good hiking boots,” he noted as he looked down at my feet.

  “My family is big into hiking” was the only reason I gave him. I didn’t want to explain that this was something I once did with Crawford. I wanted today to be about us.

  “Uncle D and I hiked a good bit, too. Especially when I was younger.”

  “Did you hike this trail with him?” I asked as he slipped his backpack on.

  “Yep. About ten times probably.”

  That was good to know. At least he knew where we were going.

  “Let’s do this,” I said as he locked up his Jeep and slipped the keys into the side pocket of his bag.

  There was only one other car parked out here, so we weren’t going to be passing many people along the way. I was happy about that.

  We talked about past hikes and told funny stories, and stopped to see different spots of pure, natural beauty. Once Slate stopped to pull me against him and kiss me, saying he just couldn’t look at me any longer and not at least get a taste. When he did things like that, it made me feel silly and giddy inside.

  By the time we had worked up an appetite, we were at a landing with a few scattered tables and a beautiful view of a stream with fish swimming between the rocks.

  “This is our spot,” he said, putting the backpack on a table.

  “I’m starving,” I admitted, and began unpacking the chicken salad sandwiches, fruit, potato chips, and brownies. I was glad I’d ordered several sandwiches because I could eat two at this point, and I was sure Slate could eat that or more.

  “How many of these do I get?” he asked, reaching for a sandwich.

  “I’m taking two. So the other three are yours.”

  He leaned over the table and kissed me one more time before we sat down to eat.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  THE DAY WAS perfect. The more time I spent with Slate, the more I admired about him. The love he had for his uncle was obvious, even though his life there hadn’t been easy. He’d been taught hard work. Something I really hadn’t experienced in my life. Neither had Crawford.