Plastic Hearts

by De Jong, Lisa

  “I can’t wait to see it on you,” he whispered as he kissed me below my ear. When his lips finally met mine again, his tongue pressed against them and I opened to allow us to taste each other with the kiss. He kissed like his life depended on our connection, like it was his first kiss and his last kiss and the only kiss that had ever really mattered.

  Before I realized what had happened, my back was on the couch and he was nestled between my legs, my skirt working itself up my thigh. He slowly unbuttoned the top three buttons of my shirtdress, exposing my bra and cupped one breast in his hand while the other worked its way through my hair, his lips never leaving mine. All I could think about was him: his scent, his taste and his body pressed against mine. When he pulled one side of my bra down and teased my nipple between his fingers I thought about stopping him, but I couldn’t. My body had never felt so aware, or so hungry. I wanted Dane; his touch and his kisses made me feel everything. He started to kiss his way down so his mouth was where his fingers had been, rolling my nipple with his tongue. I could feel his excitement pressed against my leg and something inside propelled me to touch him, running my hand over his slacks. He ran his hand up my leg before pushing my panties aside, settling it between my legs as he started moving his fingers against me, shooting electricity through my whole body. It was like nothing I had ever felt before.

  For a few minutes I forgot my name, my life; all I felt was the gorgeous man on top of me, sending jolts of lust through places I didn’t even know existed. I never let myself feel this way: so free, so open, so willing to do new things. Dane made me want more. I finally came undone, saying his name before he captured my mouth with his again. He lifted himself up and started pulling my panties down, but I grabbed his hands, freezing him in place. “I don’t want to go any further, okay?” My body was singing for me to experience everything with Dane, but my mind wasn’t quite ready to take that step.

  He gave me a questioning look before climbing back up my body, cupping my face in his hands. I could smell my arousal on him and it shot more warmth through me. “Do you want to stop?”

  “I don’t want to go any further, not now.” I gave him a kiss on the tip of his chin while running my hands through his hair.

  He sighed, but a sated smile touched his lips. “I might need to go take a cold shower.”

  “I should probably tell you something.” I bit my lower lip, trying to work up the courage to have “the talk”. This was a conversation I’d had with other guys, but they were easy to deny. Dane was different; I could see myself giving this part of me to him and it made me really nervous.

  “You can tell me anything, Gorgeous.” His eyes were looking right into mine and the warmth behind them helped me relax.

  “I’m a virgin.” The words came out so quickly and quietly that I was not even sure if he understood what I said, but his body went completely still.

  He finally blinked. “What?”

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ve never had sex before.”

  He pushed up so he was supporting himself with an arm on either side of me. “What? Why?”

  “I guess I’ve never found the guy who deserves all of me yet. I want it to be special and really, I would like it to be the guy I’ll be with for the rest of my life.” My voice was shaking as I thought about the meaning behind what I said. I was talking about forevers and happily ever afters.

  “I’ve never been anyone’s first. I can’t,” he said, shaking his head.

  “What are you talking about, Dane?” He was making me nervous; I hoped my little admission wasn’t a deal breaker. I knew I wasn’t the type of girl Dane was used to, but he was certainly not the type of guy I was used to either.

  He tilted his head to the side. “I’ve had my share of girls, but I’ve never had anything serious. I would hate it if my sister lost her virginity to some prick like me. I don’t deserve it.” His words ripped through me. I hated that he thought of himself like that; if he could only see what I see.

  “What if you’re the one I want to give it to?” I cupped his face in my hands and ran my thumbs over his cheekbones.

  “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I still can’t believe you’re mine. When the time comes, if you’re sure-”

  I cut him off. “If I do anything, it’s because I’m sure. I won’t do anything I don’t want to do. I’m just not ready now.”

  “I can wait, especially if I can do a little of this.” He laid back down on top of me and started to kiss my neck again. We continued like this for at least an hour before we fell asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms. He felt so warm and safe; I could sleep like this every night.

  I was woken the next morning by Dane’s warm kisses across my face. This was better than an alarm clock any day. “Good morning,” I whispered, curling into him.

  “Good morning, Gorgeous. Did you sleep well?” I slept better than I had slept in forever.

  “Yes, I had this amazing human blanket keeping me warm and cozy all night.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, halting his kisses. As he looked in my eyes, I felt something new inside of me. It was a feeling I had never felt towards a man before; it made butterflies multiply in my stomach, but at the same time scared me to death. Looking up at Dane, I realized I was falling for him; that realization caused me to freeze and panic.

  The part of me that doubts everything made a sudden appearance. I saw my parent’s disappointed faces flash before me. I thought of the times I wasn’t enough. Dane didn’t tell me what to do or what I needed to change. He was lying here beside me, calling me Gorgeous, kissing me like he meant it and for once I felt complete. Dane was the half that makes me whole.

  Dane lifted my chin, bringing my eyes back up to his, “Are you okay? You have a weird look on your face,” he said, brushing the hair out of my eyes with his free hand. The softness of his touch made me close my eyes and take a deep breath; he had a way of relaxing me.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry. I was just thinking about something I have to do this morning before class. I should probably get going.” I needed time to think about what the feeling in my chest meant. “And I should probably change out of the clothes I wore last night.”

  His face broke out in a smile. “Yeah, you don’t want anyone to know you just spent the night wrapped in your boyfriend’s arms.”

  “Come on, time to get up,” I said, lightly smacking him on the shoulder.

  He stood as I began to button my dress, pulling everything back into place. Fortunately, I’d worn my long pea coat which would help me cover the wrinkled state of my dress.

  He reached for my hand, kissing my palm before wrapping his arms around me, pulling me in for a lingering kiss. We said our goodbyes and I had to hold back the words that wanted to escape my lips. I wanted to be honest and tell him that being with him scared me. My heart ached because I wanted to tell him everything about my parents and the conflict they caused within me. Most of all, I wanted to tell him he made me happy and made me feel things I’d never felt before. I was already broken, but he had the ability to break me into a million more pieces if I let myself fall for him.

  Jade wasn’t in our room when I got back. She didn’t have class this early on Thursday so I could only assume that she didn’t come home last night. No surprise there. This happened a lot since she had started hanging out with Tyler.

  I’d been stuck inside my own head since I left Dane’s apartment. What I felt this morning after waking up next to him terrified me. For one thing, it was too soon to feel this strongly about someone. This was not supposed to be happening and I let it. Was I ready for this?

  I showered and dressed for class, not expecting Dane to come over with coffee; I had just left him an hour ago, but once again he surprised me. I was trying on the leather jacket he gave me when I heard the knock at the door and when I opened it, he noticed the jacket right away. “I knew it would look great on you. It looked great hanging in the store, but on you..there are no words,” he
said, biting his lip and running his eyes down the length of my body.

  “I love it. It’s not something I would have picked out for myself, but you have great taste.”

  He walked closer to me. “I’ve never seen anything sexier than you in that jacket.” I blushed before reaching up to kiss him. We didn’t have Art class so most of the day would be spent apart. I was going to my much-hated medical classes while he was enjoying his other Art classes. Every day I spent with Dane increased my desire to follow my heart because I watched him follow his without reservations. I didn’t know if I’d ever act on my desires, but they were growing like a weed.

  After a few minutes of kisses, I looked at the clock. “I have to get to class. Some hot guy had me wrapped up all night and I’m already running late.” I winked as I pulled my black ankle boots on over my jeans.

  “Sorry, Gorgeous. Next time, I’m not letting you go,” he said with a sly grin on his face. He grabbed me for one more kiss.

  “Is that a promise?” I asked, breathing heavier than normal. Within seconds, he was behind me, pressing against my back. I felt exactly what I did to him.

  “You better be careful what you ask for,” he whispered, pushing against me one more time. “I may have to show you.” His voice was breathy and I would have been lying if I said I wasn’t aroused by what he was doing to me. I’d never been with someone so intense and didn’t realize how much it would turn me on.

  I turned, trying my hardest to hide the blush on my face. I placed my finger over his lips. “Hold that thought. I have to go to class.” He eyes burned with desire as he turned to open the door for me. He certainly made things interesting and fun. I hoped it would stay that way when Gwen arrived on Saturday.

  Gwen was in the city to meet her florist and we had made plans to have dinner. I was a little surprised when she suggested I bring Dane. I wanted them to meet, but I was nervous about it. If Gwen couldn’t accept him, there was no way my parents would accept him. I was happier than I had ever been in my life and I didn’t want anything to ruin it.

  A knock at the door pulled me away from my thoughts. I didn’t even have to look to know who it was. As I opened the door, Dane pulled me in for a kiss with one hand while holding a carrier with two coffees in the other. He broke away long enough to whisper, “Good morning, Gorgeous”, against my lips before capturing them for one more kiss. If this was my future, I would be a very happy girl.

  “Good morning. Thanks for the coffee,” I said, smiling up at him. I opened the door to let him in and watched as he took his usual seat on my bed. We hadn’t spent the night together since that one night; I think Dane knew that moving too fast scared me and had decided to give me my space. I appreciated how considerate he was, especially since I was pretty sure he was not used to being so patient. He continued to surprise me on a daily basis.

  He watched me as I pulled my hair into a loose knot at the top of my head and applied makeup. I would have thought he’d be bored just watching me do this day after day, but he never complained. “Are you excited for Gwen to get here?”

  “Yeah, I’m a little nervous though,” I said, honestly. We’d talked about this throughout the week. I told him my family was a little judgmental, but Gwen was the least evil of the three. If we could get through today, I would be one step closer to meshing my two lives. I never thought this was possible a month ago, but being with Dane changed me.

  “Baby, it’ll be fine. I’ll be right there with you and I promise to be on my best behavior,” he said, taking a drink from his coffee cup.

  I took a deep breath. “I know. You don’t have to do this, you know.”

  “Quit saying that. I want to meet your family,” he said, grabbing my hand in his.

  I sat on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “Wouldn’t miss it, especially if it’s the only time I’m going to see you this weekend.” He gave me a quick kiss. “You should come over on Sunday. I’ll cook you dinner.”

  “You cook?” I raised an eyebrow.

  “For you, Gorgeous, I can do anything.” How did this guy always know what to say? He could melt a thousand hearts with his words and he didn’t even realize it.

  “Sounds like a plan. No hot dogs or macaroni and cheese, though.” He laughed.

  “Don’t worry, you are worth at least a hamburger,” he winked. I replied by tickling him on both his sides until he was laughing uncontrollably. I knew from previous experience that this would drive him mad and he would be begging me to stop. It worked. “Okay, okay, steak? Pork chops? You name it, Baby, and it’s yours.” Yep, I had Dane Wright wrapped around my finger.

  Dane left right after coffee to run a few errands and I went to the library to get a few hours of studying in before Gwen arrived. I had a hard time concentrating on my notes because I couldn’t stop thinking about tonight and how everything would play out. Would Gwen like Dane? Would she see what I saw in him? What if she hated him and ran right to Mom? I prayed she would see him through my eyes and give him the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully she would see how happy I was and give him credit for his part in that.

  I finally gave up on my attempt to get some studying in and walked back to my dorm. It wouldn’t be much longer until Gwen was here. When I opened the door to our room, Jade was standing there in a tight black cocktail dress and four inch heels. “Wow, Jade, where are you guys going tonight?”

  I invited Jade to have dinner with us, but she had said she had plans. I didn’t press her, but I thought her and Tyler were getting kind of serious. She seemed happy, but guarded, and I hoped he had good intentions. I didn’t want to see her heart broken.

  She looked at me, a huge smile pulling at both sides of her mouth. “Tyler’s company is throwing a cocktail party at Keen tonight to celebrate the completion of a big project. He should be here any minute.” She was absolutely beaming and I knew that look; I’d seen it in the mirror numerous times over the past few weeks.

  There was a soft knock at the door. Jade moved as fast as she could in her killer heels to open it, only to find Gwen standing there. The two had met before and while they got along, I doubted they would ever hit friend status; they were two very different people. “A little happy to see me, Jade?”

  “Sorry, Gwen, I thought you were someone else.”

  Gwen completely ignored Jade, walking past her to give me a big hug. “I missed you, Alexandra. I feel like we haven’t seen each other in forever.”

  “Doesn’t absence make the heart grow fonder or some weird crap like that?” Jade piped in from across the room.

  I gave her a warning look before turning back to Gwen. She was a little shorter than me, but had the same shade of blonde hair that she kept shoulder length and pin straight. She wore black dress pants with a crisp, light blue button down. In some ways, she looked older than she was; more mature, actually. “I missed you, too. Are you ready to head to dinner? Dane is going to meet us there.”

  “God, yes. I have been waiting for this all week,” Gwen said enthusiastically.

  Jade stared at us from across the room and an awkward silence fell over all of us. Tyler couldn’t get here soon enough. I could deal with Jade and I could deal with Gwen, but the two of them together was almost too much for me.

  Jade grabbed her long black coat and glanced at her phone. “Tyler should be here any minute. I’m going to go wait downstairs so he doesn’t have to come all the way up here to get me. Gwen, it was nice to see you again. You girls have a good night and don’t wait up for me.” She winked before disappearing through the door.

  Gwen stood there with a confused look on her face. “Won’t she be cold in that dress? It’s freezing outside.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Believe it or not that type of outfit’s pretty standard, even this time of year.”

  “Hmmm” was all she said in reply before we left to head to restaurant. It was a cold night and snow had just begun to fall. I was happy I was able to dress in a s
weater and jeans with a warm beanie covering the top of my head and my favorite white mittens. Something about this weather combined with the lightness in my heart put an extra bounce in my step. Gwen looked at me and laughed; she may be a little prudish at times, but she had this other side that only I saw. She needed someone to bring it out of her.

  “So how are you and Dane?” she asked, tucking her hands into the pockets of her tan pea coat.

  “Really good. I can’t wait for you to meet him.” Just talking about him made me smile.

  “Oh my God, you’re in love.” Her eyes were huge as she waited for my response.

  “No, I’m not,” I said, blushing.

  She hugged me. “Oh, Alexandra, you are. I can see it in your eyes.”

  “Being in love scares me. I don’t know if I can handle it,” I said honestly. I thought about all the ways I had changed recently and how my heart changed pace when I talked to, or looked at, Dane. Just thinking about him made my pulse pick up. But I wasn’t ready to admit to the “L” word, much less say it.

  When I saw Dane standing on the street in front of the café we had agreed to meet at for dinner, I jumped into his arms and wasted no time finding his lips with mine. Any hour spent away from him was too much and I hadn’t seen him since this morning.

  After we finished our greeting, he started to run his fingers over a loose strand of hair that had fallen across my forehead. “Did someone miss me?”

  I tapped his nose with my index finger. “Just a little. Come on, I want you to meet Gwen.”

  I had left Gwen standing a few feet away when I ran to greet Dane. She looked a little uncomfortable seeing this affectionate side of me. She offered a small wave as we approached her. “Hi, I’m Gwen.”

  Dane extended his hand to her. “I’m Dane. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  She accepted his hand. “All good I hope.”

  He laughed. “Of course.”

  “Why don’t we go inside? It’s freezing out here,” I said as the cold wind blew in my face. It was particularly unpleasant today.