What He Really Feels (He Feels Trilogy)

by Lisa Suzanne

  “The thought of holding back from you while I was with someone else… it tore at me. It clawed at me. I know it’s only been one day, but I literally couldn’t be away from you any longer.”

  My lips hurtled down to hers, and this time, she didn’t freeze. She opened her mouth to mine, and our tongues clashed violently together, all of the need and the craving and the lust pouring into our connection. My arms tightened around her, and I felt her breasts crushed to my chest. Her hands tightened around me, and TJ woke from his slumber as he tried his best to push past the restraint of my jeans to find his way to where he belonged: inside the woman whose mouth was pressed to mine.

  She jumped up onto me so her legs were wrapped around my waist, and I held her under her perfect ass with one hand and around her waist with the other as her hands tangled into my hair, her lips never leaving mine. I suddenly had the feeling that everything was right in my world.

  We stood in my entryway kissing for an eternity.

  I wanted to kiss her for the rest of my life.

  With her body wrapped around mine and our lips still connected, I started making my way toward my bedroom. I kissed my way down her neck, stumbling over the shoes I had left laying out as I blindly made our way to my bedroom. I tossed her onto my bed and tumbled down on top of her.

  She lifted my shirt over my head and then scratched her nails down my back. Fuck, that was hot.

  I tore her sweatshirt off over her head and fumbled with her bra, anxious and excited and ready for this moment all at the same time. I got her bra off (feeling like whoever invented those fucking clasps had to have been a woman), and she pulled me down on top of her so that her beautiful breasts were pressed against my bare chest. Somehow my erection became even harder, stiff as steel, and I needed to be inside of her like I needed to take my next breath.

  Her hand grasped me through my jeans, and she moaned loudly when she felt how hard she made me.

  “That’s what you do to me,” I murmured. I groaned into her and kissed her neck as her hand moved up and down.

  “I want you to fuck me until I scream.”

  Good fucking gracious, I nearly came at her words.

  “Your wish is my command,” I grinned, and I took off my jeans and boxer briefs in one smooth motion as she shimmied out of her sweatpants and panties, throwing them on the floor beside her until she was wearing only the locket I’d given her.

  She lay back on my bed, and I took in her sheer perfection for one moment. And then I moved over her, hovering for a moment, my dick hard at the juncture between her legs as I supported myself with my arms on either side of her, and she wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

  She gazed up at me, and I was filled with love for this woman beneath me, love so much stronger than I had ever felt before in my life. I slowly eased my way into her body, and her eyes became heavy at our contact as she threw her head back in utter pleasure. Seeing her face like that, with her eyes half-closed and her lips parted and a sheen of bliss infusing her cheeks, and feeling her body from the inside as her hands tightened on my body, her nails digging into my skin, was nearly my undoing.

  I pulled back, almost all the way out, before driving back into her. She moaned as she took me to the hilt, and I stayed there for a moment, loving the feeling of being inside of her again. I circled, and then I eased back and surged forward again. And then her hands found my ass, and she dug her nails into me, urging me to move faster.

  And faster I moved.

  I slammed into her, fast and hard, with long, deep, driving strokes. She squeezed around me, her muscles contracting and pulling me in, like her body was made for mine.

  Her moans became louder, and those sounds escaping her lips sent shots of desire through my system. “Tiger,” she moaned, and the sweet and sexy nickname she had given me drove me closer to ecstasy.

  I flipped over, never breaking our bodily connection, so that she was riding on top of me. I loved the view of her breasts moving in time with my deep drives into her body, and her fingers found my chest as she dug her nails into me.

  “I’m close,” she murmured, and then she threw her head back and groaned loudly, riding on top of me as I panted and groaned beneath her.

  My hands found her breasts, and I tugged at her nipples. “Me, too,” I said. I pumped up hard into her, and she screamed.

  Mission accomplished.

  I felt my body tense up and then my release came just as hers did. “Oh fuck,” I groaned as I erupted into her, and she screamed out again, yelling “Tiger” over and over as she collapsed down onto my chest.

  Making love to her was even better than I had remembered. The feel of her body on both the inside and the outside was sublime, otherworldly.

  I stroked her back absentmindedly as we both came down from our orgasm-induced highs, our bodies still connected as I remained hard inside of her.

  I was overcome with emotion for this woman. I had never known the feelings that I associated with her even though I spent half of my life believing that I knew what love was. This was something new and different and addictive, and I would never have enough of her.

  Eventually I lifted her just slightly to pull out, and she groaned and then settled back into her position on my chest sleepily as her legs tangled with mine.

  “Can I get you anything?” I asked, tightening my grasp around her.

  “No,” she mumbled, and then her breathing evened out and I knew she was asleep. I gazed down at her lying on top of me, her hair spread out over part of my chest and my arm, her face just over my heart as she cuddled into me.

  “I think I love you,” I whispered.

  We slept like that for the entire night. I hadn’t even realized that I had fallen asleep until the room was brightly lit by the morning sunshine. Lindsay was still wrapped around me, sleeping soundly. I didn’t want to wake her, but I had to get up and use the restroom. The two beers I drank before she had shown up on my doorstep were ready to make their exit.

  I gently untangled myself from her and went to take care of business, glancing at the clock on my way out of the room. It was only 7:30, and I didn’t have anywhere to be that day. I just wanted to hold Lindsay in my arms for the entire day. I headed to the kitchen after the bathroom and gulped down a glass of water, and then I headed back to the bedroom. She was still sleeping, and I slipped into bed next to her, wrapping my arms around her so I was spooning her, and I fell back into a blissful sleep.

  She woke up about two hours later. “Jesus,” she said, scrubbing her eyes as she looked up at the clock. “I never sleep this late.”

  “Workouts like the one we had last night will do that to you.”

  She grinned.

  “You want to talk?” I asked, needing to know the details of what went down between her and Spencer.

  She sighed. “Yeah. But not here. This bed is our sanctuary. Okay? Only you and me in here.”

  I smiled at her, loving her sentiment. “You are the most perfect woman who ever walked this planet.”

  We got up and she went to the bathroom to wash up while I put on the coffee. We met back on the couch, and she settled into the same position that we had been in just the day before. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago.

  She held up the earring. Her earring.

  “This is mine,” she said.

  I gazed over at her, and then I nodded. “It was all I had left of you.”

  “I thought I’d lost it forever,” she whispered. Her eyes were glittering with unshed tears.

  I wasn’t sure if she was still talking about the earring.

  “It’s yours, now,” I murmured, and I wasn’t sure that I was still talking about the earring, either.

  Her legs were draped over my lap, and I imagined our future together. I could see the two of us sitting on a couch in our own home together, just talking after a long day of work, her legs in my lap as I absently stroked them, feeling her soft skin. And just as I pictured that in my mind, I realized that I didn�
�t even know what she did for a living. I knew very little about her besides how strong my feelings had become.

  “Talk to me about what happened before you came here last night,” I said, figuring that was probably the best place to start considering we hadn’t done much talking the night before.

  She sighed. “Well you know the basics. When you texted me and told me to end it with him, I knew you were right. I couldn’t pretend with him because it would only end up hurting him more in the long run.”

  “What did you say to him?”

  “We were watching television. A commercial came on, and I turned to Spencer, and I just blurted, ‘I don’t think I can do this anymore.’ And he said, ‘Do what anymore?’ and I said, ‘Us.’ The look on his face… God, it was horrible, but I kept going. I told him that I had ended things the first time for a reason, and while things had been a little better in terms of me being a priority, I realized in our time apart that we would be better off as friends.”

  “How did he react?”

  “He said I was wrong, and he asked me what he could do to make things better. And I said that there wasn’t anything because for me, it was over. I told him that I was going to stay with a friend so that we could sort our feelings out apart from each other.”

  “Stay here.” It was the perfect solution; I could spend unlimited time with her when we weren’t at work.

  She smiled. “Thank you, Tiger. I appreciate the offer, really. But I have a friend who I’ll stay with.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. You’ll stay with me.”

  She looked at me for a long moment. “Travis, we barely know each other.” Her voice was quiet, as if she was trying to let me down gently.

  I shrugged. “I know enough to know that I don’t want to be apart from you.”

  “From two nights of fantastic sex?”

  “No. From two nights of fantastic sex and the conversations we’ve had, and these… I don’t know, these… feelings… I’ve developed for you. From the way you make me feel whenever you’re in the same room as me.” I grabbed her legs and yanked so she ended up on my lap. I laced my arms around her waist. “From the way you kiss me.” I kissed her lips gently, just once. “From the way your fingers grab my hair when you get really hot for me.” I kissed her again. “From the way you’re thoughtful and caring and sexy as hell.” My lips found hers, but this time neither of us let go.

  The coffee pot beeped, signaling the freshly brewed pot. I reluctantly broke from Lindsay to get us each a cup. “How do you take it?” I asked from the kitchen as she lounged on the couch.

  “Cream and sugar. Flavored cream if you’ve got it.”

  “Hazelnut okay?”

  “My favorite.”

  “See, we’re learning stuff about each other already. We take our coffee the same way. Add it to the list of common interests.”

  She giggled.

  “Do you want anything to eat?” I asked, stirring the cream into the two cups.

  “Not yet. My stomach needs coffee first.”

  I grinned as I made my way into the family room and handed her a mug. “Another mark for the common interest column.”

  I sat back down and we resumed our couch position. The perfect part of it was that I got to touch her sexy legs while looking at her beautiful face. It was a win-win for me.

  “I have a stupid game I want to play,” she said, shyness blooming in her cheeks.

  “Oh?” I asked, sipping my coffee.

  “It’s a game I learned in college for when you’re getting to know somebody.”

  “What is it?”

  “The ABCs of Getting to Know You. We trade back and forth with each letter, and we have to say something we want to know about the other person. Like if I started with A, I would say, ‘Age,’ and then we’d both have to say our ages.”

  “Sounds interesting. What’s the consequence if something comes up I don’t want to answer?”

  She gave me a look. “In the interest of not holding back from each other, I’m hoping we won’t have to use our Plead the Fifth card.”

  “So what’s that?”

  “You can opt out of a question, but you have to do a dare of my choosing.”

  “So you’re saying you’re going to answer every single one of my questions?”

  “Sure. I don’t have anything to hide. Why, do you?”

  I grinned. “Let’s play the game and we’ll see.”

  She giggled again, and I fell a little more in love with her. “Okay. I’ll go first. Age?”

  “Twenty-six. I’ll be twenty-seven in March,” I answered.

  “Twenty-four. I’ll be twenty-five in March.”

  “So I ask the B?”

  She nodded.

  “Birthday?” I asked, since it was the first thing that came to mind after “age.”

  “March 12.”

  “Shut the fuck up,” I said.

  “What?”

  “March 12 is my birthday, too.”

  “Shut up. You’re lying.”

  I stood up and walked to my bedroom, returning with my wallet. I pulled out my license and handed it to her.

  “Geez,” she said, gazing at the proof. “The weird coincidences continue.”

  “Common interest column?” I asked, and she nodded, grinning at me.

  “Career?” she asked.

  “I’m an architect.”

  “Sexy. What have you designed?”

  “Buildings,” I deadpanned, and she laughed as she mock hit me in the shoulder. That stupid line worked every time. “What about you?”

  “I’m an event planner.”

  “I could see you doing that. What have you planned?”

  “Events.” She giggled, mimicking my answer.

  I laughed with her.

  “I’m actually a junior planner. I’m basically an assistant, but I’ve worked on weddings, anniversaries, birthday parties, office Christmas parties… you name it.”

  “Do you like it?”

  “Most of the time. Not when we have Bridezillas.”

  “Bridezilla?”

  “A bride who is a total bitch.”

  I chuckled. “Okay, more about careers later. Onto D. Dogs or cats?” I secretly hoped she would answer this one correctly.

  “Dogs, obviously.”

  I grinned. “Thank God. If you said ‘cats,’ I was going to have to seriously rethink things with you.”

  “Cats are a deal breaker?”

  “For any other woman, yes, they would be. But I suppose I could learn to live with it for you.”

  Our back and forth banter had us both laughing as we got to know one another. “So I assume dogs for you, too, then?” she asked.

  I nodded. “Definitely.”

  “E for education?” she asked.

  “I have a Bachelor’s and a Master’s in Architecture from Arizona State University.”

  “My Bachelor’s is in Business Marketing from SDSU, and I started taking classes toward my MBA last year, but I’m only taking one or two online classes per semester. Classes are kicking my ass with a full time job.”

  “I went right after my Bachelor’s, so I wasn’t working yet.”

  “That would’ve been the smarter thing to do. I went to work for a year and a half before I decided I wanted to go back to school.”

  “Why an MBA?”

  “I want to open my own business someday.”

  “Ambitious. I like that.”

  “Give me your best F,” she said with a smile.

  “First time?”

  She sighed. “Oh geez, this just got real.”

  “I’d prefer if you just told me your first time was with me at my apartment in Arizona.”

  “Okay. My first time was with you at your apartment in Arizona.”

  “Liar.”

  She giggled. “Truth?” I nodded. “My first time was my freshman year in college. I was with this guy, Jordan, who I thought I loved but in the end didn’t, and he would ask me ab
out fifteen times a day if I wanted to have sex, and finally he just wore me down and I gave in.”

  “That doesn’t sound like a great experience.”

  “It wasn’t. It was over in about thirty seconds and he left me hanging.”

  “Douche bag.” I couldn’t imagine someone treating this stunning woman in front of me that way. I knew that I would always, always take care of her needs, sexual or otherwise.

  “You don’t know the half of it. Tell me about your first.”

  I thought about Jules for the first time since Lindsay had knocked on my door the night before. “My first time was with my high school girlfriend, Julianne. We lived next door to each other since Kindergarten. Our families were very close. Still are, actually. We have sisters the same age who are best friends, my mom and her mom are best friends, and my dad and her dad golf together. I loved her for as long as I can remember. We dated in high school and slept together on our prom night.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Cliché.”

  I grinned. “Totally.”

  “So do you still hold a candle for this Julianne chick?”

  “The only candle I’m holding at the moment is yours.”

  “Good answer. But you loved her from Kindergarten through high school? How did it end?”

  “Isn’t that an H question?” I teased.

  She narrowed her eyes at me.

  “Okay, okay. But in your own words, ‘oh geez, this just got real.’”

  She reached over and took my hand in hers, and I wondered what had signaled to her to do that. Did I wear my heartbreak for Jules on my face? I didn’t feel heartbroken when I was with Lindsay, but that didn’t mean the hurt wasn’t still there.

  “We broke up just before we went to college. We called it mutual, but I didn’t want to end things. She did. She wanted to have the freedom in college to experience new things and not be tied down to someone she had grown up with.”

  Her thumb rubbed tiny, soothing circles on the back of my hand. “How long had you been together?”

  I rubbed the back of my neck with my other hand. “Like a year, year and a half maybe.”

  “So was that the end?”

  I shook my head. “No. We slept together a few times during college, but for her it was just as friends. My feelings for her never went away.”