Bad Case of Loving You

by Deborah Cooke

  He was like Theo, she realized with surprise.

  The problem with Theo was that he made Lyssa want to believe in things she knew she could never have. It was good that he and Logan would have a connection. She was crazy to hope for more.

  After all, he hadn’t yet explained that heart tattoo.

  After seeing another batch of apartments, Lyssa and Logan still preferred the Upper West Side. Having the park in easy proximity would make it easier to live in the city, in Lyssa’s view, and Logan was all for proximity to Simon. They revisited the listings for the apartments they’d preferred and the agent nudged her to make an offer on the one they liked best.

  But Lyssa was cautious. Four million dollars was a lot of money. Deep in her heart, she was still a middle class girl from Pennsylvania and she’d never spent that much money at once before.

  “I’ll make an appointment with the bank,” she said. “I want to have all the financing arranged before I make an offer.”

  “Tomorrow, then?” the agent prompted and Lyssa smiled.

  “I’ll call you before the end of the week,” she promised, then took Logan’s hand. “The Natural History Museum? Again?”

  “Again,” Logan agreed. “It’s way better than the Christmas windows in the stores.”

  Lyssa and the agent exchanged a smile, then said goodbye. Lyssa and Logan zipped up their coats and put on their hats and mittens.

  “Is it time for you to tell me more?” he asked, giving her a look.

  “There’s not much left to tell you. I knew Theo in college. We dated for a while, then we broke up. After that, I found out that I was pregnant.”

  “But you didn’t tell him?”

  “No. I should have, but I was afraid.” It felt good just to make the confession out loud.

  “Of what?”

  “Well, we made you together and I didn’t want to share.” She put her arm around Logan. “I was afraid he might have different ideas about you than I did, but I should have told him.”

  “That’s not very honest, Mom.” His disappointment in her was clear.

  “No, it wasn’t. I made a really big mistake.”

  He nodded, thoughtful as his father, and they walked in silence for a while. Lyssa concluded another negotiation, scheduling another interview for the weekend. She’d have to make a script so that each reporter got some detail exclusively. She’d removed all the images of Theo and links from her sites, and deleted a lot of tags, when she was supposed to be assessing the charms of various apartments.

  “We should have asked him where the pop-up is today,” Logan said.

  “It’s a secret. Theo might not have been allowed to tell you.”

  Logan nodded, then gave her a look. “What should I call him?”

  “Why don’t you ask him?”

  “I will.” Logan pulled out his phone and Theo’s card, then halted in the middle of his text message to look at her. “Does this mean I have a Grampa and Gramma now, too?”

  “Maybe.” Lyssa didn’t want to respond with too much enthusiasm until she knew how Theo’s parents felt about Logan’s existence. Her own parents weren’t part of Logan’s life because of their hurtful views and she didn’t regret that. “I’m not sure Theo’s parents are alive.”

  “They are. He said they live in Manchester.” Logan gave her a look as if he expected a fight. “I should know them.”

  “It’s up to Theo.”

  Her son studied her for a minute, then went back to his text message. “Justin is a dick,” he said. “He shouldn’t have kept you from telling Theo about me.”

  “I didn’t say that he did...”

  “He’s a dick, Mom.”

  “Just because you two disagreed about one thing doesn’t mean he’s a dick. He’s done a good job managing my career, especially this past year.”

  “Because it’s about making more money. That’s all he cares about.”

  “Don’t use that word,” Lyssa said sternly. “It’s not nice.”

  Logan kicked a stone. “How soon can you fire him?”

  “I’m going to do it when he comes back to work. Monday.”

  “I want to watch.”

  “You’re out of luck. You’ll be back at school.”

  Logan sent the message to Theo then took her hand. They hadn’t gone a dozen steps when his phone chimed. His features lit when he looked at the screen. “He answered me!”

  Of course, he had. Theo always kept his word. Lyssa couldn’t stop her smile. “And what did he say?”

  “He says maybe Theo would be good for now, and Dad if I ever want to, but it’s up to me.” Logan looked around. “Theo,” he said, trying it out. “I like that.”

  Lyssa liked that Theo had left it up to Logan whether to call him Dad.

  The phone chimed again. Logan read the message hungrily. “Theo wants to know if we can do something together before I go back to school.” He looked up, hope in his eyes.

  The sight nearly broke Lyssa’s heart. She’d made such a mistake, and all she could do was start to repair the damage now.

  Theo was right: she had cheated them both.

  “I think that’s a great idea.” Lyssa was glad that Theo was offering. “Do you want to go?”

  “Yes!”

  His eagerness warmed Lyssa’s heart. “Doesn’t he have the last pop-up to do tomorrow?”

  Logan sent another text message, watching his phone until the reply came in. “He does. At noon. He wants to know where I want to go after that.”

  “Three guesses and the first two don’t count,” Lyssa teased.

  Logan was already typing, undoubtedly telling Theo that the American Museum of Natural History was his choice. He watched avidly after sending the message. “Theo says he’ll meet me at the museum at two.”

  “You’re supposed to spend tomorrow afternoon with Simon before he comes to sleep over.”

  “Oh.” Logan’s face fell.

  “Tell Theo and ask him if Simon can come, too. And if he agrees, you can text Simon.” Lyssa wondered whether Theo was really prepared to have two ten-year-old boys in his care for the afternoon. On the other hand, he had a sister. For all Lyssa knew, he had nephews.

  Or the woman whose presence in his life had prompted him to get that tattoo might have kids. Lyssa felt a wave of jealousy that she knew she had no right to feel.

  The point was that within hours of learning about Logan, Theo was stepping up to parent. That was the important thing. She should never have doubted him or his intentions.

  Maybe this was going to work out just fine.

  For Logan, at least.

  When the next day was all arranged, her son took her hand, his expression filled with purpose. “I want to know how far our favorite apartment is from Simon’s,” he said.

  “You mean we’re not going to the museum again today?”

  Logan shook his head, then flicked a glance up at her. “I’ll go tomorrow with Theo. I told him the only thing I haven’t seen this week were the butterflies.” It was true. The new butterfly exhibit required the purchase of timed tickets and it was sold out.

  “Remember they said it was sold out. He might not be able to get tickets.”

  “I bet he will,” Logan said with confidence. “Where does he live?”

  “He has an apartment at Flatiron Five.”

  “But it’s a fitness club.”

  “And a tall building. There are apartments above the club.”

  Logan considered that. “I want to know how far that is, too.”

  Lyssa nodded agreement, more than glad to let her son define their missions for the afternoon. The confession she’d dreaded was delivered, the fallout had been less than she’d feared, and she was squarely on the path to her new future.

  For better or for worse.

  Solved. As easily as that. Theo would be spending an afternoon alone with Logan and his friend Simon. Lyssa had agreed easily, which was a good sign.

  But what did he know about t
aking care of two ten-year-old boys?

  He was on the dock for the ferry, waiting with the rest of the F5 crew. Pop-up number eleven would be at the Statue of Liberty. The song would be I Want to Dance with Somebody and Theo hoped some of the tourists would join in. Cassie and Sonja were leading this one together. The dock was crowded, which was a good sign. The ferry was still several hundred feet away so he had a moment.

  And to feel suddenly overwhelmed. Not only did he have a son and want to build a relationship with him, but he needed to tell his parents and probably take care of some legal stuff. His week off was eroding before his eyes.

  He called Kyle first.

  “Suddenly, we’re BFF’s,” Kyle said when he answered, his tone teasing. “I can’t believe you miss me so much.”

  “I need your advice.”

  “That sounds dire, and somewhat frightening. You must be really screwed if you’re turning to me.”

  “Just out of my depth.” Theo told Kyle about Logan as succinctly as he could.

  Kyle gave a low whistle when he was done. “Holy shit. That’s a game changer.”

  “He goes back to his school later this week, but tomorrow I’m taking him and his friend for the afternoon.”

  “Sightseeing in the Big Apple with Dad. Okay. And this is why you need my advice?”

  “I don’t have a lot of experience with kids.”

  “This dad thing is new to me, too.” Kyle paused. “In fact, I think it’s new to most dads the first time around.”

  “But he’s ten! You’ll have a decade to warm up to this part.”

  “While you’re being parachuted in. Okay. I get it.”

  “And you have nephews.”

  “True. Don’t you?”

  “A nephew and a niece but a) they’re younger and b) I almost never see them.”

  “Okay.” Kyle was thinking, which was a good start. “What’s the plan for tomorrow?”

  “The American Museum of Natural History. It’s apparently his favorite.”

  “All good. I’ll bet he knows the place inside and out.”

  “That’s the story. I’m getting timed tickets for the butterfly exhibit.”

  “Unusual choice.”

  “No. It’s the last frontier, the only thing he hasn’t seen.”

  “Bucket list. I respect that kind of focus.”

  “His friend’s coming, too.”

  “Good. That will give him confidence. But you need to make a big win with this outing, start things off on the right foot and all that.”

  “I agree. How?”

  Kyle mused for a moment. “You could buy them some slime.”

  “Slime?”

  “You know, they’re ten-year-old boys. Anything gross will do the trick. Fart jokes.”

  “I don’t know any.”

  “Belching contests.”

  “Not my style.”

  “No, I guess not.” Kyle must have been drumming his fingers, because Theo could hear a repetitive sound.

  “You’re not helping, you know,” he felt compelled to say. “I feel more stressed about this than before I called you.”

  “I know, but there’s a solution. We just have to find it.” Kyle snapped his fingers. “Okay, I’ve got it. What’s your endgame?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “What do you want this relationship to be like?”

  “I’m his father. He’s my son.” Theo shrugged. Asking Kyle for advice was proving to be less of a good strategy than he’d hoped.

  “That’s biology,” Kyle said. “What kind of emotional relationship do you want to have with him? How do you want him to see you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  Kyle’s voice dropped low. “Are you the omniscient father figure, invulnerable and powerful, source of all knowledge and defender of morality?”

  “Hardly. I think that’s God.”

  “I’m with you there. Are you his buddy? Like a sympathetic uncle with whom he can share secrets, the one who always has a secret stash of fluorescent slime and/or pornography?”

  “No!”

  “No, that wouldn’t be you, but you get the idea. I can step up for that, by the way.”

  “Thanks very much.”

  “Tell me your goal.”

  Theo took a breath. “I’m not sure I can just jump in and be his dad, because there is this decade gap. We don’t know each other. We don’t have shared history. It would make me uncomfortable to be giving hugs and acting as if I’d been there all along.”

  “You would feel insincere, like you were faking it.”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ve got to guess that he’d feel that way, too. What’s the alternative?”

  Theo considered it. “Friends, I guess.”

  “What’s he calling you?”

  “Theo. I gave him my card. Told him to call me anytime for any reason.”

  “Sounds like friends to me, especially since he did.”

  “Right.” Theo straightened, reassured.

  “So, friends,” Kyle mused. “Now the greater question. Why are certain people our friends?”

  “Because we like them. Because we have something in common. Because we admire them.”

  “Maybe because they have a different view of the world and can provide insight,” Kyle added. “We can ask them for advice, like you’re doing right here.”

  “Right.” Theo wondered where this was going.

  “And we ask them for advice because we’re not perfect. Every one of us has weaknesses.”

  “I didn’t think you had any,” Theo teased.

  Kyle dropped his voice. “Don’t let word get around.” They laughed together. “Seriously, Theo, even Superman had his Kryptonite thing. So, you can be the guy who takes him cool places. Find out why he loves the museum so much and use your connections to take it to the next level. I stayed there overnight with my nephews, but they have lots of other stuff going on.”

  “Will do,” Theo said, liking that plan. He did know some people at the museum and would try to get the boys behind the scenes.

  “But if you really want to be friends, it needs to work both ways. What can he teach you?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “Well, I have one. It’s not huge, but it might help.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Are you going to feed them?”

  “I could. It would probably make sense to have dinner somewhere, but that depends on Lyssa’s plans.”

  “And so your inclination would be to take them to a nice bistro that features locally grown produce and sustainably raised meat, one with linen napkins and all the knives and forks lined up at your place for your dining pleasure. And you’d be able to correct any faux-pas about which fork was chosen at any point in time.”

  Theo smiled. His enjoyment of a properly set table was a long-standing joke with Kyle—although Kyle was a lot more fussy about food than he liked to let others know. “While you think I should take them for chicken wings or pizza, or something that they can eat with their hands?”

  Kyle chuckled. “A compromise. There’s that awesome Thai place up there...”

  “Chopsticks,” Theo said, his heart sinking as he realized Kyle’s point.

  “Chopsticks,” Kyle agreed. “You so suck with chopsticks. You’ve taken incompetence with chopsticks to a level of artistry beyond anyone else.”

  “Shut up.”

  “I love when you say that with your accent,” Kyle said.

  “Fuck off then,” Theo said with a smile, then grinned when Kyle laughed aloud.

  “Even better. Why does everything sound so good when you say it?”

  Theo thought suddenly of reading the phone book to Lyssa and how that had ended. It was a distraction he didn’t quite need.

  “And the thing is, I bet your little child of the new millenium rocks chopsticks.”

  “I’ll look like an incompetent loser,” Theo protested.

  “Use it.” Kyle’s tone was
firm. “It’s a small price to pay to establish a bond between you.”

  “Pity isn’t a good foundation for anything.”

  “Oh, yeah, it is, especially with ten-year-old boys. Trust me.”

  “The truly frightening thing is that I do.” Theo exhaled, watching the ferry pull up to the dock. “Okay. Thanks.”

  “You sound defeated.”

  “I feel a bit overwhelmed. And as for Lyssa...” He heard his voice drop to a growl.

  “Well, that’s fair. But you’re right to keep that separate from your relationship with Logan.”

  “I know. How is it that she can make me so mad?”

  “Some would say it must be love.”

  Theo snorted.

  “Okay, tomorrow. Couple more words to the wise. Make rules early, before they get inventive. Always within one step of me. Period. Non-negotiable. Stuff like that. Lay rules down fast and hard so you stay in control.”

  That advice didn’t make Theo feel any better. He hadn’t really gotten around to worrying about their personal safety yet. What if the boys got lost? What if he couldn’t find them?

  He was a responsible adult. He could do this.

  He hoped. “I don’t understand kids, and there’s going to be two of them.”

  “Bullshit. You rocked that primary school swimming class we hosted out here—which reminds me, three of the mothers are still asking when you’ll be back.”

  Theo smiled. “Which ones?”

  “I’m not telling, not until you call me back and tell me you aced this.” Kyle’s tone turned confidential. “Think of him as a kid, not as your kid. It might make all the difference in the world.”

  “It just might.”

  “You’re scheming something,” Kyle accused. “I can hear you thinking and I already know it’s going to be brilliant. Tell me.”

  “The first of Hunter’s yummy mummy classes start today. They’re having a swimming lesson with the babies, then are going to have a specialized yoga class while the kids go to the new nursery to nap.”

  “Okay. And your point would be?”

  “I’m going to help out.”

  “More experience with both kids and mummies,” Kyle said with approval. “And maybe a date.”

  Theo laughed. “Not before tomorrow. Thanks, Kyle.”

  “Hey, anytime, Superman. Don’t worry about it. The kid’s going to be crazy about you. ”