Bad Case of Loving You

by Deborah Cooke

  “But right now?”

  “Right now, I’m fighting the urge to grab all the money that’s left, snatch up Logan and run away to Tuscany,” she admitted with a smile.

  “Why Tuscany?”

  “Franco and Giancarlo. They’re friends, but not as good friends as they could be. They were a bit insulted at Christmas that I hadn’t told them about my retirement plan.” She sighed and looked lost again. “I’m just not good at trusting people. Franco says I need to learn to open my heart to anyone other than Logan.”

  Which is why she was terrified of disappointing her son.

  “They must be the two guys who host birthday parties for Logan,” Theo guessed, remembering the pictures.

  Lyssa smiled a little. “Yes. They’re crazy about him. We usually go there for Christmas.” She sighed. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to start.”

  “Sounds like you did start, though.”

  “I did. I don’t think he’d hurt me or Logan, but I didn’t think he’d steal from me either, so I changed out the phones. I have new credit cards and the passwords on every account are changed. I checked out of the hotel because I don’t need to add to that bill right now.”

  “Where are you going to stay?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t think I know Sandra well enough to impose, and I know your place is way too small for three people.” Theo guessed that they could have made it work, but didn’t want to push her. She was trying so hard to make a change and he wanted to support that. Lyssa looked up at him. “I always thought the most terrifying thing was to be without money, but actually, the most terrifying thing would be to lose Logan or to have him be disappointed in me. The money, just like you always said, is really just a means to an end. And there isn’t enough of it.”

  “I’m not so sure about that,” Theo said and she looked at him with surprise. “I’ve been talking to a lawyer this afternoon and he reminded me that I owed you ten years of child support.”

  “But I didn’t tell you. You didn’t know.”

  “I still have a responsibility.”

  “Not four million dollars of responsibility,” Lyssa said grimly.

  Theo was shocked. “Is that the whole price or half?”

  Lyssa laughed and it was a welcome sound, even though Theo hadn’t meant to amuse her. “Your expression is priceless. The whole price, and then you know, taxes, maintenance, utilities.” She shook her head. “The boy has champagne taste. It’s really nice.” Her tone turned wistful and Theo realized that it wasn’t just Logan who was looking forward to having a home.

  He could help.

  “Give me a minute,” he said and went out to the desk again. Cassie was there and after a brief discussion, he came back with two key cards, one for the elevator and one for an apartment. He handed them to Lyssa who looked at them with confusion. “1408 is empty,” he said. “It was our model suite and we were planning to list it for sale this month. It can wait a week or so. Just one bedroom, so one of you will have to sleep on the couch tonight.”

  “How much is it?”

  “It’s empty, Lyssa. We’re not a hotel. Just use it and don’t trash it and we’ll be all good.”

  “I wouldn’t trash it!”

  “I know. I just wanted to tease you.”

  She smiled then, a smile that lit her eyes. “Theo! Thank you.” Her hand closed over the keys. “I never thought...thank you!”

  “So you’ve talked to the bank. What about a lawyer? I’m sure Ty knows some who focus on employment law and would give you advice about managing the terminations, if not the fraud.”

  “That would be great. I don’t even know who to call.”

  “And what if we went looking at apartments tomorrow? Maybe we could find a smaller one or a cheaper one and buy it jointly?

  “You’d do that?”

  Theo nodded. He’d do more than that, he realized. He’d still do anything for Lyssa because he still loved her—and he still thought his life was better with her in it.

  But he was aware that it was all new to her to rely on anyone else. He didn’t want to spook her.

  Maybe he’d give her exactly what she thought she wanted.

  “Of course,” he said.

  “I’m not getting married again,” she reminded him, that wariness returning just as he’d anticipated. “This isn’t going to be like a movie.”

  “I don’t remember proposing,” Theo said and saw that she was a little bit surprised. “We’ll be co-parents. It’ll be practical. And better for Logan to be able to count on both of us.” He smiled and offered his hand. “Deal?”

  Lyssa looked at his hand, then at his lips, then back to his hand again. It said something about the damage to her confidence that she put her hand in his, instead of suggesting a kiss. “Deal,” she said, but Theo heard the tiny note of disappointment in her voice.

  He knew then that this could work out perfectly.

  All he needed was patience, and Theo had lots of that.

  Careful what you wish for.

  Lyssa was swept up in a whirlwind of activity after talking to Theo. His friends helped her on his behalf and it was amazing to feel the strength of the bond between them. Theo immediately introduced her to Tyler, who put her in touch with lawyers and arranged a meeting for the next morning. He also offered to help her with her investments if she wanted any suggestions. She met Cassie and Damon and the younger members of the F5 team, and was swept up to the apartment to leave the quilt there. She spread it on the bed for Logan, glanced at the view, then went to the hotel with Theo to pick up their luggage. She was keenly aware that she was no longer alone, that there was someone she could count on, and felt as if a weight had slipped from her shoulders.

  It was all achieved in time for her to meet the Berensteins for dinner as arranged, and she thought it only fair to ask Theo to join them. She changed her blouse and fixed her lipstick in the apartment, then met him in the lobby.

  The sight of him stole her breath away, but it was more than his striking good looks. He was honorable and trustworthy and that made him even more attractive to her. She supposed it was ironic that she found herself yearning for more than just sex—or even just sex—when Theo seemed to have decided they would just be friends.

  That he was giving her exactly what she’d said she wanted was more than ironic.

  They went to a little bistro around the corner from Sandra and Ben’s apartment, a new place that had already become a favorite, and Lyssa was glad to be wearing a suit. She found herself watching Theo’s hands and his mouth, the light in his eyes, the way he moved. He’d always been graceful and elegant and now that he was fit and beautifully dressed, he was gorgeous.

  “All men should wear suits, all the time,” Sandra whispered to her when they were seated, her eyes sparkling.

  Lyssa could only nod agreement. Her mouth was dry and she didn’t have anything clever to say. The table was round and she was across from Theo, with Logan between them and Sandra beside her. It meant she couldn’t help but watch Theo. Lyssa was seduced all over again by the low murmur of his voice, by that damn accent, by his sense of humor. He was great with Logan, never talking down to him, always patient.

  He and Ben were soon talking about a rooftop garden in the works at F5. Ben was an architect, and while Lyssa knew that, she hadn’t been aware of how involved he’d been in adding green spaces to the city. She couldn’t help but notice how Logan was entranced with Theo and was already looking to him for advice. He was also watching him and Lyssa saw how he’d begun to mimic Theo a little. It turned out that Theo and Sandra had met at a charity function, and they spent much of the meal trying to figure out which one, laughing at how active they both were. Conversation was remarkably easy and the talk flowed in a way that made Lyssa look forward to more such meals.

  She realized how little she knew about Simon’s parents and admitted that the situation was at least partly because she’d held herself apart from them.


  Well, that could change.

  Open your heart, Franco had said.

  Lyssa asked Sandra about the cosmetics company that helped with the surgeries for children, and Sandra knew a lot about them. There was a Valentine’s Day dinner and dance fundraiser to benefit that charity and before Lyssa knew it, Theo had committed to tickets. She suggested that some of her clothing collection might be auctioned to raise more money, and Sandra latched onto that idea with gusto. Lyssa learned that Simon’s mom was a force to be reckoned with when it came to organizing. She offered to help Lyssa sort them out once the collection came out of storage, and Lyssa could see that she was excited about the possibilities.

  It was a wonderful meal, one that left Lyssa filled with a sense of possibility for the future and ended too soon. The boys were yawning, though. Theo and Ben exchanged cards, and then Theo hailed a cab out front. Ben was going to drive the boys back to school in the morning and Theo would bring Logan back uptown while Lyssa met with the lawyers Ty had recommended.

  “Where are we going?” Logan asked, clearly seeing that they weren’t taking the right route to the hotel.

  “We’re staying at F5 tonight,” Lyssa explained. “I checked out of the hotel today.”

  “Are we staying with you?” he asked Theo.

  Theo shook his head. “I have a very small apartment, but there’s another one at F5 that’s empty. You’re going to stay there.”

  “Why is it empty?”

  “Because we used it as a model when the apartments were for sale. It’s the last one.”

  Logan turned to Lyssa. “Are we going to buy it?”

  She smiled. “No, we’ll buy an apartment on the Upper West Side, like we planned. Theo just arranged for us to stay here tonight.”

  “We could have stayed at the hotel.”

  “We thought this might be simpler, since Theo’s taking you back to Simon’s in the morning.”

  Logan nodded. “Are you going to buy the apartment we picked?”

  “Maybe not,” Lyssa prevaricated. “Theo is going to help me look at some other options. We might find a better one. You and I only looked at a few, after all.”

  “And we’re only going to buy one so we have to get it right,” Logan said, repeating her earlier words. Lyssa nodded, then he turned to Theo. “Are you going to live with us?”

  Lyssa felt a little jolt, but was glad her son was blunt.

  She was less happy with Theo’s smooth reply.

  “No, I have an apartment already.”

  “But you can visit us?”

  “Sure. If you invite me.”

  “And I get my own room?” Logan asked Lyssa, clearly sensing that something had changed and wanting reassurance.

  “Absolutely,” she said.

  “And we’ll have an apartment by the time I come for March break?”

  “That’s the plan.”

  He looked between them, thinking, then the cab reached F5. They crossed the lobby, Logan enthusiastically telling Lyssa again about climbing the rock wall, and Lyssa wondered about Theo’s plans. He said nothing, simply walked on Logan’s other side.

  He’d been a perfect gentleman, so perfect that they could have been acquaintances, and Lyssa felt the lack of his attention. He’d spoken more intently to Sandra at dinner than to her, and she found herself yearning for just one seductive smile.

  A kiss.

  Some boom.

  Maybe a lot of boom.

  Then she was impatient with herself for being unreasonable. What had she expected? Theo believed in love, romance and forever. She’d made it clear that she didn’t. Theo wasn’t interested in just sex and that was all Lyssa had offered.

  They rode the elevator in silence and Theo got off at his floor, confirming the schedule for the morning, then striding away without a backward glance. He was even whistling a little under his breath, as if everything was just fine.

  Was she making an assumption that they’d be going to that fundraising dinner together? The doors closed and it was too late to ask.

  Co-parents.

  Lyssa reminded herself that this was exactly what she had told Theo she wanted. He was taking her at her word and giving her what she said she wanted. It should have felt good. She should have been glad.

  But as the elevator doors opened at their floor, Lyssa knew it wasn’t nearly enough.

  Fourteen

  It was after midnight when Theo’s phone rang, but he was still awake. He was staring out at the city, his apartment dark, his thoughts filled with Lyssa. It had been such a great evening, but one thing would have made it better.

  Making love with Lyssa.

  He smiled when he saw that it was her.

  “Who are you going to attend that fundraiser with?” she asked, her voice both low and playful. He knew she was trying to ensure she didn’t wake Logan, but the pitch of her voice felt intimate.

  “I don’t know,” he admitted.

  “No ideas?” she teased.

  “Well, I have one.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “But this co-parenting thing is all new to me. It might be beyond the bounds of that.”

  Lyssa made a sound of disgust. “This co-parenting thing is new to both of us, but it was your idea.”

  “Just trying to fulfill your expectations,” he said lightly. “No love, no romance, no forever.” He wasn’t really expecting her to argue that, and she didn’t.

  “I think sharing custody of a kid is pretty much forever.”

  “Never mind real estate.”

  “There is that.”

  “Maybe that’s why they came up with the traditional plan.”

  She laughed a little. “You’re relentless.”

  “No. I’m idealistic.” He moved to stand in front of her painting, looking at it again. “And romantic. Guilty as charged.”

  “You don’t sound too troubled about it.”

  “I’m not. You’re the one who’s troubled about it.”

  “I just don’t want to mislead you.”

  “Maybe the lady protests too much.”

  “Maybe we could both use some boom.”

  Theo smiled that she was so direct. “Still worried?”

  “Less than I was earlier today,” she admitted and he was relieved. “It was good to talk to you, and to have someone to talk to.” Her tone was cautious but Theo was relieved by her words. “I’m not looking forward to Monday, because Justin has no qualms about making a scene, but the lawyers are going to go with me.”

  “Good.”

  “They’re impressive and intimidating. Thank you for putting me in touch with them.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  There was a long silence then, but Theo didn’t want to end the call. “Talk to me about butterflies,” he invited and Lyssa caught her breath.

  “You’re looking at it, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you still think it’s good?”

  “Yes. I’m biting my tongue to keep from asking you when you’re going to paint again.”

  “That must hurt,” she teased and he chuckled. “I don’t know,” she said finally. “It’s hard to be so honest.”

  “Tell me what’s honest about this painting.”

  “Everything. It’s about fear for the future.”

  “How so?” Theo thought he could guess but he wanted her explanation.

  Lyssa considered that for a moment. “I was thinking that dreams are like butterflies. That you can chase them and maybe brush against them with your fingertips, but you can’t really capture them. That would be like putting a butterfly in a jar. The attempt to protect it defeats the purpose, because the butterfly dies.”

  “Everything dies.”

  “I know, but I don’t want to watch that, or be responsible for it.”

  “So, it’s better just to let the butterfly go?” Theo asked, knowing they weren’t really talking about butterflies.

  “I used to think so, but I’m starting
to wonder.”

  Theo could only take that as encouragement. “You always said we didn’t have enough common ground to make it work.”

  He heard the smile in her words. “And you always said that our differences made things interesting. I really wanted to believe you.” She paused for a moment. “I still do.”

  “But?”

  “But I would rather walk away than watch this bond between us disintegrate into nothing at all.” Her words were husky and heartfelt, as honest and forthright as the Lyssa he remembered so well. “Justin and I weren’t in love. Ours was a marriage of convenience, like a contract, but it still was so ugly and so disappointing to watch it erode. I can’t imagine how painful it would be to see that happen to something important.”

  “To love.”

  Lyssa sighed. “To love. To a great, magical, empowering love.”

  Theo closed his eyes, awed by her confession. It was the closest she’d ever come to saying those three little words.

  “So maybe the plan should be to nurture what’s important, instead of denying it or pushing it away.”

  “Or building barriers against it,” she said quietly. “You’re starting to sound like Franco.”

  “Then I consider myself to be in good company.”

  She almost laughed, and the sound was like the flutter of delicate wings against his ear.

  Theo bowed his head, struck again by the sense that she could disappear if he played his cards wrong. This time, he’d get it right. “Then let me tell you the lesson I take from butterflies,” he murmured. “I think butterflies are stronger than they appear to be and more resilient than we realize, but most importantly, they savor the moment.” He heard Lyssa inhale sharply. “They flutter in that beam of sunlight. They sip from that flower. They seize every opportunity to be the best butterflies they can be. They don’t regret the past or fear the future. They live in the present, one minute at a time.”

  Lyssa didn’t say anything for a long while but Theo knew she was still there. “I like that,” she whispered finally. “It means they’re also a lot braver than I thought they were.”