Hold Me

by Susan Mallery

  They headed outside. The day was warm and sunny. To the side of the office was a small garden with a few tables and benches. A good place for volunteers to collect, Destiny thought. And for them to get updates and rest before heading back out on a call.

  Other arrangements would have to be made for the winter, she thought. Maybe they could meet at the nearby fire station. Not that it was her problem to solve, she reminded herself. When she was finished with her job, she would move on. No matter how much she enjoyed a particular location, she never came back.

  They sat across from each other at one of the tables.

  “I talked to Miles this morning,” Destiny said. “He told me you’ve found him some part-time work.”

  Kipling shrugged. “He said he got bored. I knew a couple of guys who might want to expand their business using a helicopter. It seemed like a win-win.”

  “Shelby said you liked to fix things. I can see what she meant.”

  “Is that a bad thing?”

  “No. It’s just an interesting trait. Is there a psychological reason, or were you born that way?”

  He chuckled. “Which do you think?”

  “I don’t know. I think how we’re raised has a big impact on how we act later in life.” She’d learned a lot of lessons watching her parents. Of course those lessons had mostly been about things she needed to avoid. But there had been positive lessons, too.

  “I agree with you on that,” he said, then hesitated. “What Miles said about your parents. You weren’t happy.”

  She resisted the urge to duck her head and bolt. “No. I don’t tell a lot of people. They ask questions that I don’t want to answer.”

  “Or assume things that aren’t true.”

  “How did you know?”

  “Let’s just say I’m not a famous country singer, but I’ve been in the limelight before. It’s not all positive attention.”

  “Of course. You’re that hot skier guy.”

  One eyebrow rose. “You think I’m hot?”

  Heat instantly burned on her cheeks. She cleared her throat. “I was speaking in generalities, not specifics.”

  “So you don’t think I’m hot.”

  He was teasing her. Flirting maybe. She almost never got to that point with any guy, so she wasn’t sure what to do. Destiny suddenly realized that her plan to find someone sensible and ignore everyone else had a giant flaw. She was twenty-eight years old, and she didn’t really know how to deal with a man outside of a work setting.

  Miles was easy. She thought of him as a brother. The tech guys and her boss were colleagues. People she met as she went from town to town were kept at a careful distance. No one got close, which kept her safe, but what happened when she found the one? How was she supposed to get close to him?

  “It wasn’t supposed to be that hard a question,” Kipling told her, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

  “You know you’re very good-looking. You don’t need more compliments from me.”

  “More implies there have been some. So far, you’re a disappointment in the compliment department. I was hoping for more.”

  “Handsome is as handsome does.”

  He frowned. “What does that mean?”

  “I don’t know. It’s something my Grandma Nell used to say. But it sounds wise.”

  “Or confusing. Is the flip side of that ‘ugly is as ugly does’?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “So who’s Grandma Nell?”

  Destiny felt herself relaxing as she remembered the other woman. “My maternal grandmother. She lived in the Smoky Mountains all her life. She was wonderful. Loving and smart and an emotional rock for me, if a bit flirty when it came to men. No matter what happened, I could count on her.”

  Destiny smiled as memories flooded her. “My parents were young when they had me. My mom was still eighteen, and my dad was only a few months older. Apparently, four weeks after I was born, they went off on tour and left me with her. I spent the first couple of years of my life with her. I don’t really remember. Then I was with my parents for a while and other family members. My early years weren’t exactly stable.”

  “Was that hard?”

  “Sometimes. I would go on tour and have a nanny. The guys in the band always looked out for me.”

  Kipling studied her. “Didn’t you have a hit record when you were maybe seven or eight? I would swear I remember that.”

  Destiny felt the second blush of the day on her cheeks. “Yes,” she said with a groan. “‘Under the Willow Tree.’ I was eight, and the song did very well.”

  She’d been nominated for a Grammy, which should have been a terrific experience, only that very morning her father had told her that he and her mother were divorcing for the second time. She’d been devastated, and it had taken all she had not to sob when walking the red carpet.

  The reporters had wanted to talk to her. To ask about what it was like to be so young and so talented. She’d wanted to explain to them that she would give up all of it simply to have her parents stay together.

  “Right after that, my parents split up again. There was a huge custody battle over me. I’m not sure either wanted me as much as they said. I think it was more about hurting each other.” She shrugged. “I went back and forth between them for a couple of years. They both married again and again. When I was ten, Grandma Nell showed up and said I was going to live with her.”

  “Was that better?” he asked.

  “Much. She had a small house. There was running water, but not much else. Electricity was spotty. We had a wood-burning stove, and we grew a lot of our own food. There were times I was lonely, but mostly I was so grateful to her for taking me in.”

  As she spoke she was aware of Kipling watching her intently. She had no idea what he was thinking, but didn’t feel it was bad. From what she could tell, he was a nice man. He fixed things, which was an admirable trait. If her parents had been more interested in holding the family together...

  But they hadn’t been. Which left her with a half sister she didn’t know and left Starr with no one else to take care of her.

  “Tell me more about Grandma Nell,” he prompted.

  She smiled. “She knew about plants and how to can and sew. She was a big reader. We would drive into town every Wednesday afternoon and go to the movies, then stop at the library and get lots of books. I was homeschooled until I was sixteen. She sent away for lesson plans, and she made me stick to a schedule.”

  “What happened when you turned sixteen?”

  “She said I had to go join the real world. That I couldn’t hide forever. I didn’t want to go, but she was right, as usual. I stayed with my father while I took college entrance exams and applied to different universities.”

  She remembered how she’d been so scared that she wasn’t going to know enough. She should have trusted Grandma Nell. “I got accepted everywhere I applied. My scores were really high, and I ended up being able to test out of half my general education courses.”

  Neither of which had made up for missing the woman who had taken her in and loved her like a mother.

  “She visited me at college every semester, and everyone adored her,” she continued.

  “I’d like to meet her,” Kipling said.

  “She’s gone.” Destiny felt her smile fade. “Three years ago, she came to stay with me for a couple of weeks. When she was leaving, she said it was her time. I didn’t understand. She died three days later.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Thanks. Me, too. I miss her every day. Even more so now that I have Starr. Grandma Nell would have known what to do.”

  “You do, too.”

  “I’m less sure of that.” She shook her head. “Sorry. I’m not sure where that all came from. I’m usually more private.”

  “I asked.”

  “Still.” She stood. “I should go check on my tech guys. Every now and then they remember they have to eat. I can do a lunch run for them.”

  Kiplin
g rose and walked around the table. He gazed into her eyes. “Grandma Nell sounds like she really loved you.”

  “She did.”

  “You’ll always have that.”

  They walked toward the front door of the building.

  “The Man Cave is opening soon,” he said. “It’s this bar I own with a few business partners.”

  “I’ve heard some people talking about it,” she admitted. “You must be excited.”

  “I am. Come to the opening with me. We’re going to have a killer karaoke setup. You could sing.”

  “I don’t sing,” she told him firmly.

  “Ever?”

  “Not in public.”

  “But it has to be in your blood.”

  “There are a lot of things in my blood. I deny most of them. It makes life easier.”

  “Who said easy was the right path?” he asked. “I’d like to hear you sing.”

  “It’s never going to happen.” She narrowed her gaze. “I don’t need fixing.”

  “I didn’t say you did.”

  “Shelby warned me, and she was right. Let me repeat myself. No fixing required. I’m perfectly fine. I have everything under control. I prefer life without surprises.”

  Kipling studied her for a second then leaned in. She had no idea what he was going to do so wasn’t the least bit prepared for the feel of his mouth brushing against hers.

  The contact was brief, soft and rocked her down to her tiniest toes. She went hot then cold. Her chest got tight, and somewhere deep inside, a dark, lonely place she rarely acknowledged, warmed up at least three degrees.

  “Why did you do that?” she demanded when he’d straightened.

  One corner of his mouth turned up. “Two reasons. First, because I wanted to. And second, everyone needs a good surprise now and then.”

  She struggled to speak, but there were no words. She could only stare as he gave her a wink then turned and walked away.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  DESTINY GENTLY STRUMMED her guitar. The music was elusive tonight. Taunting her with melodies attached to half phrases. But when she tried to capture the notes or even the words, they faded away.

  You could be my best regret. I could be your peace of mind.

  She made a few more notes then put down her guitar and flopped back on her bed. She immediately sat up and began playing the hillbilly music Grandma Nell had loved. Mostly the songs didn’t appeal to her, but they were a connection. Many a winter’s night, she and Grandma Nell had played and sung by firelight as the snow fell outside. There had been an old piano in the front room. A man came by every spring and tuned it. The rest of the year, they made do.

  Now she sang about the mountain and God and life until she started to relax. Unfortunately, the second she did, she remembered Kipling’s kiss and tensed up all over again.

  Stupid man, she thought as she put down her guitar again. Stupid, stupid kiss. Why had he done that? And then to walk away. Who did that?

  She told herself it didn’t matter. So he’d kissed her. It wasn’t as if she’d asked. And while she got a little thrill every time she thought about his mouth on hers, it wasn’t as if she was letting her hormones run away with her. She was perfectly in control, as always.

  In fact, it was probably good Kipling had kissed her. As she’d recently realized, if she wanted to find the man of her somewhat quiet dreams, she was going to need a little more experience. While she doubted he would be the type who wanted to be seduced, she should at least be able to hold her own. So more kissing was a good thing. As long as she didn’t let herself get carried away.

  It was all so ridiculous, she thought as she stretched out on the bed. The whole boy-girl-sex thing. Why did people give in so easily? Why did they let themselves get swept away? People let their bodies take over, and then they made bad decisions. Which would be fine if those decisions didn’t have consequences for other people. But they usually did. Like when Dad and Mom broke up and forgot about their children. Like Jimmy Don with Starr.

  Destiny glanced at the small clock on her nightstand. It was nearly ten. She stood and walked into the hallway, then knocked on Starr’s closed door.

  “Hey, I just wanted to say good-night.”

  There was an odd sound, then Starr said, “You can come in.”

  Destiny opened the door. Her sister sat at the small desk in her room. Her tablet was on a stand.

  “Emailing friends?” Destiny asked.

  “Watching a movie.” Starr half turned toward her, her long hair hanging over her face. “I heard you playing.”

  Destiny winced. She’d been so upset, she’d forgotten to go into the garage. Or wait until Starr was asleep.

  Destiny walked over to the bed and sat down. “Yes, you did.”

  “So you can play. You lied.”

  “I know. I apologize.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “I don’t like playing. Sometimes I can’t help doing it, but mostly I ignore it. Music isn’t my thing.”

  “What if it’s my thing?” Starr brushed her hair back and glared.

  Destiny saw what looked like tears on her sister’s cheeks. “Are you okay?”

  Starr brushed at her face. “I’m fine. You didn’t answer the question.”

  Destiny thought about life with her parents. How every moment had been dominated by music. It had always been playing in the background. There had been jam sessions in the living room. Even putting the dishes away had turned into a music extravaganza with flatware as percussion and water-filled glasses playing the melody. She thought of the laughter and later the tears. The sense of being abandoned over and over again. Of being a pawn.

  “It’s complicated,” she began.

  “No, it’s not. I want to play better, and you won’t teach me. We’re sisters. You’re supposed to care about me.”

  “I do.”

  “No, you don’t. Music is the most important part of my life, and you’re keeping me from it.”

  “I’m sorry. Sorry that I lied and sorry you’re hurt now.” She paused, knowing what she had to say and not wanting to say it. No. It wasn’t the words she regretted, it was the actions that would follow.

  “I can teach you to play,” she said softly. “Guitar and piano. I have a keyboard in my room.”

  Starr turned away. “Never mind. I don’t want to learn anything from you.”

  Destiny flinched as if she’d been hit. She’d screwed up. “Please, Starr. Don’t punish me by punishing yourself. That never goes well. Let’s spend some time playing this weekend. I can show you a few things that—”

  “I said no.” Starr turned back to her computer. “It’s late. I’m tired.”

  In other words, get out of my room, Destiny thought.

  “Okay.” She stood. “Good night.”

  She walked out and closed the door.

  She told herself she would do better next time. The subject wasn’t over. She would give Starr a couple of days then bring it up again. Teaching her a few chords wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe it would give them something to talk about. A way to get to know each other.

  Because while Destiny might not know everything Grandma Nell would do, she was sure the older woman would make Starr feel welcome and loved. It was a lesson Destiny knew she had to learn.

  * * *

  ANGELO’S ITALIAN CUISINA was across from the park. The whitewashed building had a large patio with plenty of outdoor dining. Kipling tasted the red wine that had just been delivered to the table.

  “Very nice,” he said.

  Their server nodded and poured. When he’d left, Shelby leaned toward him.

  “Do you ever send the wine back just because?” she asked with a grin.

  “No. Not my style.”

  “I know. I’m just messing with you. I’m sure in your life, you get enough attention in other ways.”

  Not lately, he thought, thinking it had been a long time between women in his life. Between recovering from the crash an
d then moving to Fool’s Gold, he’d avoided romantic entanglements. But if all went according to plan, he was going to be tangled up very soon. Which wasn’t a subject he would be discussing with his baby sister.

  “How’s work?” he asked. They were having dinner at five in the evening. A ridiculous time, but Shelby’s job at the bakery required an early start.

  “Good. I’m learning a lot. Amber is trusting me with more and more responsibility. The tourist season is bringing in a lot of business. I had no idea how many people come back year after year. They remember what they ordered last time, and we sure had better have it now.”

  He nodded to show he was listening. He admired Shelby’s enthusiasm. A year ago she’d been dealing with a mother dying of cancer and a father who thought nothing of putting his fist into his only daughter’s face.

  “I suggested we have a food cart at the last festival. Amber wasn’t sure it would work, but we sold out of everything before noon. It was a huge moneymaker.”

  “Congratulations on impressing the boss.”

  “Thanks. I have a lot of ideas.” Shelby glanced down at the table then back up. “Amber and I have been talking.”

  Kipling recognized the tone and the strategy. He braced himself for something he knew he didn’t want to hear. “And?”

  “When her dad retires, she’s going to take over the bookstore. There’s no way she can run two businesses at the same time. So she’s looking for a partner in the bakery. I was thinking I want to buy into the bakery with her.”

  Kipling deliberately inhaled, giving himself time to think before speaking.

  “That’s a great opportunity,” he said slowly. “Are you sure you’re ready for it?”

  “I know what I’m doing. I love the work, and I want to stay in Fool’s Gold permanently.”

  “You’re more than capable of making a decision about this on your own. I’m just asking that you think it through. You haven’t been here that long. You’re coming off a very difficult emotional loss. Buying into a business is a big responsibility. What if you and Amber want different things for the business? It won’t be just a job anymore. You can’t quit and walk away.”